Post by Hayleigh Blake on Oct 27, 2024 21:01:57 GMT
10/21/2024
Mexico City, Mexico
Some people in my situation would beat themselves up after a tough loss. Luckily for me, I have my mom for that.
*Imperial March plays*
Great, it’s not even 6am and she’s already texting. Again, I guess she didn’t get the hint last night when I never responded. And why would she? It’s not like she’s thinking about how October Revolution affected me.
Should I read it?
I really don’t want to read it.
UGH!!!
I hesitate to open the message, just holding the phone in my hand like that sandbag Indy had before he swapped it with that golden idol in Raiders.
Fuck it.
I swipe the screen open and it’s pretty much exactly what I thought it would be.
*One Missed Call*
Yeah, I’ll get right on that.
Jesus Christ. Why does she need to be so far up my ass? Can’t a girl just be a little depressed on her own? Is it really so much to ask for some space just to process last night? I know I messed up, the world knows I messed up. Chances like October Revolution don’t come around every week.
I had my first chance to fight for an IWF title and I wasn’t even involved in the finish. It could be months, years before I earn another chance like that.
*Sees announcement for the next card.*
Well, well, well…
Maybe they do come along more frequently than I thought. I guess that’s why she wants to talk. Well mom, as much as I’d like to hear about how much I let you down. I actually don’t want to hear it. So let’s just go ahead and put you on silent.
Done.
I wonder if dad’s up yet?
Mexico City, Mexico
Some people in my situation would beat themselves up after a tough loss. Luckily for me, I have my mom for that.
*Imperial March plays*
Great, it’s not even 6am and she’s already texting. Again, I guess she didn’t get the hint last night when I never responded. And why would she? It’s not like she’s thinking about how October Revolution affected me.
Should I read it?
I really don’t want to read it.
UGH!!!
I hesitate to open the message, just holding the phone in my hand like that sandbag Indy had before he swapped it with that golden idol in Raiders.
Fuck it.
I swipe the screen open and it’s pretty much exactly what I thought it would be.
”Are you kidding?
You weren’t even involved in the finish?
Come on Hayleigh, I trained you better than this.
Are you ignoring me?
You better not be ignoring me.”
You weren’t even involved in the finish?
Come on Hayleigh, I trained you better than this.
Are you ignoring me?
You better not be ignoring me.”
*One Missed Call*
”Fine, we’ll talk in the morning.
Get some rest.
I love you.”
“Are you up yet?
I sure as hell hope so and you better be in the gym.
Hayleigh, call me when you get this, we need to talk strategy for this week.
You’ve got a golden opportunity, we don’t want you fucking it up.
Again.
Call me.”
Get some rest.
I love you.”
“Are you up yet?
I sure as hell hope so and you better be in the gym.
Hayleigh, call me when you get this, we need to talk strategy for this week.
You’ve got a golden opportunity, we don’t want you fucking it up.
Again.
Call me.”
Yeah, I’ll get right on that.
Jesus Christ. Why does she need to be so far up my ass? Can’t a girl just be a little depressed on her own? Is it really so much to ask for some space just to process last night? I know I messed up, the world knows I messed up. Chances like October Revolution don’t come around every week.
I had my first chance to fight for an IWF title and I wasn’t even involved in the finish. It could be months, years before I earn another chance like that.
*Sees announcement for the next card.*
Well, well, well…
Maybe they do come along more frequently than I thought. I guess that’s why she wants to talk. Well mom, as much as I’d like to hear about how much I let you down. I actually don’t want to hear it. So let’s just go ahead and put you on silent.
Done.
I wonder if dad’s up yet?
”So what’s the trope after losing a big match?”
I tap the side of my head like I’m actually thinking about it.
”Oh, now I remember.”
“You guys are lucky I got suplexed out of the ring because if I wasn’t, I’d totally have kicked your asses. Something something, blah-blah, 99 times out of 100 I win or whatever.”
I shrug, what else can I do?
”Sorry if there wasn’t more conviction in that statement, it’s probably because that’s not how I actually feel. I know, I’m supposed to be super confident and cocky and act like because my parents are literally God and God’s gift to professional wrestling that I’m automatically the bees knees.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“I’m an eighteen year old girl five matches into her professional wrestling career. I’m going to make mistakes, I’m going to lose matches, I’m going to have opportunities slip through my fingers. I know it, you know it, I just wish my mom knew it.”
“No offense, mom.”
She’s definitely going to call me when this airs.
”But I must have impressed someone in that match because I was tossed out of one title opportunity and into another one.”
“Literally.”
“If there’s one thing we can all agree on, modern America is all about failing your way up the ladder.”
And that one is going to set of X, I’m just pissing all kinds of people off today.
”But I don’t want to fail up. I want to actually earn my way up. I want to fight and get better and win matches. So, I’m going to be honest and say I’m not super comfortable with losing a match for a shot at the Gladiatorix Championship and waking up booked into a match for a shot at the Women’s World Championship.”
“PLUS SIDE!”
“If I lose this match I get a shot at the Gladiatorix Championship anyway!”
I roll my eyes.
”Look, it’s not my place to question the people booking the show but…”
“Who the hell is booking the show?”
“I don’t belong in the ring fighting for a shot at the Women’s World Championship. I certainly shouldn’t be rewarded for losing with a shot at the Gladiatorix Championship. Just think about the logistics of that. Theoretically if I lose to April, I’ll be coming off two straight title opportunity losses into a title opportunity for the Glaiatorix Championship.”
“That I didn’t earn.”
“I can’t lose!”
“Literally, even if I lose, I win. I still get rewarded with something I didn’t earn. Come on guys, we can book better than this. I’m sure there is someone much more deserving of a spot in either of the four ways at Survival of the Fittest.”
I just sigh.
”I know, I should be happy. I should be thanking the Lord, my literal father for this chance but I can’t help feeling like I don’t belong in this match with April. Call it an uncharacteristic touch of humility for a member of the Blake household.”
I place my hands on my sides.
”But bitching about it isn’t going to change anything. The match is booked, whether I deserve it or not and April certainly isn’t going to take it easy on me. She’s been around the block, I’m sure she wants to hold a World Championship in her hands and I’m willing to bet she sees my humility as a sign that I’m not ready for the opportunity that I’ve been literally handed.”
“Well, I’m not, April, not quite.”
“So that’s very astute of you. I know I’m good, at least good for where I’m at in my career but I don’t believe for a single second I’m ready to do battle for the biggest prize in our industry. Whereas you? You’re a killer, just like your sister. You’ve got the pedigree, the knowledge, the experience, you’re a damn shoe in for a shot at the World title.”
“I guess I’ll just have to do my best…”
I drop my head for a moment, just a moment before looking back up at the camera with just my eyes.
”My best…”
“What even is my best?”
“Was my best what we saw at October Revolution?”
“Or is my best still yet to come?”
“That’s something we both need to ask, April. That’s something I’m asking myself and it’s something you should be asking yourself. Have we seen your best? Have you peaked? Or is there still more to come from the sister of one of the best in the world today?”
“You’ve got a long catalog for me to study, to hone in on your strengths and weaknesses. And I’m starting to wonder if maybe you don’t have more to show. I’m starting to wonder if Brooklyn’s shadow is just where you like to be. I’m starting to wonder if you’re comfortable in your place in this company.”
“Because you didn’t earn this match either.”
“Dean won.”
“He pinned your shoulders to the mat while Brooklyn watched.”
I lift my head up now with that signature Blake smile.
”So we’re both losers.”
“At this moment.”
“We both don’t deserve the chance we’re being given.”
“That makes me feel a little better.”
“You know what else makes me feel better? Knowing my family would never do to me what yours did to you.”
“I’m not a huge Team Dean fan ATM but I know if I were in your shoes, he’d die trying to save me. I could say the same about anyone in my family.”
“So it must sting to know you can’t even trust your sister.”
“Your sister who will be at ring side this week.”
“Along with my brother.”
“And while you’re wondering if you’ve truly peaked you’ll also have to wonder if Brooklyn will remain in your corner if the shit hits the fan. You’ll have to wonder if the rest of the Murder is really done with this crusade. You’ll have to wonder just how good I can possibly become.”
“That’s a lot to have on your mind with a World title shot on the line.”
“Me?”
“I won’t be wondering about anything. I won’t be questioning anyone. I know I’m only getting better. Win, lose or draw, I know my skills are improving.”
“I know my best is yet to come.”
I feel my confidence rising.
”I’m not going to waste this chance I’ve been given. I didn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it but it doesn't change the fact that I have it. This is my sixth match as a professional wrestler and it’s for a shot at the biggest championship in the entire world.”
“The IWF Women’s World Championship is second to none.”
“Yeah, the boys have had some cool champions but the women?”
“Fucking legendary.”
“So I’m not planning on letting this slip through my fingers. I’m not going to allow myself to recover on the outside of the ring while someone else forges their future. I’m not going to lose my way into another title match.”
“I’m going to earn it.”
I nod.
”Because legendary is what I want to become. I don’t know if you’re complacent being in Brooklyn’s shadow and I’d never accuse you of that. But me? I didn’t become a professional wrestler to be Shelly and Angel’s daughter, Dean and Sabin’s sister.”
“I became a professional wrestler to be a champion.”
“To be THE champion.”
“To be and become someone more than who I was born as.”
“Why are you here? Who do you want to be? What will you become? And who is going to be there to cheer you on? Who is really in your corner?”
I know I shouldn’t feel this confident after October Revolution but I do. I feel like I can do anything.
”Who are you if not Brooklyn’s sister?”
I shrug again.
”Yeah, we don’t know either. So let’s find out, April. Forget the Murder, forget Dean, forget Brooklyn. Let’s bring this whole thing back to basics. Just two people fighting for a chance to become a champion.”
“To see who’s better.”
“Me or you. Let’s find out.”
*Imperial March plays*
She just won’t quit!
Isn’t it enough that I share my location with her!? Do I really need to check in every single hour of every single day!?
GOD!
You’d think after 24 hours she’d get the idea, I’m not interested in hearing how much she thinks I suck! I already got it, I lost, big deal. It’s not like I was the one taking the pin, why is she so obsessed with making me feel bad about it!
And her voice mails! It’s like she’s bi-polar. One message is about the loss and the next is about April and my huge opportunity. She can’t even decide what she wants to bust my ass about. She just wants to bust my ass…
Fuck…
*Gateways plays*
Dad…
I never called him earlier. I should’ve.
”Hey…”
”Tara, Damien, Edward and I are sitting down to watch Halloween, the original, would you like to Zoom in?”
He doesn't want to discuss the match? Thank god.
”Yeah, let me pull it up on my laptop. Give me a minute.”
”Take all the time you need...”
I smile. I know he was responding to what I said but it feels like he didn’t just mean about the movie.
"I'm ready."
"I know."
She just won’t quit!
Isn’t it enough that I share my location with her!? Do I really need to check in every single hour of every single day!?
GOD!
You’d think after 24 hours she’d get the idea, I’m not interested in hearing how much she thinks I suck! I already got it, I lost, big deal. It’s not like I was the one taking the pin, why is she so obsessed with making me feel bad about it!
And her voice mails! It’s like she’s bi-polar. One message is about the loss and the next is about April and my huge opportunity. She can’t even decide what she wants to bust my ass about. She just wants to bust my ass…
Fuck…
*Gateways plays*
Dad…
I never called him earlier. I should’ve.
”Hey…”
”Tara, Damien, Edward and I are sitting down to watch Halloween, the original, would you like to Zoom in?”
He doesn't want to discuss the match? Thank god.
”Yeah, let me pull it up on my laptop. Give me a minute.”
”Take all the time you need...”
I smile. I know he was responding to what I said but it feels like he didn’t just mean about the movie.
"I'm ready."
"I know."
Well howdy there pardner.