Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2013 12:32:13 GMT
I know that people likely think that what I am saying is nothing; that it is useless because of all this talk about how I was once someone I certainly am not proving it week after week. I am coming up short, failing, something that I am not accustomed too, but to me that is all part of this evolution I am trying to make.
I lost to a war veteran on Veteran’s Day. Isn’t that a good thing? If I won it would have decimated all his momentum, it would have been petty and understated if I fell to him and now he is going full steam ahead and I couldn’t be more happy for him. My time will come, my moment will be realized but it certainly isn’t going to be realized at the expense of someone else who needs it more.
Years ago, I would’ve squashed Maison under my boot, making nothing of an example of it, taking my win which would be worthless and running back to stew in my own self loathing hatred and spite, It isn’t happening anymore. I know that the things I used to be aren’t the things I am now. I know that the mistakes I have made and the people I have destroyed may never have the second chance that I am having now.
And I feel horrible at night for it. Am I saying that I am throwing matches? No, of course not, doing something like that would be silly but there was a time where I would completely engage myself in everything that is my opponent, there was a time that I would think of nothing outside of that match and I would never lose.
Now there are other important things, now there are other important people, those that truly need the time, and those that are helping me to become the person I can become. Because to me, being a better person and living life to the fullest is now more important than standing in the ring triumphant week after week.
So if I am not completely prepared every week, so be it. If I am not in the main event every week, so be it. But what I am doing is giving entertainment, I am a part of something greater, and that in itself is what the real importance is.
No longer is it what can wrestling do for me.
But now I care what I can do for wrestling.
And this week, as I step into the ring with three other men, three people who are all amazing competitors in their own respect I will bring that mentality to the ring, I will try to make my worth know but I will not throw my loved ones aside for it, I won’t ignore my other responsibilities, I will not throw fan letters in the garbage, laughing at their content, I will take the time to understand those that care about me.
And I will be better for it. I will find my Redemption through wins, through losses, through interactions.
I will become better.
And I will make a lasting change.
{Scene opens, we are bought to a small gym, Redemption is shown in a ring working with another person whose face is covered and the voice is altered as well}
Man: I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, I didn’t work for years improving your skills only to watch you fall into old habits, habits of some newbie who can’t handle themselves in the ring. You don’t lose.
Redemption: I think I have proven that statement wrong the last two weeks.
Man: No, you haven’t. One week you didn’t get pinned and last week you were rolled up, all is not lost. At least there is a glimmer of hope somewhere in there, I mean let’s be honest something needs to change, the organization is falling apart and your paychecks aren’t quite what they used to be.
Redemption: I am reminded of that almost daily by the shareholders.
Man: So, you need to get back in the win column, you need to get people to put some money behind you. You need to get some sponsors, but no one is going to sponsor some goody two shoes person that can’t win a match.
Redemption: The losing thing is something I am unaccustomed to, but there has to be a reason for it, there has to be. I mean, think about it. Winning those matches wouldn’t really have done as much for my career as it certainly did for the other guys, so really, who was hurt? I am an unknown entity and they are established, if I win then they suffer.
Man: I don’t know what has gotten into you man, this isn’t you. You need to wake the hell up and get some drive back. If you keep getting accustomed to losing then you are going to be one thing and one thing only, and that is a loser.
Redemption: I have won so long, I am wondering if this is my time to lose, let’s be honest I could lose the rest of my matches for the duration of my career and possibly still come up on the good side of five hundred.
Man: But if you piss away your legacy what is it all worth?
Redemption: If it helps someone else, if it ignites passion or drives someone to reach something that has always been out of reach then it has been something done in a positive manner. That is what you don’t understand here, I don’t care about the domination anymore, that is what put me where I am, I don’t care about the endless ride to the top, the title belts I have had them. All I want now is to make a lasting impression; I want to be a part of something great. When it is my time then it will be my time, but I have taken others opportunities for so long that I don’t want to do it anymore…
{Silence takes over the scene as the men look at each other, suddenly we hear a loud crashing and a booming voice that is once again altered}
Man 2: That sounds like pussy talk to me, your soul better belong to Jesus because right now your ass belongs to me.
{The man steps into the ring as the scene fades}
Another week and another steep challenge lies in front of me, every week I think perhaps I will be booked against a person that lets me showcase my talent, maybe this is the week that I will be able to shine but each week it has seemed that the story of another man has greatly overpowered mine, and thus this week I could sit here and tell all the reasons that my opponents won’t be able to get the job done, but I think instead of that I will express my wishes for this match and let you know the reasons that I think that I am currently being overlooked.
I do have that special something, the thing that many dream of having but after winning so many times for so long I needed to see if it was my skills that were winning matches or if it was my reputation that caused others to feel that they couldn’t defeat me. And I think deep down I am starting to realize that sure, I was a devastating force but there was so much wrapped up in my persona that ninety nine percent of my matches were won before I even went to the ring, they were won because my opponents deep down knew that they couldn’t beat me.
It is weird now that the roles have reversed and this week I know that I am going to have to show something that I haven’t shown yet in order to come out on top, because the thing that many don’t realize is that in the IWF there are no easy matches, everyone here is fighting for a spot, fighting for a moment of greatness and I am just one among many.
When it comes to me facing off against Gjenrai, Nero Blake and Jayson Matthews, I know that I am going to be facing off against other incredibly hungry superstars all trying to prove that they are the best but this week, I feel that I have added chance as I have the cruiserweight champion looking at me across the ring. I have a chance to prove myself against one of the top people in this federation and that is an opportunity that I won’t let slip. Last week, I had a chance to be placed in the main event of the next pay-per-view and I squandered it, or so I thought but when it came down to it I knew that it wasn’t for me. That spot belonged to an established star here, and Maison will do a great job trying to take down Spike’s Empire.
So that places me here in this moment, and I am ready, I am ready to rise to the next level, I am ready to make that next step, the step towards making a name for myself, a step towards making Redemption synonymous with greatness the way my name of old was.
{Scene opens again, Redemption lies in bed with his mask on, his significant other lies next to him her face blurred out)
Redemption: You have been very quiet this week, I hope everything is ok.
Woman: Yeah, uhhh… Everything is fine. It is just there is some financial stress at work, and I am starting to feel it here. I mean, there are things going on and then, well. I don’t want to add stress to your life but some big changes are going to happen soon and I won’t lie, you kind of are going to have to start winning some matches.
Redemption: Why is that?
Woman: Well, the board is losing confidence, the shareholders are nervous. Because so much of our income was set behind your career, when you start losing then our shares suffer.
Redemption: I didn’t realize.
Woman: And with your income and lack of sponsorships right now, I have been dipping into my funds. And I won’t lie; I don’t know how long that will last. And with another mouth to feed around here soon we need to get our things together.
Redemption: Another mouth to…
{He stops and the corners of his mask start to curl up}
Redemption: You mean you are…
Woman: Yes, I am pregnant.
{Redemption leaps from bed and starts to pump his fist happily, the woman is happy}
Redemption: That is what I needed, a purpose, a meaning and now I have it… That is what has been missing and once again something happened, something occurred that changed my fate!
Woman: I am glad, but that doesn’t eliminate the stress.
Redemption: Things are going to work out, I will win this match this week and I will secure a sponsorship next week, someone will sponsor me if I come out on top over three men, and when one of them is a cruiserweight champion that will be all the better!
{The woman smiles as Redemption jumps back in bed embracing her.}
Woman: Before we get crazy can you do me a favor?
Redemption: Sure.
Woman: Take off the damn mask!
{Scene fades}
Jayson Matthews, Gjenrai and Nero I am sorry, I am sorry but this weekend I come to the ring with a new purpose, I come to the ring with a motivation and a sense of necessity for I need to start building a life for my unborn child, a child that took a very, very long time to conceive, a child that I thought would never come and certainly never come from myself.
But that child is coming.
And I need to start creating something for the child to be proud of, I need to start bringing a new message and changing the world that my child will live in, I need to fix this wrestling business so that if he or she ever decides to join it that it will be a wonderful place, not a political nightmare full of soap opera drama.
This weekend I start rising up the ranks.
This week I start making a name for the new me.
And this week, my legacy begins.
I lost to a war veteran on Veteran’s Day. Isn’t that a good thing? If I won it would have decimated all his momentum, it would have been petty and understated if I fell to him and now he is going full steam ahead and I couldn’t be more happy for him. My time will come, my moment will be realized but it certainly isn’t going to be realized at the expense of someone else who needs it more.
Years ago, I would’ve squashed Maison under my boot, making nothing of an example of it, taking my win which would be worthless and running back to stew in my own self loathing hatred and spite, It isn’t happening anymore. I know that the things I used to be aren’t the things I am now. I know that the mistakes I have made and the people I have destroyed may never have the second chance that I am having now.
And I feel horrible at night for it. Am I saying that I am throwing matches? No, of course not, doing something like that would be silly but there was a time where I would completely engage myself in everything that is my opponent, there was a time that I would think of nothing outside of that match and I would never lose.
Now there are other important things, now there are other important people, those that truly need the time, and those that are helping me to become the person I can become. Because to me, being a better person and living life to the fullest is now more important than standing in the ring triumphant week after week.
So if I am not completely prepared every week, so be it. If I am not in the main event every week, so be it. But what I am doing is giving entertainment, I am a part of something greater, and that in itself is what the real importance is.
No longer is it what can wrestling do for me.
But now I care what I can do for wrestling.
And this week, as I step into the ring with three other men, three people who are all amazing competitors in their own respect I will bring that mentality to the ring, I will try to make my worth know but I will not throw my loved ones aside for it, I won’t ignore my other responsibilities, I will not throw fan letters in the garbage, laughing at their content, I will take the time to understand those that care about me.
And I will be better for it. I will find my Redemption through wins, through losses, through interactions.
I will become better.
And I will make a lasting change.
{Scene opens, we are bought to a small gym, Redemption is shown in a ring working with another person whose face is covered and the voice is altered as well}
Man: I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, I didn’t work for years improving your skills only to watch you fall into old habits, habits of some newbie who can’t handle themselves in the ring. You don’t lose.
Redemption: I think I have proven that statement wrong the last two weeks.
Man: No, you haven’t. One week you didn’t get pinned and last week you were rolled up, all is not lost. At least there is a glimmer of hope somewhere in there, I mean let’s be honest something needs to change, the organization is falling apart and your paychecks aren’t quite what they used to be.
Redemption: I am reminded of that almost daily by the shareholders.
Man: So, you need to get back in the win column, you need to get people to put some money behind you. You need to get some sponsors, but no one is going to sponsor some goody two shoes person that can’t win a match.
Redemption: The losing thing is something I am unaccustomed to, but there has to be a reason for it, there has to be. I mean, think about it. Winning those matches wouldn’t really have done as much for my career as it certainly did for the other guys, so really, who was hurt? I am an unknown entity and they are established, if I win then they suffer.
Man: I don’t know what has gotten into you man, this isn’t you. You need to wake the hell up and get some drive back. If you keep getting accustomed to losing then you are going to be one thing and one thing only, and that is a loser.
Redemption: I have won so long, I am wondering if this is my time to lose, let’s be honest I could lose the rest of my matches for the duration of my career and possibly still come up on the good side of five hundred.
Man: But if you piss away your legacy what is it all worth?
Redemption: If it helps someone else, if it ignites passion or drives someone to reach something that has always been out of reach then it has been something done in a positive manner. That is what you don’t understand here, I don’t care about the domination anymore, that is what put me where I am, I don’t care about the endless ride to the top, the title belts I have had them. All I want now is to make a lasting impression; I want to be a part of something great. When it is my time then it will be my time, but I have taken others opportunities for so long that I don’t want to do it anymore…
{Silence takes over the scene as the men look at each other, suddenly we hear a loud crashing and a booming voice that is once again altered}
Man 2: That sounds like pussy talk to me, your soul better belong to Jesus because right now your ass belongs to me.
{The man steps into the ring as the scene fades}
Another week and another steep challenge lies in front of me, every week I think perhaps I will be booked against a person that lets me showcase my talent, maybe this is the week that I will be able to shine but each week it has seemed that the story of another man has greatly overpowered mine, and thus this week I could sit here and tell all the reasons that my opponents won’t be able to get the job done, but I think instead of that I will express my wishes for this match and let you know the reasons that I think that I am currently being overlooked.
I do have that special something, the thing that many dream of having but after winning so many times for so long I needed to see if it was my skills that were winning matches or if it was my reputation that caused others to feel that they couldn’t defeat me. And I think deep down I am starting to realize that sure, I was a devastating force but there was so much wrapped up in my persona that ninety nine percent of my matches were won before I even went to the ring, they were won because my opponents deep down knew that they couldn’t beat me.
It is weird now that the roles have reversed and this week I know that I am going to have to show something that I haven’t shown yet in order to come out on top, because the thing that many don’t realize is that in the IWF there are no easy matches, everyone here is fighting for a spot, fighting for a moment of greatness and I am just one among many.
When it comes to me facing off against Gjenrai, Nero Blake and Jayson Matthews, I know that I am going to be facing off against other incredibly hungry superstars all trying to prove that they are the best but this week, I feel that I have added chance as I have the cruiserweight champion looking at me across the ring. I have a chance to prove myself against one of the top people in this federation and that is an opportunity that I won’t let slip. Last week, I had a chance to be placed in the main event of the next pay-per-view and I squandered it, or so I thought but when it came down to it I knew that it wasn’t for me. That spot belonged to an established star here, and Maison will do a great job trying to take down Spike’s Empire.
So that places me here in this moment, and I am ready, I am ready to rise to the next level, I am ready to make that next step, the step towards making a name for myself, a step towards making Redemption synonymous with greatness the way my name of old was.
{Scene opens again, Redemption lies in bed with his mask on, his significant other lies next to him her face blurred out)
Redemption: You have been very quiet this week, I hope everything is ok.
Woman: Yeah, uhhh… Everything is fine. It is just there is some financial stress at work, and I am starting to feel it here. I mean, there are things going on and then, well. I don’t want to add stress to your life but some big changes are going to happen soon and I won’t lie, you kind of are going to have to start winning some matches.
Redemption: Why is that?
Woman: Well, the board is losing confidence, the shareholders are nervous. Because so much of our income was set behind your career, when you start losing then our shares suffer.
Redemption: I didn’t realize.
Woman: And with your income and lack of sponsorships right now, I have been dipping into my funds. And I won’t lie; I don’t know how long that will last. And with another mouth to feed around here soon we need to get our things together.
Redemption: Another mouth to…
{He stops and the corners of his mask start to curl up}
Redemption: You mean you are…
Woman: Yes, I am pregnant.
{Redemption leaps from bed and starts to pump his fist happily, the woman is happy}
Redemption: That is what I needed, a purpose, a meaning and now I have it… That is what has been missing and once again something happened, something occurred that changed my fate!
Woman: I am glad, but that doesn’t eliminate the stress.
Redemption: Things are going to work out, I will win this match this week and I will secure a sponsorship next week, someone will sponsor me if I come out on top over three men, and when one of them is a cruiserweight champion that will be all the better!
{The woman smiles as Redemption jumps back in bed embracing her.}
Woman: Before we get crazy can you do me a favor?
Redemption: Sure.
Woman: Take off the damn mask!
{Scene fades}
Jayson Matthews, Gjenrai and Nero I am sorry, I am sorry but this weekend I come to the ring with a new purpose, I come to the ring with a motivation and a sense of necessity for I need to start building a life for my unborn child, a child that took a very, very long time to conceive, a child that I thought would never come and certainly never come from myself.
But that child is coming.
And I need to start creating something for the child to be proud of, I need to start bringing a new message and changing the world that my child will live in, I need to fix this wrestling business so that if he or she ever decides to join it that it will be a wonderful place, not a political nightmare full of soap opera drama.
This weekend I start rising up the ranks.
This week I start making a name for the new me.
And this week, my legacy begins.
Well howdy there pardner.