Post by Eddie D. on Jun 18, 2013 13:27:15 GMT
HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
INFAMOUS ARE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so freaking happy right now I could explode. No, seriously. You have no freaking idea what this means to me right now, man. I've been a tag champ twice in my whole wrestling career and neither time was I teamed with someone I absolutely trusted and liked as much as Spike Freaking Kane. I mean, no offense to Andy J, but Spike Kane is like my brother from another mother. So this win means just a little bit more to me.
Man, I don't even know where to start. I wanna thank God first for giving me the talent and good looks to make it this far. Spike of course for being so goddamned crazy. Uhhh, I'd like to thank my mom, my dad, hell I'll even thank Chris. I just really want to thank everybody that's ever had anything to do with me being the man who just WHOOPED THE ASSES OF EVERY SINGLE LEGIT TAG TEAM IN IWF WITH THE SEXIEST GOD OF XTREME ON THE PLANET!!!! And I here by invite all of you out for drinks.
First rounds on me....
The next morning.
OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! My head....
Ally: Wake up, Rob.
Rob: No.
Ally: Rob, come on, time to get up and take some Excedrin and eat a nice protein rich breakfast.
Rob: Grrrrr....
The sun, she is bright and my head feels like it got smashed between two chairs... Ally is standing over me... Where am I? Ah, hotel bathroom floor, sweet. Classy. She helps me up, I try to pretend like she doesn't look amazing in that tube top and boy shorts but damn is Spike a lucky man.
I find my partner and co tag team champion of the whole WORLD! In the living room of the hotel room, playing with Xander. The two of them are play wrestling on the couch as I plop my ass down at the kitchen bar. Ally drops a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me, runny yolks, just the way I like 'em.
Rob: How's he do it, Al?
Ally: Do what?
She tilts her head as she watches her men play.
Rob: That. Look at him. That son of a bitch right there just to war with me last night, nearly killed himself and every other mother trucker in the ring to win some tag team gold and now he's sitting there playing with a kid like he isn't a blood thirsty savage. How's he do it?
She giggles but it's a serious question.
Ally: Because Rob, there's a fine line between Spike Kane, the God of Xtreme and Mike Kane, the best dad on the planet.
Rob: Yeah, I can see that, but how's he do it? How's he do what we do and then do that?
Ally: Let me ask you something, when you were with Zelda, didn't you show her another side of yourself? A kinder, gentler side?
Rob: Umm...
Heh...
Rob: Not really... I mean, I was nicer to her than I was to most people but we were both pretty self centered people...
Ally: So you're saying that the Rob who kicks people in the crotch for a living is the same Rob who's sitting across from me right now?
Rob: Yeah... And that's sorta what I'm worried about.
Ally: Why?
Rob: Because I wouldn't want me to raise a kid...
And now she gets why I was asking.
Ally: Rob... When I was younger, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to raise a kid. I didn't think I had a maternal bone in my body to be honest but when it happened, when that little life was in my hands and I realized what it meant to me to care about this tiny little human... It just came to me. I know you may not think so but you're a good person, Rob, a good friend and you'll be a great father. The fact that you're so worried about it is all the proof you need.
Wow... Never really thought about it that way...
Rob: Thanks Al... I appreciate that.
Ally: Anytime. Now stop being a bitch and eat breakfast, we've got a plane to catch.
Rob: Right away, sir.
Ally:
The life of a world champion isn't an easy one, lucky for IWF they've got Spike and I as Tag Team Champions of the World, so we'll make this look easy. It's what we're besstest at. See, we can train all day, all night, bust our ass just for the joy of busting our ass and when we get in that ring, behind that mic, we make it look effortless. It doesn't matter how much blood, sweat or tears we spilled to get there, we make it look like clock work just to piss you off. That's why you find me in Spike's home gym, resting against the wall. You don't know whether or not I just got done doing a million military presses or not, you don't know if I just ran six hundred miles on that tread mill over there. All you know is I'm resting against the wall, smile on my face, title belt over my shoulder, designer jeans and a shirt I bought at the thrift shop, something with a kitten on it, and you can't shake the urge to punch me right in the mouth.
The way I like it.
Rob: Hey, this IWF World Tag Team Champion Rob Diamond speaking and I just want all ya'll to know...
Long, overly dramatic pause.
Rob: I love you.
We call that a swerve.
Rob: See, this past Sunday night IWF had it's first ever pay per view, a pay per view that every other pay per view from this day forward is going to be measured by. And on that night there was one match, one lone match that EVERYONE is going to be looking at that will forever define Bloody Assizes. ONE MATCH! And that match, you guessed it, featured Rob Diamond and Spike Kane laying waste to the entire Tag Team Division. Now, you know I like to toot my own horn but we did warn you. We told you what we were going to do, how we were going to do it and that no one was going to get in our way. We warned you.
Google it, we did.
Rob: Now we stand here, the stars of the first pay per view, the first WORLD CHAMPIONS of this Division. We have set the bar so far above the rest of that it's going to take a goddamn jet back to ever even get close to. But that don't mean you shouldn't try. What I'm basically saying is this... InFamous > you.
Mathematical fact, baby.
Rob: However, while we were setting the bar for the company and every match to ever happen after that, another man was setting the bar for his division, and while it's a bar Spike and I can easily step over, it's still pretty high when compared to the gentlemen he curb stomped on Bloody Assizes. I'm talking about you, Bushido.
His determination comes pork fried.
Rob: Now, I could sit here, like everyone else and point to your lack luster history in some other company but honestly, you're the Cruiser Weight Champion of IWF so whatever happened some place else really doesn't matter anymore. Our future can no longer be compared to our past because you and me, Bushy, are trend setters to our respective division. Now I don't want to blow smoke up your ass, clearly I'm still going to beat you, I just want you to know that I no longer expect it to be a walk in the park like I would have back in the glory days. Nope. I totally get that this is going to be somewhat of a fight for me and one hell of an effort on your part to knock me off my high horse. Thing is Bushy, while I can respect what you've done since you got here and all the effort you've put into turning your career into something viable and thriving... I'm still going to crush your big ass head on Sacrifice.
Big head? Little body? Crazy pope like hat? I don't really know, the statement stands.
Rob: I'm not trying to take anything away from you Bushy, not at all. Hell, you walked into a match this past Sunday night, hell bent on stepping over the bodies of some of the best and brightest my ex brother in law could find and ya did. Ya stepped over the broken bodies of four other men, at least one of them being a certified hall of fame wrestler and you claimed that lovely piece of gold for yourself. Congrats. I can honestly say I enjoyed your match. BUT, I've got bad news for you. See, while you were able to overcome men who may or may not be better wrestlers than you in a no rules environment, our match has got plenty of rules. Rules that I am fluent in not all bending and twisting but breaking and destroying just to get my way. See, rules, no rules, it's all the same to me. And while I'm sure you can blow some smoke up my ass about kicking my teeth down my throat and all this other jazz, that's all it is, smoke. When I tell you I'm going to break every single rule in the ring just to see your pearly whites stained red as you cough up your own blood just to get a win, it's the absolute truth. Now, I'm not promising victory, ya never can in a match like this, but I am promising that you, Bushy, will understand why you open shows and InFamous... IS the show.
#InFamous. It's at this point I adjust my lovely tag team title and almost sneer as I look at the cam before me. I'm moving on to the other man in this match, a lovable little Freakke, you could say.
Rob: Now we've got ourselves a little X factor in this match. A man whose capable on any given night to give even the best wrestlers in the world a run for their money, though he probably won't. A man who has made a career out of being just good enough to not be fired. A man who the children love, parents love and most wrestlers can't freaKKing stand. See what I did there? Of course I'm talking about FREAKKE THE MOTHER LOVING CLOWN!!!!
Sometimes I almost wish he'd go off the deep end and become like some sadistic serial killer clown in a slipknot mask just because that'd scare the crap out of most people. Ah well.
Rob: Freakke, I know most people would over look you but then, most people didn't dress up like a super villain and go onto become a World Champion and Hall of Fame wrestler. So I'm not going to over look you. I know what it means to disguise your talent behind a clever costume. Lures most people into a false sense of security as they just expect their going to kick a clowns ass. I mean really, who looks at a guy juggling balls at children's party and thinks best in the world? Not most people. But then, like I said, I ain't most people. I'm Rob Diamond. I may or may not be Lord Dominicus. I may know exactly what someone like you is capable when they've got the drive to get it done. I saw your promos over the weekend, looks to me like someone lit a fire under your ass and that performance at Bloody Assizes? Captivating...
Respect comes to an end in T minus 3... 2...1.
Rob: But then again, your best wasn't good enough and you still walked away from that match empty handed and with one more fused vertebrae in your neck. While I'm sure the people loved watching you do what you do best, I know deep down inside that loss stung. I saw it in your eyes, Freakke, how bad you wanted that win. How much you NEEDED that win. I can feel it, Freakke, the pressure building, your desire to get your career moving. You look around and see people like Machado, Bushido, Xavier Cross going from being the most disrespected and looked down upon stars in the company, like yourself, and you see them accomplishing great things. Things you have only dreamed of accomplishing.
It's gotta sting.
Rob: And you just want it to be you. You want so badly for it to be you. You want to be another one of the guys who turns his career around and really makes a name for himself in IWF... I guess the only real question is... Can you? Are you capable of such a thing? Do you have it in you to really find that balance between entertainer and wrestler and make shit happen? I can't answer that for you, Freakke. I don't want to. Honestly? I don't care. See, unlike yourself, I know what I'm capable of. I know on any given night I could go from curtain jerking to main eventing. I know I will be in the IWF Hall of Fame one day because I know I'm too good to keep out. You? You gotta answer that question for yourself. But understand, while you're trying to figure out Monday Night if you've really got what it takes to wrestle two of the best this company has to offer in myself and Bushido... I already know I do. I can. I will. And if I have to, I'll make sure you never do.
I raise my belt above my head because it just feels like the thing to do.
Rob: Suck it.
Crotch chop, cut, I'm out.
INFAMOUS ARE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm so freaking happy right now I could explode. No, seriously. You have no freaking idea what this means to me right now, man. I've been a tag champ twice in my whole wrestling career and neither time was I teamed with someone I absolutely trusted and liked as much as Spike Freaking Kane. I mean, no offense to Andy J, but Spike Kane is like my brother from another mother. So this win means just a little bit more to me.
Man, I don't even know where to start. I wanna thank God first for giving me the talent and good looks to make it this far. Spike of course for being so goddamned crazy. Uhhh, I'd like to thank my mom, my dad, hell I'll even thank Chris. I just really want to thank everybody that's ever had anything to do with me being the man who just WHOOPED THE ASSES OF EVERY SINGLE LEGIT TAG TEAM IN IWF WITH THE SEXIEST GOD OF XTREME ON THE PLANET!!!! And I here by invite all of you out for drinks.
First rounds on me....
The next morning.
OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! My head....
Ally: Wake up, Rob.
Rob: No.
Ally: Rob, come on, time to get up and take some Excedrin and eat a nice protein rich breakfast.
Rob: Grrrrr....
The sun, she is bright and my head feels like it got smashed between two chairs... Ally is standing over me... Where am I? Ah, hotel bathroom floor, sweet. Classy. She helps me up, I try to pretend like she doesn't look amazing in that tube top and boy shorts but damn is Spike a lucky man.
I find my partner and co tag team champion of the whole WORLD! In the living room of the hotel room, playing with Xander. The two of them are play wrestling on the couch as I plop my ass down at the kitchen bar. Ally drops a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me, runny yolks, just the way I like 'em.
Rob: How's he do it, Al?
Ally: Do what?
She tilts her head as she watches her men play.
Rob: That. Look at him. That son of a bitch right there just to war with me last night, nearly killed himself and every other mother trucker in the ring to win some tag team gold and now he's sitting there playing with a kid like he isn't a blood thirsty savage. How's he do it?
She giggles but it's a serious question.
Ally: Because Rob, there's a fine line between Spike Kane, the God of Xtreme and Mike Kane, the best dad on the planet.
Rob: Yeah, I can see that, but how's he do it? How's he do what we do and then do that?
Ally: Let me ask you something, when you were with Zelda, didn't you show her another side of yourself? A kinder, gentler side?
Rob: Umm...
Heh...
Rob: Not really... I mean, I was nicer to her than I was to most people but we were both pretty self centered people...
Ally: So you're saying that the Rob who kicks people in the crotch for a living is the same Rob who's sitting across from me right now?
Rob: Yeah... And that's sorta what I'm worried about.
Ally: Why?
Rob: Because I wouldn't want me to raise a kid...
And now she gets why I was asking.
Ally: Rob... When I was younger, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to raise a kid. I didn't think I had a maternal bone in my body to be honest but when it happened, when that little life was in my hands and I realized what it meant to me to care about this tiny little human... It just came to me. I know you may not think so but you're a good person, Rob, a good friend and you'll be a great father. The fact that you're so worried about it is all the proof you need.
Wow... Never really thought about it that way...
Rob: Thanks Al... I appreciate that.
Ally: Anytime. Now stop being a bitch and eat breakfast, we've got a plane to catch.
Rob: Right away, sir.
Ally:
The life of a world champion isn't an easy one, lucky for IWF they've got Spike and I as Tag Team Champions of the World, so we'll make this look easy. It's what we're besstest at. See, we can train all day, all night, bust our ass just for the joy of busting our ass and when we get in that ring, behind that mic, we make it look effortless. It doesn't matter how much blood, sweat or tears we spilled to get there, we make it look like clock work just to piss you off. That's why you find me in Spike's home gym, resting against the wall. You don't know whether or not I just got done doing a million military presses or not, you don't know if I just ran six hundred miles on that tread mill over there. All you know is I'm resting against the wall, smile on my face, title belt over my shoulder, designer jeans and a shirt I bought at the thrift shop, something with a kitten on it, and you can't shake the urge to punch me right in the mouth.
The way I like it.
Rob: Hey, this IWF World Tag Team Champion Rob Diamond speaking and I just want all ya'll to know...
Long, overly dramatic pause.
Rob: I love you.
We call that a swerve.
Rob: See, this past Sunday night IWF had it's first ever pay per view, a pay per view that every other pay per view from this day forward is going to be measured by. And on that night there was one match, one lone match that EVERYONE is going to be looking at that will forever define Bloody Assizes. ONE MATCH! And that match, you guessed it, featured Rob Diamond and Spike Kane laying waste to the entire Tag Team Division. Now, you know I like to toot my own horn but we did warn you. We told you what we were going to do, how we were going to do it and that no one was going to get in our way. We warned you.
Google it, we did.
Rob: Now we stand here, the stars of the first pay per view, the first WORLD CHAMPIONS of this Division. We have set the bar so far above the rest of that it's going to take a goddamn jet back to ever even get close to. But that don't mean you shouldn't try. What I'm basically saying is this... InFamous > you.
Mathematical fact, baby.
Rob: However, while we were setting the bar for the company and every match to ever happen after that, another man was setting the bar for his division, and while it's a bar Spike and I can easily step over, it's still pretty high when compared to the gentlemen he curb stomped on Bloody Assizes. I'm talking about you, Bushido.
His determination comes pork fried.
Rob: Now, I could sit here, like everyone else and point to your lack luster history in some other company but honestly, you're the Cruiser Weight Champion of IWF so whatever happened some place else really doesn't matter anymore. Our future can no longer be compared to our past because you and me, Bushy, are trend setters to our respective division. Now I don't want to blow smoke up your ass, clearly I'm still going to beat you, I just want you to know that I no longer expect it to be a walk in the park like I would have back in the glory days. Nope. I totally get that this is going to be somewhat of a fight for me and one hell of an effort on your part to knock me off my high horse. Thing is Bushy, while I can respect what you've done since you got here and all the effort you've put into turning your career into something viable and thriving... I'm still going to crush your big ass head on Sacrifice.
Big head? Little body? Crazy pope like hat? I don't really know, the statement stands.
Rob: I'm not trying to take anything away from you Bushy, not at all. Hell, you walked into a match this past Sunday night, hell bent on stepping over the bodies of some of the best and brightest my ex brother in law could find and ya did. Ya stepped over the broken bodies of four other men, at least one of them being a certified hall of fame wrestler and you claimed that lovely piece of gold for yourself. Congrats. I can honestly say I enjoyed your match. BUT, I've got bad news for you. See, while you were able to overcome men who may or may not be better wrestlers than you in a no rules environment, our match has got plenty of rules. Rules that I am fluent in not all bending and twisting but breaking and destroying just to get my way. See, rules, no rules, it's all the same to me. And while I'm sure you can blow some smoke up my ass about kicking my teeth down my throat and all this other jazz, that's all it is, smoke. When I tell you I'm going to break every single rule in the ring just to see your pearly whites stained red as you cough up your own blood just to get a win, it's the absolute truth. Now, I'm not promising victory, ya never can in a match like this, but I am promising that you, Bushy, will understand why you open shows and InFamous... IS the show.
#InFamous. It's at this point I adjust my lovely tag team title and almost sneer as I look at the cam before me. I'm moving on to the other man in this match, a lovable little Freakke, you could say.
Rob: Now we've got ourselves a little X factor in this match. A man whose capable on any given night to give even the best wrestlers in the world a run for their money, though he probably won't. A man who has made a career out of being just good enough to not be fired. A man who the children love, parents love and most wrestlers can't freaKKing stand. See what I did there? Of course I'm talking about FREAKKE THE MOTHER LOVING CLOWN!!!!
Sometimes I almost wish he'd go off the deep end and become like some sadistic serial killer clown in a slipknot mask just because that'd scare the crap out of most people. Ah well.
Rob: Freakke, I know most people would over look you but then, most people didn't dress up like a super villain and go onto become a World Champion and Hall of Fame wrestler. So I'm not going to over look you. I know what it means to disguise your talent behind a clever costume. Lures most people into a false sense of security as they just expect their going to kick a clowns ass. I mean really, who looks at a guy juggling balls at children's party and thinks best in the world? Not most people. But then, like I said, I ain't most people. I'm Rob Diamond. I may or may not be Lord Dominicus. I may know exactly what someone like you is capable when they've got the drive to get it done. I saw your promos over the weekend, looks to me like someone lit a fire under your ass and that performance at Bloody Assizes? Captivating...
Respect comes to an end in T minus 3... 2...1.
Rob: But then again, your best wasn't good enough and you still walked away from that match empty handed and with one more fused vertebrae in your neck. While I'm sure the people loved watching you do what you do best, I know deep down inside that loss stung. I saw it in your eyes, Freakke, how bad you wanted that win. How much you NEEDED that win. I can feel it, Freakke, the pressure building, your desire to get your career moving. You look around and see people like Machado, Bushido, Xavier Cross going from being the most disrespected and looked down upon stars in the company, like yourself, and you see them accomplishing great things. Things you have only dreamed of accomplishing.
It's gotta sting.
Rob: And you just want it to be you. You want so badly for it to be you. You want to be another one of the guys who turns his career around and really makes a name for himself in IWF... I guess the only real question is... Can you? Are you capable of such a thing? Do you have it in you to really find that balance between entertainer and wrestler and make shit happen? I can't answer that for you, Freakke. I don't want to. Honestly? I don't care. See, unlike yourself, I know what I'm capable of. I know on any given night I could go from curtain jerking to main eventing. I know I will be in the IWF Hall of Fame one day because I know I'm too good to keep out. You? You gotta answer that question for yourself. But understand, while you're trying to figure out Monday Night if you've really got what it takes to wrestle two of the best this company has to offer in myself and Bushido... I already know I do. I can. I will. And if I have to, I'll make sure you never do.
I raise my belt above my head because it just feels like the thing to do.
Rob: Suck it.
Crotch chop, cut, I'm out.
Well howdy there pardner.