Post by Jessica Reed on Jun 22, 2013 16:15:57 GMT
The moon glows down on a quiet road besides a large wood, a stranger walks down the left hand side, his hands in his pockets with a bag over his shoulder, a few items poking out from a split in the seams.
Stranger: I can’t believe she threw me out!
The man kicks a can in frustration.
Stranger: I swear, I didn’t know it was her twin sister, who does she think I am, superman?
The man continues to grumble as he trudges around in the mud when suddenly he hears a great big roar.
Stranger: What the hell…
He walks a few more paces forward, trampling through some undergrowth until he sees a body laid on the floor and a large figure looming over it.
Stranger: Hel…hello? Are you guys OK?
The stranger suddenly stops dead in his tracks, his mouth opening wide as his eyes fill with fear before suddenly he lets out a blood curdling scream and the scene cuts to black.
Jessica and Hannah walk towards a black Impala, license plate J355 R33D, each dressed in a pair of smart suits. Jessica approaches the door excitedly as Hannah looks a little confused.
Jessica Reed: Come on, we can’t keep wasting time chattering like old women, people’s lives are at stake! Just jump inside Vlad and…
Hannah Reed: Wait... Vlad? You called the car Vlad?
Jessica Reed: Yeah. It’s a Chevrolet Impala.
Hannah Reed: So…?
Jessica Reed: So… Vlad… the Impala. Get it?
Hannah groans as Jessica stands with her hands spread wide, a huge grin on her face as she waits for the laughter, which never comes.
Hannah Reed: Just… get in the car.
Jessica Reed: Oh come on, that is a brilliant name.
Hannah shakes her head and climbs into the Impala as Jessica gives it a little kiss on the roof before joining her in the driver’s seat.
Hannah Reed: You have a completely unnatural attachment to this car.
Jessica Reed: He’s my baby.
Hannah Reed: You’ve had him for a week!
Jessica Reed: You need to lighten up, you’re such a Sam.
Hannah Reed: My name is Hannah. You’ve known me for over twenty five years. Why are we dressed like this and whose lives are at stake precisely?
Jessica reaches into the back of the car, retrieving a set of newspaper clippings which she passes to Hannah whose eyes widen.
Hannah Reed: Sasquatch?
Jessica Reed: Yes, there was a really brutal murder out in the woods and somebody saw a Big Foot leaving the scene. A little suspicious, no?
Hannah Reed: And why does this concern us? Wait..., you want to go and investigate some nutjob who had a psychotic episode after seeing a murder victim because you think…
Jessica Reed: That they were clearly killed by a Squatch, yes.
Hannah Reed: And this was what you meant by a Sister’s Road Trip?
Jessica Reed: You wouldn’t have come otherwise.
Hannah sighs.
Hannah Reed: Can we at least stop somewhere to eat along the way?
Jessica Reed: Only if they serve pie.
Suddenly Jess kicks the car into gear as she steps down on the gas, the wheels screaming as smoke billows from them before the pair rocket away from the lay by, the sound of “Carry on my Wayward Son blasting from the stereo system.
You know Tifa, I’ve been watching you…
Well, I mean, not in like an X-Box One Kinect Creeper sort of way, but more in a passing YouTube admirer kinda fashion. You’ve done so well, it makes me feel so much more confident to see a girl like me, fresh faced and new to the business, succeed like you have.
I mean, you’ve beaten Ashley Mastrangelo twice and left her in a quivering wreck like a Goomba whenever he sees a fat plumber and to top it all off you took down Ryleigh, Ayla and Alysson all in one go! I mean, everyone keeps telling me that’s a huge result so…
You go girl.
I guess I ought to be flattered that you took your hard earned choice of first opponent and selected me, or should I be offended that you see me as an easy target? I am not sure but all I do know if that we’re going to show everybody that Tifa Heafy and Jessica Reed are not just here to make up the numbers for the sake of it.
It’s about time women’s wrestling got a little more fun, there are some right miserable so and so’s in the locker room, you know Alysson and Ayla totally scowled at me when I said I was here to show “everybody what I’ve got underneath this costume”.
How can you misinterpret that as anything but my heart and desire?
Maybe I am just a misunderstood lone soul but…
Maybe one day you and I can form a partnership of sorts, you could the sexy Robin to my sexy Batgirl, the sexy Harley Quinn to my sexy Joker, the sexy…
Wait, why is every cosplay overly sexualised?
Eh, who cares, when you’ve got a cleavage like this you can’t hide it behind bat symbols.
But I am getting side tracked, again. This week you and I can’t be friends, we have to ignore our common bonds and do whatever it takes to pick up some points in the Heiress to the Throne tournament, because otherwise I’ve been reliably informed we will be consumed by Miss Aly G and her sexually repressed cohorts…
Those critics are just big meanies, you know I gave that dirtsheet writer an autograph and now he keeps telling everyone I am “using my mouth to progress”.
Just what the hell does that mean?
Pardon?
It means THAT!?
What a jerk! That is the last time I offer somebody the chance to check out some of my mic skills after the show. I thought I was just being friendly…
Oh shoot, I am being all scatter brained again, please forgive me.
This weekend marks my second appearance as a professional wrestler, I mean how cool is that? I earned my spot by slapping the skank out of Isabella two weeks ago and I don’t plan to waste this opportunity just because you’re totally my brunette doppelganger Miss Heafy.
Nobody wants to give me a hope in hell, so I need to show everybody that all those months of hard work being groped by an old guy in downtown Chicago weren’t for nothing.
I’ve come so far since Berto agreed to help me pursue my dreams, to break free of my father’s stranglehold and I can’t give up now in the face of a little adversity. I really don’t want to hurt you, Tifa, but if I have to do that to make my dreams come true then I promise I’ll be gentle…
What do you mean that isn’t very intimidating?
Ok, fine.
Jessica hunches up and flexes her muscles before speaking in a gruff voice.
I am going to go down to that ring and show you the pain and things like that. You’re not a real wrestler, you’re just a stupid Barbie doll type girl who is lame and stuff. I’ll stretch you like a rubber band until you snap or something… grrrr. Be afraid Tifa…
Suddenly Jessica stops as we hear laughter off camera, putting her hands on her hips.
That’s not funny guys, now everybody is going to think I am a complete idiot.
Listen, Tifs, I am just going to talk from the heart. I am going to give you my best and I hope that at the end of the night we can shake hands, go backstage, have a nice hot soapy shower and get a bite to eat…
Cue further off screen laughter.
Oh, come on why does everybody misinterpret what I say? I just wanted to go get a drink and show Tifa my costume collection…
What, that’s sexual too?
I hate this world.
We re-join the two sisters as they casually approach a sleazy looking motel apartment, still dressed in their smart suits.
Hannah Reed: This is crazy…
Jessica Reed: Is it? I think it’s kind of fun.
Hannah Reed: This isn’t a cosplay convention, Jess, this is a real murder!
Jessica Reed: And we’re going to solve it.
Jessica reaches into her pocket and retrieves two FBI ID’s, passing one to her sister.
Hannah Reed: Where the hell did you get these?
Jessica Reed: E-Bay.
Hannah Reed: …strangely that makes sense.
The two get closer to “Room 13” and as they do, Jessica knocks on the door.
Hannah Reed: You do realise this is illegal?
Jessica Reed: Is it? Oh well, you’re a lawyer, you’ll get us out of it.
Hannah Reed: I could just talk to him in a legal capacity without pretending to be an FBI Agent.
Jessica Reed: Where’s the fun in that?
Suddenly the door opens and the stranger from before nervously pokes his head through the crack, his eyes sunken, clearly lacking sleep.
Stranger: If you’re one of those newspaper folks, I don’t want to…
Jessica Reed: I am Agent Britney Spearing, and this is my partner Agent Christina Aguila… *Jessica whispers* Show him your badge.
Hannah shakes her head and lifts the badge up.
Jessica Reed: We have a few questions for you, Mr…
Stranger: Hayter… erm, Richard Hayter.
Jessica Reed: May we come in? We’d rather not discuss these… sensitive matters in public.
Richard Hayter: Sure…
Richard opens the door and walks into the motel room as Jessica smiles excitedly at her sister.
Jessica Reed: This is so fun!
Hannah Reed: I’m impressed, I never thought he’d actually let us in with ID badges with “Fake ID” watermarked across them.
Jessica Reed: Have you seen the guy, he’s hardly going to turn down the opportunity to have two beautiful women grill him.
Hannah Reed: Touché… I just hope you know what we’re getting into.
Jessica Reed: Do you want to be the good cop or the bad cop?
The pair walk inside as Hannah closes the door behind them and the scene cuts to black.
Hannah Reed: This is crazy…
Jessica Reed: Is it? I think it’s kind of fun.
Hannah Reed: This isn’t a cosplay convention, Jess, this is a real murder!
Jessica Reed: And we’re going to solve it.
Jessica reaches into her pocket and retrieves two FBI ID’s, passing one to her sister.
Hannah Reed: Where the hell did you get these?
Jessica Reed: E-Bay.
Hannah Reed: …strangely that makes sense.
The two get closer to “Room 13” and as they do, Jessica knocks on the door.
Hannah Reed: You do realise this is illegal?
Jessica Reed: Is it? Oh well, you’re a lawyer, you’ll get us out of it.
Hannah Reed: I could just talk to him in a legal capacity without pretending to be an FBI Agent.
Jessica Reed: Where’s the fun in that?
Suddenly the door opens and the stranger from before nervously pokes his head through the crack, his eyes sunken, clearly lacking sleep.
Stranger: If you’re one of those newspaper folks, I don’t want to…
Jessica Reed: I am Agent Britney Spearing, and this is my partner Agent Christina Aguila… *Jessica whispers* Show him your badge.
Hannah shakes her head and lifts the badge up.
Jessica Reed: We have a few questions for you, Mr…
Stranger: Hayter… erm, Richard Hayter.
Jessica Reed: May we come in? We’d rather not discuss these… sensitive matters in public.
Richard Hayter: Sure…
Richard opens the door and walks into the motel room as Jessica smiles excitedly at her sister.
Jessica Reed: This is so fun!
Hannah Reed: I’m impressed, I never thought he’d actually let us in with ID badges with “Fake ID” watermarked across them.
Jessica Reed: Have you seen the guy, he’s hardly going to turn down the opportunity to have two beautiful women grill him.
Hannah Reed: Touché… I just hope you know what we’re getting into.
Jessica Reed: Do you want to be the good cop or the bad cop?
The pair walk inside as Hannah closes the door behind them and the scene cuts to black.
Well howdy there pardner.