Post by Xavier Cross on Sept 28, 2014 17:51:48 GMT
This wasn’t the same, nothing felt right. It seemed only moments ago I pulled the trigger and ended my life, yet here I am. Here I am huddled up in the corner of my bathroom floor, albeit it’s a lot cleaner, the sore thumb in the room is the simple fact of this. My dead wife has her arms wrapped around me, trying to calm me down, like it was just a bad dream. I know what I felt, I know what happened. I could see my entire life flash before my eyes…but now I’m here, I should be happy, but I only feel lost. That feeling you get when you think you’re going the right way, fuck you convince yourself that this is the right direction, only to find yourself lost, and confused with a quarter of a tank of gas.
I should be over the moon right, she pulls away and I can see her face, oh how I’ve missed that smile. I want to reach out and touch her cheek, but my body, it just won’t move on its own. Nothing feels natural, and a chill of fear reaches up my spine. She shakes her head, laughing at me. God how I missed that laugh. I want to follow her. She said she’s going to bring me some tea, tells me to go hop in the shower and shake it off. She closes the door behind her, and I pick myself up, seems my body is finally working, though I’m shaking, real bad.
Staggering forward, I look down into the sink, turning the water on, I splash my face, letting the cold kind of wake me from this weird feeling. Looking up into the mirror, a thought washes over me. Could this be an alternate dimension? I assumed it was a bad dream, the idea of ‘Dark Xavier’, the idea of multiple dimensions, all jointed together by mirrors. But at the time of suicide, there wasn’t a mirror, I never had a mirror in the basement, the whole thing gave me the jitters after that nonsense. So what could this be….Am I really crazy?
Shaking it off, I turn towards the shower, removing my boxers. I take a deep breath, as I reach in, turning the faucet on, hearing the water erupt, I flip the little switch as the shower stream begins. Stepping in the hot water washes over me, a tingle of fear washes through my body, imagining that the rush of the water would wake me from this strange dream, as a part of myself didn’t want to leave a place where I could see her face again, feel her touch, smell her perfume. If this really was heaven, it was some kind of magic I managed to get here, to be with my Angel once again. But at the same moment, a sense of guilt washes over me. What if this multi-dimension thing isn’t just a bad trip, if it really does exist? In some world I just blew my brains out, and my conciseness has floated here. Was that all just a bad dream? Am I even who I was? I am Xavier Cross, but am I me? What about those in that other pocket of universe, who will find my body, will my kids be okay…Oh god my kids….
I stagger in the shower; my hand reaches out for the bar we had installed when Cari was pregnant with the twins. My knees are shaking, hell my entire body is a wreck, until my ears perk up, the door opens again. I can smell her, over the steam, I freeze my hand still clutching at the handle, hoping for something, I'm still not sure yet. I hear a soft thud, as clothes hit the ground, the shower curtain moves away, and for the first time in years. I feel her hands on my chest, moving around my neck. The fear, the confusion, and all the guilt melts away in this moment.
In some universe, I was dead, in some universe she was dead, but right now. In this moment, we were both very much alive. And for what felt like an eternity, I stared into those eyes, the water splashing down on our bodies, and I kissed her, like I have never kissed anyone before. I pulled her body into mine, the only fear was letting her go. I had a second chance to love her.
The sheets smelled good, like they have been washed consistently. It wasn't the stale alcohal and loneliness I was used to. There she was, curled up next to me softly sleeping. I brush her hair over her ears, watching her sleep. It didn't feel unnatural, nor did it feel supernatural. It just felt right, and after all the thoughts that had raced through my head, I was going to dig my heels in, and just accept that this was my home, and that she was still with me.
Cari Cross was alive.
I didn't know what waited for me outside those bedrooms doors, I wasn't quite sure if I was even alive, maybe this was really heaven. Maybe the life of Xavier Cross was really over, and this was going to be my eternity. Looking down at her, sleeping ever so softly. I was okay with that. I didn't want to move, or go anywhere, if my eternity was just watching her sleep ever so peacefully. That was something I was completely okay with.
She yawns in a cute little high pitch, leaning forward she kisses my nose. What are you doing, she asks with tired eyes. Are you okay? She asks again, and I just nod looking down at her, my hand brushes against her cheek.
I've never been better.
I should be over the moon right, she pulls away and I can see her face, oh how I’ve missed that smile. I want to reach out and touch her cheek, but my body, it just won’t move on its own. Nothing feels natural, and a chill of fear reaches up my spine. She shakes her head, laughing at me. God how I missed that laugh. I want to follow her. She said she’s going to bring me some tea, tells me to go hop in the shower and shake it off. She closes the door behind her, and I pick myself up, seems my body is finally working, though I’m shaking, real bad.
Staggering forward, I look down into the sink, turning the water on, I splash my face, letting the cold kind of wake me from this weird feeling. Looking up into the mirror, a thought washes over me. Could this be an alternate dimension? I assumed it was a bad dream, the idea of ‘Dark Xavier’, the idea of multiple dimensions, all jointed together by mirrors. But at the time of suicide, there wasn’t a mirror, I never had a mirror in the basement, the whole thing gave me the jitters after that nonsense. So what could this be….Am I really crazy?
Shaking it off, I turn towards the shower, removing my boxers. I take a deep breath, as I reach in, turning the faucet on, hearing the water erupt, I flip the little switch as the shower stream begins. Stepping in the hot water washes over me, a tingle of fear washes through my body, imagining that the rush of the water would wake me from this strange dream, as a part of myself didn’t want to leave a place where I could see her face again, feel her touch, smell her perfume. If this really was heaven, it was some kind of magic I managed to get here, to be with my Angel once again. But at the same moment, a sense of guilt washes over me. What if this multi-dimension thing isn’t just a bad trip, if it really does exist? In some world I just blew my brains out, and my conciseness has floated here. Was that all just a bad dream? Am I even who I was? I am Xavier Cross, but am I me? What about those in that other pocket of universe, who will find my body, will my kids be okay…Oh god my kids….
I stagger in the shower; my hand reaches out for the bar we had installed when Cari was pregnant with the twins. My knees are shaking, hell my entire body is a wreck, until my ears perk up, the door opens again. I can smell her, over the steam, I freeze my hand still clutching at the handle, hoping for something, I'm still not sure yet. I hear a soft thud, as clothes hit the ground, the shower curtain moves away, and for the first time in years. I feel her hands on my chest, moving around my neck. The fear, the confusion, and all the guilt melts away in this moment.
In some universe, I was dead, in some universe she was dead, but right now. In this moment, we were both very much alive. And for what felt like an eternity, I stared into those eyes, the water splashing down on our bodies, and I kissed her, like I have never kissed anyone before. I pulled her body into mine, the only fear was letting her go. I had a second chance to love her.
You know, I should be absolutely, positively, undoubtably....furious, as well as excited! Right, I finally get to get my hands on that gruppy suit wearing desk jocky, and I JUST CAN NOT WAIT! Woooooo!
Roberto Verona, for weeks, and weeks, and weeks has been trying to teach me a lesson, trying to tell me what is what, and how I need to be. And the simple fact is, he has made me climb a god damn mountain backwards on my hands to try and prove his little point. I am a little off my rocker, and the fact is these people love me. Because the simple fact is...around here...
We're all a little mad.
I just let my hang out, I don't go around proclaiming to be a God like Angel, nor do I post really awkward middle school-esc goth kid tweets like Laszlo. I'm not hinting at the fact that I'm scissoring my co-worker like Nikki and Hanna. Two vowels, and two concenents in a name, you never trust those kind of people. Nor have I ever, EVER abused my position to prove a point, to teach someone a lesson.
When I was a boy Verona, when I fucked up, my parents disciplined me, if it was something stupid and childish, it was time outs, or being grounded. If I really fucked up, I got my ass whooped. But the simple fact is, they didn't have a payroll to exercise 'lessons' on my ass, and after all this time, you finally decide to take that stupid ass suit off, and use your own two hands to solve your little problem....
But anyone, who knows Xavier Cross, that these last weeks....It hasn't been one hundred percent. You threw everything you had at me, every little bit of salary on the books, ever bit of influence you had. You even went out of your way to take a shot at my personal life. Now I have to attend anger management classes, as well as talking to a shrink. Thank god for my excellent IWF medical insurance.
So in the next few weeks, I guess I'll be working on me. I'll be trying to become a better person, but for now, I think the best therapy I can imagine is ripping your fucking arms off and beating you to death with them. That right there, sounds like some good therapy.
Of course you wouldn't be Berty if you didn't have a trick up your sleeve. A special stipulation that has yet to be named, something you can tweak and change right up to the very end, or just misdirection having me prepare for a cage, when it's really barbed wire, but it doesn't matter the structure, or whether or not I have to pin you, make you submit, or cut your head off and kick it into the back of a net. I will beat you. I'm not saying beat as a victory.
I'm saying I'm literally going to hit you over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.
Though maybe I shouldn't be mad at Mister Verona, maybe he had the best kind of heart out there. Instead of pulling me aside, speaking to me, trying to get me help. He forces his hand, makes an example of me, gives me what some would call tough love, others would call a violation of the Geneva convention. Instead of being a wise business man, he let his ego consume him, thinking he was the Pope when he was really Satan. But it's cool, you're the only idiotic larger than like sociopath on the roster. I mean, you think I'm crazy, that I'm unfocused, do you seem some of the nut jobs you hire bro? I mean for serious.
Sadly, I'm led to my final thought of this little lovely promo Berto. Over the last few weeks I've discovered something more so than my lost spradic thoughts, or your overneed to discipline. These men you order around, these fans that fill our pockets, they want one thing to happen. They want us to tear each other apart....But I find myself wondering, what am I going to do after this. You see I will walk in here with one goal in mind, as I've stated that is to kick your ass Bert. But what happens after this, I have been wandering so aimlessly. I came back to IWF with one real goal in mind, I wanted to break Spike Kane. A little pay back. But we all know how that went backstage, I was bumped for 'better business'.
So what am I supposed to do without you Verona, because this has to be the preverable end of the line. This has to be the grand climax where the twisted Dark Knight Roberto Verona, who has thrusted the hate upon him, to cure one of Imperial City's greatest assests, Xavier Cross...All this may make me look like one big Joker, but Bert...I almost feel a bit of sadness welling in my stomach, Imperial deserves a better class of wrestler, and I, I want to give that to them. They want me to give it to 'em. But you, you Verona....you've thrown yourself in so much that these head games....well I guess I'm going to miss you Bert...
I want to say thank you. For the last few weeks, you....You complete me.
The sheets smelled good, like they have been washed consistently. It wasn't the stale alcohal and loneliness I was used to. There she was, curled up next to me softly sleeping. I brush her hair over her ears, watching her sleep. It didn't feel unnatural, nor did it feel supernatural. It just felt right, and after all the thoughts that had raced through my head, I was going to dig my heels in, and just accept that this was my home, and that she was still with me.
Cari Cross was alive.
I didn't know what waited for me outside those bedrooms doors, I wasn't quite sure if I was even alive, maybe this was really heaven. Maybe the life of Xavier Cross was really over, and this was going to be my eternity. Looking down at her, sleeping ever so softly. I was okay with that. I didn't want to move, or go anywhere, if my eternity was just watching her sleep ever so peacefully. That was something I was completely okay with.
She yawns in a cute little high pitch, leaning forward she kisses my nose. What are you doing, she asks with tired eyes. Are you okay? She asks again, and I just nod looking down at her, my hand brushes against her cheek.
I've never been better.
Well howdy there pardner.