Post by Jake Keeton on Jun 9, 2013 22:02:46 GMT
You keep setting them up, and I’ll keep knocking them down. I’ve never been one to toot my own horn but toot toot mutha… yeah I’m not going there. IWF is getting a taste of those legendary stories about what happens when Jake Keeton is motivated. Even unmotivated I’m dangerous but when I’m this motivated ain’t nobody stopin’ me, and you can take that to the bank.
I honestly don’t know what it is that has me feelin’ this way either. Is It the opportunities such as the one I’ve got this week to step in the ring with the truly elite performers in this industry like Spike Kane? Is it the chance to face unknown, at least to me, yet equally impressive guys like Mike Laszlo and Gjenrei down the line? Is it maybe getting to team with my old friend Brad Kane in the future? Or is it the possibility of shoving my boot up Alex Jones ass at some point like so many people seem to want to do?
I’d have to say it’s all of that and more, but I’m just gonna take it a week at a time. Which leads me to my match this week against the previously mentioned Spike Kane and Stephen Kingsley. It’s like that old “Which one of these is not like the other?” games from childhood. In this case that answer is obviously Mr. Kingsley who unlike Spike and myself is well above the average height for an adult male, yet well below the average skill level of two of the best wrestlers that have ever stepped foot inside a wrestling ring.
I don’t know much about you Stephen besides you’re big, ugly, and come from Australia. I know from a quick check of your bio on the IWF website that you’re mainly a tag team guy who relies heavily on punch kick punch kick to get through a match. I can brawl with the best of’em Stephen, but please don’t think for a second that I will stand and trade with you because you’re almost a foot taller than me and over 100lbs heavier and my Mama didn’t raise no fool. I won’t be as bold as our other opponent and call you a joke cause you’re big, really big and your size alone is enough for anyone to take you serious. I’ve faced men your size or larger and won though. It’s all about strategy, I’m gonna chop you down like a tree and take your legs out from under you. Then when you’re on your knees, you know right around my height, I’m either gonna elbow you in the face or slap on a D’Arce Choke so tight you’ll wish one of those Crocs back home had a hold of your ass. Either option means you’re takin’ a nap, big boy.
That’s when this becomes a wrestling match and two bonafide stars are standing face to face inside the ring and every single person inside the Sears Center or parked in front of their TV set gets that chill that runs all the way up their spine and they know they’re about to witness something special. Jake Keeton vs. Spike Kane is a match that many people have listed as their dream match, yeah it’s happened before but never in front of the kind of audience that will witness it on Monday night so as far as I’m concerned the last time doesn’t even count. This is the first time it’s happened for real, and we may be saddled with Steve Irwin’s mentally challenged big brother but he’ll be sleeping.
I guess I must have got off on the wrong foot around here because I showed no respect at all to my opponents the first week. Anyone who thinks that’s me has got me all wrong because I have no problem at all showing respect where it’s due there just wasn’t any due that week. This week however the level of respect I’m taking into the ring with me is working overtime cause I don’t hold many people in this business in a higher regard than I do Spike Kane. We’ve both been doing this for what seems like forever, we’ve been champions all over the World. We’ve been the most hated and most beloved by the fans at different points in our careers. We’ve simply walked very similar paths in the wrestling world and even to a lesser extent outside the ring with our struggles with addiction.
There has to come a point though where the similarities stop and the WE becomes YOU and I, Spike. I am the best wrestler alive, and after Sacrifice this week maybe you’ll be able to admit that too. You can beat me, it’s just not happening this week because I want it more. I intend to be the Imperial Champion and the face of this promotion while you seem to be content to languish in the tag team ranks. I’m not saying that the real life buddy movie starring you and Rob Diamond isn’t insanely entertaining, I’m just at the point in my career where my desire to be the best and to prove that I am is the most important thing to me besides my family. If I get to face legends like you along the way and have a lil fun that’s just an added bonus.
We’re gonna put on a show for the ages Monday night Spike, there’s a possibility that we wake a sleeping giant along the way and he makes us both eat our words but that’s highly unlikely. If things go as planned though we’ll send the fans home happy and you’ll have a match you can be proud of even in defeat.
It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon in Lexington, KY and the Keeton family are gathered out in the back yard enjoying the weather. Jake is in front of the grill flipping burgers, while a bikini clad Kassie is getting some sun, and finally J.C. is playing with the new family pet, a 6 month old Pitbull/Boston Terrier named Harley. J.C. throws a stick that lands near Jake’s feet and the puppy runs towards but stops a few feet shy and begins barking at the elder Keeton.
J.C.: She wants you to throw it back, Dad.
Jake bends down to pick up the stick and the barks turn to growls and Jake stands back up.
Jake: I’m not so sure, she sounds like she wants to eat my face.
J.C. walks over and takes a hold of the puppy’s collar.
J.C.: Go ahead and pick up the stick, chicken, I won’t let the 18lb pup maul you too bad.
Jake bends down once again and with her teeth showing and growling and snarling Harley does everything in her power to get away from J.C.
J.C.: Maybe you’re right, I’ve heard animals can sense evil.
Jake: Hey I’m not evil.
J.C.: Bull crap, grounding me 6 months in the 4th grade for getting a C on my report card isn’t evil?
Jake: Did you ever get another one?
J.C.: Well no.
Jake: Then it wasn’t evil. Take that hell hound back down in the yard, I got some burgers to cook.
J.C.: Whatever, I should let her bite you.
J.C. laughs as Jake throws the stick and J.C. turns Harley loose and she goes chasing after it with him close behind.
Jake: How do the burgers smell baby?
Kassie: Scrumptious! I’m starving.
Suddenly you can hear a car pulling the driveway with unidentifiable rap music bumping.
Jake: What the hell is that?
Kassie reaches back and reties the top to her red bikini before getting up and walking over to peek around the corner of the house.
Kassie: I don’t know who it is honey, It’s some black guy. Looks like he’s going to the front door.
Jake: Can you keep an eye my burgers? I’ll go check it out.
Jake goes in the house and walks to the front door. He opens the door to see Julius King preparing to knock.
Julius: Jake! Just the man I was looking for, I got some good news, partner.
Jake steps out on the porch, furious at the sight of the scummy agent.
Jake: What the hell are you doing at my home? I told you I didn’t want my family to know about our agreement.
Julius: You ain’t gotta tell’em I was here.
Jake: My wife saw you!
Julius: Oh damn, my bad dawg. Well just tell her sweet ass that I was lost and looking for directions.
Jake: Yeah she won’t buy that, and how many times do I have to tell you to watch your mouth about her? I’ll think of something though. What the hell do you want Jules?
Julius: I’m moving! Just rented a lil office with a nice crib above it over on the other side of Lexington. I thought it’d be easier for business if I was closer to my investment.
Jake: Why? You don’t have to do anything, and I’ll just keep sending you checks. The less I see you the better off we are.
Julius: Oh buy I feel like I need to take a more proactive approach to your career, I’ve got a few suggestions for your match this week as a matter of fact.
Jake just shakes his head, half amused and half frustrated.
Jake: Are you kidding me? This is gonna be the toughest match I’ve had thus far in IWF and I’m supposed to listen to you? Fine, I’ll humor you, what’s your suggestion?
Julius: Lay low, there seems to be a lot of anger between the other two so let the big foreign cat beat down the other dude and then you swoop in and steal the pin. It’s brilliant; you didn’t know you were working for a damn genius did you Jake?
Jake: Well I can tell you that you’re certainly not the first person that’s thought of that idea in a triple threat match, but I’m the best wrestler alive so I don’t have to capitalize on someone else’s hard work.
Julius: Whatever dawg, just don’t come crying to me if you lose. Damn, here comes your old lady I better get to steppin’…
Too late. Jake looks back to see Kassie through the glass in the door. He turns and opens the door planting a big kiss on her.
Jake: Hey honey, how are the burgers?
Kassie: They’re done, I’m starving. Who’s this?
Jake: Oh this… this is Julius, we’re old friends. We grew up together and were on the basketball team in High School.
Kassie: Really? I’ve never heard you mention him before.
Jake: He…
Julius: I moved away, been living out in Hollywood. I actually just moved back today.
Kassie: Well it’s nice to meet you, I’m Kassie.
Julius: It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Jake: Yeah, Jules was just leaving.
Kassie: Oh no… you can’t stay for dinner? Jake made enough to feed an army.
Jake: Oh no, you said you had to go to that one thing right Julius?
Julius drops his head looking disappointed.
Julius: Yeah there’s that thing.
Then he shoots his head up and grins.
Julius: But ya know, I could always reschedule that, those burgers smell mighty good.
Kassie: Well come on in, I’ll run and tell J.C. to grab an extra chair out of the garage.
Kassie skips away leaving Jake and Julius who’d just stepped into the living room alone. Jake glares at the Californian who’s smiling from ear to ear as the scene fades out.
I honestly don’t know what it is that has me feelin’ this way either. Is It the opportunities such as the one I’ve got this week to step in the ring with the truly elite performers in this industry like Spike Kane? Is it the chance to face unknown, at least to me, yet equally impressive guys like Mike Laszlo and Gjenrei down the line? Is it maybe getting to team with my old friend Brad Kane in the future? Or is it the possibility of shoving my boot up Alex Jones ass at some point like so many people seem to want to do?
I’d have to say it’s all of that and more, but I’m just gonna take it a week at a time. Which leads me to my match this week against the previously mentioned Spike Kane and Stephen Kingsley. It’s like that old “Which one of these is not like the other?” games from childhood. In this case that answer is obviously Mr. Kingsley who unlike Spike and myself is well above the average height for an adult male, yet well below the average skill level of two of the best wrestlers that have ever stepped foot inside a wrestling ring.
I don’t know much about you Stephen besides you’re big, ugly, and come from Australia. I know from a quick check of your bio on the IWF website that you’re mainly a tag team guy who relies heavily on punch kick punch kick to get through a match. I can brawl with the best of’em Stephen, but please don’t think for a second that I will stand and trade with you because you’re almost a foot taller than me and over 100lbs heavier and my Mama didn’t raise no fool. I won’t be as bold as our other opponent and call you a joke cause you’re big, really big and your size alone is enough for anyone to take you serious. I’ve faced men your size or larger and won though. It’s all about strategy, I’m gonna chop you down like a tree and take your legs out from under you. Then when you’re on your knees, you know right around my height, I’m either gonna elbow you in the face or slap on a D’Arce Choke so tight you’ll wish one of those Crocs back home had a hold of your ass. Either option means you’re takin’ a nap, big boy.
That’s when this becomes a wrestling match and two bonafide stars are standing face to face inside the ring and every single person inside the Sears Center or parked in front of their TV set gets that chill that runs all the way up their spine and they know they’re about to witness something special. Jake Keeton vs. Spike Kane is a match that many people have listed as their dream match, yeah it’s happened before but never in front of the kind of audience that will witness it on Monday night so as far as I’m concerned the last time doesn’t even count. This is the first time it’s happened for real, and we may be saddled with Steve Irwin’s mentally challenged big brother but he’ll be sleeping.
I guess I must have got off on the wrong foot around here because I showed no respect at all to my opponents the first week. Anyone who thinks that’s me has got me all wrong because I have no problem at all showing respect where it’s due there just wasn’t any due that week. This week however the level of respect I’m taking into the ring with me is working overtime cause I don’t hold many people in this business in a higher regard than I do Spike Kane. We’ve both been doing this for what seems like forever, we’ve been champions all over the World. We’ve been the most hated and most beloved by the fans at different points in our careers. We’ve simply walked very similar paths in the wrestling world and even to a lesser extent outside the ring with our struggles with addiction.
There has to come a point though where the similarities stop and the WE becomes YOU and I, Spike. I am the best wrestler alive, and after Sacrifice this week maybe you’ll be able to admit that too. You can beat me, it’s just not happening this week because I want it more. I intend to be the Imperial Champion and the face of this promotion while you seem to be content to languish in the tag team ranks. I’m not saying that the real life buddy movie starring you and Rob Diamond isn’t insanely entertaining, I’m just at the point in my career where my desire to be the best and to prove that I am is the most important thing to me besides my family. If I get to face legends like you along the way and have a lil fun that’s just an added bonus.
We’re gonna put on a show for the ages Monday night Spike, there’s a possibility that we wake a sleeping giant along the way and he makes us both eat our words but that’s highly unlikely. If things go as planned though we’ll send the fans home happy and you’ll have a match you can be proud of even in defeat.
It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon in Lexington, KY and the Keeton family are gathered out in the back yard enjoying the weather. Jake is in front of the grill flipping burgers, while a bikini clad Kassie is getting some sun, and finally J.C. is playing with the new family pet, a 6 month old Pitbull/Boston Terrier named Harley. J.C. throws a stick that lands near Jake’s feet and the puppy runs towards but stops a few feet shy and begins barking at the elder Keeton.
J.C.: She wants you to throw it back, Dad.
Jake bends down to pick up the stick and the barks turn to growls and Jake stands back up.
Jake: I’m not so sure, she sounds like she wants to eat my face.
J.C. walks over and takes a hold of the puppy’s collar.
J.C.: Go ahead and pick up the stick, chicken, I won’t let the 18lb pup maul you too bad.
Jake bends down once again and with her teeth showing and growling and snarling Harley does everything in her power to get away from J.C.
J.C.: Maybe you’re right, I’ve heard animals can sense evil.
Jake: Hey I’m not evil.
J.C.: Bull crap, grounding me 6 months in the 4th grade for getting a C on my report card isn’t evil?
Jake: Did you ever get another one?
J.C.: Well no.
Jake: Then it wasn’t evil. Take that hell hound back down in the yard, I got some burgers to cook.
J.C.: Whatever, I should let her bite you.
J.C. laughs as Jake throws the stick and J.C. turns Harley loose and she goes chasing after it with him close behind.
Jake: How do the burgers smell baby?
Kassie: Scrumptious! I’m starving.
Suddenly you can hear a car pulling the driveway with unidentifiable rap music bumping.
Jake: What the hell is that?
Kassie reaches back and reties the top to her red bikini before getting up and walking over to peek around the corner of the house.
Kassie: I don’t know who it is honey, It’s some black guy. Looks like he’s going to the front door.
Jake: Can you keep an eye my burgers? I’ll go check it out.
Jake goes in the house and walks to the front door. He opens the door to see Julius King preparing to knock.
Julius: Jake! Just the man I was looking for, I got some good news, partner.
Jake steps out on the porch, furious at the sight of the scummy agent.
Jake: What the hell are you doing at my home? I told you I didn’t want my family to know about our agreement.
Julius: You ain’t gotta tell’em I was here.
Jake: My wife saw you!
Julius: Oh damn, my bad dawg. Well just tell her sweet ass that I was lost and looking for directions.
Jake: Yeah she won’t buy that, and how many times do I have to tell you to watch your mouth about her? I’ll think of something though. What the hell do you want Jules?
Julius: I’m moving! Just rented a lil office with a nice crib above it over on the other side of Lexington. I thought it’d be easier for business if I was closer to my investment.
Jake: Why? You don’t have to do anything, and I’ll just keep sending you checks. The less I see you the better off we are.
Julius: Oh buy I feel like I need to take a more proactive approach to your career, I’ve got a few suggestions for your match this week as a matter of fact.
Jake just shakes his head, half amused and half frustrated.
Jake: Are you kidding me? This is gonna be the toughest match I’ve had thus far in IWF and I’m supposed to listen to you? Fine, I’ll humor you, what’s your suggestion?
Julius: Lay low, there seems to be a lot of anger between the other two so let the big foreign cat beat down the other dude and then you swoop in and steal the pin. It’s brilliant; you didn’t know you were working for a damn genius did you Jake?
Jake: Well I can tell you that you’re certainly not the first person that’s thought of that idea in a triple threat match, but I’m the best wrestler alive so I don’t have to capitalize on someone else’s hard work.
Julius: Whatever dawg, just don’t come crying to me if you lose. Damn, here comes your old lady I better get to steppin’…
Too late. Jake looks back to see Kassie through the glass in the door. He turns and opens the door planting a big kiss on her.
Jake: Hey honey, how are the burgers?
Kassie: They’re done, I’m starving. Who’s this?
Jake: Oh this… this is Julius, we’re old friends. We grew up together and were on the basketball team in High School.
Kassie: Really? I’ve never heard you mention him before.
Jake: He…
Julius: I moved away, been living out in Hollywood. I actually just moved back today.
Kassie: Well it’s nice to meet you, I’m Kassie.
Julius: It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Jake: Yeah, Jules was just leaving.
Kassie: Oh no… you can’t stay for dinner? Jake made enough to feed an army.
Jake: Oh no, you said you had to go to that one thing right Julius?
Julius drops his head looking disappointed.
Julius: Yeah there’s that thing.
Then he shoots his head up and grins.
Julius: But ya know, I could always reschedule that, those burgers smell mighty good.
Kassie: Well come on in, I’ll run and tell J.C. to grab an extra chair out of the garage.
Kassie skips away leaving Jake and Julius who’d just stepped into the living room alone. Jake glares at the Californian who’s smiling from ear to ear as the scene fades out.
Well howdy there pardner.