Post by Eddie D. on Dec 16, 2014 18:48:52 GMT
Parental advisory recommended.
Welcome one and all to Rob Diamond’s totally legit Top Ten Most Fuckable Diamonds Countdown!!!!!
Why waste time talking about how awesome I am and how bad all you lovely sexy people want me when we could be looking at nearly naked pictures of women!?
10. Ayla St. James
I’m just going to say what everyone else is already thinking, but she isn’t on the roster anymore? Well I never said the countdown was just current Diamonds, that’s be stupid if I said that because there are only like three Diamonds these days. And BESIDES look at those giant, beautiful tits. I’m not going to beat around the bush here, I’d get lost in between those lovely titties. I’m talking lost in the wilderness with nothing but a tit to lay my head on. What were talking about? Oh yeah, totally number ten on this countdown, the only thing holding her back is the silicone, if those things were legit? Damn, that’s all I’ve got to say.
9. Louise McDowell
I never understood a word out of her mouth but then again when you’re on the top ten most fuckable countdown I don’t need to understand what you’re saying. Louise right here was a wet dream come true for those of you into foreigners. Granted, she didn’t have huge’uns but she definitely had that girl next door I wanna ram my rod straight down your throat and maybe put it in your butt feel.
8. Alexis Caffrey
Normally I’d disqualify her for not having a breast left to nuzzle. I mean, she totally looks like a eight year old boy with long hair and somewhat wide hips. But then again I find something strangely attractive about that. I don’t know if I’m wrong in the head or what but I’d totally get in on some tag team action with Laszlo. I mean, I’ve seen a lot of porn that begins that way where the boy friend rents his woman out to some other guy to watch her get railed and I’d totally be down to be that guy if Laszlo wanted me to be…
7. Kayla Richards
This chick right here looks a lot like her older sister Amber but she’s been around the block fewer times and she’s like two years younger which immediately makes her hotter. I mean who doesn’t dream of railing a barely legal chick? Now let me get this straight, I’d totally have to wear a condom because she tag teamed the Brothers Black and Angel and Ana Valentine and Mason St. Croix and god knows who else but that’s still like a hundred dudes less than Amber so yeah, I’d totally put it in her butt.
6. Freya Kane
Gotta put Freya up here. For those of you who don’t know, I totally did her back in the day and we made a sex tape and everything. Her brother Brad totally denies it but that doesn’t really matter. I mean why is her brother so obsessed with her sex life? Kind of strange. While we’re here, is it just me or was Megan Kane like extremely un sexy in comparison to every other wrestler’s wife backstage? I mean, I’d blow a load on her face and all that but I wouldn’t enjoy it. Anyway, Freya is goddamn sexy and comes in at number 6.
5. Desiree St. James
Zombie hot. That’s all I’ve got to say. Zombie goddamn hot. I don’t care if she wants to cut me while hailing satan over the body of a burning baby, I’d let it all happen just to stick it in her. Desiree wasn’t the greatest wrestler and when she started talking she was pretty interesting but this isn’t a countdown about how smart women are. It’s a countdown designed to objectify women and probably get IWF sued and with that in mind, she’s the number 5 most fuckable diamond.
4. Alysson Gardner
I think I boned her too? Well anyway, bitch was totally fly. Had tits for days and an ass that just would not quit no matter how much you begged it too. Alysson was another person married to Spike Kane before he stopped being Mr. Nice guy and heel swerved us all YET AGAIN!!! But that isn’t important. What is important is that there isn’t a man alive who wouldn’t take a dip in her taco and that’s what this countdown is all about.
3. Tara Fenix
Why in the blue hell did Angel leave Tara Fenix for Amber Richards? I mean yeah, Amber was younger and willing to day way more kinky shit but you gotta think about those tits! And that face! And one day Amber is going to grow up and unless you wanna invest some money in plastic surgery her tits ain’t ever getting any bigger. But Tara had it all and then some! Tara, if your listening, I’ll totally be your sugar bear. I mean straight up, whatever you want, I’ve got it. Give me a call sweet cheeks.
2. Eternity
If Desiree was zombie hot then Eternity is like… Some other fucking weird analogy hot. Eternity was bat shit crazy and sexy as hell. I mean, say what you want but who wouldn’t want to take a shot at her? Sure, there was always the chance that she would cut you right in the middle of sex or just straight up eat your heart out of your chest but I feel like that is a risk worth taking. Eternity is gone now but man, where ever she is, if she’s lonely, just know that Rob Diamond will always have a warm something something to fill that void in you…
1. JESSICA REED
Was there ever any doubt? I mean Jessica is like the hottest diamond that’s ever lived, not to mention the best one we’ve ever had. She’s lost like one match ever and has the biggest boobs in the world. Did I mention she’s a nerd? Oh my god, I’m gonna jizz just talking about her. Jessica Reed is every man’s wet dream made flesh and blood and the best part is, as far as we know, she’s never boned any of the losers in the back!!! I mean that is like a huge bonus. Almost every diamond that’s cum and gone has boned some fucking loser backstage and then we have to spend the rest of our lives listening about that one time some douche bag boned some slut. But Jess!? She’s like the holy grail. Hot as fuck, nerdy and never been touched that we know about. Jessica is number one in this countdown and in my heart. Jess… I love you… I know this is sudden and we barely know each other, in fact I don’t think we’ve ever met face to face, but I’d love to be that special someone that you make a sex tape with. Consider it.
Anyway, that is all for me this week. Tune in next week when I do a Diamonds are Forever recap, why? Because I fucking can and you’re gonna fucking read it!
SUCK IT!
Welcome one and all to Rob Diamond’s totally legit Top Ten Most Fuckable Diamonds Countdown!!!!!
Why waste time talking about how awesome I am and how bad all you lovely sexy people want me when we could be looking at nearly naked pictures of women!?
10. Ayla St. James
I’m just going to say what everyone else is already thinking, but she isn’t on the roster anymore? Well I never said the countdown was just current Diamonds, that’s be stupid if I said that because there are only like three Diamonds these days. And BESIDES look at those giant, beautiful tits. I’m not going to beat around the bush here, I’d get lost in between those lovely titties. I’m talking lost in the wilderness with nothing but a tit to lay my head on. What were talking about? Oh yeah, totally number ten on this countdown, the only thing holding her back is the silicone, if those things were legit? Damn, that’s all I’ve got to say.
9. Louise McDowell
I never understood a word out of her mouth but then again when you’re on the top ten most fuckable countdown I don’t need to understand what you’re saying. Louise right here was a wet dream come true for those of you into foreigners. Granted, she didn’t have huge’uns but she definitely had that girl next door I wanna ram my rod straight down your throat and maybe put it in your butt feel.
8. Alexis Caffrey
Normally I’d disqualify her for not having a breast left to nuzzle. I mean, she totally looks like a eight year old boy with long hair and somewhat wide hips. But then again I find something strangely attractive about that. I don’t know if I’m wrong in the head or what but I’d totally get in on some tag team action with Laszlo. I mean, I’ve seen a lot of porn that begins that way where the boy friend rents his woman out to some other guy to watch her get railed and I’d totally be down to be that guy if Laszlo wanted me to be…
7. Kayla Richards
This chick right here looks a lot like her older sister Amber but she’s been around the block fewer times and she’s like two years younger which immediately makes her hotter. I mean who doesn’t dream of railing a barely legal chick? Now let me get this straight, I’d totally have to wear a condom because she tag teamed the Brothers Black and Angel and Ana Valentine and Mason St. Croix and god knows who else but that’s still like a hundred dudes less than Amber so yeah, I’d totally put it in her butt.
6. Freya Kane
Gotta put Freya up here. For those of you who don’t know, I totally did her back in the day and we made a sex tape and everything. Her brother Brad totally denies it but that doesn’t really matter. I mean why is her brother so obsessed with her sex life? Kind of strange. While we’re here, is it just me or was Megan Kane like extremely un sexy in comparison to every other wrestler’s wife backstage? I mean, I’d blow a load on her face and all that but I wouldn’t enjoy it. Anyway, Freya is goddamn sexy and comes in at number 6.
5. Desiree St. James
Zombie hot. That’s all I’ve got to say. Zombie goddamn hot. I don’t care if she wants to cut me while hailing satan over the body of a burning baby, I’d let it all happen just to stick it in her. Desiree wasn’t the greatest wrestler and when she started talking she was pretty interesting but this isn’t a countdown about how smart women are. It’s a countdown designed to objectify women and probably get IWF sued and with that in mind, she’s the number 5 most fuckable diamond.
4. Alysson Gardner
I think I boned her too? Well anyway, bitch was totally fly. Had tits for days and an ass that just would not quit no matter how much you begged it too. Alysson was another person married to Spike Kane before he stopped being Mr. Nice guy and heel swerved us all YET AGAIN!!! But that isn’t important. What is important is that there isn’t a man alive who wouldn’t take a dip in her taco and that’s what this countdown is all about.
3. Tara Fenix
Why in the blue hell did Angel leave Tara Fenix for Amber Richards? I mean yeah, Amber was younger and willing to day way more kinky shit but you gotta think about those tits! And that face! And one day Amber is going to grow up and unless you wanna invest some money in plastic surgery her tits ain’t ever getting any bigger. But Tara had it all and then some! Tara, if your listening, I’ll totally be your sugar bear. I mean straight up, whatever you want, I’ve got it. Give me a call sweet cheeks.
2. Eternity
If Desiree was zombie hot then Eternity is like… Some other fucking weird analogy hot. Eternity was bat shit crazy and sexy as hell. I mean, say what you want but who wouldn’t want to take a shot at her? Sure, there was always the chance that she would cut you right in the middle of sex or just straight up eat your heart out of your chest but I feel like that is a risk worth taking. Eternity is gone now but man, where ever she is, if she’s lonely, just know that Rob Diamond will always have a warm something something to fill that void in you…
1. JESSICA REED
Was there ever any doubt? I mean Jessica is like the hottest diamond that’s ever lived, not to mention the best one we’ve ever had. She’s lost like one match ever and has the biggest boobs in the world. Did I mention she’s a nerd? Oh my god, I’m gonna jizz just talking about her. Jessica Reed is every man’s wet dream made flesh and blood and the best part is, as far as we know, she’s never boned any of the losers in the back!!! I mean that is like a huge bonus. Almost every diamond that’s cum and gone has boned some fucking loser backstage and then we have to spend the rest of our lives listening about that one time some douche bag boned some slut. But Jess!? She’s like the holy grail. Hot as fuck, nerdy and never been touched that we know about. Jessica is number one in this countdown and in my heart. Jess… I love you… I know this is sudden and we barely know each other, in fact I don’t think we’ve ever met face to face, but I’d love to be that special someone that you make a sex tape with. Consider it.
Anyway, that is all for me this week. Tune in next week when I do a Diamonds are Forever recap, why? Because I fucking can and you’re gonna fucking read it!
SUCK IT!
Well howdy there pardner.