Post by Ryan Shane on Jun 16, 2013 5:22:15 GMT
I don’t understand what’s happening. It wasn’t that long ago when I was making everyone take notice. Or was it? My career started off so on fire there was nothing for it to do but cool down. I just didn’t expect it to go ice cold. It’s been happening for awhile though, and I’m not sure how to fix it. It’s not that I don’t work hard. I bust my ass everyday in the gym to keep in shape, and improve in the ring. No one can say otherwise. I’ve made the sacrifices I’ve needed to get ahead. I have lost friendships, and lovers, including the love of my life. All I do is give, and lately I’ve gotten nothing in return. I’m not sure how much longer I can do this. I love wrestling, but I’m not sure it feels the same way about Ryan Shane. I’m supposed to be the “Right Now” superstar, but all I’ve become is a flash in the pan.
I wish I could just walk away. That I didn’t grow to love this business more than myself. It would be easier to move on, because I’m not sure how much more disappointment I can put myself through. Who else beside myself would I let down? Brian? He would surely understand. He has left the business to pursue other interest. It wasn’t because he was no longer successful. What about Jake Keeton? He was the most instrumental in my early success. What would he say if I just quit on the business. Jake is a man who has given everything as well and if wrestling were taken away from him it would surely kill him. Do I feel the same way? I like to think I do, but I think about the what ifs. If I could walk away maybe I could have a normal life. That’s probably just a pipe dream as well. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to happy or successful again, but I need to make a change. I’m leaning one way but I have a lot to think about. Next week could change everything.
June 10th, 2013
Ryan Shane is demoralized, almost broken, as he carries his gym bag over his shoulder. He exits the Sears Center through the special entrance designated for wrestlers and makes his way to his car.
Oh shit!
As he approaches the car he looks up at the last second and sees his cousin Brian standing there, waiting. Ryan tries to make himself look cheerful as to not let on about how he really feels. When he gets to the car Brian greets him.
Brian: Nice job out there tonight. It was nice to see the effort.
Ryan Shane: I always give it my all. I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t call losing nice.
Brian: Well, technically you lost, but you weren’t the one who took the fall. I think that’s a step up from the week before. Plus you have a lot to be proud of. The main event is a big deal.
He might be right about that. I didn’t even think about it.
Ryan Shane: It still would have been nice to win, get some points, maybe going for the Cruiserweight championship.
Brian: A blessing in disguise. Now you get a shot to be Imperial champion.
Ryan Shane: Hardly. I would have to finish in the top eight and then win a tournament. I would say my chances are slim to none.
Brian: But there is still a chance, and that’s worth giving it your all. Now hop in the car. I’m driving.
The two men enter the car and make the short drive back to the hotel they are staying at. The ride makes Ryan slip back into his sad sack state from losing.
Brian: You are quiet…
Ryan Shane: Just have a lot on my mind.
Brian: I get it, but don’t but any pressure on yourself. Just do your best, things will work out. They always do.
Ryan Shane: To be honest, wrestling isn’t really what I’m thinking about.
Ryan can’t see it but he knows his cousin is rolling his eyes.
Brian: You have to let it go man.
Ryan Shane: I can’t. I just want you to listen. I’m quitting the wrestling business.
The news hits Brian like a ton of bricks and he almost drives the car off the road. As they come to stop on a shoulder it takes him a moment to calm down.
Brian: You can’t quit! You would be throwing everything you worked so hard for away.
Ryan Shane: I don’t care anymore! Since Amber Lynn left nothing has been the same. I’m going to quit and get her back.
Brian: She isn’t coming back, you know that.
Ryan Shane: Well I’m not going to stop fighting for her.
There is silence for a few minutes when Brian finally speaks.
Brian: If you want to quit, I can’t stop you. I would be disappointed but it’s your life. You can do whatever you want. Just do me a favor. Wait for after Bloody Assizes and the Heir to the Throne battle royale. I feel you have a really good chance to get one of those spots. If you do maybe you will see how wrong of a choice you are making.
Ryan doesn’t answer and Brian pulls back onto the road, continuing the drive to the hotel.
Brian can be relentless sometimes, especially when it comes to getting what he wants. I really wish he would resume his own career and get the hell out of mind. I gave in and told him I would wait until Bloody Assizes to retire from the ring. It’s what I had to do if I ever wanted to get some sleep. He means well, and really it’s just one more week. It’s not going to do much good. My heart won’t be in it, because it no longer belongs to professional wrestling. From this moment on and forever, it belongs to her.
June 15th, 2013
Ryan is lying on the mat of some run down wrestling ring. He is drenched in sweat and his clothes look like he just stepped in from a down pour. His breathing is heavy and it takes all his strength just to motion for a bottle of water. As soon as he gets it he opens it and takes a drink from his back, spilling most of it on his face.
Ryan Shane: What the hell are you trying to do to me?
Brian: Get you prepared.
Ryan Shane: I told you I was retiring after this week. I didn’t think I would be worked this hard.
Brian: So you wanted me to take it easy on you? That’s not something I would have ever expected to hear from you.
Ryan Shane: I was hoping, but I did everything you wanted.
Brian: I know, and I appreciate that. You didn’t give up at all this week. That’s why I wish you weren’t willing to give up wrestling.
Ryan Shane: You agreed that if I gave it my all this week you wouldn’t try to talk me out of it.
Brian: I know. I think you are ready though. You might just surprise yourself.
Ryan Shane: Physically I am ready. I can tell my body is willing to leave it all in the ring. I just know my heart isn’t on the same page. I wish it could be, for this week. I told you I would give it my all, just not sure if that will extend till tomorrow night.
Brian: I think it will. Once the adrenaline hits you will be fine. I believe in you.
Ryan Shane: I know you do. I’m just not sure if that will be enough.
Brian: Damn it! Stop moping, please for one day. I get it you don’t care what happens. But could you at least pretend? Is that too much to ask? I know you want Amber Lynn back, but do you think she will want this version of Ryan Shane? Or the one she fell in love with?
Ryan Shane: I am still the same guy I have always been. Wrestling just got in the way.
Brian: No, being arrogant got in the way. I am glad you have humbled yourself somewhat but you need to be that guy more often.
Ryan Shane: I will be, when I don’t have to worry about putting on a show.
Brian: If you say so. Now if you are done with that water, we have work to do.
Ryan Shane: I thought we were through for the day.
Brian: I changed my mind.
I thought I had my mind made up. Why should I even bother showing up to Soldier Field? I haven’t done anything to earn a spot on Bloody Assizes. I sure as hell haven’t done anything to be in the main event battle royale. None of it matters does it? It’s nothing more than a gift given to us less worthy. If you can’t be a champion here is something else to fight for. In my eyes it’s nothing but scraps. Scraps that I still don’t deserve. The way things are going I don’t expect to win it, or even finish in the top eight. No, the Heir to the Throne tournament is not being planned with Ryan Shane in mind. Yet, maybe I might just sneak in there after all. All I need to do is fight, survive, something I’m great at. Hell, I might be able to hide in a corner forgotten if worst comes to worst. That’s not my style, but desperate times…well let’s just say I’m not above doing what I need to.
If losing my first two matches have left me with any advantage it’s this. No one should be looking at me as a threat. I mean I’m the guy who lost to Mike Machado, someone everyone laughed at until recently. I shouldn’t be considered on the same level as anyone here, and they way I have performed I would agree. I was ready to give up because I didn’t think there was anything left for me in this business. That the well had dried up. I have more one chance to change my fate. All I need to do is finish in the top eight and then maybe I will get my groove back. With renewed confidence I might just change my mind, and everyone else’s as well. It might take more than one night, but it’s a start, and I have to start somewhere.
The first step might be checking my ego at the door. It doesn’t matter to anyone in the IWF about how good I used to be, or what I’ve done. Why should they care? When it came time to find a new company to work for I looked at the roster and thought to myself, easy pickings. I was wrong. I was so wrong. I took a look at unfamiliar names and thought if I didn’t know who they are they must not be any good. That was the first mistake I made. The second mistake was bitching about being on a house show. I cried like I was a diva, like I deserved better than everyone else. I can’t make any more mistakes if I am going to turn things around. I’m just glad there are so many variables to the match. I just need to reel things in and be smart. I need to not into the match thinking I am going to win. I need to think like I’m going to lose. Like I said, whatever it takes. Self preservation is the key.
I’m not even sure who all will be in the ring. That won’t be decided until the dust has settled on the championship matches. All I know is that the ring is going to be full of men focused on one thing, being the first Imperial champion. This is only the first step, but they will have hunger in their eyes. I hope I can be half as hungry. Normally I would run my opponents into the ground, tell them how they aren’t worth a damn. Again, what would be the point? I don’t know these men. I don’t know how good they are. All I know is that we find ourselves on the same roster, facing the same obstacles. Even if it isn’t so, that makes us all equals. I want to wish everyone good luck. I hope you all get what you want out of Bloody Assizes. For most of you that means gold, or a spot in the Heir to the Throne tournament. If I get a spot I will do everything I can to win. If not, I will spend the rest of my life trying to win back my soul mate. I will see you all Sunday
I wish I could just walk away. That I didn’t grow to love this business more than myself. It would be easier to move on, because I’m not sure how much more disappointment I can put myself through. Who else beside myself would I let down? Brian? He would surely understand. He has left the business to pursue other interest. It wasn’t because he was no longer successful. What about Jake Keeton? He was the most instrumental in my early success. What would he say if I just quit on the business. Jake is a man who has given everything as well and if wrestling were taken away from him it would surely kill him. Do I feel the same way? I like to think I do, but I think about the what ifs. If I could walk away maybe I could have a normal life. That’s probably just a pipe dream as well. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to happy or successful again, but I need to make a change. I’m leaning one way but I have a lot to think about. Next week could change everything.
June 10th, 2013
Ryan Shane is demoralized, almost broken, as he carries his gym bag over his shoulder. He exits the Sears Center through the special entrance designated for wrestlers and makes his way to his car.
Oh shit!
As he approaches the car he looks up at the last second and sees his cousin Brian standing there, waiting. Ryan tries to make himself look cheerful as to not let on about how he really feels. When he gets to the car Brian greets him.
Brian: Nice job out there tonight. It was nice to see the effort.
Ryan Shane: I always give it my all. I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t call losing nice.
Brian: Well, technically you lost, but you weren’t the one who took the fall. I think that’s a step up from the week before. Plus you have a lot to be proud of. The main event is a big deal.
He might be right about that. I didn’t even think about it.
Ryan Shane: It still would have been nice to win, get some points, maybe going for the Cruiserweight championship.
Brian: A blessing in disguise. Now you get a shot to be Imperial champion.
Ryan Shane: Hardly. I would have to finish in the top eight and then win a tournament. I would say my chances are slim to none.
Brian: But there is still a chance, and that’s worth giving it your all. Now hop in the car. I’m driving.
The two men enter the car and make the short drive back to the hotel they are staying at. The ride makes Ryan slip back into his sad sack state from losing.
Brian: You are quiet…
Ryan Shane: Just have a lot on my mind.
Brian: I get it, but don’t but any pressure on yourself. Just do your best, things will work out. They always do.
Ryan Shane: To be honest, wrestling isn’t really what I’m thinking about.
Ryan can’t see it but he knows his cousin is rolling his eyes.
Brian: You have to let it go man.
Ryan Shane: I can’t. I just want you to listen. I’m quitting the wrestling business.
The news hits Brian like a ton of bricks and he almost drives the car off the road. As they come to stop on a shoulder it takes him a moment to calm down.
Brian: You can’t quit! You would be throwing everything you worked so hard for away.
Ryan Shane: I don’t care anymore! Since Amber Lynn left nothing has been the same. I’m going to quit and get her back.
Brian: She isn’t coming back, you know that.
Ryan Shane: Well I’m not going to stop fighting for her.
There is silence for a few minutes when Brian finally speaks.
Brian: If you want to quit, I can’t stop you. I would be disappointed but it’s your life. You can do whatever you want. Just do me a favor. Wait for after Bloody Assizes and the Heir to the Throne battle royale. I feel you have a really good chance to get one of those spots. If you do maybe you will see how wrong of a choice you are making.
Ryan doesn’t answer and Brian pulls back onto the road, continuing the drive to the hotel.
Brian can be relentless sometimes, especially when it comes to getting what he wants. I really wish he would resume his own career and get the hell out of mind. I gave in and told him I would wait until Bloody Assizes to retire from the ring. It’s what I had to do if I ever wanted to get some sleep. He means well, and really it’s just one more week. It’s not going to do much good. My heart won’t be in it, because it no longer belongs to professional wrestling. From this moment on and forever, it belongs to her.
June 15th, 2013
Ryan is lying on the mat of some run down wrestling ring. He is drenched in sweat and his clothes look like he just stepped in from a down pour. His breathing is heavy and it takes all his strength just to motion for a bottle of water. As soon as he gets it he opens it and takes a drink from his back, spilling most of it on his face.
Ryan Shane: What the hell are you trying to do to me?
Brian: Get you prepared.
Ryan Shane: I told you I was retiring after this week. I didn’t think I would be worked this hard.
Brian: So you wanted me to take it easy on you? That’s not something I would have ever expected to hear from you.
Ryan Shane: I was hoping, but I did everything you wanted.
Brian: I know, and I appreciate that. You didn’t give up at all this week. That’s why I wish you weren’t willing to give up wrestling.
Ryan Shane: You agreed that if I gave it my all this week you wouldn’t try to talk me out of it.
Brian: I know. I think you are ready though. You might just surprise yourself.
Ryan Shane: Physically I am ready. I can tell my body is willing to leave it all in the ring. I just know my heart isn’t on the same page. I wish it could be, for this week. I told you I would give it my all, just not sure if that will extend till tomorrow night.
Brian: I think it will. Once the adrenaline hits you will be fine. I believe in you.
Ryan Shane: I know you do. I’m just not sure if that will be enough.
Brian: Damn it! Stop moping, please for one day. I get it you don’t care what happens. But could you at least pretend? Is that too much to ask? I know you want Amber Lynn back, but do you think she will want this version of Ryan Shane? Or the one she fell in love with?
Ryan Shane: I am still the same guy I have always been. Wrestling just got in the way.
Brian: No, being arrogant got in the way. I am glad you have humbled yourself somewhat but you need to be that guy more often.
Ryan Shane: I will be, when I don’t have to worry about putting on a show.
Brian: If you say so. Now if you are done with that water, we have work to do.
Ryan Shane: I thought we were through for the day.
Brian: I changed my mind.
I thought I had my mind made up. Why should I even bother showing up to Soldier Field? I haven’t done anything to earn a spot on Bloody Assizes. I sure as hell haven’t done anything to be in the main event battle royale. None of it matters does it? It’s nothing more than a gift given to us less worthy. If you can’t be a champion here is something else to fight for. In my eyes it’s nothing but scraps. Scraps that I still don’t deserve. The way things are going I don’t expect to win it, or even finish in the top eight. No, the Heir to the Throne tournament is not being planned with Ryan Shane in mind. Yet, maybe I might just sneak in there after all. All I need to do is fight, survive, something I’m great at. Hell, I might be able to hide in a corner forgotten if worst comes to worst. That’s not my style, but desperate times…well let’s just say I’m not above doing what I need to.
If losing my first two matches have left me with any advantage it’s this. No one should be looking at me as a threat. I mean I’m the guy who lost to Mike Machado, someone everyone laughed at until recently. I shouldn’t be considered on the same level as anyone here, and they way I have performed I would agree. I was ready to give up because I didn’t think there was anything left for me in this business. That the well had dried up. I have more one chance to change my fate. All I need to do is finish in the top eight and then maybe I will get my groove back. With renewed confidence I might just change my mind, and everyone else’s as well. It might take more than one night, but it’s a start, and I have to start somewhere.
The first step might be checking my ego at the door. It doesn’t matter to anyone in the IWF about how good I used to be, or what I’ve done. Why should they care? When it came time to find a new company to work for I looked at the roster and thought to myself, easy pickings. I was wrong. I was so wrong. I took a look at unfamiliar names and thought if I didn’t know who they are they must not be any good. That was the first mistake I made. The second mistake was bitching about being on a house show. I cried like I was a diva, like I deserved better than everyone else. I can’t make any more mistakes if I am going to turn things around. I’m just glad there are so many variables to the match. I just need to reel things in and be smart. I need to not into the match thinking I am going to win. I need to think like I’m going to lose. Like I said, whatever it takes. Self preservation is the key.
I’m not even sure who all will be in the ring. That won’t be decided until the dust has settled on the championship matches. All I know is that the ring is going to be full of men focused on one thing, being the first Imperial champion. This is only the first step, but they will have hunger in their eyes. I hope I can be half as hungry. Normally I would run my opponents into the ground, tell them how they aren’t worth a damn. Again, what would be the point? I don’t know these men. I don’t know how good they are. All I know is that we find ourselves on the same roster, facing the same obstacles. Even if it isn’t so, that makes us all equals. I want to wish everyone good luck. I hope you all get what you want out of Bloody Assizes. For most of you that means gold, or a spot in the Heir to the Throne tournament. If I get a spot I will do everything I can to win. If not, I will spend the rest of my life trying to win back my soul mate. I will see you all Sunday
Well howdy there pardner.