Post by Ayla St. James on May 25, 2014 9:50:17 GMT
So we fade in on Ayla and Desiree, standing pretty as you please in some random room anywhere. They take a moment, and stare blank faced at the camera, then turn back to one another, then back to the camera, back at one another one last time, then back to the camera.
Ayla St. James: Think we touched a nerve?
Desiree St. James: I think we got all of them. Man, she sounds really fired up.
Ayla St. James: I know, I mean it was her for real serious face this time.
Desiree St. James: Almost like we planned it.
The deadpan stare at one another, then back at the camera. The sarcasm in the room right now is so thick you can cut it with Popeil knife, or a slap chop at the very least. They wait exactly three seconds, then in unison, palms hit foreheads and slowly draw down their faces.
Ayla St. James: You know it was us? You don't know a damn thing, Lexy. That's a fact that shines through each and every word that comes out of your mouth. You're guessing, assuming even...
Desiree St. James: You know what they say about assuming, makes an ass out of you.. and well.. just you, actually.
Ayla St. James: But, yea, I'll admit it. It totally was. So congratulations on solving the kindergarten level puzzle. We did it for a desired effect, and it worked to two hundred percent. But here you are, all piss and vinegar about it. So concerned with the pride hit you took for falling for a sight gag that you failed to see the ultimate point.
Desiree St. James: That happens far too often around here.
Ayla St. James: While you're over there, trying to cover your insecurities with this epic bravado speech and "I'll show you, you'll see" nonsense, you aren't even close to an answer as to what you should actually be doing about your problems.
Desiree St. James: Which is not, yelling at Mike, by the by.
Ayla St. James: I mean, you can run around all day throwing around accomplishments about who you beat like that has anything to do with it.
Desiree St. James: Hint; it doesn't.
Ayla St. James: You can keep throwing out that word plastic like you have any clue what it means. You want to know the only "plastic" metaphorical thing in this room right now? Right here.
Double finger point at Aylas breasts. This is why I love this job.
Ayla St. James: That's it. How many times am I going to hear this? Oh you're so fake and mean. Why? Because your feelings are hurt? Fuck your feelings. If you seriously thought you could become a professional wrestler without someone being mean to you, then just hit yourself with a brick because it's so much harder than this. Oh waaahhh someone said mean things about me.. what the hell are you 12?
Desiree St. James: Probably paused watching Vampire Diaries on netflix to tune into this.
Ayla St. James: This isn't.. when was it?
Desiree St. James: 2010 I think.
Ayla St. James: This isn't 2010 anymore, when naive little Ayla walked into nCw and tried to mask her fears of failure behind snarky commentary. Every since I walked back in this door, every word that comes out of my mouth is how I see things. So, what.. I'm fake because you can't handle someone talking about you? How arrogant can you be?
Desiree St. James: I think someone should rescind her ability to refer to as any other human being as stupid, until she has earned it again by not being so.
Ayla St. James: But there you are, crying because someone else got what you think you deserved. Crying to make to protect you from all the mean people of the world. Crying instead of facing up the fact that you're supposed to be a grown up, supposed to be a professional wrestler, and should be more than capable of dealing with your own problems.
Ayla gave a slight sigh of frustration, tapping her temples with the palms of her hands as if a headache was coming.
Ayla St. James: You want to be Taylor Swift forever 13 for the rest of your life? That's your business. But if you're going to do that here, you should at least get over this arrogant idea that I have to be respectful of some barely out of diapers tantrum throwing kid, no matter how many matches you win.
Desiree St. James: I also hate to be the bearer of bad news..
Spoiler warning: she does not hate that.
Desiree St. James: But winning this match won't mean you've overcome anything. Because we aren't your problem.
Ayla St. James: Your problem is that you don't know how to stand up by yourself. People have been mean to each other since people existed. Hell it's a part of our job ninety percent of the time. People like us, accept it, move on and make fun of you for being childish and or stupid.
Desiree St. James: People like you go apeshit, throw temper tantrums and administer..
Synchronized finger quotes from both ladies.
Desiree St. James: "Beatings". If you're idea of a beating is flailing your arms at us for thirty seconds before security breaks it up, then well.. maybe someone should get you an Oxford dictionary for christmas.
Ayla St. James: So please Alexis.. please.. give me all of your anger.. all of your hate. Show the entire planet that you're so immature and gullible that you can be goaded into just about anything. Because regardless of whether you win or lose, you'll go back to being you, and well from where I'm standing, being you isn't all that good.
Desiree St. James: Heavin forbid you do win, that'll just make things worse. Still won't solve any of your problems, and feed your infantile ego as well. Can you imagine dropping just a little more ego into her bucket?
Ayla St. James: Not really, it's near bursting as is. It's why April is getting her shot and you aren't, because IWF remembers those who strive to be rather than cry about what they think they deserve. It's something people learn by about month two, apparently you're more hard headed than most.
Ayla gave a tired shrug.
Ayla St. James: I realized a long time ago I wasn't a perfect person, that I had things to learn, that I would go through darkness and the only way to meaningfully move past it was to do it on your own. I've broken myself out of my own prison more than a few times.
Desiree St. James: You want an answer? There it is. Just to prove we aren't as mean as you think, you can even have that one for free.
Ayla St. James: Or go on another stupid rant using words you don't even know the meaning to, because when it's all said and done, you won't have any peace at all until you stop trying to play pretty princess waiting for her white knight. Or ignore everything and keep doing what you do. I mean, what do I know?
Desiree St. James: I mean, you have all the answers, don't you? Oh, wait, nope.. my mistake.
Ayla St. James: That's not being mean, or fake.. it's the truth, whether you like hearing it or not. No amount of why not me will change any of it. You're gonna have to come to terms with it sooner or later.
Desiree St. James: Maybe we're just trying to speed things along. Now, how is that mean?
Ayla St. James: I mean, really?
They turn, and walk off camera.
-------------------------------------
Later, after a workout, Ayla was leaning against the railing. She hadn't said much during the workout, something clearly plaguing her mind. Now, with a moments peace, she had all the time in the world to think. Words echoed around in her head.
"I'm not going to mince words, ladies. This is a wrestling school, not a day spa or a beauty camp. I'm not going to simply teach you moves to win matches nooo, I'm going to teach you the skills you need to make a career out of this. Because they will not always be one in the same."
I didn't really know what he meant. How could I? Watching it on TV isn't anywhere close to how it is.[/i]
Ayla sighed, closed her eyes, and leaned her forehead against her hands on the railing. Desiree walked to the door behind her, reaching down for the handle when she saw her partner standing there.
"You're going to learn very fast that it's a horrible business, literally built to break new wrestlers. The ones who make it, have a place and a chance, the ones who break fall back into their meaningless lives and will forever lament their crushed dreams. Anyone who thinks the road will be hard, there's the door, because hard isn't even close of a word to describe it."
Maybe I should have left then, maybe I should have just left Canada and tried to make it in the states. Sure, I might still be waiting tables in Hollywood, waiting for my break, but would it have been less painful? That, I don't know.[/i]
Desiree opened the door and slipped out, taking the space next to her as silent as a ghost.
"The only one who could ever decide if you truly fail, is you. The power is within you to do great things, or let the chance slip by out of fear of failure. I can't make that decision for you, all I can do is give you the tools to make it yourselves. So, anyone already ready to quit? No? Well, some of you will after today. Let's begin."
I'm like anyone else, I think about how things might have been if I made differenct choices. But I have no regrets. Only three women made it through that class, including me, and the other two have since given up wrestling for good. As much as people say I should, I'm here, and I'll keep doing this, because this is what I want to do.
Desiree St. James: We're doing the right thing, you know.
Ayla's reverie was broken, but she didn't look up, merely made an acknowledging gesture with her hand.
Ayla St. James: Never doubted that for a second. I just hope it doesn't go unappreciated.
Desiree St. James: Does it really matter if it does?
Ayla St. James: ....I suppose it doesn't. Shall we go?
Desiree St. James: Yes.
The pair walked off.
I don't wrestle to be loved, admired, or cherished. I don't wrestle to be hated, despised or forgotten. I do it, because this is what I want to do. I think, deep down, you do too. You just need a little push. Well...
wish granted.
Ayla St. James: Think we touched a nerve?
Desiree St. James: I think we got all of them. Man, she sounds really fired up.
Ayla St. James: I know, I mean it was her for real serious face this time.
Desiree St. James: Almost like we planned it.
The deadpan stare at one another, then back at the camera. The sarcasm in the room right now is so thick you can cut it with Popeil knife, or a slap chop at the very least. They wait exactly three seconds, then in unison, palms hit foreheads and slowly draw down their faces.
Ayla St. James: You know it was us? You don't know a damn thing, Lexy. That's a fact that shines through each and every word that comes out of your mouth. You're guessing, assuming even...
Desiree St. James: You know what they say about assuming, makes an ass out of you.. and well.. just you, actually.
Ayla St. James: But, yea, I'll admit it. It totally was. So congratulations on solving the kindergarten level puzzle. We did it for a desired effect, and it worked to two hundred percent. But here you are, all piss and vinegar about it. So concerned with the pride hit you took for falling for a sight gag that you failed to see the ultimate point.
Desiree St. James: That happens far too often around here.
Ayla St. James: While you're over there, trying to cover your insecurities with this epic bravado speech and "I'll show you, you'll see" nonsense, you aren't even close to an answer as to what you should actually be doing about your problems.
Desiree St. James: Which is not, yelling at Mike, by the by.
Ayla St. James: I mean, you can run around all day throwing around accomplishments about who you beat like that has anything to do with it.
Desiree St. James: Hint; it doesn't.
Ayla St. James: You can keep throwing out that word plastic like you have any clue what it means. You want to know the only "plastic" metaphorical thing in this room right now? Right here.
Double finger point at Aylas breasts. This is why I love this job.
Ayla St. James: That's it. How many times am I going to hear this? Oh you're so fake and mean. Why? Because your feelings are hurt? Fuck your feelings. If you seriously thought you could become a professional wrestler without someone being mean to you, then just hit yourself with a brick because it's so much harder than this. Oh waaahhh someone said mean things about me.. what the hell are you 12?
Desiree St. James: Probably paused watching Vampire Diaries on netflix to tune into this.
Ayla St. James: This isn't.. when was it?
Desiree St. James: 2010 I think.
Ayla St. James: This isn't 2010 anymore, when naive little Ayla walked into nCw and tried to mask her fears of failure behind snarky commentary. Every since I walked back in this door, every word that comes out of my mouth is how I see things. So, what.. I'm fake because you can't handle someone talking about you? How arrogant can you be?
Desiree St. James: I think someone should rescind her ability to refer to as any other human being as stupid, until she has earned it again by not being so.
Ayla St. James: But there you are, crying because someone else got what you think you deserved. Crying to make to protect you from all the mean people of the world. Crying instead of facing up the fact that you're supposed to be a grown up, supposed to be a professional wrestler, and should be more than capable of dealing with your own problems.
Ayla gave a slight sigh of frustration, tapping her temples with the palms of her hands as if a headache was coming.
Ayla St. James: You want to be Taylor Swift forever 13 for the rest of your life? That's your business. But if you're going to do that here, you should at least get over this arrogant idea that I have to be respectful of some barely out of diapers tantrum throwing kid, no matter how many matches you win.
Desiree St. James: I also hate to be the bearer of bad news..
Spoiler warning: she does not hate that.
Desiree St. James: But winning this match won't mean you've overcome anything. Because we aren't your problem.
Ayla St. James: Your problem is that you don't know how to stand up by yourself. People have been mean to each other since people existed. Hell it's a part of our job ninety percent of the time. People like us, accept it, move on and make fun of you for being childish and or stupid.
Desiree St. James: People like you go apeshit, throw temper tantrums and administer..
Synchronized finger quotes from both ladies.
Desiree St. James: "Beatings". If you're idea of a beating is flailing your arms at us for thirty seconds before security breaks it up, then well.. maybe someone should get you an Oxford dictionary for christmas.
Ayla St. James: So please Alexis.. please.. give me all of your anger.. all of your hate. Show the entire planet that you're so immature and gullible that you can be goaded into just about anything. Because regardless of whether you win or lose, you'll go back to being you, and well from where I'm standing, being you isn't all that good.
Desiree St. James: Heavin forbid you do win, that'll just make things worse. Still won't solve any of your problems, and feed your infantile ego as well. Can you imagine dropping just a little more ego into her bucket?
Ayla St. James: Not really, it's near bursting as is. It's why April is getting her shot and you aren't, because IWF remembers those who strive to be rather than cry about what they think they deserve. It's something people learn by about month two, apparently you're more hard headed than most.
Ayla gave a tired shrug.
Ayla St. James: I realized a long time ago I wasn't a perfect person, that I had things to learn, that I would go through darkness and the only way to meaningfully move past it was to do it on your own. I've broken myself out of my own prison more than a few times.
Desiree St. James: You want an answer? There it is. Just to prove we aren't as mean as you think, you can even have that one for free.
Ayla St. James: Or go on another stupid rant using words you don't even know the meaning to, because when it's all said and done, you won't have any peace at all until you stop trying to play pretty princess waiting for her white knight. Or ignore everything and keep doing what you do. I mean, what do I know?
Desiree St. James: I mean, you have all the answers, don't you? Oh, wait, nope.. my mistake.
Ayla St. James: That's not being mean, or fake.. it's the truth, whether you like hearing it or not. No amount of why not me will change any of it. You're gonna have to come to terms with it sooner or later.
Desiree St. James: Maybe we're just trying to speed things along. Now, how is that mean?
Ayla St. James: I mean, really?
They turn, and walk off camera.
-------------------------------------
Later, after a workout, Ayla was leaning against the railing. She hadn't said much during the workout, something clearly plaguing her mind. Now, with a moments peace, she had all the time in the world to think. Words echoed around in her head.
"I'm not going to mince words, ladies. This is a wrestling school, not a day spa or a beauty camp. I'm not going to simply teach you moves to win matches nooo, I'm going to teach you the skills you need to make a career out of this. Because they will not always be one in the same."
I didn't really know what he meant. How could I? Watching it on TV isn't anywhere close to how it is.[/i]
Ayla sighed, closed her eyes, and leaned her forehead against her hands on the railing. Desiree walked to the door behind her, reaching down for the handle when she saw her partner standing there.
"You're going to learn very fast that it's a horrible business, literally built to break new wrestlers. The ones who make it, have a place and a chance, the ones who break fall back into their meaningless lives and will forever lament their crushed dreams. Anyone who thinks the road will be hard, there's the door, because hard isn't even close of a word to describe it."
Maybe I should have left then, maybe I should have just left Canada and tried to make it in the states. Sure, I might still be waiting tables in Hollywood, waiting for my break, but would it have been less painful? That, I don't know.[/i]
Desiree opened the door and slipped out, taking the space next to her as silent as a ghost.
"The only one who could ever decide if you truly fail, is you. The power is within you to do great things, or let the chance slip by out of fear of failure. I can't make that decision for you, all I can do is give you the tools to make it yourselves. So, anyone already ready to quit? No? Well, some of you will after today. Let's begin."
I'm like anyone else, I think about how things might have been if I made differenct choices. But I have no regrets. Only three women made it through that class, including me, and the other two have since given up wrestling for good. As much as people say I should, I'm here, and I'll keep doing this, because this is what I want to do.
Desiree St. James: We're doing the right thing, you know.
Ayla's reverie was broken, but she didn't look up, merely made an acknowledging gesture with her hand.
Ayla St. James: Never doubted that for a second. I just hope it doesn't go unappreciated.
Desiree St. James: Does it really matter if it does?
Ayla St. James: ....I suppose it doesn't. Shall we go?
Desiree St. James: Yes.
The pair walked off.
I don't wrestle to be loved, admired, or cherished. I don't wrestle to be hated, despised or forgotten. I do it, because this is what I want to do. I think, deep down, you do too. You just need a little push. Well...
wish granted.
Well howdy there pardner.