Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2013 16:12:42 GMT
You knew it wouldn’t be long right? It wouldn’t take a great deal of time for me to rear my head around here, to make an impact and let people know that they shouldn’t get too comfortable at the top of the card. See, I am normally opposed to the flashy and against the normal belief system that wrestlers today follow, the ideology that jumping off the top rope and flipping around like a monkey all while screaming your own accolades sounding generally like a primate.
But when I saw a good personal friend of mine getting assaulted last week, a person whom I have the utmost respect for then I figured what the hell, I might as well make an impact. Bernard, Simon I hope first of all that you understand what me being here means. It means that you have a problem on your hand. I won’t lie, the whole idea of being a leader is something that doesn’t appeal to me, it was never something that I was good at, I am a man of action not a man of theory and that is why Roberto called me.
I bring action. I bring resolution. I bring resolve.
I bring an end to confusion and tyranny. I could sit here for another ten minutes and bore you with metaphor after metaphor, confuse you with words that you have no clue of their meaning and would mindlessly be searching through a dictionary trying to keep up but I won’t. I am going to make it plain and simple Bernard, if you step out of line again, if you make a move towards Roberto then you will have a very serious problem.
And like I said, I am not a man of theory, of broken promises and false dreams. I am a man of action. Last week, when I stepped on the top of that ramp I felt a way I haven’t felt in years, I felt special, I felt that surge of electricity, I felt that rising tension in my veins and I knew that something phenomenal was about to happen, I felt that there was a new beginning, a changing tide, a….
Jesus there I go again.
I guess to put it simply I am here to show the world that what happened in other places all over wasn’t a fluke, I am here to show the world that I am the very best wrestler, and I am going to do it from the start this time. I see many familiar faces, the faces of those that have lost to me and almost certainly will be looking to get a win. I see many new faces, faces that I have witnessed gracing my television over the years but who were only enigmas, but now are real.
I look forward to testing myself against each and every one of the superstars here in the IWF, and well if being a thorn in the side of someone who wronged a friend of mine is on the docket as well.
So be it.
{Scene opens to the IWF training facility, Gib stands in the center of the ring, berating a new batch of students, Adam sits outside, with a select group of a few people working on cardiovascular equipment. Xander walks up to the ring and his father looks down, he addresses the people in the ring}
Gib: You see this you little scum sucking codsacks? This here machine of wrestling prowess came from the fruits of my loins. I used my sperm and a thrusting motion to create him, and you better respect that because when it comes right down to the nitty gritty anything I create will ultimately kick your ass. I could spunk in a cup, put it in an incubator and watch it grow for about thirty seconds, then I could put a pair of sparkly tights on the thing call it Liberace and still watch it kick the ever living dog crap out of you.
{The wrestlers all give a questioning look to their trainer, before he booms towards them again}
Gib: You know what, go get your running crap on, I have decided that in a few minutes you are going to run up a mountain while I shoot frozen paintballs at you… Chop chop…
{The guys in the ring all jump over the top rope, getting to the locker room as fast as possible. Gib stands, looking down at his son, a glow of excitement in his eyes}
Gib: You know boy, you made me proud last week. Going out to the ring and slapping the face of authority. You almost looked like you had some charisma, you almost looked like you might pump your fist or show a little personality, but then… nothing. I, for a few brief and fleeting moments had hope, just like for awhile I hoped that you weren’t a raging homosexual.
{Xander, despite this totally being his promotional time, finally gets a word in}
Xander: Dude, I am married to a hot ass woman…
Gib: Yeah, because she wanted to get close to me.
{The father and son share a laugh}
Gib: So your time away is over? You are ready to get back into the thick of things?
Xander: I think I am… No, I am ready. I am ready when I have a purpose. Roberto is one of the only wrestlers that I have ever faced who actually evolved and became a better wrestler every time that I fought him, he and I pushed one another and that is something I will forever be thankful for. I won’t allow someone to run roughshod over him, at least not without a fight.
Gib: So you are going to allow them to run roughshod over them?
Xander: No, I just said the opposite.
Gib: You used two negatives in that sentence, they cancel each other out, thus the opposite implication is actually the truth of that sentence.
Xander: Don’t you have a job to do?
Gib: I guess maybe, hey… Good luck, keep shit together and do what Famularo’s always do.
Xander: Create bastard children?
Gib: You have learned something.
{Scene fades}
So we reach the obligatory portion of my promotional material where I must address my opponent, where I am supposed to take him apart piece by piece in an effort to humiliate him in such a way that he will come to the ring, melt in a sea of embarrassment and roll over on his back.
That is how these always work, and yet there is no difference. I like to tell stories and I think you Blake Collins, well you remind me of Abraham’s son from biblical lore. You are like Isaac, you are IWF’s sacrifice to a man who they will believe is going to be one of the biggest stars and largest draws for this company. When you signed your contract you looked to be a decent prospect, a future star for this company but last we you underwhelmed the masses.
I think the problem is, that you have done well at everything you have worked on in life, your investments and your patents that you are truly reaching for something else. Unfortunately, being a nerd doesn’t do much for you in the world of wrestling, there has to be some natural inclination as well, and I will be honest. I don’t see it in you. I see someone, a rich young entrepreneur extending himself beyond what he is good at. I understand trying to better yourself; and trying new things but I will be honest man, this business, this game it just isn’t for you.
Stick to controlling little men on a screen, maybe you and that other nerd Seth Evans can get together and argue who is better at Halo and getting acne. You two can sit next to each other, calling each other newbs and fragging each other in the rear ends or whatever you dorks do, see, I know I am supposed to be nice and respectful but the fact is I hate it when people step into the ring with me that have no right to be in this business.
I won’t beat around the bush anymore Blake, let’s be completely honest here because technically we represent two opposite ends of the spectrum here. I am a person who has made my career wrestling, I have dedicated my life to it, and I have always been an athlete.
You were a dork. You are using wrestling as a hobby, not as a true meaning of life. I dedicate myself to this sport, train exhaustively and spend my whole week preparing for every aspect of a match; I account for every single possibility make a plan for any point of action and make sure that I am ready for each and every situation that can occur. That is why at the age of 23 I already have two world title reigns and went for an entire year in my active career without losing a single match.
When you are playing video games, I am watching tapes. When you are participating in your other hobbies I am planning with my two mentors. Wrestling isn’t a side job Blake; it isn’t something you do because you are bored.
It is a way of life.
It is my way of life.
For those of you that know me, you know what I am capable of. For those that don’t, I look forward to meeting you on the battleground.
I am Xander… I am wrestling.
{Scene opens to a lush New York City apartment, the former Jennifer Williams sits at a dinner table, Xander walks in behind her bending down and kissing her on the cheek. Her pours her a glass of wine and sits down, helping himself to a sushi roll on the table}
Jennifer: So, how do you like the married life?
Xander: Is it supposed to be different?
{Jennifer shoots him a glare across the table, if there is one thing she is known for it is her fighting spirit}
Xander: Come on, you know I love it. You are a good shit, and that is why you are my wife.
Jennifer: You sound more and more like your father every time you speak…
Xander: That is scary.
Jennifer: Not really, he has the biggest heart of anyone I know.
Xander: That is true…
Jennifer: So are you ready for a fresh start, a new place?
Xander: As long as you are by my side I am ready for anything.
Jennifer: That was the corniest thing I ever heard.
Xander: Yeah, sorry…
Jennifer: No it was sweet…
{She smiles across the table and Xander smiles back, the newlyweds getting ready to descend on IWF like a pack of wolverines.}
But when I saw a good personal friend of mine getting assaulted last week, a person whom I have the utmost respect for then I figured what the hell, I might as well make an impact. Bernard, Simon I hope first of all that you understand what me being here means. It means that you have a problem on your hand. I won’t lie, the whole idea of being a leader is something that doesn’t appeal to me, it was never something that I was good at, I am a man of action not a man of theory and that is why Roberto called me.
I bring action. I bring resolution. I bring resolve.
I bring an end to confusion and tyranny. I could sit here for another ten minutes and bore you with metaphor after metaphor, confuse you with words that you have no clue of their meaning and would mindlessly be searching through a dictionary trying to keep up but I won’t. I am going to make it plain and simple Bernard, if you step out of line again, if you make a move towards Roberto then you will have a very serious problem.
And like I said, I am not a man of theory, of broken promises and false dreams. I am a man of action. Last week, when I stepped on the top of that ramp I felt a way I haven’t felt in years, I felt special, I felt that surge of electricity, I felt that rising tension in my veins and I knew that something phenomenal was about to happen, I felt that there was a new beginning, a changing tide, a….
Jesus there I go again.
I guess to put it simply I am here to show the world that what happened in other places all over wasn’t a fluke, I am here to show the world that I am the very best wrestler, and I am going to do it from the start this time. I see many familiar faces, the faces of those that have lost to me and almost certainly will be looking to get a win. I see many new faces, faces that I have witnessed gracing my television over the years but who were only enigmas, but now are real.
I look forward to testing myself against each and every one of the superstars here in the IWF, and well if being a thorn in the side of someone who wronged a friend of mine is on the docket as well.
So be it.
{Scene opens to the IWF training facility, Gib stands in the center of the ring, berating a new batch of students, Adam sits outside, with a select group of a few people working on cardiovascular equipment. Xander walks up to the ring and his father looks down, he addresses the people in the ring}
Gib: You see this you little scum sucking codsacks? This here machine of wrestling prowess came from the fruits of my loins. I used my sperm and a thrusting motion to create him, and you better respect that because when it comes right down to the nitty gritty anything I create will ultimately kick your ass. I could spunk in a cup, put it in an incubator and watch it grow for about thirty seconds, then I could put a pair of sparkly tights on the thing call it Liberace and still watch it kick the ever living dog crap out of you.
{The wrestlers all give a questioning look to their trainer, before he booms towards them again}
Gib: You know what, go get your running crap on, I have decided that in a few minutes you are going to run up a mountain while I shoot frozen paintballs at you… Chop chop…
{The guys in the ring all jump over the top rope, getting to the locker room as fast as possible. Gib stands, looking down at his son, a glow of excitement in his eyes}
Gib: You know boy, you made me proud last week. Going out to the ring and slapping the face of authority. You almost looked like you had some charisma, you almost looked like you might pump your fist or show a little personality, but then… nothing. I, for a few brief and fleeting moments had hope, just like for awhile I hoped that you weren’t a raging homosexual.
{Xander, despite this totally being his promotional time, finally gets a word in}
Xander: Dude, I am married to a hot ass woman…
Gib: Yeah, because she wanted to get close to me.
{The father and son share a laugh}
Gib: So your time away is over? You are ready to get back into the thick of things?
Xander: I think I am… No, I am ready. I am ready when I have a purpose. Roberto is one of the only wrestlers that I have ever faced who actually evolved and became a better wrestler every time that I fought him, he and I pushed one another and that is something I will forever be thankful for. I won’t allow someone to run roughshod over him, at least not without a fight.
Gib: So you are going to allow them to run roughshod over them?
Xander: No, I just said the opposite.
Gib: You used two negatives in that sentence, they cancel each other out, thus the opposite implication is actually the truth of that sentence.
Xander: Don’t you have a job to do?
Gib: I guess maybe, hey… Good luck, keep shit together and do what Famularo’s always do.
Xander: Create bastard children?
Gib: You have learned something.
{Scene fades}
So we reach the obligatory portion of my promotional material where I must address my opponent, where I am supposed to take him apart piece by piece in an effort to humiliate him in such a way that he will come to the ring, melt in a sea of embarrassment and roll over on his back.
That is how these always work, and yet there is no difference. I like to tell stories and I think you Blake Collins, well you remind me of Abraham’s son from biblical lore. You are like Isaac, you are IWF’s sacrifice to a man who they will believe is going to be one of the biggest stars and largest draws for this company. When you signed your contract you looked to be a decent prospect, a future star for this company but last we you underwhelmed the masses.
I think the problem is, that you have done well at everything you have worked on in life, your investments and your patents that you are truly reaching for something else. Unfortunately, being a nerd doesn’t do much for you in the world of wrestling, there has to be some natural inclination as well, and I will be honest. I don’t see it in you. I see someone, a rich young entrepreneur extending himself beyond what he is good at. I understand trying to better yourself; and trying new things but I will be honest man, this business, this game it just isn’t for you.
Stick to controlling little men on a screen, maybe you and that other nerd Seth Evans can get together and argue who is better at Halo and getting acne. You two can sit next to each other, calling each other newbs and fragging each other in the rear ends or whatever you dorks do, see, I know I am supposed to be nice and respectful but the fact is I hate it when people step into the ring with me that have no right to be in this business.
I won’t beat around the bush anymore Blake, let’s be completely honest here because technically we represent two opposite ends of the spectrum here. I am a person who has made my career wrestling, I have dedicated my life to it, and I have always been an athlete.
You were a dork. You are using wrestling as a hobby, not as a true meaning of life. I dedicate myself to this sport, train exhaustively and spend my whole week preparing for every aspect of a match; I account for every single possibility make a plan for any point of action and make sure that I am ready for each and every situation that can occur. That is why at the age of 23 I already have two world title reigns and went for an entire year in my active career without losing a single match.
When you are playing video games, I am watching tapes. When you are participating in your other hobbies I am planning with my two mentors. Wrestling isn’t a side job Blake; it isn’t something you do because you are bored.
It is a way of life.
It is my way of life.
For those of you that know me, you know what I am capable of. For those that don’t, I look forward to meeting you on the battleground.
I am Xander… I am wrestling.
{Scene opens to a lush New York City apartment, the former Jennifer Williams sits at a dinner table, Xander walks in behind her bending down and kissing her on the cheek. Her pours her a glass of wine and sits down, helping himself to a sushi roll on the table}
Jennifer: So, how do you like the married life?
Xander: Is it supposed to be different?
{Jennifer shoots him a glare across the table, if there is one thing she is known for it is her fighting spirit}
Xander: Come on, you know I love it. You are a good shit, and that is why you are my wife.
Jennifer: You sound more and more like your father every time you speak…
Xander: That is scary.
Jennifer: Not really, he has the biggest heart of anyone I know.
Xander: That is true…
Jennifer: So are you ready for a fresh start, a new place?
Xander: As long as you are by my side I am ready for anything.
Jennifer: That was the corniest thing I ever heard.
Xander: Yeah, sorry…
Jennifer: No it was sweet…
{She smiles across the table and Xander smiles back, the newlyweds getting ready to descend on IWF like a pack of wolverines.}
Well howdy there pardner.