Jake Conway Voted Sexiest Man Alive!!!!!!!

[Eddie D.]

In what some are considering an upset unlike any upset before now, Jake "The Ace" Conway has been voted Sexiest Man Alive by the often fallible and fictitious IWF magazine.

Supposedly there were a list of over one dozen names, names that were eliminated for one reason or another like an ugly ass mole on the left ass cheek of Alex Jones or way too much make up to be a man like Angel Blake until the only name left was the chiseled out of granite body of the one and only Jake Conway.

IWF magazine and it's editor, Rob Diamond, reached out to Jake Conway for comment but he wasn't answering his phone so Rob Diamond instead commented for him.

"Wow, I don't know what to say. First I'd like to thank my wife for always being there and supporting my amazing body. Second I'd like to thank God, not that piddly ass in the face paint but the real one. Third, gotta thank my wife again, man she's amazing."

IWF Magazine would like to say congratulations to Jake Conway and man do you have one nice body. In case anyone forgot here is a picture of Mr. Conway to get you through the lonely nights.

[Damien Sparks]

Keen to follow up on the controversy created by this most unlikely victory, IWF's part time Media Moghul Damien Sparks, having nothing better to do with his Friday afternoon decided to see if he could get to the bottom of how such a monumental accolade is achieved by a man who hasn't been seen in months.

His investigation revealed shocking evidence of a deep rooted Conway corruption scandal beating at the very heart of IWF which according to a group of nerds on the internet reveals that the voting was rigged and engineered to operate ever since the inception of the company when Jake Conway took advantage of his relationship with Roberto Verona and placed several friends and members of his close family in key roles within the company infrastructure and bided his time until today.

Key votes are said to have come from several women named Kathy, Katherine, Kate, Catherine, Kathryn, and Cat who all noted that he is the best Ass in the business, a sentiment few of his colleagues could argue with.

[Dark Lord Simon de Montfort]

IWF would like to wish Mr Conway all the best in his latest victory, just like the Scottish Refendum Jake scored big in the grey vote.