Post by Mike Laszlo on Sept 28, 2014 5:25:21 GMT
If only you can understand the situation that I find myself in.
My voice echoes throughout a dark screen. The words themselves makes you think above and beyond the possibilities of what it is I could mean.
What’s coming up Sunday night in the middle of your living rooms, in the middle of the arena, in the middle of that ring goes far beyond the simplicities of fighting for a championship.
An image of Angel holding his custom World Heavyweight Title are shown in slow motion, the twisted looks on his face are enough to make anybody sick to their stomachs.
The imagined line that divides right from wrong has been crossed. The limits superseded by two individuals, in an effort to destroy one another is inconceivable. It’s come down to the simple fact that you don’t like me and I don’t like you and the two of us will go to any lengths to see the other suffer…
The scene fades in and I’m in the corner of a wrestling ring, sitting in the corner, my back against the turnbuckle as an eerie ray of light glares in through the filth covered window. I look up slowly, my eyes opening further as my head gets higher. There’s a smirk on my face. It’s not a happy smirk, nor is it sarcastic. As you stare at me for a moment, you can tell that I’ve gone into another mode; a mode…represented by the smirk that is of a sadistic quality. I’ve experienced, felt the hate…and I welcomed it.
…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As I sit Indian-style in the corner I think of what Angel has said to me over the past few weeks; weeks in which he destroyed meaningless competition, one after another, week after week. The same competition that I destroyed, broke down, and made submit, one after another…in a matter of minutes.
I know what you tried to do Angel. All these weeks as you showed dominance over meaningless cannon fodder, I heard the words you used. I heard myself mentioned time and time again. You said that I wasn’t worthy of facing you again. You told the world that you were scouring our roster from the bottom up looking for that one person who was worthy. You never found that person and do you know why?
My head was slightly cocked to the side, my eyes squinted as I posed the question. The look alone made those watching wonder the same question though the answer was right in front of us all.
Because you were ducking him…YOU WERE DUCKING ME…
A finger pointed into my own chest as I stared intently at the camera. I chilled a little and went back to the cold, calculated tone I had been using before.
The entire time, you talked on Twitter about me never getting another shot. You told the world that I wasn’t at or even close to your level. You neglect to see the facts. You forget what happened to you at Legacy when the two of us finally stood across the ring from one another; you the champion, myself the Heir to the Throne.
I slash my open hand through the board if wiping away filth from the air.
You glossed over the fact that for the first five or six minutes of that match, I took “God” by the throat and I slammed him off that pedestal.
I slash my hand through the air in a negative connotation.
You don’t mention the fact that I dominated you in every sense of the word, and I pinned you.
I take a deep breath and for a minute, close my eyes as I recall the emotions I felt as the referee handed me the IWF Title. My heart was pumping so fast that it may not have registered on the machines at a hospital. I felt the joy overtake my body like no experience I had ever felt before. I felt all of that again for a brief moment.
In that moment, the one that I held the Imperial Title in my hands, I felt a sense of redemption. I felt a sense of self-worth that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time Angel…and then you used your power to your advantage.
My eyes were forced close tight as the negative images flashed inside my head, me describing them to you…the public.
I was driven through a table and then once I was rolled back into the ring, you used the power afforded you and you restarted the match and you won.
The memories stopped. The scene behind my eyelids was nothing but darkness, only relieved once I slowly opened them to see the camera in front of me once more.
You took back your title and with it…all that self-worth that swelled my chest with pride. You took more than a title from me Angel and I want to exact my revenge. I want you to feel the helplessness that you felt for that brief second in time. I want you to feel the pain and torture that I then felt when you stole that glory and satisfaction from me. I want you to hurt just as much physically as you do mentally and that’s why we’re in the situation that we’re in Angel. That’s why when we face each other at Extreme Endurance, we go through the ultimate test. All of the anger, all of the hate that I feel for you will be exacted upon you in the swiftest, most painful of ways until I make you beg for mercy…
I stop for a minute, a dramatic pause if you will, holding my breath as you wait for the conclusion.
…only to show you none.
The sinister grin shows itself again as I allow the sadistic side of me to takeover. I let out the hate in the formation of a alter-ego that has yet to be seen; an alter-ego that doesn’t mind hurting other people; an alter-ego…a part of me…that enjoys it.
You’ll sit there, on your knees in front of me, in front of thousands of people and the other millions watching at home and you will beg me to stop…only for me to strike you down again, and again, and again until you utter the words that both I and the world have waited to hear from your lips…”I QUIT!”
I reach up, not taking my glare off of the lens of the camera as I pull myself up out of the corner. You wonder what else can possibly be said, where I could possibly go from here, and yet…it’s revealed.
For you to say those words is the blessing that you, as “God”, can bestow on the rest of the world and have it received with open arms. For when you say those words, you will be nothing but a mere mortal. You will be nobody but Angel Blake once again. The delusions of being a God will dissolve into thin air and you will experience the humility that I and countless others have tried to beat into you. You will experience what it’s like to just be another person in the crowd…and I’ll relish in the fact that I put you there.
====================
Title: What’s To Come
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Time: 1:32 AM Local Time
Things were different. I could feel that what was to come Sunday night at Extreme Endurance was perhaps the biggest moment of my life. I knew deep down that there would be no sleeping tonight…the night before. I knew that I was too amped up. I read some articles on my smartphone, watched television, turned everything off and stared at the ceiling until the designs started looking like different images of ghouls and animals, I even closed my eyes and lied there in total darkness and not a thing was happening. I opened my eyes and stared again at the ceiling, the sensation of the magnitude of this match was just too over-powering.
I tossed and turned a bit in bed, smacking the pillow a few times, closing my eyes again and yet still…nothing. I rolled again, this time my eyes focused on Alexis who was sound asleep against the white sheets of her pillow. I watched her in her peaceful state and to be honest, I envied her. The pressure of the world was on my shoulders and mine alone and I could feel it barreling down on me as if the 3 ton elephant in the room was sitting right on my chest.
I sat up in bed and looked around for a moment, thinking of what I can do. Sleep wasn’t an option so slowly; I slid my legs over the bed and stood up, creeping over to the chair in the corner of the room to put on my shoes. I did so and as I left the room I grabbed a t-shirt, sliding it on over my head before hitting the stairs and gingerly heading to the front door, grabbing a set of house keys as I left.
I snuck out of the house, quietly closing the door behind me. I stood at the top of the driveway and slowly stretched, preparing for a jog in the brisk Cleveland night air. I took off down the driveway and around the cul-de-sac, embarking on my journey as I headed down the street.
I thought about everything. Different thoughts raced through the courses of my brain, each one escaping my mouth as I said them out loud.
Mike Laszlo: This is huge. It could possibly be one of my last shots for a while.
The thought was a legitimate one. After all, there’s all these new faces in the IWF. My time at the top, as is anyone else’s is short lived. I can only get so many shots before my time has come and gone and I have to start from scratch again.
Mike Laszlo: The confidence is there. I took him past his limits last month and would have won if not for Ana.
I pushed a little harder at the thought of having that title in my hands if only for a second, only to have it stolen from me.
Mike Laszlo: It took every member of the Age of X for that pompous ass to beat me. I know it, and more importantly he knows it. He knows that I won’t die. I showed him I won’t quit. It took being put through a table, and multiple finishers to finally put me down.
Was I simply repeating the past…or was I trying to convince myself that I wouldn’t fail?
Mike Laszlo: I can’t lose. My livelihood depends on it. My family depends on me to make their lives better. If I fail here then I can kiss a lot of things goodbye. I won’t fail.
The doubt starts creeping in a bit more, little by little. I get to a crossroads and stop in my tracks. I look in every direction not sure of which to go. Then the big question hits my brain like lightning striking a tree.
Mike Laszlo: What if I lose?
The doubt was there. What if?
Mike Laszlo: What if he weasels out with the belt again like last month, or worse, what if he flat out beats me?
The thoughts hit hard and fast as I started to shake my head from side to side in denial. The side to side motion grew more rapid as I slowly started chanting a single two-letter word.
Mike Laszlo: No. No. No.
The words got louder and louder until I yelled loud enough to echo throughout the neighborhood, no doubt waking up some of the neighbors.
Mike Laszlo: NO!
In a fit of rage I lunged my foot forward and stomped a metal trash can to the ground, a huge dent representing where my foot had struck. I was breathing heavy, but my thoughts were clear, as was the anger inside.
Mike Laszlo: I won’t lose. I CAN’T LOSE!
I looked around and there was nobody in sight. I thought for a moment I was going crazy as I yelled out his name as if he were right in front of me.
Mike Laszlo: I CAN’T LOSE ANGEL! DO YOU HEAR ME! I…CAN’T…LOSE!
I turned back now that I got it all of my chest. I was breathing hard as I started walking back up the street. The walk turned to a jog, which then turned to a sprint back up to the house, ending at the driveway.
Mike Laszlo: I’ve got this. There’s no turning back. I…WILL…WIN!
I entered the house just as quietly as I had left and preceded up the stairs and back into my room. I undressed and slipped back into bed, and as I pulled the covers over my body, I heard Alexis’ soft voice.
Alexis Caffrey: Where’d you go?
Mike Laszlo: For a run.
Alexis Caffrey: Can’t sleep?
Mike Laszlo: I couldn’t, I should be good now.
Alexis Caffrey: Don’t worry about tomorrow night.
Mike Laszlo: What do you mean?
Alexis Caffrey: You’re going to win.
The words remained in my head. They caused a smirk to cross my face as I nodded.
Mike Laszlo: I know.
After that, it was a lot easier to fall asleep and I did so…with a smile on my face.
====================
We’ve been portrayed in different lights Angel. You’ve been cast as the villain, myself as the hero. We’ve been put in these roles, not by each other, but by the public perception. You the man in power who uses it to his own benefit, me the young buck ready to assume the throne and stop you and your corruption.
The scene reappears as I’m in my office of my gym, my hands folded on the oak desk in front of me, neatly organized. I lean forward, all my weight on my elbows and I shrug my shoulders.
Trust me when I tell you that it is not a role I relish. It isn’t the part in the movie I asked for. All these years, time and time again, I have proclaimed that I am not a role model. I’m not the hero who defeats the darkness that ensues. I’m not that light at the end of the tunnel. Yet here I am, in that role, against you.
That’s why beating you…
Yes, I’m pointing at you Angel.
Means so much to “them.” That’s why “they” cheer for me. Angel, the people who comprise our audience…they don’t like you. That’s why they cheer me. They cheer me because they saw last month that I’m perfectly capable of taking that belt from you and making it my own, and over the last few weeks they’ve seen over and over that I plan on doing exactly that.
I glide my hand through the air to represent time.
For years, in this and every other federation or organization I’ve found myself in, I’ve been in it for one reason…me. I didn’t show off in the ring for a cheap pop. I didn’t put on the best show in the world for them. I did it all…for me.
There’s a finger firmly planted in my chest.
Call it selfish.
Call it egotistical.
Honestly I don’t care because your opinion is irrelevant. You made it so when you dismissed me after our last encounter. It was that very dismissal that made me despise you. Before, at Legacy, things were on a professional level. You were the Champion, and I was the challenger. You had something I wanted, and I was dead-set on taking it from you…and I did if only for that brief moment.
You know I did.
I set out a goal, and I accomplished it in both my eyes and the eyes of everyone who paid money to watch. Everyone that is…but you. Your dismissal activated something inside me Angel. I no longer just want to beat you in a match. I no longer just want to take that belt from you, that’ll just be icing on the cake. I want to take you and beat you from pillar to post. I want to take you to the concession stands and slam you through a popcorn machine. In essence…I want to hurt you.
I want to beat you until you can’t feel your body anymore. I want to tear you limb from limb, then use those limbs to beat you even more.
The same sadistic grin crosses my face.
I want to enjoy every minute of it.
I unclasp my hands from one another and slam them down on the desk in front of me as I stand up, the chair behind me flying back across the floor, making a loud thud as it hits the filing cabinet.
I want to enjoy it like you enjoyed stealing that title back from me. I want to enjoy it like you did when you finally put me down for a three count. I want to enjoy hearing you scream until you finally realize what the word humility is. You will hear the referee ask you if you quit and you will see it as your only way of survival and you will scream those two words that will signify the end of not only your title reign, but your egotistical bullshit as well. You will be “God” no longer…and you will bow to me.
Lord have mercy…because I sure as hell won’t.
My voice echoes throughout a dark screen. The words themselves makes you think above and beyond the possibilities of what it is I could mean.
What’s coming up Sunday night in the middle of your living rooms, in the middle of the arena, in the middle of that ring goes far beyond the simplicities of fighting for a championship.
An image of Angel holding his custom World Heavyweight Title are shown in slow motion, the twisted looks on his face are enough to make anybody sick to their stomachs.
The imagined line that divides right from wrong has been crossed. The limits superseded by two individuals, in an effort to destroy one another is inconceivable. It’s come down to the simple fact that you don’t like me and I don’t like you and the two of us will go to any lengths to see the other suffer…
The scene fades in and I’m in the corner of a wrestling ring, sitting in the corner, my back against the turnbuckle as an eerie ray of light glares in through the filth covered window. I look up slowly, my eyes opening further as my head gets higher. There’s a smirk on my face. It’s not a happy smirk, nor is it sarcastic. As you stare at me for a moment, you can tell that I’ve gone into another mode; a mode…represented by the smirk that is of a sadistic quality. I’ve experienced, felt the hate…and I welcomed it.
…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As I sit Indian-style in the corner I think of what Angel has said to me over the past few weeks; weeks in which he destroyed meaningless competition, one after another, week after week. The same competition that I destroyed, broke down, and made submit, one after another…in a matter of minutes.
I know what you tried to do Angel. All these weeks as you showed dominance over meaningless cannon fodder, I heard the words you used. I heard myself mentioned time and time again. You said that I wasn’t worthy of facing you again. You told the world that you were scouring our roster from the bottom up looking for that one person who was worthy. You never found that person and do you know why?
My head was slightly cocked to the side, my eyes squinted as I posed the question. The look alone made those watching wonder the same question though the answer was right in front of us all.
Because you were ducking him…YOU WERE DUCKING ME…
A finger pointed into my own chest as I stared intently at the camera. I chilled a little and went back to the cold, calculated tone I had been using before.
The entire time, you talked on Twitter about me never getting another shot. You told the world that I wasn’t at or even close to your level. You neglect to see the facts. You forget what happened to you at Legacy when the two of us finally stood across the ring from one another; you the champion, myself the Heir to the Throne.
I slash my open hand through the board if wiping away filth from the air.
You glossed over the fact that for the first five or six minutes of that match, I took “God” by the throat and I slammed him off that pedestal.
I slash my hand through the air in a negative connotation.
You don’t mention the fact that I dominated you in every sense of the word, and I pinned you.
I take a deep breath and for a minute, close my eyes as I recall the emotions I felt as the referee handed me the IWF Title. My heart was pumping so fast that it may not have registered on the machines at a hospital. I felt the joy overtake my body like no experience I had ever felt before. I felt all of that again for a brief moment.
In that moment, the one that I held the Imperial Title in my hands, I felt a sense of redemption. I felt a sense of self-worth that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time Angel…and then you used your power to your advantage.
My eyes were forced close tight as the negative images flashed inside my head, me describing them to you…the public.
I was driven through a table and then once I was rolled back into the ring, you used the power afforded you and you restarted the match and you won.
The memories stopped. The scene behind my eyelids was nothing but darkness, only relieved once I slowly opened them to see the camera in front of me once more.
You took back your title and with it…all that self-worth that swelled my chest with pride. You took more than a title from me Angel and I want to exact my revenge. I want you to feel the helplessness that you felt for that brief second in time. I want you to feel the pain and torture that I then felt when you stole that glory and satisfaction from me. I want you to hurt just as much physically as you do mentally and that’s why we’re in the situation that we’re in Angel. That’s why when we face each other at Extreme Endurance, we go through the ultimate test. All of the anger, all of the hate that I feel for you will be exacted upon you in the swiftest, most painful of ways until I make you beg for mercy…
I stop for a minute, a dramatic pause if you will, holding my breath as you wait for the conclusion.
…only to show you none.
The sinister grin shows itself again as I allow the sadistic side of me to takeover. I let out the hate in the formation of a alter-ego that has yet to be seen; an alter-ego that doesn’t mind hurting other people; an alter-ego…a part of me…that enjoys it.
You’ll sit there, on your knees in front of me, in front of thousands of people and the other millions watching at home and you will beg me to stop…only for me to strike you down again, and again, and again until you utter the words that both I and the world have waited to hear from your lips…”I QUIT!”
I reach up, not taking my glare off of the lens of the camera as I pull myself up out of the corner. You wonder what else can possibly be said, where I could possibly go from here, and yet…it’s revealed.
For you to say those words is the blessing that you, as “God”, can bestow on the rest of the world and have it received with open arms. For when you say those words, you will be nothing but a mere mortal. You will be nobody but Angel Blake once again. The delusions of being a God will dissolve into thin air and you will experience the humility that I and countless others have tried to beat into you. You will experience what it’s like to just be another person in the crowd…and I’ll relish in the fact that I put you there.
====================
Title: What’s To Come
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Time: 1:32 AM Local Time
Things were different. I could feel that what was to come Sunday night at Extreme Endurance was perhaps the biggest moment of my life. I knew deep down that there would be no sleeping tonight…the night before. I knew that I was too amped up. I read some articles on my smartphone, watched television, turned everything off and stared at the ceiling until the designs started looking like different images of ghouls and animals, I even closed my eyes and lied there in total darkness and not a thing was happening. I opened my eyes and stared again at the ceiling, the sensation of the magnitude of this match was just too over-powering.
I tossed and turned a bit in bed, smacking the pillow a few times, closing my eyes again and yet still…nothing. I rolled again, this time my eyes focused on Alexis who was sound asleep against the white sheets of her pillow. I watched her in her peaceful state and to be honest, I envied her. The pressure of the world was on my shoulders and mine alone and I could feel it barreling down on me as if the 3 ton elephant in the room was sitting right on my chest.
I sat up in bed and looked around for a moment, thinking of what I can do. Sleep wasn’t an option so slowly; I slid my legs over the bed and stood up, creeping over to the chair in the corner of the room to put on my shoes. I did so and as I left the room I grabbed a t-shirt, sliding it on over my head before hitting the stairs and gingerly heading to the front door, grabbing a set of house keys as I left.
I snuck out of the house, quietly closing the door behind me. I stood at the top of the driveway and slowly stretched, preparing for a jog in the brisk Cleveland night air. I took off down the driveway and around the cul-de-sac, embarking on my journey as I headed down the street.
I thought about everything. Different thoughts raced through the courses of my brain, each one escaping my mouth as I said them out loud.
Mike Laszlo: This is huge. It could possibly be one of my last shots for a while.
The thought was a legitimate one. After all, there’s all these new faces in the IWF. My time at the top, as is anyone else’s is short lived. I can only get so many shots before my time has come and gone and I have to start from scratch again.
Mike Laszlo: The confidence is there. I took him past his limits last month and would have won if not for Ana.
I pushed a little harder at the thought of having that title in my hands if only for a second, only to have it stolen from me.
Mike Laszlo: It took every member of the Age of X for that pompous ass to beat me. I know it, and more importantly he knows it. He knows that I won’t die. I showed him I won’t quit. It took being put through a table, and multiple finishers to finally put me down.
Was I simply repeating the past…or was I trying to convince myself that I wouldn’t fail?
Mike Laszlo: I can’t lose. My livelihood depends on it. My family depends on me to make their lives better. If I fail here then I can kiss a lot of things goodbye. I won’t fail.
The doubt starts creeping in a bit more, little by little. I get to a crossroads and stop in my tracks. I look in every direction not sure of which to go. Then the big question hits my brain like lightning striking a tree.
Mike Laszlo: What if I lose?
The doubt was there. What if?
Mike Laszlo: What if he weasels out with the belt again like last month, or worse, what if he flat out beats me?
The thoughts hit hard and fast as I started to shake my head from side to side in denial. The side to side motion grew more rapid as I slowly started chanting a single two-letter word.
Mike Laszlo: No. No. No.
The words got louder and louder until I yelled loud enough to echo throughout the neighborhood, no doubt waking up some of the neighbors.
Mike Laszlo: NO!
In a fit of rage I lunged my foot forward and stomped a metal trash can to the ground, a huge dent representing where my foot had struck. I was breathing heavy, but my thoughts were clear, as was the anger inside.
Mike Laszlo: I won’t lose. I CAN’T LOSE!
I looked around and there was nobody in sight. I thought for a moment I was going crazy as I yelled out his name as if he were right in front of me.
Mike Laszlo: I CAN’T LOSE ANGEL! DO YOU HEAR ME! I…CAN’T…LOSE!
I turned back now that I got it all of my chest. I was breathing hard as I started walking back up the street. The walk turned to a jog, which then turned to a sprint back up to the house, ending at the driveway.
Mike Laszlo: I’ve got this. There’s no turning back. I…WILL…WIN!
I entered the house just as quietly as I had left and preceded up the stairs and back into my room. I undressed and slipped back into bed, and as I pulled the covers over my body, I heard Alexis’ soft voice.
Alexis Caffrey: Where’d you go?
Mike Laszlo: For a run.
Alexis Caffrey: Can’t sleep?
Mike Laszlo: I couldn’t, I should be good now.
Alexis Caffrey: Don’t worry about tomorrow night.
Mike Laszlo: What do you mean?
Alexis Caffrey: You’re going to win.
The words remained in my head. They caused a smirk to cross my face as I nodded.
Mike Laszlo: I know.
After that, it was a lot easier to fall asleep and I did so…with a smile on my face.
====================
We’ve been portrayed in different lights Angel. You’ve been cast as the villain, myself as the hero. We’ve been put in these roles, not by each other, but by the public perception. You the man in power who uses it to his own benefit, me the young buck ready to assume the throne and stop you and your corruption.
The scene reappears as I’m in my office of my gym, my hands folded on the oak desk in front of me, neatly organized. I lean forward, all my weight on my elbows and I shrug my shoulders.
Trust me when I tell you that it is not a role I relish. It isn’t the part in the movie I asked for. All these years, time and time again, I have proclaimed that I am not a role model. I’m not the hero who defeats the darkness that ensues. I’m not that light at the end of the tunnel. Yet here I am, in that role, against you.
That’s why beating you…
Yes, I’m pointing at you Angel.
Means so much to “them.” That’s why “they” cheer for me. Angel, the people who comprise our audience…they don’t like you. That’s why they cheer me. They cheer me because they saw last month that I’m perfectly capable of taking that belt from you and making it my own, and over the last few weeks they’ve seen over and over that I plan on doing exactly that.
I glide my hand through the air to represent time.
For years, in this and every other federation or organization I’ve found myself in, I’ve been in it for one reason…me. I didn’t show off in the ring for a cheap pop. I didn’t put on the best show in the world for them. I did it all…for me.
There’s a finger firmly planted in my chest.
Call it selfish.
Call it egotistical.
Honestly I don’t care because your opinion is irrelevant. You made it so when you dismissed me after our last encounter. It was that very dismissal that made me despise you. Before, at Legacy, things were on a professional level. You were the Champion, and I was the challenger. You had something I wanted, and I was dead-set on taking it from you…and I did if only for that brief moment.
You know I did.
I set out a goal, and I accomplished it in both my eyes and the eyes of everyone who paid money to watch. Everyone that is…but you. Your dismissal activated something inside me Angel. I no longer just want to beat you in a match. I no longer just want to take that belt from you, that’ll just be icing on the cake. I want to take you and beat you from pillar to post. I want to take you to the concession stands and slam you through a popcorn machine. In essence…I want to hurt you.
I want to beat you until you can’t feel your body anymore. I want to tear you limb from limb, then use those limbs to beat you even more.
The same sadistic grin crosses my face.
I want to enjoy every minute of it.
I unclasp my hands from one another and slam them down on the desk in front of me as I stand up, the chair behind me flying back across the floor, making a loud thud as it hits the filing cabinet.
I want to enjoy it like you enjoyed stealing that title back from me. I want to enjoy it like you did when you finally put me down for a three count. I want to enjoy hearing you scream until you finally realize what the word humility is. You will hear the referee ask you if you quit and you will see it as your only way of survival and you will scream those two words that will signify the end of not only your title reign, but your egotistical bullshit as well. You will be “God” no longer…and you will bow to me.
Lord have mercy…because I sure as hell won’t.
Well howdy there pardner.