Post by Cable Arcane on May 28, 2013 18:58:05 GMT
His laughter carries on the wind like a hoarse cackle. I look around myself but I do not see him, I can only hear him. The sound of his laughter is deafening, frustrating, maddening...
I hate him...
More than anyone I have ever known...
I hate him for what he tried to make me...
Like a crow he swoops down out of the shadows, a large black shadow with wings like a demon. He tries to envelop me. I try to run. There is no escaping him. No escaping his form of torture or torment. He wishes to punish me for my failure on Monday. He wishes to hurt me. To show me through pain where I could have improved.
I trip while running from him, I fall. My face and hands crash against the soft soil of the earth and I see now that I am laying in a grave. He stands over me, his eyes glowing red, a shovel in his hands, ready to bury his failed experiment...
I claw at the sides of the grave. I pull and pull with nothing but clumps of dirt in my hands to show for my effort. He laughs as he begins to fill in the grave. Shovel fulls of dirt crash down on top of me. I look up at him, at his white face, his red eyes, his demon wings. I look up and ask myself how I could be related to this man? To this monster?
The grave is now filled to my neck as he drops down on his knees. He wraps his talons around my throat and begins to choke me. I can barely draw a breathe as he squeezes tighter and tighter. His talons tearing the flesh of my neck. I gasp for breathe. Slowly his form begins to change. The wings vanish, his claws become more like hands and it is now that I see I am staring up at myself...
At the monster he once made me into...
I laugh as I choke...
I close my eyes and pray for this nightmare to be over because that's all this can possibly be...
My grip gets tighter and tighter and tighter. This isn't a dream. I'm really choking. I'm really gagging. I can feel the life slipping from me and then quite suddenly my eyes open... Gjenrei stands before me, my hands in his as he has just pried them from my neck...
"Are you ok?"
I take a moment to compose myself, unsure if the answer I give will be the truth or not.
"I'll be fine."
He doesn't believe me. We've trained together long enough now that he knows when I am lying.
"We've been booked separately this week."
Gjenrei isn't a man of many emotions but this doesn't seem to please him.
"They've given you a different partner, an odd choice, he is one half of another team."
"Probably someone's attempt at creating drama within the tag team division."
"Perhaps. Regardless, we both need to prepare ourselves."
I just nod. I'm not in the mood to train right now and he can see that. However, he doesn't tolerate weakness, neither do I, which is why I need to purge myself of whatever caused that hellish dream. Gjenrei gets the point and takes his leave of me...
I find one of the many men with cameras who like to document our lives and I invite him in. He stands behind me and to the side as I face the mirror, allowing you to see both me and my reflection at the same time.
"No one is more disappointed in my performance last week than myself. However it's a new week. New opponents and apparently a new partner."
I sneer at that last bit.
"Kingsley, I'm going to make one thing clear to you right here and right now, you carry your weight in this match. Period. You carry your weight, you make the tags when they need to be made and I promise you that you will leave the ring with your honor intact. You will be able to leave with your head up high as opposed to separated from your shoulders."
I feel something inside me become excited at the thought, almost hoping Kingsley lets me down.
"I'm not threatening you, Stephen, far from it. I'm telling you how it's going to be. Either you will work with me to defeat the James Gang or you won't and if you don't I can promise you will have the worst night of your entire wrestling career to date."
The man in the mirror stares back more intensely with each passing moment. His chest heaves with the rising adrenaline. He's ready for a fight now, not later.
"I feel like I got off on the wrong foot last week. That match, the whole thing from beginning to end, for me was an embarrassment. That isn't who I am or what I'm about. You see, it would be easy for me to stand here and tell Lucas and Roman how much I would enjoy just breaking them down physically and mentally before ripping them to pieces entirely. It would be easy to tell you exactly how badly I want to hear them beg for mercy as I crack every single bone in their body one at a time. It would be easy to talk about my desire to see their blood drained from their bodies in gallons all over the mat as I stand above them victorious... It would be easy to show you exactly what kind of monster I could be..."
I let out a long sigh, releasing all the anger that was building inside me through out that statement.
"The easiness with which one can embrace evil is why I refuse to do it. It's easy to be evil. It's easy to ignore the rules and do what it takes to gain victory. It's easy to live your life without honor, without morals, without any filter. Too easy. Once I lived that way. Once I allowed myself to be twisted and corrupted by a man I thought cared about me. A man I thought had my best interests at heart. But this man lacked honor and conviction. He lacked any real sense of self. His only concern was quenching his thirst for blood. And when he became unable to spread his unholy form of terror he looked to me to continue his legacy. I refuse to be that legacy. I refuse to live my life by his terms. I stand here before you today a man who knows what I want and how I will attain it."
The resolve in the reflection is evident.
"I want to be known as the single best wrestler to ever set foot in a ring. I will attain that by working harder than those around me and eventually, be it today, tomorrow or years from now, I will be known as the best. I will be respected. And I will have done that with my honor intact. I will stand before you, one of the few to not sacrifice himself in the making of his legacy. So many men enter this business as virtuous beings and end their careers as hollow shells of their former selves. That's what I see when I look at the James Gang. I see two honorable men. I see two men who want to be the best at any cost. Men who are perfect the way they are but through failure and desire they will lose themselves. They will give over what makes them who they are so that they can become what they wish to be. They will lose their honor and with it any chance at being respected and when the curtain closes on the James Gang they will be but a reflection."
I turn my back on the man in the mirror and step fully in front of the camera so that all you can see is me.
"I will not lose myself in this match. I will not take the easy road to defeat you. I will stand before the two of you, I will shake your hands before the match, I will wish you luck and then once that bell rings I will be unrelenting. I will give you everything I have to give. I will do my best to bring you down. To hurt you. To bring you right to your pain threshold and then I will put you down. The bell will ring. A victor declared. And I will shake your hands again and thank you for a tremendous match. However, Lucas, Roman, I expect you to approach this match with all the same Honor and Dignity that I am. I expect you to respect me as I respect you. I expect you to do the right thing. If you falter, if you decide that being Honorable is too hard, and if you chose to become just like everyone else. If you decide to become just another piece of garbage, I will treat you as such."
Still sneering, I feel a smirk begin to break through.
"I have no respect for the dishonorable. I have no patience for them. No concern for their well being. The only thing I feel for those who take the easy path is disdain. They are more rodents than men, feasting on the trash left behind by the true gods of this business. And they do not deserve the respect of someone such as myself. Someone who holds wrestling in such high regard. Once I counted myself among their rank. Once I looked down on men who spoke of honor in wrestling and I made a grave mistake. I was taught more than once what it means to believe in this business, what it means to fight for something. That's why I have found my new purpose, my new path, and I will fight for it harder than anyone you have ever seen."
I can feel the camera zoom in, it's watchful eye just like my brother's keeping track of my every move.
"Lucas, Roman, I will face you with honor and with respect but between those bells there is one thing I will not have..."
His laughter still rings in my head as I can hear his voice say in time with mine...
"Mercy."
I move past the man with camera, ready to alleviate some of my frustration on a heavy bag. However the voice of my brother, his words exiting my mouth, his shadow looming over me still disturbs me. I know I'm not the man I was anymore but I don't think that matters to him and I wonder how long before he lets me know...
How long before I have to face this demon...
I hate him...
More than anyone I have ever known...
I hate him for what he tried to make me...
Like a crow he swoops down out of the shadows, a large black shadow with wings like a demon. He tries to envelop me. I try to run. There is no escaping him. No escaping his form of torture or torment. He wishes to punish me for my failure on Monday. He wishes to hurt me. To show me through pain where I could have improved.
I trip while running from him, I fall. My face and hands crash against the soft soil of the earth and I see now that I am laying in a grave. He stands over me, his eyes glowing red, a shovel in his hands, ready to bury his failed experiment...
I claw at the sides of the grave. I pull and pull with nothing but clumps of dirt in my hands to show for my effort. He laughs as he begins to fill in the grave. Shovel fulls of dirt crash down on top of me. I look up at him, at his white face, his red eyes, his demon wings. I look up and ask myself how I could be related to this man? To this monster?
The grave is now filled to my neck as he drops down on his knees. He wraps his talons around my throat and begins to choke me. I can barely draw a breathe as he squeezes tighter and tighter. His talons tearing the flesh of my neck. I gasp for breathe. Slowly his form begins to change. The wings vanish, his claws become more like hands and it is now that I see I am staring up at myself...
At the monster he once made me into...
I laugh as I choke...
I close my eyes and pray for this nightmare to be over because that's all this can possibly be...
My grip gets tighter and tighter and tighter. This isn't a dream. I'm really choking. I'm really gagging. I can feel the life slipping from me and then quite suddenly my eyes open... Gjenrei stands before me, my hands in his as he has just pried them from my neck...
"Are you ok?"
I take a moment to compose myself, unsure if the answer I give will be the truth or not.
"I'll be fine."
He doesn't believe me. We've trained together long enough now that he knows when I am lying.
"We've been booked separately this week."
Gjenrei isn't a man of many emotions but this doesn't seem to please him.
"They've given you a different partner, an odd choice, he is one half of another team."
"Probably someone's attempt at creating drama within the tag team division."
"Perhaps. Regardless, we both need to prepare ourselves."
I just nod. I'm not in the mood to train right now and he can see that. However, he doesn't tolerate weakness, neither do I, which is why I need to purge myself of whatever caused that hellish dream. Gjenrei gets the point and takes his leave of me...
I find one of the many men with cameras who like to document our lives and I invite him in. He stands behind me and to the side as I face the mirror, allowing you to see both me and my reflection at the same time.
"No one is more disappointed in my performance last week than myself. However it's a new week. New opponents and apparently a new partner."
I sneer at that last bit.
"Kingsley, I'm going to make one thing clear to you right here and right now, you carry your weight in this match. Period. You carry your weight, you make the tags when they need to be made and I promise you that you will leave the ring with your honor intact. You will be able to leave with your head up high as opposed to separated from your shoulders."
I feel something inside me become excited at the thought, almost hoping Kingsley lets me down.
"I'm not threatening you, Stephen, far from it. I'm telling you how it's going to be. Either you will work with me to defeat the James Gang or you won't and if you don't I can promise you will have the worst night of your entire wrestling career to date."
The man in the mirror stares back more intensely with each passing moment. His chest heaves with the rising adrenaline. He's ready for a fight now, not later.
"I feel like I got off on the wrong foot last week. That match, the whole thing from beginning to end, for me was an embarrassment. That isn't who I am or what I'm about. You see, it would be easy for me to stand here and tell Lucas and Roman how much I would enjoy just breaking them down physically and mentally before ripping them to pieces entirely. It would be easy to tell you exactly how badly I want to hear them beg for mercy as I crack every single bone in their body one at a time. It would be easy to talk about my desire to see their blood drained from their bodies in gallons all over the mat as I stand above them victorious... It would be easy to show you exactly what kind of monster I could be..."
I let out a long sigh, releasing all the anger that was building inside me through out that statement.
"The easiness with which one can embrace evil is why I refuse to do it. It's easy to be evil. It's easy to ignore the rules and do what it takes to gain victory. It's easy to live your life without honor, without morals, without any filter. Too easy. Once I lived that way. Once I allowed myself to be twisted and corrupted by a man I thought cared about me. A man I thought had my best interests at heart. But this man lacked honor and conviction. He lacked any real sense of self. His only concern was quenching his thirst for blood. And when he became unable to spread his unholy form of terror he looked to me to continue his legacy. I refuse to be that legacy. I refuse to live my life by his terms. I stand here before you today a man who knows what I want and how I will attain it."
The resolve in the reflection is evident.
"I want to be known as the single best wrestler to ever set foot in a ring. I will attain that by working harder than those around me and eventually, be it today, tomorrow or years from now, I will be known as the best. I will be respected. And I will have done that with my honor intact. I will stand before you, one of the few to not sacrifice himself in the making of his legacy. So many men enter this business as virtuous beings and end their careers as hollow shells of their former selves. That's what I see when I look at the James Gang. I see two honorable men. I see two men who want to be the best at any cost. Men who are perfect the way they are but through failure and desire they will lose themselves. They will give over what makes them who they are so that they can become what they wish to be. They will lose their honor and with it any chance at being respected and when the curtain closes on the James Gang they will be but a reflection."
I turn my back on the man in the mirror and step fully in front of the camera so that all you can see is me.
"I will not lose myself in this match. I will not take the easy road to defeat you. I will stand before the two of you, I will shake your hands before the match, I will wish you luck and then once that bell rings I will be unrelenting. I will give you everything I have to give. I will do my best to bring you down. To hurt you. To bring you right to your pain threshold and then I will put you down. The bell will ring. A victor declared. And I will shake your hands again and thank you for a tremendous match. However, Lucas, Roman, I expect you to approach this match with all the same Honor and Dignity that I am. I expect you to respect me as I respect you. I expect you to do the right thing. If you falter, if you decide that being Honorable is too hard, and if you chose to become just like everyone else. If you decide to become just another piece of garbage, I will treat you as such."
Still sneering, I feel a smirk begin to break through.
"I have no respect for the dishonorable. I have no patience for them. No concern for their well being. The only thing I feel for those who take the easy path is disdain. They are more rodents than men, feasting on the trash left behind by the true gods of this business. And they do not deserve the respect of someone such as myself. Someone who holds wrestling in such high regard. Once I counted myself among their rank. Once I looked down on men who spoke of honor in wrestling and I made a grave mistake. I was taught more than once what it means to believe in this business, what it means to fight for something. That's why I have found my new purpose, my new path, and I will fight for it harder than anyone you have ever seen."
I can feel the camera zoom in, it's watchful eye just like my brother's keeping track of my every move.
"Lucas, Roman, I will face you with honor and with respect but between those bells there is one thing I will not have..."
His laughter still rings in my head as I can hear his voice say in time with mine...
"Mercy."
I move past the man with camera, ready to alleviate some of my frustration on a heavy bag. However the voice of my brother, his words exiting my mouth, his shadow looming over me still disturbs me. I know I'm not the man I was anymore but I don't think that matters to him and I wonder how long before he lets me know...
How long before I have to face this demon...
Well howdy there pardner.