Post by Eternity on Jun 18, 2014 23:08:59 GMT
You find yourself once again plunged into near darkness. You were used it by now. You knew if you stayed here long enough, you would soon find me here again, as you always did - eventually. Your heart picks up its pace slightly and you feel it pulse through the blood vessels in your ears. Your senses come to life, ignited by a healthy mix of fear and apprehension.
A moment or two of tense anticipation pass before a couple of small white lights appear ahead of you.
You breathe a sigh of relief, you were not alone after all.
A chorus of familiar voices beckon you onward. The Angels - or should that be Sirens sing, luring you towards the lights.
Like a moth to flame you are compelled to move on, drawn ever closer to those little lights of your salvation.
Suddenly everything you thought you understood falls away and it is now a quartet of foreign tongues that seduce you on your way to your final destination. Towards the lights. Towards the answers.
You see faint wisps of purple smoke flirting with the lights in the distance.
Almost as suddenly as they had begun their mysterious whispers, the voices now fall silent and you find yourself before a four foot square illuminated glass display case. The purple smoke snakes silently between your legs as you peer inside. A soft royal blue velvet interior, a pillow of luxury upon which rests the crown jewel of the Diamonds Division.
The nameplate is still blank, as it has been for weeks now. You didn't understand why, and maybe you never would. It was that enduring sense of mystery between us that kept bringing us back into each other's lives.
Something flutters just beyond the glass. Quick enough to catch your attention, but too quick for you to register what it was.
You press your nose against the glass, your eyes dart around looking for it. You don't see it.
Where was it?
What was it?
For a moment, but only for a moment you wondered if it was just a figment of your disturbed imagination.
I know how you feel, my love. I have always known...
A moment or two of tense anticipation pass before a couple of small white lights appear ahead of you.
You breathe a sigh of relief, you were not alone after all.
A chorus of familiar voices beckon you onward. The Angels - or should that be Sirens sing, luring you towards the lights.
I'll save you from yourself
From those demons of the night
They promise fame and fortune
All that you eagerly desire
Like a moth to flame you are compelled to move on, drawn ever closer to those little lights of your salvation.
I'll save you from yourself
From those voices calling you
Sell your soul to Evil
Then you'll be dancing forever...
Suddenly everything you thought you understood falls away and it is now a quartet of foreign tongues that seduce you on your way to your final destination. Towards the lights. Towards the answers.
You see faint wisps of purple smoke flirting with the lights in the distance.
Omen tore
Legoli senta
Omenima
Interi
Amen tore
Legoli senta
Arene loma
Legoli senta
Almost as suddenly as they had begun their mysterious whispers, the voices now fall silent and you find yourself before a four foot square illuminated glass display case. The purple smoke snakes silently between your legs as you peer inside. A soft royal blue velvet interior, a pillow of luxury upon which rests the crown jewel of the Diamonds Division.
The IWF Diamonds Championship
The nameplate is still blank, as it has been for weeks now. You didn't understand why, and maybe you never would. It was that enduring sense of mystery between us that kept bringing us back into each other's lives.
Something flutters just beyond the glass. Quick enough to catch your attention, but too quick for you to register what it was.
You press your nose against the glass, your eyes dart around looking for it. You don't see it.
Where was it?
What was it?
For a moment, but only for a moment you wondered if it was just a figment of your disturbed imagination.
I know how you feel, my love. I have always known...
*****
A light brown moth dances in the light around the Championship.
You press your nose and your palms against the glass, absorbed by the beauty of a natural reaction you didn't fully understand.
HehehehehehuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
A chilling laughter echoes around you as you see me on the other side of the display case, wearing the hooded England flag.
You see me pull the hood down and reveal the golden tiara that was nestled in my ruby red hair. You see a perfect little red dot between my eyes.
A bindi to most, but a very deliberate target painted for Alexis Caffrey. This much you knew.
A laser sight awaiting her to step up and take her shot.
If she could.
With both hands you see me slowly lift the tiara from my head and place it neatly on top of the glass display case.
You see me grin.
My dear, sweet, lost little lamb. How in the devil are you, my angel? So many people have told me so much about you. Things I know simply cannot be true. They can never be true of MY daughter. MY daughter is not unwell. MY daughter is not crazy. I KNOW this because they say the very same things about me.
Like mother, like daughter they say.
But WE know we're not crazy, don't we my darling? Of course we know. Of course we know! I know as I have always known. Mother knows best. Mother always knows best. Yes, she does. Yes, she does! I know you even better than you know yourself my dear, I always have.
You are not crazy.
You see me shake my head.
NO, YOU'RE NOT! You are not.
You are just obsessed. There is nothing wrong with that. Absolutely nothing, my love. But they just don't understand, they never have. They don't understand the difference between the crazy and the obsessed. They just don't understand the difference between us and them, and for their ignorance, we drive them mad.
HehehehehemuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEE!
Isn't it ironic? IT'S LIKE RA-HAAAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY! IT'S LIKE TEN THOUSAND SPOONS WHEN ALL YOU NEED IS A KNIFE! WHEN YOU WANT A BOY, IT'S A GIIIRRRRRRRLLLLLLL!
Isn't that right, Alanis? I mean Alexis, I'm always doing that. A slip of the tongue, I'm sorry. I apologise for confusing one one hit wonder for another. That's not really fair, it's not your fault she can sing, after all. You have been drawn to me for a long time now, haven't you my child? And who can blame you? I am pretty damn great!
If anything, I'm touched. You have no idea how much this all means to me. To know that after all we've been through, my baby girl still wants and still yearns to follow in her mommy's footsteps. Parenting - I am doing it right!
Don't worry sweetheart. Mommy is here for you. Mommy will always be here for you, to carry you, to raise you up when you fall - but not too high, no, not too high now. We must be careful. We must learn to walk before we can run, Lexi. I want to see you run one day. I want to see you conquer the world one day. I want to see you stand on your own two feet one day.
Because one day you will not have a choice. Because one day I will not be here. One day I will not be able to pick you up when you stumble and you fall, and before that day dawns, I need to know you will be okay, I need to know my little girl will make it on her own. I know it sounds silly, but that's all any mother wants for her baby.
And you are and always will be my baby, my little Alexis.
Don't ever be afraid to fall. Yes, sometimes it hurts, but that's life, sweetie. Sometimes though, the most beautiful things happen in a fall. Nature shows us some of her greatest colours, the reds, the oranges and the golden browns. Once a year even Mother Nature herself grows bored with being green, she turns gold.
Just like you want to, I know. I know. That is your obsession. We all have them honey child, the trick is to embrace them completely, no matter what anybody else says or thinks. You don't need to give up your nightmares to chase your dreams, look at me babe, I never did and I turned out just fine.
Don't worry about Mike either, if he can't accept you for everything you are, and everything I know you can be, then frankly my dear, he doesn't deserve you. You are a beautiful little flower Alexis, but like any flower you cannot truly grow until you learn to embrace the rain as well as the sun. The seeds have been planted in the soil my love, now it's time to allow them to take hold.
Embrace the madness.
Accept who you can be.
You can be crazy, and crazy can be beautiful.
That's all I've ever wanted you to realise, my daughter. I do so hope you find peace wherever you are. I hope you find your way back home to me. I miss you. Come home, come home soon, your garden needs tending.
You see me move the tiara, it scrapes along the glass, screaming for her to stop.
Come home Alexis, we have so much to do...and we've only just begun to scratch the surface of your deepest obsessions...
You are left to ponder the shallow scratch on the surface of the glass and watch the moth excitedly bounce off the glass for a few moments before purple smoke gathers to obscure the scene and take all you perceive to be important away from you.
It is in that moment that you sympathise with the plight of Alexis Caffrey.
A little girl lies. Perhaps to sleep. Perchance to dream. Listening for silence somewhere, anywhere among her deafening grief. Nurses attach sticky pads to her fingers and to her chest bringing the machines to life as they beep, keeping time with the rhythm of her life.
Somebody else administers the anaesthetic whilst she clings on to a rubber tongue guard between her teeth. Her own tongue is held,and she hopes soon very soon, the others would follow. An oxygen mask is lowered onto her face. She registers the name on the bold yellow label 'Propofol' before she is carried into the silence and darkness that lay beyond her own active mind.
The doctor then administers a muscle relaxant before attaching an electrode to either side of her head. The current is set to 80 volts and the electricity pulses through her brain, her muscles stiffen and twitch involuntarily, but still her body sleeps. Behind closed eyes, the spark ignites, setting her mind alight.
Behind dead eyes, her mind is still alive.
Beyond the glass, she dances and she dreams.
*****
Suddenly you see it. It was all so clear. You weren't crazy after all.A light brown moth dances in the light around the Championship.
You press your nose and your palms against the glass, absorbed by the beauty of a natural reaction you didn't fully understand.
HehehehehehuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
A chilling laughter echoes around you as you see me on the other side of the display case, wearing the hooded England flag.
You see me pull the hood down and reveal the golden tiara that was nestled in my ruby red hair. You see a perfect little red dot between my eyes.
A bindi to most, but a very deliberate target painted for Alexis Caffrey. This much you knew.
A laser sight awaiting her to step up and take her shot.
If she could.
With both hands you see me slowly lift the tiara from my head and place it neatly on top of the glass display case.
You see me grin.
My dear, sweet, lost little lamb. How in the devil are you, my angel? So many people have told me so much about you. Things I know simply cannot be true. They can never be true of MY daughter. MY daughter is not unwell. MY daughter is not crazy. I KNOW this because they say the very same things about me.
Like mother, like daughter they say.
But WE know we're not crazy, don't we my darling? Of course we know. Of course we know! I know as I have always known. Mother knows best. Mother always knows best. Yes, she does. Yes, she does! I know you even better than you know yourself my dear, I always have.
You are not crazy.
You see me shake my head.
NO, YOU'RE NOT! You are not.
You are just obsessed. There is nothing wrong with that. Absolutely nothing, my love. But they just don't understand, they never have. They don't understand the difference between the crazy and the obsessed. They just don't understand the difference between us and them, and for their ignorance, we drive them mad.
HehehehehemuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEE!
Isn't it ironic? IT'S LIKE RA-HAAAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY! IT'S LIKE TEN THOUSAND SPOONS WHEN ALL YOU NEED IS A KNIFE! WHEN YOU WANT A BOY, IT'S A GIIIRRRRRRRLLLLLLL!
Isn't that right, Alanis? I mean Alexis, I'm always doing that. A slip of the tongue, I'm sorry. I apologise for confusing one one hit wonder for another. That's not really fair, it's not your fault she can sing, after all. You have been drawn to me for a long time now, haven't you my child? And who can blame you? I am pretty damn great!
If anything, I'm touched. You have no idea how much this all means to me. To know that after all we've been through, my baby girl still wants and still yearns to follow in her mommy's footsteps. Parenting - I am doing it right!
Don't worry sweetheart. Mommy is here for you. Mommy will always be here for you, to carry you, to raise you up when you fall - but not too high, no, not too high now. We must be careful. We must learn to walk before we can run, Lexi. I want to see you run one day. I want to see you conquer the world one day. I want to see you stand on your own two feet one day.
Because one day you will not have a choice. Because one day I will not be here. One day I will not be able to pick you up when you stumble and you fall, and before that day dawns, I need to know you will be okay, I need to know my little girl will make it on her own. I know it sounds silly, but that's all any mother wants for her baby.
And you are and always will be my baby, my little Alexis.
Don't ever be afraid to fall. Yes, sometimes it hurts, but that's life, sweetie. Sometimes though, the most beautiful things happen in a fall. Nature shows us some of her greatest colours, the reds, the oranges and the golden browns. Once a year even Mother Nature herself grows bored with being green, she turns gold.
Just like you want to, I know. I know. That is your obsession. We all have them honey child, the trick is to embrace them completely, no matter what anybody else says or thinks. You don't need to give up your nightmares to chase your dreams, look at me babe, I never did and I turned out just fine.
Don't worry about Mike either, if he can't accept you for everything you are, and everything I know you can be, then frankly my dear, he doesn't deserve you. You are a beautiful little flower Alexis, but like any flower you cannot truly grow until you learn to embrace the rain as well as the sun. The seeds have been planted in the soil my love, now it's time to allow them to take hold.
Embrace the madness.
Accept who you can be.
You can be crazy, and crazy can be beautiful.
That's all I've ever wanted you to realise, my daughter. I do so hope you find peace wherever you are. I hope you find your way back home to me. I miss you. Come home, come home soon, your garden needs tending.
You see me move the tiara, it scrapes along the glass, screaming for her to stop.
Come home Alexis, we have so much to do...and we've only just begun to scratch the surface of your deepest obsessions...
You are left to ponder the shallow scratch on the surface of the glass and watch the moth excitedly bounce off the glass for a few moments before purple smoke gathers to obscure the scene and take all you perceive to be important away from you.
It is in that moment that you sympathise with the plight of Alexis Caffrey.
Well howdy there pardner.