Post by Xavier Cross on Mar 13, 2014 23:32:16 GMT
I could sit here, and talk about Spike, Verona, Angel, or anyone at this point. But it doesn’t matter, I can run anyone down the gutter, I can take anyone to town with my tongue, but you can only keep talking shit for so long before it becomes drull. So I need to twist this, I need to look at this from another perspective, I need to look inside, to what really matters.
Xavier Cross, a guy who is never consistent. Says one thing, then says another. Can stay on the right track. So emotional too emotional sometimes. Seems he lets himself get too wrapped up in the moment, in the situation. Sometimes thats not a bad thing, but I’m getting really tired of him talking shit. You’re getting to be boring.
It’s all been said or done before.
Who are you to step back, and point at anyone saying they’re killing this business.
What have you done for this business?
What have you done Xavier Cross?
*****
January 8th, 2014.
Cross paced around an open gym match, watching two young men fighting for control, wrist control, breaking wrist control. Neither one could get an advantage. Cross’s eyes didn’t leave that moment, the battle went back and forth, the african american fighter gets his foot forward, pushing the young caucasian down on his back, but immediately after the impact, the kid was bridging up.
A horn exploded through the gym, as the two boys separated. Cross didn’t change his expression, just nodding his head, the blonde boy takes his headgear off, jogging over to Xavier, a smile on his face.
“He got me, but I didn’t let him pin me…”
Cross tossed the boy a towel.
“Not bad Drew. You’re able to take some punishment, you stood in there with him. But you gotta work on your awareness, he was able to slip that foot in, put you on your back, you never saw it coming.”
Drew scratched the back of his head, looking down a bit.
“That bridge was helluva impressive. Keep that in your back pocket kid, you’ll need it…”
Cross nodded his head, turning a bit.
“Where ya going?”
Cross stopped, but didn’t turn around.
“Visiting an old friend…”
And with that, Drew returned to wrestling practice, as Xavier left for his car.
******
What have I done for this business?
I never gave up, I stumbled a lot, but I kept coming. I put asses in seats, and I bleed for this people. I may not win the big one, but never say that I was never a big one.
I never did this for the money. If I did, I should have been a fucking lawyer.
I never did this for the fame.
But what I have done, is I’ve taken the microscope put on me, and I’ve placed it other places.
Urban youths, no place to go, take the drugs and guns out of their hands, and put a book, or a basketball in it’s place.
I’m gonna put my focus on autism with my son’s recent diagnosis.
Rights…..basic human rights…
Gay Marriage Equality…
All of it…
I’ll use myself as microscope to make real change in this world.
Which is better than any title.
*******
The graveyard was silent, a strong wind took through, leaves scrambled, dancing in the wind. Cross was kneeled at a gravestone, hood pulled over his head, looking down. Javi James etched across the stone. The young man was a basketball rising star, who Cross had helped him come out to his father as gay. His father ended up beating the young man to death.
“Hey man...Drew is getting pretty good at wrestling. Fresh crop of ballers from fifth street. Violence is down in the hood man. We did it. Youth basketball organizations had to form four extra teams. Four...We’re getting ‘em off the streets brother. The local Rainbow Rights group is partnering up with us, having anonymous meetings for youths who don’t know, are confused, or just need someone to talk to….I know...you had such a bright future ahead of yourself Javi…”
Cross pulls the hood down, his face drained of color, tears rushing down his face.
“I shouldn’t...you shouldn’t have did that. We should have waited. He got a life sentence Javi...I can’t help but to think this is my fault...I only wanted to help, and now look at you...You’ve become a beacon of hope, inspiration to those who are afraid, who are confused. But that was with your death. You could have done so much more with your life. A kid who played ball at Missouri, Michael Sam, he’s entering the NFL draft this year, he came out...He faced down the microphones, the flashing camera bulbs, the judgements. He did it…”
Cross puts his hand on the gravestone to stop from shaking.
“You did it….Javi...you were young, but you were one of the best friend I’ve ever had. My life is better having known you. Your death will make others lives easier...I hope one day you can forgive me...I should have protected you. I should have did more...I let you down kid….But I swear to you, no one else gets hurt….”
Cross drops to one knee, leaning his head against the stone. Tears rushing his eyes more, whispering to the stone
“Little...James...he’s autistic...I never saw the signs...I d-don’t know what I’m gonna do Javi...How do I help him...How do I fix him….”
Cross chokes up, closing his eyes. Before realizing something, as he staggers back…
“I said fix him...Like something is wrong with him...He’s not broken...he’s different, but he’s not broken…”
His memories faded to when Javi came out to his father, the disgusted reaction the man had towards his son. Cross would never be that man.
“We don’t have a choice do we Javi, we take the cards we’re dealt, and we play with them...We can’t change who we are, what we have, and who we love...We can only enjoy the life we’re given…”
******
So the next time you want to talk about me, think about this.
What have you done.
I don’t mean titles, or paychecks.
I mean really, what have you done for others. Not yourself, not your family.
But people who need a hand, who need a hope.
We’re fucking heroes to people. We have a grand stage, a bright light, and a microphone. For so long, I did it for myself.
Nah man...Not anymore.
It’s time to pay it back to the people who put me here, it’s time to pay it forward.
We’re all different, and yet, we’re all the same.
Help someone out.
Stand up for someone who can’t stand for themselves.
Don’t judge someone you don’t know.
Equality is Freedom.
So if I walk out of Roulette a winner, it doesn’t matter.
I’ll always keep my head held high, because I’m going to make a difference in this world, and I don’t need a title to do that.
Well howdy there pardner.