Post by Angel Blake on Mar 10, 2014 20:46:12 GMT
Amber sat with her back to me at the edge of the bed, her head down, raven black hair falling around her shoulders, eyes locked on the black t-shirt in her hands, my t-shirt. She’d been abnormally quiet ever since…
Tara…
Her fingers squeezed the shirt tight as I placed my hand on her shoulder, our eyes met in the mirror across from her bed…
She looked so young, so innocent, her skin pale and smooth standing out against the black spaghetti straps of her top, something about the sight of her made my heart race and then I would remember…
Tara…
And my heart would sink…
I looked away, averted my eyes, I wanted to tell her I loved her but I feared..
No, I don’t fear anything…
I just wanted to mean it when I said, I wanted have her believe it when she heard it.
”Daddy! Ms Amber!”
Our quiet moment thankfully interrupted by the sweet voice of my eight year old daughter, I hadn’t seen her in months and now here she was bouncing up and down on our bed, dark down hair a tangled mess about her and blue eyes bright with love, Amber mock tackled her down and tickled her.
”I’m gonna get you!”
”No I’m gonna get you!”
Hayleigh wormed her way free and got around behind amber’s back and tickled the under side of her arms.
Amber looked so happy as she played with my child.
”I’m the tickle monster!!!”
”Ahhh!! Oh no!”
Amber fell back and pulled my daughter into her arms, the two of them laughing the whole time as I stood back simply watching, wondering, trying to decide how all of this made me feel and suddenly I realized the only thing I felt was…
Nothing.
Empty.
Dead inside.
”So Ms. Hayleigh, what do you want for lunch today?”
”Mac and cheese! Mac and cheese!”
”No way!? Mac and cheese is my favorite!”
”Yay!!!”
Hayleigh leaped off the bed and landed on her feet, her light up sneakers reflecting off the walls as she bolted into the hall way, the Batgirl cape on the back of her black hoodie flying behind her as she goes…
Amber stood up and walked to the door.
”Amber…”
She stopped, half turning to look at me over her shoulder.
”She… Loves you.”
She smiled back at me, she looked truly happy and wore the face of someone deeply in love, I wish I could feel the same…
Something about her eyes caught my attention, something behind them and I wondered…
Did she know?
And if she did what would I do?
”Of course she does, we’re a family, Angel .”
Family..
”Amber…”
What would I do to her if she knew about Tara?
”You know I love you, right?”
She smiled and for a moment the doubt faded from her eyes, she looked again like the sweet girl who once asked me to train her, the one I fell in…
She wrapped her arms around me tightly, squeezing me like she squeezed the shirt, I could feel her heart beating through her chest, she wanted this to be real, she needed this to be her family, to be a part of me…
The boy was here.
I could see him in the mirror behind us and my body tensed, she sensed it and pulled away, the doubt returned to her eyes…
Suddenly she was gone and I was left with the young reflection in the mirror wearing his Sunday best as I waited for his condescending question but it did not come…
He just stood there and stared, his eyes boring into me, I thought I could almost feel the pressure of them against my chest…
”What do you want?”
He did not answer, he did not move, he did not so much as blink.
”Do you want me to see what I’ve lost? The innocence that he took away? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?”
I shouted, lost control, I stepped back and collapsed on the bed feeling so weak suddenly…
”Stand there then and watch as I become something greater than father could of ever imagined.”
His eyes followed me as I walked by but I didn’t pay him anymore attention, let the boy watch as I burn this world down and craft another in my image.
Let him watch as darkness falls and heroes die…
Watch because that is the only thing he or anyone else can do.
”Daddy?”
”Angel?”
They looked concerned as I breezed by, did they hear me scream at the empty reflection or was it all in my head?
”I’ll be back, there’s something I need to do…”
I avoided their questions…
My mind raced as my foot pressed the gas pedal all the way to the floor…
I lost control…
I must get it back…
I found myself on a familiar road in a dank part of town, young men and women selling their bodies for a little bit of cash and self depreciation…
I stopped in front of a young woman with poorly dyed red hair, her dress left little to the imagination but I didn’t need to imagine what I was about to do to her.
”Get in.”
The image fades as we disappear into the night…
”You don’t actually think you can win do you?”
My question drifts over the air waves, slinks into your ear drum, crawls down the ear canal where the sinister tinge in my voice sends a small shiver down your spine.
”Forgive the sound of arrogance in my voice…”
“This is imply a match you are incapable of winning…”
“The second I stepped forward…”
“All hope was lost.
Hope…
”Each of you clambers over the other…”
“Making your false promises…”
“Idle threats…”
“In the end you’re all just nipping at my boot heels struggling to breath beneath my awesome might.”
Something they say every man needs…
”You hem and haw…”
“Scream and yell…”
“You point your fingers and stomp your feet…”
“And it will get you no where once you’re inside that ring with me.”
Hope is something that cannot survive long in this business.
”All twenty nine of you have the same thing in common…”
“False hope…”
“Each of you is more delusional than the last…”
“Do not lie to yourselves or the fans who pay their hard earned money to watch us bleed, not a one of you ever stood a chance.”
Hope gets squandered and squashed.
”It is beyond ridiculous to keep up the façade of competition…”
“None of you are competition for me…”
“None of you can stand up to God…”
“You are but men.”
Hope gets wasted on the weak.
”Men with egos…”
“With flaws…”
“With frailty…”
“Men who stand before the might of God and his vengeful fury as he lays waste to all those foolish to enough to stand in his way.”
There is no room for the weak.
”There was a time when you’d bow before my greatness…”
“When you’d worship the ground I walked on…”
“There was a time you respected me…”
“When you recognized me for the Holy Spirit that I am and basked in my greatness, there was a time none of you would be so foolish to believe you actually could defeat me between those ropes.”
I don’t hope.
”Those days have passed…”
“Now you are all disrespectful insects…”
“Fighting for my table scraps…”
You deny my place above you, deny the crown of thorns about my head, you deny my glory, my greatness, my very presence as a God among you and laughably you hope to survive.”
Hope has no place in my world.
”In the end…”
“Survive…”
“It’s all you can do against me…”
“You may survive long enough to enjoy another sunset or lover’s kiss.”
I don’t hope, I create.
”You may survive to see the dawn…”
“Survive only to wonder…”
“How long can you avoid my gaze?”
“How long can you survive?”
This is my world.
”No warnings…”
“No threats…”
“No bravado…”
“I will cut a bloody path right through the center of the IWF roster and I will claim the IWF Championship as my own simply because I am the GOD of Professional Wrestling and it’s about time I was recognized as such.”
My ring.
”It’s about time…”
“You bowed before me…”
“Or bled before me…”
“Either way the end result is the same, I will be the IWF Champion, I will be seen as the greatest wrestler to ever step foot inside a ring, I will be held above the rest of you where I belong and…”
My Championship.
”I.”
“Will.”
“Be.”
“Feared.”
So now you see it, feel it, everything you have ever hoped for has been for naught because Savior X will finally take what has always been his and all of you are powerless to stop me.
”There will be no Mercy.”
Tara…
Her fingers squeezed the shirt tight as I placed my hand on her shoulder, our eyes met in the mirror across from her bed…
She looked so young, so innocent, her skin pale and smooth standing out against the black spaghetti straps of her top, something about the sight of her made my heart race and then I would remember…
Tara…
And my heart would sink…
I looked away, averted my eyes, I wanted to tell her I loved her but I feared..
No, I don’t fear anything…
I just wanted to mean it when I said, I wanted have her believe it when she heard it.
”Daddy! Ms Amber!”
Our quiet moment thankfully interrupted by the sweet voice of my eight year old daughter, I hadn’t seen her in months and now here she was bouncing up and down on our bed, dark down hair a tangled mess about her and blue eyes bright with love, Amber mock tackled her down and tickled her.
”I’m gonna get you!”
”No I’m gonna get you!”
Hayleigh wormed her way free and got around behind amber’s back and tickled the under side of her arms.
Amber looked so happy as she played with my child.
”I’m the tickle monster!!!”
”Ahhh!! Oh no!”
Amber fell back and pulled my daughter into her arms, the two of them laughing the whole time as I stood back simply watching, wondering, trying to decide how all of this made me feel and suddenly I realized the only thing I felt was…
Nothing.
Empty.
Dead inside.
”So Ms. Hayleigh, what do you want for lunch today?”
”Mac and cheese! Mac and cheese!”
”No way!? Mac and cheese is my favorite!”
”Yay!!!”
Hayleigh leaped off the bed and landed on her feet, her light up sneakers reflecting off the walls as she bolted into the hall way, the Batgirl cape on the back of her black hoodie flying behind her as she goes…
Amber stood up and walked to the door.
”Amber…”
She stopped, half turning to look at me over her shoulder.
”She… Loves you.”
She smiled back at me, she looked truly happy and wore the face of someone deeply in love, I wish I could feel the same…
Something about her eyes caught my attention, something behind them and I wondered…
Did she know?
And if she did what would I do?
”Of course she does, we’re a family, Angel .”
Family..
”Amber…”
What would I do to her if she knew about Tara?
”You know I love you, right?”
She smiled and for a moment the doubt faded from her eyes, she looked again like the sweet girl who once asked me to train her, the one I fell in…
She wrapped her arms around me tightly, squeezing me like she squeezed the shirt, I could feel her heart beating through her chest, she wanted this to be real, she needed this to be her family, to be a part of me…
The boy was here.
I could see him in the mirror behind us and my body tensed, she sensed it and pulled away, the doubt returned to her eyes…
Suddenly she was gone and I was left with the young reflection in the mirror wearing his Sunday best as I waited for his condescending question but it did not come…
He just stood there and stared, his eyes boring into me, I thought I could almost feel the pressure of them against my chest…
”What do you want?”
He did not answer, he did not move, he did not so much as blink.
”Do you want me to see what I’ve lost? The innocence that he took away? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?”
I shouted, lost control, I stepped back and collapsed on the bed feeling so weak suddenly…
”Stand there then and watch as I become something greater than father could of ever imagined.”
His eyes followed me as I walked by but I didn’t pay him anymore attention, let the boy watch as I burn this world down and craft another in my image.
Let him watch as darkness falls and heroes die…
Watch because that is the only thing he or anyone else can do.
”Daddy?”
”Angel?”
They looked concerned as I breezed by, did they hear me scream at the empty reflection or was it all in my head?
”I’ll be back, there’s something I need to do…”
I avoided their questions…
My mind raced as my foot pressed the gas pedal all the way to the floor…
I lost control…
I must get it back…
I found myself on a familiar road in a dank part of town, young men and women selling their bodies for a little bit of cash and self depreciation…
I stopped in front of a young woman with poorly dyed red hair, her dress left little to the imagination but I didn’t need to imagine what I was about to do to her.
”Get in.”
The image fades as we disappear into the night…
”You don’t actually think you can win do you?”
My question drifts over the air waves, slinks into your ear drum, crawls down the ear canal where the sinister tinge in my voice sends a small shiver down your spine.
”Forgive the sound of arrogance in my voice…”
“This is imply a match you are incapable of winning…”
“The second I stepped forward…”
“All hope was lost.
Hope…
”Each of you clambers over the other…”
“Making your false promises…”
“Idle threats…”
“In the end you’re all just nipping at my boot heels struggling to breath beneath my awesome might.”
Something they say every man needs…
”You hem and haw…”
“Scream and yell…”
“You point your fingers and stomp your feet…”
“And it will get you no where once you’re inside that ring with me.”
Hope is something that cannot survive long in this business.
”All twenty nine of you have the same thing in common…”
“False hope…”
“Each of you is more delusional than the last…”
“Do not lie to yourselves or the fans who pay their hard earned money to watch us bleed, not a one of you ever stood a chance.”
Hope gets squandered and squashed.
”It is beyond ridiculous to keep up the façade of competition…”
“None of you are competition for me…”
“None of you can stand up to God…”
“You are but men.”
Hope gets wasted on the weak.
”Men with egos…”
“With flaws…”
“With frailty…”
“Men who stand before the might of God and his vengeful fury as he lays waste to all those foolish to enough to stand in his way.”
There is no room for the weak.
”There was a time when you’d bow before my greatness…”
“When you’d worship the ground I walked on…”
“There was a time you respected me…”
“When you recognized me for the Holy Spirit that I am and basked in my greatness, there was a time none of you would be so foolish to believe you actually could defeat me between those ropes.”
I don’t hope.
”Those days have passed…”
“Now you are all disrespectful insects…”
“Fighting for my table scraps…”
You deny my place above you, deny the crown of thorns about my head, you deny my glory, my greatness, my very presence as a God among you and laughably you hope to survive.”
Hope has no place in my world.
”In the end…”
“Survive…”
“It’s all you can do against me…”
“You may survive long enough to enjoy another sunset or lover’s kiss.”
I don’t hope, I create.
”You may survive to see the dawn…”
“Survive only to wonder…”
“How long can you avoid my gaze?”
“How long can you survive?”
This is my world.
”No warnings…”
“No threats…”
“No bravado…”
“I will cut a bloody path right through the center of the IWF roster and I will claim the IWF Championship as my own simply because I am the GOD of Professional Wrestling and it’s about time I was recognized as such.”
My ring.
”It’s about time…”
“You bowed before me…”
“Or bled before me…”
“Either way the end result is the same, I will be the IWF Champion, I will be seen as the greatest wrestler to ever step foot inside a ring, I will be held above the rest of you where I belong and…”
My Championship.
”I.”
“Will.”
“Be.”
“Feared.”
So now you see it, feel it, everything you have ever hoped for has been for naught because Savior X will finally take what has always been his and all of you are powerless to stop me.
”There will be no Mercy.”
Well howdy there pardner.