Post by Alexis Caffrey on May 25, 2014 5:30:57 GMT
It should have been me!
Not April…
ME! ME! ME! MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME…ME!
The screaming is linked to its personification as Alexis stomps around; throwing a temper tantrum that is rather unbecoming of her…even if she has a bit of a point.
April didn’t beat Mercedes three times…I DID!
April hasn’t been on TV all this time…I HAVE!
I mouth something off camera and she stops on a dime in the middle of her outburst…then aims it toward me.
What!? What do you mean calm down? I have every right in the freakin’ world to be mad right now. I mean, at least make it a Triple Threat…
But…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
No, instead, I get some stupid consolation prize. I guess according to the almighty powers that be I should just be happy that I’m on this grandioso card huh?
Well I’M NOT!
She stomps off toward a locker in the gym where she has her belongings. Don’t worry, it’s a private room, hence me being allowed in. As she yanks her clothes from the little locker, she continues rambling on.
I guess I should be happy that I get to face one of the mean girls right? The plastics of the IWF? I guess I should be grateful that I get to take out a bit more anger on them after what happened the last time we met right? I mean, the last time we physically met…I beat both of you up. Do you think I’m stupid?
With a tilt of her head to the right, accessorized with a glare, she reached toward the switch on the wall and flips it down creating a darkness in the room that was rivaled by no other.
Babe, move the camera to your right.
Carefully I turned, making sure not to trip on anything on the floor. As I did, the glowing green letters sprawled across the wall were revealed.
I KNOW IT WAS YOU!
She flips the lights back on as I turn the camera back to her. Her arms were crossed and she didn’t look all that amused.
Sure St. James…eses…or whatever the plural may be. Low…really low…even for two talentless sluts like yourselves. You know that one-on-one, clear-headed, neither of you worthless whores could beat me. You knew that you needed a psychological edge and I get that…I do. However, to pray on my fears, my legitimate fears from an event in my life that I try my hardest not to relive on a day to day basis is not only pathetic, but very unoriginal. It would be like me…waiting for you to fall asleep and then cutting your hair. It would be the equivalent…wait, let me help out your high school bitch brains…similar, to me giving you a face cream to help your skin look beautiful, only to put something in it that I know you’re highly allergic to so that your face breaks out with a bunch of tiny little bumps, and red patchiness.
She sarcastically shutters at the thought.
Because that’s how shallow you two are. That’s how simple minded the two of you are. Whereas you care about looks, boyfriends, and the latest gossip in Teen Magazine, the rest of us deal with real life issues. The rest of us in the world have bigger things to worry about than the latest rumor in a tabloid or who was best dressed at an award show. We don’t have time to obsess over our every little flaw because in the real world…our time is worth more than that.
She sits on the bench and starts lacing up a pair of Chuck Taylors, black with a lime green stitch to them, as she looks up at the camera.
I want you to know that your words have meaning and by having a meaning, they also have a consequence to them. You too sit there and make fun of everyone, and eventually, you’re going to piss off the wrong girl. Newsflash for the ignorant…I’m that girl. So while you’re making your accusations, while you’re pointing out my flaws to the world…I’ll be exploiting yours on the biggest stage we’ll ever have in this business. I’ll exploit them until every last bit is shown to the world, and then, like you tried to do to me for the last month…I’ll humiliate you and make you give up in front of the world. I will make you admit that you just weren’t good enough…and I’ll love every minute of it.
She finishes tying her shoes and grabs her bags to leave as the feed ends.
====================
“Relapse”
Darkness was everywhere. There wasn’t a bit of light to be seen in any direction. There was nothing but emptiness. Suddenly a light came on, shining down on a rocking chair. As it swayed back and forth it made a creaky sound. A little girl in blue pajamas appeared on the chair. She looked scared as she brought her tiny little knees up to hide her face as she continued to rock back and forth. As I got closer to her, she looked up, barely peeking over her knees, and from that slight peek, I saw her eyes and I realized that it was…
Me.
I got closer and closer and she ducked her head down again. Sounds of whimpering were heard from within her little self-cocoon as I got closer they got louder. I kneeled down in front of the younger version of me and reached out, stopping the rocking of the chair.
Sweetie, what’s wrong?
She continued sobbing, not bothering to look up at me. She was shaking like a leaf and just when it looked like there was no end in sight, I looked down, next to the chair, and out of nowhere appeared the same stuffed bear that I’ve kept with me all these years. It was the bear that gave me comfort whenever I needed it most. Picking it up, I handed it to the little girl who felt the soft touch of the stuffed animal and looked up. She reached out and took it from me. She cradled it against her chest, hugging it with a grip like none other. She looked up with the last few tears streaming down her face.
Thank you.
What made you so sad honey?
You…you said that it…it would never happen again.
That what would never happen again?
Before she could answer there was a loud pounding sound behind me that caused me to jump and snap around. The younger me clutched at the teddy bear and went back into her fetal state. The pounding happened again, louder and louder with each bang.
Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. I won’t let anything happen.
Through the pounding, I could hear her muffled voice.
That’s what you said last time.
I snapped my head around again.
What did she mean?
The pounding stopped instantly which caused me to cautiously kneel down again, this time beside the little girl in the chair.
What do you mean that’s what I said last time?
With the pounding gone, she looked up at me.
Last time the mean man came, you said you’d never let it happen again. You said you would never feel that way again…you wouldn’t let it happen…YOU LIED! LIAR! LIAR! LIARLIARLIARLIARLIAR!
Her voice grew from a soft mutter, to a harsh tone, especially for one so young, to an all-out screaming. I calmed her down by rocking the chair again. She looked up at me, again, tears flowing down her face.
Why?
Why what?
Why did you lie to me? Why did you let it happen again?
She started to cry uncontrollably. There was no stopping it. I held her clothes until the light disappeared and there was nothing but darkness again.
H-he-hello?
Frantically I looked from side to side. The little girl was gone. Are surrounding was gone. I was alone…in the dark, with no way of escape. I could feel my body temperature rising. I could feel the anxiety pulsing through my body until the light came on again. It was so bright that I went to shield my eyes, only to find out I was unable. My eyes soon adjusted as I looked down at my wrists…tied down to the chair again…I was there…again.
I snapped my head back and forth, and I pulled my arms away from the chair with all of my might but it was useless as I felt the fear rush over me again. The heat of the lamp was intense, just like that day. I could feel the beads of sweat dripping down from my forehead. I looked around and unlike the actual place I was held captive, there was no window, no door, there was no escape.
As I looked forward I heard footsteps. They got louder and louder as whoever they belonged to approached. I squinted my eyes and saw the same younger version of me from before. She was holding the teddy bear with one hand, dragging it along the floor as she got closer until she was right in front of me.
H…he…help me?
You lied. You told me that I would never be that afraid again.
The chair started to rock back and forth with me in it as I struggled. I was terrified. There was no way out and nothing I could do. I felt like the little girl under the bed when the hotel manager pounded on the door. I needed help and yet nobody was there to help me.
You said no. Then it happened again and again and again. You said you would make it stop and you didn’t.
I…I’m…I’m sorry!
Tears started to flow down my own eyes.
I didn’t mean to lie. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry! Please! Forgive me! I’ll do whatever I can. Just let me go…LET ME GOOOOOO!
I was in full panic mode, terrified, the tears running from my eyes like water from a broken dam. Through the watery, blurry vision, I watched as the little girl before me started to shimmer back and forth, growing in size, morphing into something completely different all together…IT WAS HIM!
NOOOOOOOOO! PLEEEEEEEEEEASE! DON’T HURT ME! PLEEEEEEASE!
It was Caleb…the man who took me. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head back, exposing my bare neck for all to see.
You were a terrified little girl then and you’re a terrified little girl now. It’s pathetic really, that you haven’t grown up after all this time. You thought you were better…thought you had moved on, but the scared little girl is and forever will be inside you until the end. Lucky for you…the end is now.
MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE HELLLLLLLLLLP! PLEASE!
The sound of the blade being removed from the sheath made my eyes bulge from my head. With a full hand of hair still firm in his grasp, he stepped behind me and put the blade to my throat. The cold steel was all too real. The tears leaving a warm trail on my face were all too real. I felt the blade slither across my throat and felt my final breaths.
He did this to you…remember that.
It seemed as if I took my last final breath before everything was sucked away with the opening of my eyes. I flew up into a seated position screaming at the top of my lungs for Mike, waking him up next to me.
What is it? Alexis?
I was covered in sweat and breathing heavier than I had ever breathed before in my entire life. I reached up for a moment and felt the rapidness of my heartbeat before running my fingers through my hair as Mike wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I was a frantic mess and he did his best to calm me down.
Shhhh. It’s okay babe. It was a nightmare. You’re fine. Nothing has happened to you.
My eyes shifted around. My ears heard him, but my brain didn’t trust him. Once I realized where I was and that he was right, the anxiety started to subside. My breathing began to regulate and my heartbeat began to slow.
There ya go. Just relax.
He rubbed his hand up and down my shoulder.
It…it was so real. I felt startled at the door pounding. I felt the heat of the lamp. I felt my last breath…
He pulled me in closer.
It’s all fine honey. None of it happened. It was only a nightmare.
I nodded as we slowly laid back on the pillows. I was in his arms and felt safe for the moment.
Nobody is ever going to hurt you again…I promise.
We laid back and I stared at the window as he placed his arm over my midsection, wrapping me up. He wanted to protect me…just like I said I would protect myself. If I failed…how could he succeed?
====================
So what does it mean Ayla?
The creaking of a rocking chair is heard as a light shines down in the center of a ring at the gym. We only see the front of the rocking legs as they appear and then disappear in and out of the picture, accompanied by a set of Chuck Taylors, presumably attached to the one that the St. James girls would deem, “un-hinged”.
What does it mean if I beat you on the biggest stage to ever exist?
Does it mean that I’ve somehow defeated my demons? Is that what you and your lap dog represent in this scenario?
While you drudge up my insecurities and try your best to make me an emotional basket case, you fail to see any sort of big picture. Whereas I am in this for the betterment of myself, the moving up in the pecking order, the ascent to one day soon be called champion, you’re here as fodder. You do not represent the demons of my past because you simply can’t measure up to them in the horror that they represent. You do not represent any sort of ascension in the ranks because again…you don’t measure up.
She plants her feet firmly on the mat and the rocking stops, and thank God, that damn creaking sound too.
I mean, compared to the last couple of weeks Ayla, although this match is on the Night of the Immortals card, it’s kind of a letdown for me. Before this week I was beating the Ruby Champion, or eliminating her from an Iron Maiden Match. I was taking chances, and although those chances resulted in failure, I took them because I knew they were necessary. I knew that I had to go above and beyond to take on someone the stature of Ana Valentine, and now? Now I face you…do you see the drop off?
She holds her hand high in the air, standing on her tippy toes.
Although Ana may be a bit of a self-obsessed egotist, her talents, her skills…they put her allllllll the way up here.
She brings her arm down and returns her hand to her side for the moment.
And then we have you. You too are self-obsessed. You too are a bit of an egotist. However, where you and Ana don’t compare is in the talent. Her talents have her at the top while yours…well, here’s an illustration of where your talents take you…
She takes a few steps toward me and then gets down on her knees, reaching up and pulling down the zipper to my shorts. She then drapes a smile on her face before pulling the zipper back up and rising to her feet.
No need to go any farther as you clearly get the picture as does everyone else.
Damn.
So that’s it though isn’t it? This match might be on the card for Night of the Immortals. We will be some of the first talents to compete on this grand stage…and yet this match in the scheme of things means nothing. There is no title on the line. I can’t even really say there’s pride on the line because quite frankly I don’t think you have any. So it all comes down to a simple grudge that you and your dim-witted friend have stirred up because you simply don’t know when to shut your mouth.
She shakes her head with a maniacal smile on her face.
I guess the world will thank me when I shut you up once and for all.
Not April…
ME! ME! ME! MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME…ME!
The screaming is linked to its personification as Alexis stomps around; throwing a temper tantrum that is rather unbecoming of her…even if she has a bit of a point.
April didn’t beat Mercedes three times…I DID!
April hasn’t been on TV all this time…I HAVE!
I mouth something off camera and she stops on a dime in the middle of her outburst…then aims it toward me.
What!? What do you mean calm down? I have every right in the freakin’ world to be mad right now. I mean, at least make it a Triple Threat…
But…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
No, instead, I get some stupid consolation prize. I guess according to the almighty powers that be I should just be happy that I’m on this grandioso card huh?
Well I’M NOT!
She stomps off toward a locker in the gym where she has her belongings. Don’t worry, it’s a private room, hence me being allowed in. As she yanks her clothes from the little locker, she continues rambling on.
I guess I should be happy that I get to face one of the mean girls right? The plastics of the IWF? I guess I should be grateful that I get to take out a bit more anger on them after what happened the last time we met right? I mean, the last time we physically met…I beat both of you up. Do you think I’m stupid?
With a tilt of her head to the right, accessorized with a glare, she reached toward the switch on the wall and flips it down creating a darkness in the room that was rivaled by no other.
Babe, move the camera to your right.
Carefully I turned, making sure not to trip on anything on the floor. As I did, the glowing green letters sprawled across the wall were revealed.
I KNOW IT WAS YOU!
She flips the lights back on as I turn the camera back to her. Her arms were crossed and she didn’t look all that amused.
Sure St. James…eses…or whatever the plural may be. Low…really low…even for two talentless sluts like yourselves. You know that one-on-one, clear-headed, neither of you worthless whores could beat me. You knew that you needed a psychological edge and I get that…I do. However, to pray on my fears, my legitimate fears from an event in my life that I try my hardest not to relive on a day to day basis is not only pathetic, but very unoriginal. It would be like me…waiting for you to fall asleep and then cutting your hair. It would be the equivalent…wait, let me help out your high school bitch brains…similar, to me giving you a face cream to help your skin look beautiful, only to put something in it that I know you’re highly allergic to so that your face breaks out with a bunch of tiny little bumps, and red patchiness.
She sarcastically shutters at the thought.
Because that’s how shallow you two are. That’s how simple minded the two of you are. Whereas you care about looks, boyfriends, and the latest gossip in Teen Magazine, the rest of us deal with real life issues. The rest of us in the world have bigger things to worry about than the latest rumor in a tabloid or who was best dressed at an award show. We don’t have time to obsess over our every little flaw because in the real world…our time is worth more than that.
She sits on the bench and starts lacing up a pair of Chuck Taylors, black with a lime green stitch to them, as she looks up at the camera.
I want you to know that your words have meaning and by having a meaning, they also have a consequence to them. You too sit there and make fun of everyone, and eventually, you’re going to piss off the wrong girl. Newsflash for the ignorant…I’m that girl. So while you’re making your accusations, while you’re pointing out my flaws to the world…I’ll be exploiting yours on the biggest stage we’ll ever have in this business. I’ll exploit them until every last bit is shown to the world, and then, like you tried to do to me for the last month…I’ll humiliate you and make you give up in front of the world. I will make you admit that you just weren’t good enough…and I’ll love every minute of it.
She finishes tying her shoes and grabs her bags to leave as the feed ends.
====================
“Relapse”
Darkness was everywhere. There wasn’t a bit of light to be seen in any direction. There was nothing but emptiness. Suddenly a light came on, shining down on a rocking chair. As it swayed back and forth it made a creaky sound. A little girl in blue pajamas appeared on the chair. She looked scared as she brought her tiny little knees up to hide her face as she continued to rock back and forth. As I got closer to her, she looked up, barely peeking over her knees, and from that slight peek, I saw her eyes and I realized that it was…
Me.
I got closer and closer and she ducked her head down again. Sounds of whimpering were heard from within her little self-cocoon as I got closer they got louder. I kneeled down in front of the younger version of me and reached out, stopping the rocking of the chair.
Sweetie, what’s wrong?
She continued sobbing, not bothering to look up at me. She was shaking like a leaf and just when it looked like there was no end in sight, I looked down, next to the chair, and out of nowhere appeared the same stuffed bear that I’ve kept with me all these years. It was the bear that gave me comfort whenever I needed it most. Picking it up, I handed it to the little girl who felt the soft touch of the stuffed animal and looked up. She reached out and took it from me. She cradled it against her chest, hugging it with a grip like none other. She looked up with the last few tears streaming down her face.
Thank you.
What made you so sad honey?
You…you said that it…it would never happen again.
That what would never happen again?
Before she could answer there was a loud pounding sound behind me that caused me to jump and snap around. The younger me clutched at the teddy bear and went back into her fetal state. The pounding happened again, louder and louder with each bang.
Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. I won’t let anything happen.
Through the pounding, I could hear her muffled voice.
That’s what you said last time.
I snapped my head around again.
What did she mean?
The pounding stopped instantly which caused me to cautiously kneel down again, this time beside the little girl in the chair.
What do you mean that’s what I said last time?
With the pounding gone, she looked up at me.
Last time the mean man came, you said you’d never let it happen again. You said you would never feel that way again…you wouldn’t let it happen…YOU LIED! LIAR! LIAR! LIARLIARLIARLIARLIAR!
Her voice grew from a soft mutter, to a harsh tone, especially for one so young, to an all-out screaming. I calmed her down by rocking the chair again. She looked up at me, again, tears flowing down her face.
Why?
Why what?
Why did you lie to me? Why did you let it happen again?
She started to cry uncontrollably. There was no stopping it. I held her clothes until the light disappeared and there was nothing but darkness again.
H-he-hello?
Frantically I looked from side to side. The little girl was gone. Are surrounding was gone. I was alone…in the dark, with no way of escape. I could feel my body temperature rising. I could feel the anxiety pulsing through my body until the light came on again. It was so bright that I went to shield my eyes, only to find out I was unable. My eyes soon adjusted as I looked down at my wrists…tied down to the chair again…I was there…again.
I snapped my head back and forth, and I pulled my arms away from the chair with all of my might but it was useless as I felt the fear rush over me again. The heat of the lamp was intense, just like that day. I could feel the beads of sweat dripping down from my forehead. I looked around and unlike the actual place I was held captive, there was no window, no door, there was no escape.
As I looked forward I heard footsteps. They got louder and louder as whoever they belonged to approached. I squinted my eyes and saw the same younger version of me from before. She was holding the teddy bear with one hand, dragging it along the floor as she got closer until she was right in front of me.
H…he…help me?
You lied. You told me that I would never be that afraid again.
The chair started to rock back and forth with me in it as I struggled. I was terrified. There was no way out and nothing I could do. I felt like the little girl under the bed when the hotel manager pounded on the door. I needed help and yet nobody was there to help me.
You said no. Then it happened again and again and again. You said you would make it stop and you didn’t.
I…I’m…I’m sorry!
Tears started to flow down my own eyes.
I didn’t mean to lie. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry! Please! Forgive me! I’ll do whatever I can. Just let me go…LET ME GOOOOOO!
I was in full panic mode, terrified, the tears running from my eyes like water from a broken dam. Through the watery, blurry vision, I watched as the little girl before me started to shimmer back and forth, growing in size, morphing into something completely different all together…IT WAS HIM!
NOOOOOOOOO! PLEEEEEEEEEEASE! DON’T HURT ME! PLEEEEEEASE!
It was Caleb…the man who took me. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head back, exposing my bare neck for all to see.
You were a terrified little girl then and you’re a terrified little girl now. It’s pathetic really, that you haven’t grown up after all this time. You thought you were better…thought you had moved on, but the scared little girl is and forever will be inside you until the end. Lucky for you…the end is now.
MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE HELLLLLLLLLLP! PLEASE!
The sound of the blade being removed from the sheath made my eyes bulge from my head. With a full hand of hair still firm in his grasp, he stepped behind me and put the blade to my throat. The cold steel was all too real. The tears leaving a warm trail on my face were all too real. I felt the blade slither across my throat and felt my final breaths.
He did this to you…remember that.
It seemed as if I took my last final breath before everything was sucked away with the opening of my eyes. I flew up into a seated position screaming at the top of my lungs for Mike, waking him up next to me.
What is it? Alexis?
I was covered in sweat and breathing heavier than I had ever breathed before in my entire life. I reached up for a moment and felt the rapidness of my heartbeat before running my fingers through my hair as Mike wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I was a frantic mess and he did his best to calm me down.
Shhhh. It’s okay babe. It was a nightmare. You’re fine. Nothing has happened to you.
My eyes shifted around. My ears heard him, but my brain didn’t trust him. Once I realized where I was and that he was right, the anxiety started to subside. My breathing began to regulate and my heartbeat began to slow.
There ya go. Just relax.
He rubbed his hand up and down my shoulder.
It…it was so real. I felt startled at the door pounding. I felt the heat of the lamp. I felt my last breath…
He pulled me in closer.
It’s all fine honey. None of it happened. It was only a nightmare.
I nodded as we slowly laid back on the pillows. I was in his arms and felt safe for the moment.
Nobody is ever going to hurt you again…I promise.
We laid back and I stared at the window as he placed his arm over my midsection, wrapping me up. He wanted to protect me…just like I said I would protect myself. If I failed…how could he succeed?
====================
So what does it mean Ayla?
The creaking of a rocking chair is heard as a light shines down in the center of a ring at the gym. We only see the front of the rocking legs as they appear and then disappear in and out of the picture, accompanied by a set of Chuck Taylors, presumably attached to the one that the St. James girls would deem, “un-hinged”.
What does it mean if I beat you on the biggest stage to ever exist?
Does it mean that I’ve somehow defeated my demons? Is that what you and your lap dog represent in this scenario?
While you drudge up my insecurities and try your best to make me an emotional basket case, you fail to see any sort of big picture. Whereas I am in this for the betterment of myself, the moving up in the pecking order, the ascent to one day soon be called champion, you’re here as fodder. You do not represent the demons of my past because you simply can’t measure up to them in the horror that they represent. You do not represent any sort of ascension in the ranks because again…you don’t measure up.
She plants her feet firmly on the mat and the rocking stops, and thank God, that damn creaking sound too.
I mean, compared to the last couple of weeks Ayla, although this match is on the Night of the Immortals card, it’s kind of a letdown for me. Before this week I was beating the Ruby Champion, or eliminating her from an Iron Maiden Match. I was taking chances, and although those chances resulted in failure, I took them because I knew they were necessary. I knew that I had to go above and beyond to take on someone the stature of Ana Valentine, and now? Now I face you…do you see the drop off?
She holds her hand high in the air, standing on her tippy toes.
Although Ana may be a bit of a self-obsessed egotist, her talents, her skills…they put her allllllll the way up here.
She brings her arm down and returns her hand to her side for the moment.
And then we have you. You too are self-obsessed. You too are a bit of an egotist. However, where you and Ana don’t compare is in the talent. Her talents have her at the top while yours…well, here’s an illustration of where your talents take you…
She takes a few steps toward me and then gets down on her knees, reaching up and pulling down the zipper to my shorts. She then drapes a smile on her face before pulling the zipper back up and rising to her feet.
No need to go any farther as you clearly get the picture as does everyone else.
Damn.
So that’s it though isn’t it? This match might be on the card for Night of the Immortals. We will be some of the first talents to compete on this grand stage…and yet this match in the scheme of things means nothing. There is no title on the line. I can’t even really say there’s pride on the line because quite frankly I don’t think you have any. So it all comes down to a simple grudge that you and your dim-witted friend have stirred up because you simply don’t know when to shut your mouth.
She shakes her head with a maniacal smile on her face.
I guess the world will thank me when I shut you up once and for all.
Well howdy there pardner.