Way of the Drums (TDH promo)

[Nate Harris]

The three members of Team Diversity Hire sat in the hotel room that Pax was staying in. The girls were out doing whatever they were doing. They had spent the day training for the latest tag team match and were now all sprawled out on the couch together. They had some cheat day snacks and a pizza on the end table in front of them.

On the TV in front of them, they had a random horror movie playing, “Grave Encounters” as they had already watched Blood Quantum earlier in the week. Pax sat on the left and Nate on the right with Jack sitting casually in the middle.

Jack and Pax were both being more low-key, finding themselves just watching the movie while Nate was jumping and yelling.

“God fucking damn it! Nah, fuck that bitch!” Nate yelled.

Pax and Jack laughed.

“I think this breaks your personal record for jump scares.” Jack teased.

“Man, fuck you.”

“Not while I’m here, please.” Pax teased.

As the movie intensifies, the three exchange shock and disbelief at the characters’ choices.

Jack shakes his head at one scene and mutters, “If they’d just listened to the warnings.”

“Hell, one if at least one non white person on this crew…What is this movie?” Nate scuffed.

“It’s Ghost Adventures. But like… not.” Pax pointed out.

“Fuck, I miss watching Ghost Adventures.”

The night carries on with more laughs, casual commentary, and a few shouts during jump scares. By the end, when the credits roll, Nate and Jack are snuggled up on one side of the couch while Pax is half-asleep with an empty bowl on his lap. As Nate stifles a yawn, Jack leans down, resting his forehead against Nate’s with a soft smile.

Pax notices groans dramatically, and says, “Time for you to crash.”

The three burst into laughter, with Nate replying, “Could we just crash here. Have a cuddle pile and Charlotte can join us.”

“Say No. He steals blankets.”

Pax grins, and with that, they begin to clean up, joking and recapping the movie’s best (and worst) moments, already planning the next horror night together.

---

The camera comes on to Jack, Pax and Nate leaning up against a wall with art done by a local indigenous artist.

“What up neechies, it’s ya bois!” Pax grinned.

“What’s FUCKING GOOD? Nah, for real, what is fucking good IWF?”

“Nice to be on camera again.” Jack smiled.

“You know your boys are ready to fucking go. We got us in the main even of the goddamn show. You know it’s gonna be the best match for more then just that. I know we got Charlotte and Rini out in a tag team match. I know Natasha got herself a triple threat match to get to Survival of the fittest..”

“Good luck girls! Power of…like friendship or whatever.”

“But you know I got to talk about the three of us. You know the fucking crowd is ready for us to rep the faction that been slept on. You know we got a lot to ride high about. We got Pax, the World Champion getting a sneak peek on two of the men steppin’ up to him that want to get their hands on that fucking gold. We got me, the Gladiator champion ready to see what that motherfucker who be speaking to the esibanto and see what he got under the hood. And we got Jack. The hidden secret that management only books when they got nothing else to do. Which a fucking crime but I’ll let that go.”

“I’m doing okay. I would love to be booked more but supporting my boys is okay. I’m not some green-eyed fucking monster. I can support the gold Nate and Pax get.”

“Ya champ has been asking for competition and they finally done give it to me, and with my bois too? Come on. Shit is gonna be lit. I feel sorry for ya’ll cause we are gonna go to work on you. The best damn three man team that this company got? Ya’ll know we gonna tear the damn roof off. Trust. But enough self hype. You know who we is. Time to address who can catch these fine indigenous hands. Stoodis.”

“Can I start off by saying why in the year of our lord 2024 is this racist ass gimmick still being employed?”

“Nate-“

“No, fuck stepping around some motherfucker’s feelings. It wasn’t funny in 2016 and it sure as shit isn’t funny now. A white guy putting on a lucha mask and speaking shitty Spanish is racist. Just because you’re not pulling out the talking points doesn’t make it less racist. It’s fucking racist. It’s unfunny and it’s fucking stupid. At least Mr Happy doesn’t have us have to pretend to ignore how fucking tasteless and cheap it is. Grande malo and his whole fuckin’ shit is racist and boring. Get some new material and shut the fuck up. Only people who like your shit is Gilmore and we all know how racist that asshole is. Get your fucking shit together.”

“Feel better?”

“No. Fuck grande malo. Fuck the whole mess. And fuck management for allowing it. Just like they only fined Daniels for that racist behavior he does and all his slurs. You say you are a better company then fucking put your money where your mouth is Verona. Jesus fuck. But no, one little fine and fast track his ass to the pay per view. We get unbooked from tag team contests because I have a title and Pax has a title. Never mind that never held any other tag team or faction back ever. Nah, fuck us right? So you can book the stepford wife and the bigot.”

“Malo, you and your group? Fucked up thing is that you could be funny, and you could be great. But the shit that’s funny and great about you ain’t got nothing to do with… whatever it is you got goin on. Do better man.”

“Okay…. I don’t disagree with what Nate said about Malo and his crew. I think it’s a lot more diet racism then straight-up white-hood racism. I think homie just like thinks it’s funny. Because he doesn’t know any better and no one sat him down and explained it. Doesn’t make it okay. Still problematic as fuck.”

“Which brings us to the other side. What up boys? What it do. Let’s start with the person who brown nosed so hard he got himself a title shot. Someone so delusional he thinks that he can actually hang in the ring with me. What up Caleb, who do Verona’s boots be tasting on this fine evening?

I’ve already talked about how you showed promise Caleb. You could actually make something of yourself. But instead of actually putting in the work, you decided you’d become Berto’s little groupie. And why not. Get you jumped right to the front of the line. Only problem is that the best god damned technical wrestler in this company is waiting for you at the other end. Do you deserve this shot at me? Hell no you don’t. But fuck it. Step up Caleb. Cause this only ends one way. With me dropping you on your dome and you counting the lights in the arena.”

“Assuming Canin actually sticks around.” Nate scuffs. “Nah, homie shows up for the fuckin’ title matches and basically sleep walks his way through the rest of his bookings. A fucking part-timer at fucking best. He don’t deserve the fucking spot he got in the world title scene. He’s a punk ass bitch.”

“I’ll admit the fact that dude who just bailed last time he got beaten in the big match just gets a shot at the world title pisses me off. Like that’s just fucking weak sauce. Why does he get to jump back into the main event? I dont want to assume its just because he bends the knee to Roberto but It’s hard not to think it’s corrupt as shit. It’s sus. You really feeling good just swinging into the match you haven’t earned? Couldn’t be me.”

“So what up Chaney.

So I’m gonna be real with you, my man. I spent months pissed as hell at you. Really seething about it. I was ready to let loose and come at you. That shit you were slinging about how no one helped you. No one cared. That we were all scared of the boss? That pissed me the fuck off bro. Cause I had your back. I bled for you man. Hell the entire reason you got that briefcase in your hand instead of me could very well be because I backed your fucking play against Verona. And then ya turned around and spat in my face about it. Said it didn’t count cause you couldn’t keep your focus on business. So ya, I was ready to throw fuckin hands.

I mean now I get it. You wanted to fight your own battle. You wanted to make sure there were no excuses when you got your win. I said I respect it, and I do.

Course now I got a target on my back, knowing that someday, somewhere I’m facing down you. I’d like to think you’d do the right thing. That you’d come out and call your shot so we can have a fucking banger that everyone would pay all the money they could to see. But truth is, it might not. That briefcase of yours says that you can call your shot whenever you want it. Could be at the end of this match. Could come after Survival of the Fittest after I’ve gone to war with three other dudes. I’d be lying if I said I don’t take that seriously. You are legit Allen. I’ve enjoyed the hell outta fighting you every chance I’ve gotten and you damn well I wanna square up with you in the middle of the ring. Just me and you. Really blow it off. Two of the hottest fucking stars in this company. Gives ya chills.”

“Allen…Bro where you been? You went through all that hell and shit to get your shit cleared and get the paperwork and then you just went fucking quiet. What the fuck is that? You were talking that big shit. Now just radio silent? You good homie? You got family shit happening? Your girl good? If its all been kosher and chill then why the fuck did you disappear? Is it Roberto? He shaft you like he shafts Jack?”

“Nate, come on man…”

“What? I’m not allowed to advocate for you? Regardless. You got that briefcase. You cashing in soon? This a test run to see if you want to? You know Pax is fucking ready for anything. But in this match you got to worry about the power hungry fucking Caleb and you got to worry about us. You might not think much about me and Jack as back up but we are pretty fucking legit. I ain’t got nothing against you but I don’t got nothing for you neither. I cried a while about no one backing you. Man, you been in this company long as I have you know making enemies of the guy who signs your check for someone that might not be here in a few months don’t make no fucking sense. Sorry not sorry, I got to protect my bread.”

“Mercenary.”

“I’m honest. As for Ollie, man you got…a lot going on. I don’t get all of it and a lot of it seems like you might need to up your dosage. But the raccoon thing is a wild idea. I mean shit, let you freaky thing go. We got ex-demon cultists why not a bro who speaks to animals. Why not? I think you and I got a dance later on. Be interesting to see how your shit works. But I know you got talent in that 10 pounds of crazy in a 3-ounce bucket. So go for it. Let loose. I want to see what you can do. I get you and Allen are boys from some time back. Be cool to see how that shit goes. Been a time before me and mine had to fight a tag team that was a united front.”

”I’ll admit I didn’t help Allen when he was getting his shit kicked in. That was…mostly me being a bitter jerk and I’m sorry about that. When Tytus and Cyrus decided I was what was for dinner no one helped me. No one said shit. When Cyrus was throwing racial and homophobic slurs our way no one helped us. So I was kinda feeling..why should I help anyone else? It was wrong. My bad. But you beat Verona. You meant him and got the briefcase. But like…you also quit? So is this match legit? I’m super confused on how this works. Does Allen even work here anymore?”

“I assume he does.”

“Okay. Well, you got a lot of bigger things on your mind. You might see this as a waste of time. But know we are coming at this with everything we got. This isn’t a time to show boat. This is a time to work. You’re in a tag team so you know we got to do what we got to do to keep our boys safe.” Jack takes a beat.

“What up Ollie. You dealin with some heavy shit. I can’t pretend that I know anything about that. I got my own problems I’m dealin with but I can’t pretend that they are anywhere the same man. I hope you getting the help you need. You strong as fuck though for facing what you do. Real warrior shit. You also came here to help out your boy. Trust that I understand that. So far as I’m concerned we cool. You also go to work in that ring. I fucking love to see what you can do and I am hype as fuck to share that space with you. Been looking forward to it. You got a crazy ariel offensive and you got the skill to throw hands to back it up. I ain’t takin this shit lightly. But I know you know that if I get my hands on you I’m gonna twist you up like a pretzel and I don’t know if you got the skills to handle that.”

Pax pauses for a beat.

“I dunno about that Racoon though. Like is that a gimmick or is he givin you that good medicine? This some trickster ass shit here? Makes me nervous, I’m not gonna lie.”

“Okay but I need a Rocky the raccoon plushie like yesterday.”

“Jack, we talked about this.”

“Babe, you promise.”

“No, I know. Listen, I don’t know Ollie personally. But I am a fan of the whole vibe. Seriously. Like, I get the mental health issues. I get battling your inner demons while also trying to battle the outer ones in the ring. The Raccoon is fucking adorable. He’s kind of my favorite. I just…I can’t hate you Ollie. Part of it…is because…you know…” Jack takes a breath, “So something that I wasn’t open with at the time and something I still…struggle with. I mean, mental illness never goes away. You just…adapt. Hi, My name is Jack Ferriman and I have dissociative identity disorder. I manage it better than I used to. It’s…it’s not a curable thing. I have lots of therapy and we throw some meds at it. Sometimes I still have…moments where something happened and I don’t know what. But I’m getting there. I am great treatment and I am managing much better. So I get Ollie. I empathize. And I’ve been there. I appreciate you and your openness. Now, part of that might be your untreated and undiagnosed. And ho boy, I remember rawdogging reality like that. It’s not…it’s not great. But I’m here for you man. Beating you in this match is not gonna be about shitting on you. It’s just business. You got talent and you got demons. It’s okay. This is a match and I think you are gonna do great in this company. Maybe not in the match specifically. But in general.”

“Point being…Dem boys comin' back to town. Dem boys gonna knock 'em down. Dem boys gonna set some rules, DEM BOYS GONNA SMOKE SOME FOOLS! You know what we want! We want a goddamn shot at the tag team belts. You know GODdamn well. I'm gonna be real, though. This match? This match is unfair. And if nobody else gonna say something about it, I'm gonna. The people deserve that much. This match? This trios match we got going on here on Sacrifice? This is a sham. This is a travesty. This is a JOKE. Because y'all took three men with talent, with athleticism, with the skill on the fucking mic, men with all the hunger in the world, and you pulled them all together in a pile. You made them work together, and you put them up against a rare thing in this company. You put them up against a united trio. A three-man rush, a triple-team, a well-oiled machine. Pax is the brother from the headwaters I never knew I had, and there are only so many times y'all can hear me say that Jack is my boyfriend, my boy, the call to my response. Also three racist fucks in a mask. And this match? We gonna blow the motherfucking roof off it!”

Pax, Nate and Jack thump their fists into their chest and flash two fingers.

“Peace Out.”

The feed cuts out on the final image.