Post by Brooklyn on May 24, 2014 1:03:10 GMT
“This thing on?”
She tucks her hair behind her right ear while her fingers fiddle with the small webcam perched atop her laptop. Looking from the lens to the screen, apparently confident that things were set to her liking, April sits back in her chair and smiles calmly into the camera.
“ Long time no see, folks … did’ja miss me?”
April pauses and looks around as though listening to her own theme song as it plays in her mind. Smiling, eyes focused once more on the lens ahead of her she continues.
“Well, its probably hard to miss what you never really realized was around. Heck, I was starting to forget about me until I noticed that someone remembered that little ol’ title shot I’d won waaaaaay back when. So, after checking the website for, like, the bazillianth time just to make sure it was me and not Alexis, Alice, Amber, Ana or Ayla … jesus, IWF must have a hard on for girls whose names start with the letter ‘A’ … anyway, after making sure it was me on that card I did what any warm blooded American would do; I freaked the hell out. I mean, don’t get me wrong here, I earned this shot at the Ruby title fair and square, but why do I have the feeling the word ‘PUNCHING BAG’ is written on my forehead? Ever since I found myself off television with ‘creative’ just shrugging their shoulders at me, all I’ve seen is the same match over and over again.
I’d be backstage, well at least before they stopped paying for my travel, and see Amber versus Ana. It didn’t matter if it was one on one, tag team, ménage … no, wait … well, it just seemed like they were ALWAYS facing each other. But I can’t exactly blame the company for continuing to push the girls who put the Diamonds division on the map; but that also isn’t saying much for the rest of the girls in the back. But then again, what does that say about me? While it seems like there have been a few other girls who’ve gotten a little air time here and there, but for the most part it’s been a two woman show.
You can imagine how that pissed me off. So, I counted to ten. Can’t say it made me feel any better, so I counted again.
And then I sat down and I thought, and I thought, and I thought...Want to know what I did after that?
I thought some more.
And then I realized something. Maybe being lost in the shuffle was a good thing for me in the long run.
See, I’m not like some of these girls who stroll in to IWF from other companies resting firmly on their name value, *coughcough Lilith coughcough*; I’m the kind of girl who is forgettable by nature. I’ve never been the ‘hey, look at me’ person in the crowd. Maybe that’s the kind of thing that needs to change if I’m going to actually have a chance at being the Ruby Champion.”
April holds up her arm, flexing her small bicep and furrowing her eyebrows while making a duckface
”So … I’m not sure if this awkward attention counts, but I’ll take it.”
She continues to flex, nodding her head at the camera before rolling her eyes and giggling to herself.
“Yeah, I’m pretty solid. But we’ll see if ‘solid’ is enough to outlast a woman who’s been sitting on that title for the better part of two months. I’ve read nothing but other people blasting her for basically half-assing this title reign. Part of me doesn’t blame her, its not like the number one contender has been tearing up the interwebs challenging her. But see, all that’s about to change.”
April’s eyes drop from the camera and look downward at her fingers as she plays with her phone. Whether texting or tweeting, the viewer is simply left to wait until her attention is once again on the camera. When she looks up again, her blue eyes are icy and full of coldness.
”Vargas …
I know its hard to believe but I've been doing some creeping on you. No, not the usual ‘Facebook stalking’ Willy’s known for, but the starstruck fan kind. Once upon a time I was just an awkward teenager, yeah a far cry from the awkward adult I am today, but between the Comic Con events, waiting outside GameStop for the midnight release of the next big game or all day Lord of the Rings marathons I started to realize that I was never going to be one of the ‘popular girls’. Whatever, I got over it. But you know what helped? Finding out that there were other women out there who didn't fit the ‘Barbie’ mold either. There are whole websites dedicated to people who don’t care what you look like, so long as you’re chill and non-judgmental. I started loving myself a little more and more every time I’d peruse the various boards and chatrooms. But then I found you; the same kind of stuck up ‘Barbie’ that spent more time putting others down just to lift themselves up. Sure, you and me … we’re completely different people now that we’re grown ups right?
Bull, you’re the same condescending bitch you were when you were growing up in, what … the sixties? Seventies maybe?
I feel like my twitter has been inundated with your inferiority complex for months now. You won the title, but act as though the rest of us should have bowed down and started worshiping at the alter of Mercedes. You just craaaaaave attention and adulation, don’t you? Whenever someone else threatens to steal your spotlight, you freak. the fuck. out.
You haven’t proved that you’re better than anyone since being gifted that title of yours, but you wouldn't know that the way you lord it over everyone. How sad are you that I’m going to be your first, and possibly last, title defense? I’m a silly, stupid little girl from Vermont who less than a year in this sport under her belt … and I stand to tear away this reality of yours like so much tissue paper.
’at any given moment.’
Well, my moment starts tomorrow … I’m through trying to live up to the expectations of everyone around me. I refuse to cast aside WHO I am to be a professional wrestler. I may get my ass kicked … regularly … but it isn't going to stop me.
This is my story, the story of the young girl who grew up in a ‘perfect’ home. The girl who was never ‘normal’ and always wondered what was so wrong about her. The final chapters are going to read about how she took down one of the biggest, baddest, bitches in the world; yeah … that part’s not about you. You’ll be a footnote, tucked between the first time I was trusted with an expense account and my eventual first date with Alex Jones (dreamboat). All your puffing and blowing with have amounted to you being just another joke like Jenny was; forgotten among the other ‘former champions’ who amounted to nothing.
The title doesn't matter to you … it’s just an accessory that you covet because it makes you feel like a special little butterfly.
Lady and Gentlemen, I’m going to tear down everything you thought you knew about me, all your stereotypes and flippant words … Mercedes, I’m going to rip that title from your chipped and cracked nails, break down this ‘legacy’ of yours that you’ve been killing yourself to create in the span of one evening only to rebuild it all in my image ...”
April rises from her seat, leaning across the table and reaching her hand up towards the top of the laptop; her hands shaking the webcam.
”When this is over and done with, do us all a favor and just fade away. IWF doesn't need an outdated model like you clogging up all the bandwidth, especially after the next patch. Time to level up, Mercy.”
..::Too Long Ago::..
“April Marie, what did I say?”
“Young lady …”
“Honey, I’ve told you before.”
“Because he didn’t love YOU! Is that was you wanted to know? Why your daddy left? He left me BECAUSE OF YOU so I hope you’re happy.”
“I hate me too.”
She tucks her hair behind her right ear while her fingers fiddle with the small webcam perched atop her laptop. Looking from the lens to the screen, apparently confident that things were set to her liking, April sits back in her chair and smiles calmly into the camera.
“ Long time no see, folks … did’ja miss me?”
April pauses and looks around as though listening to her own theme song as it plays in her mind. Smiling, eyes focused once more on the lens ahead of her she continues.
“Well, its probably hard to miss what you never really realized was around. Heck, I was starting to forget about me until I noticed that someone remembered that little ol’ title shot I’d won waaaaaay back when. So, after checking the website for, like, the bazillianth time just to make sure it was me and not Alexis, Alice, Amber, Ana or Ayla … jesus, IWF must have a hard on for girls whose names start with the letter ‘A’ … anyway, after making sure it was me on that card I did what any warm blooded American would do; I freaked the hell out. I mean, don’t get me wrong here, I earned this shot at the Ruby title fair and square, but why do I have the feeling the word ‘PUNCHING BAG’ is written on my forehead? Ever since I found myself off television with ‘creative’ just shrugging their shoulders at me, all I’ve seen is the same match over and over again.
I’d be backstage, well at least before they stopped paying for my travel, and see Amber versus Ana. It didn’t matter if it was one on one, tag team, ménage … no, wait … well, it just seemed like they were ALWAYS facing each other. But I can’t exactly blame the company for continuing to push the girls who put the Diamonds division on the map; but that also isn’t saying much for the rest of the girls in the back. But then again, what does that say about me? While it seems like there have been a few other girls who’ve gotten a little air time here and there, but for the most part it’s been a two woman show.
You can imagine how that pissed me off. So, I counted to ten. Can’t say it made me feel any better, so I counted again.
And then I sat down and I thought, and I thought, and I thought...Want to know what I did after that?
I thought some more.
And then I realized something. Maybe being lost in the shuffle was a good thing for me in the long run.
See, I’m not like some of these girls who stroll in to IWF from other companies resting firmly on their name value, *coughcough Lilith coughcough*; I’m the kind of girl who is forgettable by nature. I’ve never been the ‘hey, look at me’ person in the crowd. Maybe that’s the kind of thing that needs to change if I’m going to actually have a chance at being the Ruby Champion.”
April holds up her arm, flexing her small bicep and furrowing her eyebrows while making a duckface
”So … I’m not sure if this awkward attention counts, but I’ll take it.”
She continues to flex, nodding her head at the camera before rolling her eyes and giggling to herself.
“Yeah, I’m pretty solid. But we’ll see if ‘solid’ is enough to outlast a woman who’s been sitting on that title for the better part of two months. I’ve read nothing but other people blasting her for basically half-assing this title reign. Part of me doesn’t blame her, its not like the number one contender has been tearing up the interwebs challenging her. But see, all that’s about to change.”
April’s eyes drop from the camera and look downward at her fingers as she plays with her phone. Whether texting or tweeting, the viewer is simply left to wait until her attention is once again on the camera. When she looks up again, her blue eyes are icy and full of coldness.
”Vargas …
I know its hard to believe but I've been doing some creeping on you. No, not the usual ‘Facebook stalking’ Willy’s known for, but the starstruck fan kind. Once upon a time I was just an awkward teenager, yeah a far cry from the awkward adult I am today, but between the Comic Con events, waiting outside GameStop for the midnight release of the next big game or all day Lord of the Rings marathons I started to realize that I was never going to be one of the ‘popular girls’. Whatever, I got over it. But you know what helped? Finding out that there were other women out there who didn't fit the ‘Barbie’ mold either. There are whole websites dedicated to people who don’t care what you look like, so long as you’re chill and non-judgmental. I started loving myself a little more and more every time I’d peruse the various boards and chatrooms. But then I found you; the same kind of stuck up ‘Barbie’ that spent more time putting others down just to lift themselves up. Sure, you and me … we’re completely different people now that we’re grown ups right?
Bull, you’re the same condescending bitch you were when you were growing up in, what … the sixties? Seventies maybe?
I feel like my twitter has been inundated with your inferiority complex for months now. You won the title, but act as though the rest of us should have bowed down and started worshiping at the alter of Mercedes. You just craaaaaave attention and adulation, don’t you? Whenever someone else threatens to steal your spotlight, you freak. the fuck. out.
You haven’t proved that you’re better than anyone since being gifted that title of yours, but you wouldn't know that the way you lord it over everyone. How sad are you that I’m going to be your first, and possibly last, title defense? I’m a silly, stupid little girl from Vermont who less than a year in this sport under her belt … and I stand to tear away this reality of yours like so much tissue paper.
’at any given moment.’
Well, my moment starts tomorrow … I’m through trying to live up to the expectations of everyone around me. I refuse to cast aside WHO I am to be a professional wrestler. I may get my ass kicked … regularly … but it isn't going to stop me.
This is my story, the story of the young girl who grew up in a ‘perfect’ home. The girl who was never ‘normal’ and always wondered what was so wrong about her. The final chapters are going to read about how she took down one of the biggest, baddest, bitches in the world; yeah … that part’s not about you. You’ll be a footnote, tucked between the first time I was trusted with an expense account and my eventual first date with Alex Jones (dreamboat). All your puffing and blowing with have amounted to you being just another joke like Jenny was; forgotten among the other ‘former champions’ who amounted to nothing.
The title doesn't matter to you … it’s just an accessory that you covet because it makes you feel like a special little butterfly.
Lady and Gentlemen, I’m going to tear down everything you thought you knew about me, all your stereotypes and flippant words … Mercedes, I’m going to rip that title from your chipped and cracked nails, break down this ‘legacy’ of yours that you’ve been killing yourself to create in the span of one evening only to rebuild it all in my image ...”
April rises from her seat, leaning across the table and reaching her hand up towards the top of the laptop; her hands shaking the webcam.
”When this is over and done with, do us all a favor and just fade away. IWF doesn't need an outdated model like you clogging up all the bandwidth, especially after the next patch. Time to level up, Mercy.”
..::Too Long Ago::..
“But mom … why?”
The summer breeze drifting through the house carries the subtle scent of lilac and barbecue. The squeals of children playing outside do nothing to break the feeling of hopelessness within the home. Outside of the picturesque cream colored home with the maroon painted shutters little boys and girls giggle and scream as they run through sprinklers in their front yard. Husbands and wives sneak a loving kiss, breaking their embrace before their children have a chance to spy. Families laugh, smile, sing and love; but not inside the cream colored house with maroon shutters. No, within those walls there are no smiles or songs being sung today. Nary a smile can be seen on either of the two faces occupying the kitchen. One would have to wonder … where is the love?
“Come on … why not?”
The cute little thing had been pestering her mother all morning, impressive even by most children’s standards, for something that she wanted. Unrelenting and seemingly untiring in her devotion to getting what she wanted she’d been following her mother around since she’d awoken that morning.
“April Marie, what did I say?”
Her little face, framed by pigtails and highlighted by two large blue eyes, fell. Her mother was a very tough nut to crack. There were times when she saw her mother as this ‘larger than life’ character … almost a superhero of sorts. Well, when Supermom made up her mind about something that was, generally, all she wrote. But if there was something that April knew, it was that anyone will crumble with the right amount of pressure. So, maybe the cute and innocent approach hadn’t worked. Then again, neither had the curious anthropologist approach; there were still many different ways that she could address the situation and eventually, she knew it, her mother would break.
“MOM!”
She had never before raised her voice, not once. She was counting on this being the catalyst tipping the scales in her favor. It appeared to be working. The sudden shout caused her poor mother to retract in surprise, dropping the blouse she’d been slipping a hanger into. As she reached down to take hold of the hanger and shirt once more, she looked up at her daughter.
“Young lady …”
Uh oh, if she let her mother finish a ‘young lady’ sentence she was finished.
“NO! NO MORE ‘YOUNG LADY’. ANSWER ME!”
Her mother’s shoulders sagged as though the weight of her response was enough to crumble mountains. She walked around the bed to where her daughter stood, fixed firmly to a spot on the carpet; unmoving, unrelenting, just liker her father.
“Honey, I’ve told you before.”
She gently takes her daughters face in her hands, tilting it up and looking down into those light blue eyes.
“NO!”
April grabs hold of her mother’s wrists and pulls them away from her face. She can feel her ears getting red, almost hear the sound of the blood coursing through her veins as her anger rises.
“You haven’t told me ANYTHING. You never do … I … WANT … TO … KNOW … WH …”
*CRACK*
All is quiet for a moment, neither one of them moving … blinking … breathing. The fury on April’s face is gone; replaced by a look of shock, disbelief and a red handprint. Her mother’s face too has changed. The calm and collected figure is gone, replaced by a woman who wears her anger on her face. Eyes wild, breathing heavy with the muscles in her tightly clenched jaw flexing as she bites back words that shouldn’t be spoken; but this too is a fight she’ll lose.
“Because he didn’t love YOU! Is that was you wanted to know? Why your daddy left? He left me BECAUSE OF YOU so I hope you’re happy.”
April had done what she’d set out to do. She’d broken her mother … she should be happy, but she’s not.
“I … HATE YOU”
And as she ran from the room her mother dropped to her knees, her face buried in her hands. The tears came quickly and a single thought ran through her mind.
“I hate me too.”
It was the worst birthday April could remember.
Well howdy there pardner.