Post by Princess on Mar 16, 2014 17:52:03 GMT
So here it is, a week away from my fate. The paths lie before me, yet I am unable to choose. Torn between the title I want, and the shot I NEED. Torn between the logical continuation and the next step. I've effectively destroyed the last man I faced for a title. The man named Mason St. Croix. He's fallen off the radar, fallen into nothingness after being tortured, assaulted, and destroyed by me. I left him nothing, and he couldn't keep going. Honestly, I'm a monster.
Indeed, my child. You're coming to grips with your own cacophony of destroyed lives. Embrace your own true self, the monster.
NO! I don't want this. I want to be myself, to excel. To shove this hypocritical politicking up the anus of all who try to take my pride, my individuality away from me. They all think that I'm just following now. That I'm another symptom of the disease that's in this place. But the truth is, I AM NOT!
Everyone claims they deserve a title shot for the Imperial title, yet...how many truly have the records, or the skills, or the accolades, to award them it? So few actually climb the ladder, they simply want a short-cut to the top. Even Laszlo who says he's "earned" his wins, his shot. He's not been doing so hot, 50/50 win/loss record? Held a title for less than a month before losing it to a man he calls a lesser?
The lord of his own fate is not his lesser. I come with Victorian sensibilities he'd never comprehend. He failed, and he's disgruntled by the entirety of the situation.
So why am I even arguing anymore? I've proven with minimal losses, being undefeated for MONTHS, destroying a man in order to get what I wanted, climbing the logical ascension of the ladder around here. But not a single soul seems to understand the way things work. The politics are the true path to the top. That I am left out of the loop, out of the cycle because I am not a favorite of Verona OR Angel. I am not a fan of either. Both have done me wrong, and they both need to realize the only thing they OWE this place, is a rope to aid Kristoff Liam Bates on his upward ascent beyond these broken rungs.
Disturbingly you're path has been riddled with far less blood than you deserve. You need to execute your business with more visceral tactics, more entropy. This place deserves it, craves it, they want a new experience.
And when you come down to it, it's all...simply...another way to erase the light and drag us down into the darkness of our own souls.
___________________
"John, I'm sorry for...before."
"No Worries, Kris. I understand you're frustrated. This place is politics, and you don't do well with it. I...uh...heard about what you did to Tom."
Deserved it, deserved more. He's nothing to me, just another man who's spent his entire career keeping others down. He's just upset he can't go from upper management to the board. He has spent over a decade trying to get onto the board, but nobody trusts him as CFO, and for good reason. He's just upper management at the glass-ceiling, and I've found a way AROUND him. Just like I always do.
"Kris? Are you ok?"
The room is blurry to me, as we sit, playing Minecraft on my big screen. The Xbox version is not nearly as good as the computer, but it's also a little more "intimate" as less are allowed in servers. We're trying to survive another one of the "Hunger Games" after losing a few to fifteen-year-old cheaters. Diamond swords shouldn't be allowed for these things, and the host seems to play favorites.
"No, John. I'm just...dissatisfied with my life right now. I keep trying to move up, to keep improving myself and my situation, but yet...the systems in place always try to keep the plebeians out. At the company, it's Tom, and the Board. At IWF, it's Angel and Verona constantly battling over who has more "power over the direction"."
I am hit with an arrow, sent back to spawn, and out of the game. A long hard sigh comes out of me as I step away from the controller, the couch, and the screen. Even fun is becoming less...I'm thinking too much on what I want, and how it's being blocked by ignorance. Everyone gets a shot in the Roulette, but I'm only number 5, near the beginning. There are 25 more individuals after me, willing to wear me down and take me out in groups in order to prevent my success. WHY?
He's not your friend, Kristoff. He wants you for other things. Always.
"I'm sorry. Look, they got me too. It's ok. Nobody is really satisfied with their lives anymore. Simply keeping up causes disharmony with our own souls. I'm here for you, if you want."
As he came closer I felt the rage within me rise. The rage against this whole place, the whole situation. I wanted to change EVERYTHING. I wanted things to be FAIR and JUST. You can't get equality without breaking some eggs, without doing the wrong thing over and over to get into a position where you can change things. I'm taking the dirt to my own soul on my way up, and is it worth it? I tug at the collar of my shirt, close my eyes and try to think of other things.
He still wants you, Kristoff. He's not over your rejection. He wants you the way Lance wants Pooler's wife. He wants you how Alice is wanted by Angel. It's all about sex. You're above that, you're not a creature of comforts of the flesh.
"Kris? Are you ok?"
"NO I AM NOT OKAY!" My arms go up as he tries to hold me, and I smack him hard across the face as I am breaking out of the embrace. I feel my rage build, I want to swing. I want to hurt everything around me. I want to build a wall, to shut the world off, to hide. "I am fucking TIRED. Just...go, John...before...before I hurt you again."
"Kris?"
"I will fucking HURT you...GO....NOW!"
I scream loudly, tears are welling up in my eyes as I point to the door. He takes the hint, and slowly grabs his coat. He's crying. I've hurt him. The barbs came up, he wanted to console me and I shut him out, he's hurt. He knows...but he's hurt. I know he knows...it's been...hard since. The lies, the whole mountain of lies that came down on me in the divorce. No children, I have no legacy...nothing...I wanted to rebel, I wanted comfort, I hurt those I cared about.
Fret not about the pain you've caused, think only of redirecting it at those who deserve pain. You can be so much more dangerous if you harness it, focus it, direct it at those who are across the ring from you, those who stand in your path. Like Tom. You took the sheep, and you bit into the soft, fluffy flesh leaving nothing but raw bone and blood.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
__________________________________
"Every last one of you stands in the way to the progress I mean to bring. Angel, Verona, Spike, Laszlo, Ortega, Cross; even Sephiroth. You ALL are in my way."
I am here to help, not in your way. Don't forget who owns you.
"There is nothing I wouldn't do to beat your faces until there was nothing left to identify you when you hit the morgue. Your teeth, broken and chipped and shoved down your throat. Your noses, your bones, broken and displaced. I want to make you all pay for the suffering you give to those who are simply "in the way". I am no HERO. I am a fucking MONSTER. but sometimes MONSTERS can do things with themselves for the betterment of others. They can get away with the dark things needed to make changes. They can take the hatred, they can take the pain, and the solitude, and the punishment. Sometimes you have to be the villain, sometimes you have to simply be the worst kind of filth to make the changes NECESSARY. The lot of you are a SICKNESS. I am the CURE. You itch, you scream, you bleed. All of you will suffer for the things you do to the natural order. The order is not politics. The order is SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. The strongest excel, the weak die. Instead, you make your political bonds, grouping together as a band of rabid wolves to cannibalize on those who don't conform to your list of attributes. You commit genocide to the roster and root out competition for your own purposes. And now...now I've a shot to be hoisted up into the top of the ladder, one simple action, a single win, is all it takes."
Ascend, Kristoff. Take your spot among the legends where you belong. You are the shark, let them know your bite.
"There's not a single day I don't think of what it would feel like to hold the Imperial Championship. Not a SINGLE...DAY. I have tried to get to the top in nCw, but the politics, the men in charge, they kept me down. They pitted us against another, they let Adam keep the belt for too long, he became a corrupt king, and not a single deserving person held it after for some time. He corrupted all those who were able to beat the next in line, so they wouldn't give any shots to anyone but their friends, their immediate enemies, or those that were meant solely to be put to take them down. It was a pissing contest to end all pissing contests. Wins and losses didn't matter near as much as your record of ass-kissing. And here...here it's becoming the EXACT SAME THING. I want, so dearly, to NOT do what I did before. To be weak, to run away. I want to FIGHT. To get to the top as proof you don't need to suck the cock of the men in charge just to make it. I WILL FIND MY WAY! I will FIGHT! I WILL...Make you ALL!!"
YES! YES!
SHUT UP!!!!!!
Indeed, my child. You're coming to grips with your own cacophony of destroyed lives. Embrace your own true self, the monster.
NO! I don't want this. I want to be myself, to excel. To shove this hypocritical politicking up the anus of all who try to take my pride, my individuality away from me. They all think that I'm just following now. That I'm another symptom of the disease that's in this place. But the truth is, I AM NOT!
Everyone claims they deserve a title shot for the Imperial title, yet...how many truly have the records, or the skills, or the accolades, to award them it? So few actually climb the ladder, they simply want a short-cut to the top. Even Laszlo who says he's "earned" his wins, his shot. He's not been doing so hot, 50/50 win/loss record? Held a title for less than a month before losing it to a man he calls a lesser?
The lord of his own fate is not his lesser. I come with Victorian sensibilities he'd never comprehend. He failed, and he's disgruntled by the entirety of the situation.
So why am I even arguing anymore? I've proven with minimal losses, being undefeated for MONTHS, destroying a man in order to get what I wanted, climbing the logical ascension of the ladder around here. But not a single soul seems to understand the way things work. The politics are the true path to the top. That I am left out of the loop, out of the cycle because I am not a favorite of Verona OR Angel. I am not a fan of either. Both have done me wrong, and they both need to realize the only thing they OWE this place, is a rope to aid Kristoff Liam Bates on his upward ascent beyond these broken rungs.
Disturbingly you're path has been riddled with far less blood than you deserve. You need to execute your business with more visceral tactics, more entropy. This place deserves it, craves it, they want a new experience.
And when you come down to it, it's all...simply...another way to erase the light and drag us down into the darkness of our own souls.
___________________
"John, I'm sorry for...before."
"No Worries, Kris. I understand you're frustrated. This place is politics, and you don't do well with it. I...uh...heard about what you did to Tom."
Deserved it, deserved more. He's nothing to me, just another man who's spent his entire career keeping others down. He's just upset he can't go from upper management to the board. He has spent over a decade trying to get onto the board, but nobody trusts him as CFO, and for good reason. He's just upper management at the glass-ceiling, and I've found a way AROUND him. Just like I always do.
"Kris? Are you ok?"
The room is blurry to me, as we sit, playing Minecraft on my big screen. The Xbox version is not nearly as good as the computer, but it's also a little more "intimate" as less are allowed in servers. We're trying to survive another one of the "Hunger Games" after losing a few to fifteen-year-old cheaters. Diamond swords shouldn't be allowed for these things, and the host seems to play favorites.
"No, John. I'm just...dissatisfied with my life right now. I keep trying to move up, to keep improving myself and my situation, but yet...the systems in place always try to keep the plebeians out. At the company, it's Tom, and the Board. At IWF, it's Angel and Verona constantly battling over who has more "power over the direction"."
I am hit with an arrow, sent back to spawn, and out of the game. A long hard sigh comes out of me as I step away from the controller, the couch, and the screen. Even fun is becoming less...I'm thinking too much on what I want, and how it's being blocked by ignorance. Everyone gets a shot in the Roulette, but I'm only number 5, near the beginning. There are 25 more individuals after me, willing to wear me down and take me out in groups in order to prevent my success. WHY?
He's not your friend, Kristoff. He wants you for other things. Always.
"I'm sorry. Look, they got me too. It's ok. Nobody is really satisfied with their lives anymore. Simply keeping up causes disharmony with our own souls. I'm here for you, if you want."
As he came closer I felt the rage within me rise. The rage against this whole place, the whole situation. I wanted to change EVERYTHING. I wanted things to be FAIR and JUST. You can't get equality without breaking some eggs, without doing the wrong thing over and over to get into a position where you can change things. I'm taking the dirt to my own soul on my way up, and is it worth it? I tug at the collar of my shirt, close my eyes and try to think of other things.
He still wants you, Kristoff. He's not over your rejection. He wants you the way Lance wants Pooler's wife. He wants you how Alice is wanted by Angel. It's all about sex. You're above that, you're not a creature of comforts of the flesh.
"Kris? Are you ok?"
"NO I AM NOT OKAY!" My arms go up as he tries to hold me, and I smack him hard across the face as I am breaking out of the embrace. I feel my rage build, I want to swing. I want to hurt everything around me. I want to build a wall, to shut the world off, to hide. "I am fucking TIRED. Just...go, John...before...before I hurt you again."
"Kris?"
"I will fucking HURT you...GO....NOW!"
I scream loudly, tears are welling up in my eyes as I point to the door. He takes the hint, and slowly grabs his coat. He's crying. I've hurt him. The barbs came up, he wanted to console me and I shut him out, he's hurt. He knows...but he's hurt. I know he knows...it's been...hard since. The lies, the whole mountain of lies that came down on me in the divorce. No children, I have no legacy...nothing...I wanted to rebel, I wanted comfort, I hurt those I cared about.
Fret not about the pain you've caused, think only of redirecting it at those who deserve pain. You can be so much more dangerous if you harness it, focus it, direct it at those who are across the ring from you, those who stand in your path. Like Tom. You took the sheep, and you bit into the soft, fluffy flesh leaving nothing but raw bone and blood.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
__________________________________
"Every last one of you stands in the way to the progress I mean to bring. Angel, Verona, Spike, Laszlo, Ortega, Cross; even Sephiroth. You ALL are in my way."
I am here to help, not in your way. Don't forget who owns you.
"There is nothing I wouldn't do to beat your faces until there was nothing left to identify you when you hit the morgue. Your teeth, broken and chipped and shoved down your throat. Your noses, your bones, broken and displaced. I want to make you all pay for the suffering you give to those who are simply "in the way". I am no HERO. I am a fucking MONSTER. but sometimes MONSTERS can do things with themselves for the betterment of others. They can get away with the dark things needed to make changes. They can take the hatred, they can take the pain, and the solitude, and the punishment. Sometimes you have to be the villain, sometimes you have to simply be the worst kind of filth to make the changes NECESSARY. The lot of you are a SICKNESS. I am the CURE. You itch, you scream, you bleed. All of you will suffer for the things you do to the natural order. The order is not politics. The order is SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. The strongest excel, the weak die. Instead, you make your political bonds, grouping together as a band of rabid wolves to cannibalize on those who don't conform to your list of attributes. You commit genocide to the roster and root out competition for your own purposes. And now...now I've a shot to be hoisted up into the top of the ladder, one simple action, a single win, is all it takes."
Ascend, Kristoff. Take your spot among the legends where you belong. You are the shark, let them know your bite.
"There's not a single day I don't think of what it would feel like to hold the Imperial Championship. Not a SINGLE...DAY. I have tried to get to the top in nCw, but the politics, the men in charge, they kept me down. They pitted us against another, they let Adam keep the belt for too long, he became a corrupt king, and not a single deserving person held it after for some time. He corrupted all those who were able to beat the next in line, so they wouldn't give any shots to anyone but their friends, their immediate enemies, or those that were meant solely to be put to take them down. It was a pissing contest to end all pissing contests. Wins and losses didn't matter near as much as your record of ass-kissing. And here...here it's becoming the EXACT SAME THING. I want, so dearly, to NOT do what I did before. To be weak, to run away. I want to FIGHT. To get to the top as proof you don't need to suck the cock of the men in charge just to make it. I WILL FIND MY WAY! I will FIGHT! I WILL...Make you ALL!!"
YES! YES!
SHUT UP!!!!!!
Well howdy there pardner.