Post by John Barber on Mar 22, 2014 19:33:48 GMT
The John Barber Diaries Journal (manly edit. -Billy)
Memory Lane - part 1
The scene opens up in a dark room again, once more with a chair in the middle. Just like before, someone walks into the room and sits down in front of the camera. Itāsā¦you guessed itā¦.John Barber.
John Barber: Yāknow it occurred to me, making all these claims about the big impact Iād have on these boys in the back at High Stakes, that ifān I do as great as I think I will or hell even win the damn thing, everyoneās STILL going to be wondering who exactly John Barber is. So bear with me here, I got an idea.
Go make you some popcorn, get you a drink, kick back in yer Lazy Boy and prepare yourself for the story of John Barb---
John is interrupted by the sound of loud scraping. Someone walks into the background dragging a metal folding chair similar to the one that John is sitting in. John looks back over his shoulder at the person.
John: Billy, what are you doing?! Just pick up the chair, donāt drag it, jeez.
Billy puts the chair beside Johnās, reaches over adjusting the camera bringing himself into the frame also, and sits down in the chair. He turns to John as he sits down.
Billy: Sorry! I just wanted to be in the promo, too. What are we doing?
John turns to Billy.
John: We- I mean Iām telling them the story of John Barber.
Billy: Nice! Story time! Can I help tell it?
John: No. Iām starting back before you came into the story. Iām starting at the beginning, Billy.
John turns back to the camera and the scene gets all shaky and blurry as if weāre being transported to a different scene.
John: Billy, stop messing with the camera.
The scene comes back into focus and Billy sits back in his chair. John shakes his head before continuing.
John: So IWFers, it was 1990 and weāre in Miami, Florida.
The scene fades out and back into a scene with a modest-sized white house with green shutters. Large tree in the front yard with one of them tire swings hanging from it. Itās storming outside, rain coming down like cats and dogs..if they was rain drops.
Billy: Whoa whoa whoa, John. How do you know it was storming that night?
John: My parents told me so.
Billy: Well, I donāt like storms that very much so how about we cut the rain.
John sighs.
John: Fine, no raining. Bright sunshine.
The rain stops and the sun is shining, a bird is heard chirping. The camera cuts to inside the house, specifically to the bedroom of Johnās parents. An attractive woman is under the blankets, grinning at a young man standing across the room. She seductively gestures for him to come over. The young man has a big grin on his face and he grips his suspenders and pulls them down. Heās just about to start getting undressed as he walks towards the bed when the bedroom door suddenly bursts open. Itās Billy. The man jumps and the woman shrieks and passes out.
John: What theāBilly! I told you I was telling the story here. Get out of the bedroom!
The man looks around confused, even looking up at the ceiling trying to figure out where the voice is coming from.
Billy: Aināt nobody wanna hear about your daddy doing your mom!
The man looks at Billy with an angry look on his face.
Man: Just who do you think you are? Iāll shoot you if you donāt get out of my house rights now!
Billy looks at the man.
Billy: Mr. Barber! Itās me, Billy! Your sonās best friend!
Man: I have no son!
Billy: Wow, thatās pretty harsh.
The man grabs his belt thatās lying on the floor and folds it over and starts swinging at Billy who backs away and runs out the door. The scene cuts back to Billy and John sitting in the chair with Billy rubbing his arm.
Billy: John, we aināt talking about your momma and daddy having sex. Nobody wants to hear that.
John gives Billy an annoyed look.
John: Well then what story are we going to tell them?
Billy: How about the first time we met?
John: Yeah, ok. I reckon we can do that one.
Billy: Ooh, can I tell it?
John shrugs.
John: Sure, why not?
Billy pumps a fist in victory.
Billy: Sweet! So we was about 8 years old, right?
John: Seven.
Billy: Ok so we was seven years old. This all took place in the local park on a SUNNY day in Miami, Floridaā¦
Billyās voice trails off as the screen starts to shimmer again.
John: Billy, I said to quit messing with the camera!
Billy: Sorry!
The camera comes back into focus again after Billy fixes it. The scene fades out and back into a park, complete with one of them jungle gyms, swing set, you know, the whole nine yards. Off to the side thereās a young boy laying on the ground in the fetal position as three boys are kicking the fire out of him, sending sand and dirt flying all over him as they kick him and taunt him.
From out of nowhere marches another child but this one is muscular and wearing a Superman outfit. The only difference is that it has a giant B on it. The boy in the Superman outfit yells at the bullies.
Superman Boy: Halt! Leave that young man alone immediately!
The boys turn around with wide eyes on their face. One of them speaks up.
Boy: Oh no, not Super Billy!
āSuper Billyā grins big and sticks his chest out with his arms by his side. One of the other boys gets a determined look on his face and glares at Super Billy.
Other Boy: Thereās three of us and only one of him! Letās get āim!
The boys approach Super Billy and one by one, they try and hit him but he blocks their punches and sends them flying backwards with karate chops. Suddenly everyone freezes.
John: Wait a minute! What is this? Thatās not what happened?!
Billy: YOU said I could tell the story, John! This is how I remember it!
John: Your memory is terrible then.
The scene starts going backwards as if someone has hit some magical rewind button until āSuper Billyā is off the screen. The boy on the ground changes to a rather hefty young fella who is crying while getting hit and the scene stops ārewindingā. A young boy walks onto the screen, the one that was previously on the ground getting kicked. He balls up his fists as he yells at the trio.
Boy: Hey you guys stop picking on him!
The three boys stop and turn around to the young boy who is obviously John, and Billy is the overweight kid on the ground.
Two of the boys glare at John while the third boy steps forward and smirks at John. He speaks up.
Bully 1: What are you gunna do about it? This your girlfriend?
Little John: Iām not gonna let you keep picking on him! Go away before you get hurt.
One of the other boys speaks up.
Bully 2: You think you can hurt us? Come on then!
Little John: Just remember, you asked for it!
Little John marches up to the three boys with a look of pure determination in his eyes. He clenches his fists and gets in a fighting stance with his dukes up, ready to fight. The kid in front, the one who is obviously the leader slams a fist right in his face and lays him out instantly. The kids all laugh and kick him for a few seconds. They stop when they notice a small kid with glasses hurrying by with a pile of books.
Bully 2: Hey letās go beat up that NERD!
The three kids run off after the nerdy kid. Little Billy and Little John lay there for a while, barely moving.
Billy: How long did we end up laying there.
John: I donāt know, I reckon about 30 or 45 minutes.
The screen goes wobbly and appears to move time forward through the memory until both boys are sitting up. Little John slides across the ground and sits beside Little Billy. Little Billy turns to Little John.
Little Billy: You donāt know how to fight do you?
Little John shakes his head.
Little John: Nope. They said on the televisions that if you stand up to bullies, theyāll go away. I think it worked since they went away, right?
Little Billy: Yeah but they kicked us for a while before they left.
Little John: Yeah. My nameās John Barber. Whatās yours?
Little Billy: My name is Billy.
Little John gives Little Billy an odd look.
Little John: You donāt have a last name?
Little Billy: No, I think my family is too poor to afford a last name.
Little John: Billy, I donāt think thatās how that works.
Little Billy: Agree to disagree. You know what I see potential in you John Barber. I think you could be a great professional wrassler one day ifān you ask me. Maybe even win a Roulette match at some wrasslin company called IWF.
John: Billy, I donāt think thatās what you said.
Billy: Thatās how I remember it!
Little John holds his hand out to shake Little Billyās.
Little John: We should be best friends forever!
Little Billy shakes Little Johnās hand. The scene suddenly cuts to down the road. The three bully kids are on the ground crying while Billy, the present day one, is kicking the crap out of all three of them.
John: That didnāt happen either!
Billy: Donāt judge me!
The scene fades out to darkness. All that can be heard is a voiceover, that of John Barber.
John: Some people have described me as someone with a hero or savior complex. I know yaāll here in IWF havenāt really seen that yet and those who followed me in the last wrasslin company I was in saw a sneak peek at it, but some would say it started with the day I saved Billy. Why did I save Billy? Why do I always feel the need to be the one to save the day? Is it glory? Is it for attention? Ifān you ask me, I just do it because itās the right thing to do and thatās how I was raised.
Donāt get me wrong IWF, Iām not going to sit here and say like some of them other fellas in the back that Iām here to save IWF from some evil or one of these jerks running around attacking people. Iām especially not going to be worrying about that in that there Roulette match. All Iām going to be worrying about in that match is surviving and moving on to being the sole survivor in that there match. Iām worrying about number oneā¦meā¦.John Barberā¦in that ring.
Iām the new guy in IWF. People are expecting me to just waltz into that ring as the last guy in the match and immediately exit the other side of the ring. Some are expecting me to have a decent showing, maybe help eliminate a guy or two or maybe knock some unsuspecting guy out of the ring whose been there since early on in the match, but thatās not whatās going to happen. I canāt tell you how many people Iāll eliminate or who Iāll eliminate, but with John Barber you can expect the unexpected and thatās exactly what will happen in that Roulette match when it comes to yours truly. John Barber is going to be the sole survivor of that match.
You wanna make the smart bet? Then go all in on the Florida Cracker. He wonāt disappoint you. Iāve been in a few battle royals before and I tend to do great in them. Yeah, itās true that Iāve not been in a battle royal with any man in this company, but how many of them have been in one with me either? I may be new to this wrasslin business but I was trained by someone Iād argue was one of the smartest ever to lace up the boots. Iāll be standing there in the back watching wrassler after wrassler walk out from the back. Theyāll go in and last so long and then be eliminated. Some of them will still be out there when my music hits. Iāll be watching the whole time seeing who buddies up with who, who goes after who. Iāll be scouting the competition, looking for weaknesses. Iāll be swimming through those IWF waters, just barely visible like a gator in the swamps. Theyāll hear my music. Iāll swim towards the ring and when they least expect itā¦BAMā¦Iāll strike. I may be a bit of a rookie, but Iām a student of the game.
IWFā¦get ready for the Florida Crackerā¦.and when you see my hand raised in victory as the sole survivorā¦donāt take it personal now, ya hear?
Scene.
Memory Lane - part 1
The scene opens up in a dark room again, once more with a chair in the middle. Just like before, someone walks into the room and sits down in front of the camera. Itāsā¦you guessed itā¦.John Barber.
John Barber: Yāknow it occurred to me, making all these claims about the big impact Iād have on these boys in the back at High Stakes, that ifān I do as great as I think I will or hell even win the damn thing, everyoneās STILL going to be wondering who exactly John Barber is. So bear with me here, I got an idea.
Go make you some popcorn, get you a drink, kick back in yer Lazy Boy and prepare yourself for the story of John Barb---
John is interrupted by the sound of loud scraping. Someone walks into the background dragging a metal folding chair similar to the one that John is sitting in. John looks back over his shoulder at the person.
John: Billy, what are you doing?! Just pick up the chair, donāt drag it, jeez.
Billy puts the chair beside Johnās, reaches over adjusting the camera bringing himself into the frame also, and sits down in the chair. He turns to John as he sits down.
Billy: Sorry! I just wanted to be in the promo, too. What are we doing?
John turns to Billy.
John: We- I mean Iām telling them the story of John Barber.
Billy: Nice! Story time! Can I help tell it?
John: No. Iām starting back before you came into the story. Iām starting at the beginning, Billy.
John turns back to the camera and the scene gets all shaky and blurry as if weāre being transported to a different scene.
John: Billy, stop messing with the camera.
The scene comes back into focus and Billy sits back in his chair. John shakes his head before continuing.
John: So IWFers, it was 1990 and weāre in Miami, Florida.
The scene fades out and back into a scene with a modest-sized white house with green shutters. Large tree in the front yard with one of them tire swings hanging from it. Itās storming outside, rain coming down like cats and dogs..if they was rain drops.
Billy: Whoa whoa whoa, John. How do you know it was storming that night?
John: My parents told me so.
Billy: Well, I donāt like storms that very much so how about we cut the rain.
John sighs.
John: Fine, no raining. Bright sunshine.
The rain stops and the sun is shining, a bird is heard chirping. The camera cuts to inside the house, specifically to the bedroom of Johnās parents. An attractive woman is under the blankets, grinning at a young man standing across the room. She seductively gestures for him to come over. The young man has a big grin on his face and he grips his suspenders and pulls them down. Heās just about to start getting undressed as he walks towards the bed when the bedroom door suddenly bursts open. Itās Billy. The man jumps and the woman shrieks and passes out.
John: What theāBilly! I told you I was telling the story here. Get out of the bedroom!
The man looks around confused, even looking up at the ceiling trying to figure out where the voice is coming from.
Billy: Aināt nobody wanna hear about your daddy doing your mom!
The man looks at Billy with an angry look on his face.
Man: Just who do you think you are? Iāll shoot you if you donāt get out of my house rights now!
Billy looks at the man.
Billy: Mr. Barber! Itās me, Billy! Your sonās best friend!
Man: I have no son!
Billy: Wow, thatās pretty harsh.
The man grabs his belt thatās lying on the floor and folds it over and starts swinging at Billy who backs away and runs out the door. The scene cuts back to Billy and John sitting in the chair with Billy rubbing his arm.
Billy: John, we aināt talking about your momma and daddy having sex. Nobody wants to hear that.
John gives Billy an annoyed look.
John: Well then what story are we going to tell them?
Billy: How about the first time we met?
John: Yeah, ok. I reckon we can do that one.
Billy: Ooh, can I tell it?
John shrugs.
John: Sure, why not?
Billy pumps a fist in victory.
Billy: Sweet! So we was about 8 years old, right?
John: Seven.
Billy: Ok so we was seven years old. This all took place in the local park on a SUNNY day in Miami, Floridaā¦
Billyās voice trails off as the screen starts to shimmer again.
John: Billy, I said to quit messing with the camera!
Billy: Sorry!
The camera comes back into focus again after Billy fixes it. The scene fades out and back into a park, complete with one of them jungle gyms, swing set, you know, the whole nine yards. Off to the side thereās a young boy laying on the ground in the fetal position as three boys are kicking the fire out of him, sending sand and dirt flying all over him as they kick him and taunt him.
From out of nowhere marches another child but this one is muscular and wearing a Superman outfit. The only difference is that it has a giant B on it. The boy in the Superman outfit yells at the bullies.
Superman Boy: Halt! Leave that young man alone immediately!
The boys turn around with wide eyes on their face. One of them speaks up.
Boy: Oh no, not Super Billy!
āSuper Billyā grins big and sticks his chest out with his arms by his side. One of the other boys gets a determined look on his face and glares at Super Billy.
Other Boy: Thereās three of us and only one of him! Letās get āim!
The boys approach Super Billy and one by one, they try and hit him but he blocks their punches and sends them flying backwards with karate chops. Suddenly everyone freezes.
John: Wait a minute! What is this? Thatās not what happened?!
Billy: YOU said I could tell the story, John! This is how I remember it!
John: Your memory is terrible then.
The scene starts going backwards as if someone has hit some magical rewind button until āSuper Billyā is off the screen. The boy on the ground changes to a rather hefty young fella who is crying while getting hit and the scene stops ārewindingā. A young boy walks onto the screen, the one that was previously on the ground getting kicked. He balls up his fists as he yells at the trio.
Boy: Hey you guys stop picking on him!
The three boys stop and turn around to the young boy who is obviously John, and Billy is the overweight kid on the ground.
Two of the boys glare at John while the third boy steps forward and smirks at John. He speaks up.
Bully 1: What are you gunna do about it? This your girlfriend?
Little John: Iām not gonna let you keep picking on him! Go away before you get hurt.
One of the other boys speaks up.
Bully 2: You think you can hurt us? Come on then!
Little John: Just remember, you asked for it!
Little John marches up to the three boys with a look of pure determination in his eyes. He clenches his fists and gets in a fighting stance with his dukes up, ready to fight. The kid in front, the one who is obviously the leader slams a fist right in his face and lays him out instantly. The kids all laugh and kick him for a few seconds. They stop when they notice a small kid with glasses hurrying by with a pile of books.
Bully 2: Hey letās go beat up that NERD!
The three kids run off after the nerdy kid. Little Billy and Little John lay there for a while, barely moving.
Billy: How long did we end up laying there.
John: I donāt know, I reckon about 30 or 45 minutes.
The screen goes wobbly and appears to move time forward through the memory until both boys are sitting up. Little John slides across the ground and sits beside Little Billy. Little Billy turns to Little John.
Little Billy: You donāt know how to fight do you?
Little John shakes his head.
Little John: Nope. They said on the televisions that if you stand up to bullies, theyāll go away. I think it worked since they went away, right?
Little Billy: Yeah but they kicked us for a while before they left.
Little John: Yeah. My nameās John Barber. Whatās yours?
Little Billy: My name is Billy.
Little John gives Little Billy an odd look.
Little John: You donāt have a last name?
Little Billy: No, I think my family is too poor to afford a last name.
Little John: Billy, I donāt think thatās how that works.
Little Billy: Agree to disagree. You know what I see potential in you John Barber. I think you could be a great professional wrassler one day ifān you ask me. Maybe even win a Roulette match at some wrasslin company called IWF.
John: Billy, I donāt think thatās what you said.
Billy: Thatās how I remember it!
Little John holds his hand out to shake Little Billyās.
Little John: We should be best friends forever!
Little Billy shakes Little Johnās hand. The scene suddenly cuts to down the road. The three bully kids are on the ground crying while Billy, the present day one, is kicking the crap out of all three of them.
John: That didnāt happen either!
Billy: Donāt judge me!
The scene fades out to darkness. All that can be heard is a voiceover, that of John Barber.
John: Some people have described me as someone with a hero or savior complex. I know yaāll here in IWF havenāt really seen that yet and those who followed me in the last wrasslin company I was in saw a sneak peek at it, but some would say it started with the day I saved Billy. Why did I save Billy? Why do I always feel the need to be the one to save the day? Is it glory? Is it for attention? Ifān you ask me, I just do it because itās the right thing to do and thatās how I was raised.
Donāt get me wrong IWF, Iām not going to sit here and say like some of them other fellas in the back that Iām here to save IWF from some evil or one of these jerks running around attacking people. Iām especially not going to be worrying about that in that there Roulette match. All Iām going to be worrying about in that match is surviving and moving on to being the sole survivor in that there match. Iām worrying about number oneā¦meā¦.John Barberā¦in that ring.
Iām the new guy in IWF. People are expecting me to just waltz into that ring as the last guy in the match and immediately exit the other side of the ring. Some are expecting me to have a decent showing, maybe help eliminate a guy or two or maybe knock some unsuspecting guy out of the ring whose been there since early on in the match, but thatās not whatās going to happen. I canāt tell you how many people Iāll eliminate or who Iāll eliminate, but with John Barber you can expect the unexpected and thatās exactly what will happen in that Roulette match when it comes to yours truly. John Barber is going to be the sole survivor of that match.
You wanna make the smart bet? Then go all in on the Florida Cracker. He wonāt disappoint you. Iāve been in a few battle royals before and I tend to do great in them. Yeah, itās true that Iāve not been in a battle royal with any man in this company, but how many of them have been in one with me either? I may be new to this wrasslin business but I was trained by someone Iād argue was one of the smartest ever to lace up the boots. Iāll be standing there in the back watching wrassler after wrassler walk out from the back. Theyāll go in and last so long and then be eliminated. Some of them will still be out there when my music hits. Iāll be watching the whole time seeing who buddies up with who, who goes after who. Iāll be scouting the competition, looking for weaknesses. Iāll be swimming through those IWF waters, just barely visible like a gator in the swamps. Theyāll hear my music. Iāll swim towards the ring and when they least expect itā¦BAMā¦Iāll strike. I may be a bit of a rookie, but Iām a student of the game.
IWFā¦get ready for the Florida Crackerā¦.and when you see my hand raised in victory as the sole survivorā¦donāt take it personal now, ya hear?
Scene.
Well howdy there pardner.