Post by Notorious B.O.B. on Oct 26, 2014 11:52:56 GMT
A soft hum drones in the background of the black screen for five, ten, thirteen, twenty-two seconds before a voice breaks through the monotonous white noise. ”What am I doing anymore?” The image becomes distorted and disorienting as the phone is picked up from a table and held at arms length, the lens blurring until finally focusing on the strained, yet calm looking, face of the man of the hour.
”I mean, seriously” he asks, his right eyebrow arching as he smirks through the question.
”Last year around this time I was flying on cloud nine and collecting wins like Valentine collects STIs; but here I am, twelve short months later, and the only thing I seem to be collecting anymore are bad decisions.”
He chuckles to himself, but it’s a pained laugh full of more scorn than joy. Reaching up with his left hand, he bites and tears at a small piece of his thumb nail, pulling the jagged piece free and spitting it to the side.
”I had the world on a string. I was the only man in IWF who stood undefeated, had the most glorious reign with the Cruiserweight title, and had knocked off some of the biggest names this company had to offer. Then it all sort of … slipped away.”
Absentmindedly, he rubs at his thumb – over and over on the same spot as it reddens and becomes raw. ”Before I knew it I was mixed up in one bad relationship after another; coming out on the losing end of each one.”
Looking down, he notes the state of his thumb and brings it up, licking it clean of the small trickle of blood that had pooled on the surface before rubbing if clean on his jeans and smiling back to the camera.
”Shit like that tends to take a piece of you when it all goes to pot.”
”Makes sense, then, that when I look at the man in the mirror today, I don’t recognize him” he sighs. ”There isn’t enough of the original left.”
He said it so nonchalantly you’d almost believe he’d come to terms with the statement. The fact was he was no better off today than he was when everything went to hell in a hand basket.
”It’s been a long and difficult journey to this point. I’ve climbed that mountain and stood poised … ready to make the jump to the main event scene and maybe even grab hold of the IWF Imperial title.” A smile broke across his face, proud of the moment when he nearly conquered the world … HIS world.
”I lost my footing; misjudged my grip; I fell.”
There was obvious pain in his voice; the sound of longing for a bygone time when things seemed to make more sense.
”I tumbled about as far down as I man could. Back down to the bottom where I was simply stepped over by the new recruits all trying to claw their way to the top. I can’t blame them, I’d have done the same, but you can’t expect me to be happy about my new lot in life” he says with a chuckle. Shaking his head he understands that there’s a part to play in this world for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that he’s necessarily destined to play this one.
He sneers, ”I look around this locker room and see collections of men and women who don’t deserve the chances they’ve been given.”
He knows that there are more than a few people backstage who’ll be none too pleased to see him after a loaded statement like that.
”This may sound like the pot calling the kettle black, and I’d agree. Maybe I didn’t deserve what came my way – but I sure as hell have tried my best to do it right the second, third, fourth … whatever time through I’m on now.” He rolls his eyes sarcastically. He knows he’d been given more chances at bat than most in the company, but after his initial string of home runs – all he’d been doing is strike out.
”I’m sick of it all … sick of the chances … sick of the setbacks.”
The word leaves his mouth like bile; the thought of it all truly making him sick.
”There was a time when I’d have done whatever it took to reach the top. I’d have stabbed my own grandmother in the back if it meant moving one step closer to my goals” he admits.
”I was a terrible person, and I’m not convinced I’ve changed all that much. Part of me wants to change, to wave a magic wand and get things to go back to the way they were;”
Pictures flash through his mind of the past atrocities that he committed in the name of himself as well as others. He knew he was as far from saint as it came, but he need not let that define himself anymore.
”but I don’t think my fairy godmother is taking my calls anymore” he says with a pained grin.
”I’ve burned bridges, built grudges and basically bitten ever hand offering me food in some way over the past five months. I don’t deserve to even BE on this pay-per-view but I guess if it means getting my hands on the Blacks, and getting Mason a little more time in the spotlight, I’ll take it.”
”It really boils down to this one match. Probably hidden in the middle of an already amazing card, it doesn’t matter to me. This is a chance to get out there, stretch my legs and do something I love.”
”I’ve focused too much lately on all the seriousness of this sport and allowed people like Angel, Ana, the rest of the Age of X, Renee, Bates … and even myself to suck the fun out of it. I let their bat shit crazy lives bleed into mine …”
”I lost sight of the fact that just because they enjoyed living soap operatic lives, I didn’t need to choose the same thing for myself.”
”I let THEIR drama become MY drama, and that’s when I started wrapping myself in chains for my eventual high dive plunge.”
He remembers looking back on the state of things and not even remembering when it had stopped being fun.
”They nearly drowned me in their negativity and self promotion. It’s obvious that since day one they’ve been out for themselves. Valentine smiling through shark teeth as she sold me snake oil by the gallons. Aside from Angel she was the biggest liar of the bunch.”
Everything, he thought to himself, always seemed to revolve around her. Even when she said she was doing it for Angel … she just had to make sure that the spotlight was firmly and forever pointed in her direction. How many times did she maneuver the Diamond’s division to where it was her headlining the marquee? Every meeting they’d had since he’d been indoctrinated with the AoX had begun with her dictating their next steps which always seemed to put her in prime contention for everything.
”I don’t blame her, though, how can I? Wasn’t I the one who followed her? Seems like that’s become my modus operandi of late; though I can only hope that after this weekend, it’s the rest of the Age of X that follows me.”
Follow him straight to hell, he thought to himself.
”That’s really it, isn’t it? After all the chaos that they’ve wrought, my best bet lays in them following my lead” he laughs. He knew the absurdity of the idea but still, it was plausible.
”Who else knows them as intimately as I do? Who else has been as deep into that rabbit hole and come away, at least some, of their sanity?”
There was heavy emphasis placed there on ‘some’.
”I’ve been hard pressed to ignore the writing on the walls for a while now, but the truth is that my time is coming in IWF. Everything that I’ve been through, everything I’ve caused … there’s some healing that needs to be done. Dr. Griffiths and I have agreed upon a course of treatment, but it all hinges on detaching myself from the source of my torment.”
The look on his face said it all … what he had to give up in order to become whole once more.
”Therein lays my problem. The source of my torment is also the source of my greatest joy. Looking back at my career over the past nearly two decades, I’ve wrestled in quite a few places but very few ever felt as truly ‘home’ as IWF. In order to save myself I’m being told that I need to let go of the one thing that seemingly held me together.”
He looked down at his fingers, interweaving them together in a latticework. He had a hard time swallowing that pill; that giving up the only thing that brought him joy would allow him to be happy? Somewhere, deep down inside, he knew Griffith was right; he just hated to think that IWF could have poisoned him this deeply.
”I don’t know what the future holds for me, if all the king’s men will be able to put me back together again, but I sure as hell know that if this is going to be my last hurrah for a while, I’m going out with a smile on my face.” This is hammered home as a sly smile splits his mouth, white teeth gleaming against the iridescent glow of the cell phone.
”Frank … Eddie … you two have done more to try and keep that smile away than anyone. It’s only fitting that I stand across the ring from you this weekend. It’ll be my turn to watch the smiles fade from your faces while the realization sets in. You’ll have lost to a broken man … and I don’t envy you stepping into the AoX’s locker room after that.”
The very thought of the wrath that Angel would unleash upon the pair brought a smile to his face. Who knows, the outcome for this match may end up being the catalyst for the fall of the Age of X.
”I’m not expecting fairness, I’m not expecting leniency or good sportsmanship … but I’m sure as hell not expecting excuses when all is said and done. You two boys have heaped shovel after shovel of hurt onto me and Mason for some time now, but we’re the ones who’re holding the shovels now.
It wasn’t too long ago that you called me a mindless follower, Eddie; remember that crack? It stung, but like they say … the truth hurts. I was a follower, am a follower. It’s in my DNA now and something that I need to fundamentally change about my character … but not before I follow your lead and use the tricks and tactics that got you to the head of Angel’s class” he says with a sneer.
”This weekend … this weekend is YOUR chance to quit because knocking your punk ass out is too damn good for you” he spits before grinning wickedly.
“Time to find out what I’ll do next, boys … ‘cause even I haven’t got a clue.”
”I mean, seriously” he asks, his right eyebrow arching as he smirks through the question.
”Last year around this time I was flying on cloud nine and collecting wins like Valentine collects STIs; but here I am, twelve short months later, and the only thing I seem to be collecting anymore are bad decisions.”
He chuckles to himself, but it’s a pained laugh full of more scorn than joy. Reaching up with his left hand, he bites and tears at a small piece of his thumb nail, pulling the jagged piece free and spitting it to the side.
”I had the world on a string. I was the only man in IWF who stood undefeated, had the most glorious reign with the Cruiserweight title, and had knocked off some of the biggest names this company had to offer. Then it all sort of … slipped away.”
Absentmindedly, he rubs at his thumb – over and over on the same spot as it reddens and becomes raw. ”Before I knew it I was mixed up in one bad relationship after another; coming out on the losing end of each one.”
Looking down, he notes the state of his thumb and brings it up, licking it clean of the small trickle of blood that had pooled on the surface before rubbing if clean on his jeans and smiling back to the camera.
”Shit like that tends to take a piece of you when it all goes to pot.”
”Makes sense, then, that when I look at the man in the mirror today, I don’t recognize him” he sighs. ”There isn’t enough of the original left.”
He said it so nonchalantly you’d almost believe he’d come to terms with the statement. The fact was he was no better off today than he was when everything went to hell in a hand basket.
”It’s been a long and difficult journey to this point. I’ve climbed that mountain and stood poised … ready to make the jump to the main event scene and maybe even grab hold of the IWF Imperial title.” A smile broke across his face, proud of the moment when he nearly conquered the world … HIS world.
”I lost my footing; misjudged my grip; I fell.”
There was obvious pain in his voice; the sound of longing for a bygone time when things seemed to make more sense.
”I tumbled about as far down as I man could. Back down to the bottom where I was simply stepped over by the new recruits all trying to claw their way to the top. I can’t blame them, I’d have done the same, but you can’t expect me to be happy about my new lot in life” he says with a chuckle. Shaking his head he understands that there’s a part to play in this world for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that he’s necessarily destined to play this one.
He sneers, ”I look around this locker room and see collections of men and women who don’t deserve the chances they’ve been given.”
He knows that there are more than a few people backstage who’ll be none too pleased to see him after a loaded statement like that.
”This may sound like the pot calling the kettle black, and I’d agree. Maybe I didn’t deserve what came my way – but I sure as hell have tried my best to do it right the second, third, fourth … whatever time through I’m on now.” He rolls his eyes sarcastically. He knows he’d been given more chances at bat than most in the company, but after his initial string of home runs – all he’d been doing is strike out.
”I’m sick of it all … sick of the chances … sick of the setbacks.”
The word leaves his mouth like bile; the thought of it all truly making him sick.
”There was a time when I’d have done whatever it took to reach the top. I’d have stabbed my own grandmother in the back if it meant moving one step closer to my goals” he admits.
”I was a terrible person, and I’m not convinced I’ve changed all that much. Part of me wants to change, to wave a magic wand and get things to go back to the way they were;”
Pictures flash through his mind of the past atrocities that he committed in the name of himself as well as others. He knew he was as far from saint as it came, but he need not let that define himself anymore.
”but I don’t think my fairy godmother is taking my calls anymore” he says with a pained grin.
”I’ve burned bridges, built grudges and basically bitten ever hand offering me food in some way over the past five months. I don’t deserve to even BE on this pay-per-view but I guess if it means getting my hands on the Blacks, and getting Mason a little more time in the spotlight, I’ll take it.”
”It really boils down to this one match. Probably hidden in the middle of an already amazing card, it doesn’t matter to me. This is a chance to get out there, stretch my legs and do something I love.”
”I’ve focused too much lately on all the seriousness of this sport and allowed people like Angel, Ana, the rest of the Age of X, Renee, Bates … and even myself to suck the fun out of it. I let their bat shit crazy lives bleed into mine …”
”I lost sight of the fact that just because they enjoyed living soap operatic lives, I didn’t need to choose the same thing for myself.”
”I let THEIR drama become MY drama, and that’s when I started wrapping myself in chains for my eventual high dive plunge.”
He remembers looking back on the state of things and not even remembering when it had stopped being fun.
”They nearly drowned me in their negativity and self promotion. It’s obvious that since day one they’ve been out for themselves. Valentine smiling through shark teeth as she sold me snake oil by the gallons. Aside from Angel she was the biggest liar of the bunch.”
Everything, he thought to himself, always seemed to revolve around her. Even when she said she was doing it for Angel … she just had to make sure that the spotlight was firmly and forever pointed in her direction. How many times did she maneuver the Diamond’s division to where it was her headlining the marquee? Every meeting they’d had since he’d been indoctrinated with the AoX had begun with her dictating their next steps which always seemed to put her in prime contention for everything.
”I don’t blame her, though, how can I? Wasn’t I the one who followed her? Seems like that’s become my modus operandi of late; though I can only hope that after this weekend, it’s the rest of the Age of X that follows me.”
Follow him straight to hell, he thought to himself.
”That’s really it, isn’t it? After all the chaos that they’ve wrought, my best bet lays in them following my lead” he laughs. He knew the absurdity of the idea but still, it was plausible.
”Who else knows them as intimately as I do? Who else has been as deep into that rabbit hole and come away, at least some, of their sanity?”
There was heavy emphasis placed there on ‘some’.
”I’ve been hard pressed to ignore the writing on the walls for a while now, but the truth is that my time is coming in IWF. Everything that I’ve been through, everything I’ve caused … there’s some healing that needs to be done. Dr. Griffiths and I have agreed upon a course of treatment, but it all hinges on detaching myself from the source of my torment.”
The look on his face said it all … what he had to give up in order to become whole once more.
”Therein lays my problem. The source of my torment is also the source of my greatest joy. Looking back at my career over the past nearly two decades, I’ve wrestled in quite a few places but very few ever felt as truly ‘home’ as IWF. In order to save myself I’m being told that I need to let go of the one thing that seemingly held me together.”
He looked down at his fingers, interweaving them together in a latticework. He had a hard time swallowing that pill; that giving up the only thing that brought him joy would allow him to be happy? Somewhere, deep down inside, he knew Griffith was right; he just hated to think that IWF could have poisoned him this deeply.
”I don’t know what the future holds for me, if all the king’s men will be able to put me back together again, but I sure as hell know that if this is going to be my last hurrah for a while, I’m going out with a smile on my face.” This is hammered home as a sly smile splits his mouth, white teeth gleaming against the iridescent glow of the cell phone.
”Frank … Eddie … you two have done more to try and keep that smile away than anyone. It’s only fitting that I stand across the ring from you this weekend. It’ll be my turn to watch the smiles fade from your faces while the realization sets in. You’ll have lost to a broken man … and I don’t envy you stepping into the AoX’s locker room after that.”
The very thought of the wrath that Angel would unleash upon the pair brought a smile to his face. Who knows, the outcome for this match may end up being the catalyst for the fall of the Age of X.
”I’m not expecting fairness, I’m not expecting leniency or good sportsmanship … but I’m sure as hell not expecting excuses when all is said and done. You two boys have heaped shovel after shovel of hurt onto me and Mason for some time now, but we’re the ones who’re holding the shovels now.
It wasn’t too long ago that you called me a mindless follower, Eddie; remember that crack? It stung, but like they say … the truth hurts. I was a follower, am a follower. It’s in my DNA now and something that I need to fundamentally change about my character … but not before I follow your lead and use the tricks and tactics that got you to the head of Angel’s class” he says with a sneer.
”This weekend … this weekend is YOUR chance to quit because knocking your punk ass out is too damn good for you” he spits before grinning wickedly.
“Time to find out what I’ll do next, boys … ‘cause even I haven’t got a clue.”
Well howdy there pardner.