Sister Sister (With Less Nuns)

[Jessica Reed]

{ Is it a bird? No. Is it a plane? No. It is Jessica Reed and her sister, Hannah Reed, sitting in a cheap convertible in a dimly lit alleyway somewhere in Chicago, which is both less glamourous and potentially more dangerous than any situation Superman found himself in. The two girls sit with steaming cups of warm hot chocolate dressed in, what can be loosely described as either super hero outfits or a stolen haul from a bondage shop. Hannah, who is wearing a leather eye mask, jacket and pants looks up and down her body as Jess, dressed in her luchador ring gear, looks at her with confusion. } 

Hannah Reed: I can’t believe you and Roberto talked me into this. 

{ Jessica shakes her head. } 

Jessica Reed: Oh stop, you look amazing and you know it. 

{ Hannah raises a finger. } 

Hannah Reed: I never said I didn’t look amazing, and come to think of it Roberto was very enthusiastic about my character wearing leather… 

{ Jess screws up her face and sticks her tongue out in a mock gagging fashion. } 

Jessica Reed: Ok, ew, gross, too much information. You can keep your sordid sexy time games to yourself. 

Hannah Reed: Hey, you encouraged him! 

Jessica Reed: So my sister could join me on my awesome late night crime stake out. 

Hannah Reed: You told me we were going to a party! 

Jessica Reed: We are… I just thought we could fight a little crime too seen as we are dressed for it. 

{ Hannah stares sternly at Jess. } 

Hannah Reed: We’re not fighting crime. That would be stupid and potentially illegal. 

Jessica Reed: Hey, no fair, you always let Roberto chase down bad guys. 

Hannah Reed: He was a licensed bounty hunter, not two blonde girls in skin tight costumes! 

Jessica Reed: I’m not just any old blonde girl, thank you! 

Hannah Reed: Oh, really, so who are you exactly? Besides a giant walking neon light screaming “please rob me”? 

{ Jess clears her throat and proudly rests her fists on her hips, lifting her head up high. }  

Jessica Reed: They call me Shadow Dash. 

{ Hannah stares at Jess before bursting into laughter, somewhat ruining her grandeur. } 

Hannah Reed: Really, who are they? 

Jessica Reed: My friends. 

Hannah Reed: You have friends? 

{ Jessica stares are Hannah. } 

Jessica Reed: Yes! Just because I don’t show them off on camera all the time doesn’t mean I don’t have a private life, I just keep it… private.  

{ Hannah shrugs. } 

Hannah Reed: That name still makes no sense. 

Jessica Reed: Why not? 

Hannah Reed: Jess, shadows are not inherently fast. 

Jessica Reed: Usain Bolt’s is. 

Hannah Reed: I… that doesn’t disprove my point. Shadows are only fast if the person casting them is, they aren’t by definition fast at all they- 

Jessica Reed: Ok smarty pants. Well, what about you? You need a super hero name too. 

{ Hannah stares open eyed at Jessica, shaking her head. } 

Hannah Reed: No, I really don’t. 

Jessica Reed: What about the Legal Eagle? 

Hannah Reed: No. 

Jessica Reed: The Ambidextrous Attorney? 

Hannah Reed: …No. 

Jessica Reed: The Black Lawyer? 

Hannah Reed: No… and that has connotations I don’t think you understand. 

Jessica Reed: Well, you have to pick something. 

Hannah Reed: Why? 

Jessica Reed: Because superheroes are meant to keep their identity secret. 

Hannah Reed: Tony Stark doesn’t. 

Jessica Reed: Yes but he… 

Hannah Reed: Technically, neither does Thor. 

Jessica Reed: Yes, but he is an Asgardian and a God… wait, I thought you didn’t even read comics? Dad always hated buying them for me… 

{ Hannah looks away awkwardly. } 

Hannah Reed: He used to buy them every time he went on a business trip for me, I have a cupboard full of them… I thought you knew that? 

{ Jess frowns. } 

Jessica Reed: Great, you even get to the golden geek of the family too. Way to kill my buzz. I don’t even have that going for me anymore. 

Hannah Reed: Come on Jess, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I can’t control how he behaves… 

{ Jessica frowns, place her chin on her balled up fist and sighing. } 

Jessica Reed: I know… 

Hannah Reed: He cares about you really, you know that right? Even if he has a really twisted way of showing it. 

Jessica Reed: Oh, really, the man who not once inquired to see how I was after I fractured my skull and nearly lost my job as a result? That guy? Even mom came to see me, he wouldn’t even sign the card she got me. 

Hannah Reed: I could speak to him, if you’d like? 

{ Jess closes her eyes and shakes her head. } 

Jessica Reed: No… let’s… let’s just go home. 

Hannah Reed: But what about the party? 

{ Jessica pauses for a while before replying. } 

Jessica Reed: I don’t really feel like partying right now… 

{ Hannah nods, turning the ignition on as the car lights pierce through the darkness of the alleyway. She pauses for a moment, her foot hovering over the accelerator as she looks at her sister, her demeanour completely deflated deciding whether to respond. Hannah smiles at Jess warmly, but her sister doesn’t respond, at which point Hannah sighs quietly before gently pressing her foot down as our scene begins to fade to black. } 

Well, well, well.

If it isn’t the biggest, baddest, meanest girl in the Diamond’s division. The latest in a long line of people who seem to enjoy beating me up to prove a point, normally that they’re the best at something or other, or they just really hate fun.

So what exactly is your problem, Ana Valentine?

Hey, wait, is it Ana Jones now?

Eeeee, I think congratulations in order. I wonder if my invitation got lost in the post…

Jess, you’re not supposed to get excited about somebody who dropped you on your head getting married.

{ Suddenly the camera turns to reveal Roberto Verona stood in a luxury set of pyjama’s with an equally expensive dressing gown wrapped out him, a cup of coffee in hand. }

Be quiet, nobody asked you to tag along.

You’re cutting a promo in my living room!

Just sit down and drink your coffee quietly over there, doll face. There’s nothing wrong with wishing people well… even if they’re not very nice.

Please don’t try to patronise me, you’re not very good at it, leave that to the other Diamond’s.

{ Jess glares at Verona}

Ok, ok…

Thank you, now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?

Oh yes, you’re rather unexpected betrothal… thingy. Somebody should give the creative team in IWF a bonus this month because I sure didn’t see that one coming… well, not so quickly anyway. But I guess love stands still for no man… or woman… because you’re a woman.

What point am I trying to make?

{ Jess shakes her head. }

Anyway, enough of the congratulations, I’m getting distracted again.

This week isn’t about gorging on delicious wedding buffet foods or fighting like wild animals to catch the bouquet, which is probably best for everybody because I can throw down. No, this week is about me getting a chance to finally get my hands on you for…

a) Spending my entire recovery period being mean on Twitter and trying to sully my good name, which is pretty low, even for you.

b) Driving my face in to a steel cage, which for everybody’s information leave’s your face looking like it caught in a pancake press.

c) Deciding to DDT me after Eternity and the Crazy Gang tried to make me look like a character from Avatar with their baseball bats.

And that’s the revised list, we’ll ignore all of the vicious rumours you like to spread about my sexual promiscuity and your slander of my radical hide and seek skills. If I didn’t know any better I’d get the impression you have a really serious problem with me Ana, something you’ve chosen to express in a way that really isn’t befitting of an IWF Diamond’s Champion.

That Alex Jones sure is a bad influence on you.

Or was it Spike Kane. Or Angel. Come to think of it you really seem to have lacked a good role model through your career in IWF, no wonder you’re so crabby all the time and a real pain to work with when you’ve spent you’re entire time here socialising with the Legion of Doom. Come to think of it, maybe even Lex Luthor and Soloman Grundy would be better influences than these three.

Either way, I’ve yet to see much come from your mouth to suggest that you’re the right person to be acting as the spokeswoman for our entire division.

Which is a real, real shame considering your completely undeniable talent inside that ring. If we were merely judging you on your ability alone, there’d be no doubts whatsoever that you are easily one of the most deserving Diamond champion’s in the entire history of IWF, one who entirely deserves to be remembered for their performances.

Unfortunately, your personality and how you treat other people matter too.

And based on how you’ve chosen to behave recently, I can safely say that you’ve got a long way to go before you really deserve to be respected for everything you’ve accomplished in this company. Even if you do manage to beat me this Sunday and prove this notion that you’re the best wrestler in the company, which has always come across as a little insecure to me.

A woman who holds that belt shouldn’t feel the need to topple me to prove anything. Respecting that belt and the competition it represents should be more than enough.

So, here’s your opportunity Ana, the chance you’ve been stamping your feet and crying out for the past year. You get to show the world what you can do against me and prove whatever it is you need to try and prove to back up your statements about being the best. Finally, you have me exactly where you want me, question is, are you going to make the most of it?

Yeah, yeah, you could beat me, sure, I’ve never spent my time in front of this camera pretending to be invincible, quite the contrary.

But will you take this opportunity to realise there is so much more to being the Diamond’s champion than pushing people around and jumping on them when their backs are turned? I’d like to think that somewhere, deep down inside, you’ve got that, like Amber did, but based on how you’ve behaved for so long I’m starting to wonder.

Has what makes you human shrivelled up and died?

You’ve spent so long around bad people, scheming and trying to impress them, betraying everybody in your life and treating all your colleagues with such contempt that I worry that any shred of decency that was once a part of you is long gone and what we’re left with is…, well…

A hollow shell.

Which, even as one of the victims of your campaign of hate, I find really sad. At the end of the day, even though I lost my title and nearly my career, I never lost sight of who I really was, even in my darkest moments and, more importantly then that I was surrounded by people who really cared about me… well, my new family anyway.

{ Jessica pauses for a moment before shaking herself out of it. }

Yes, even Roberto.

Hey, you’re ruining my gimmick!

I know, I know, you’ll tell us all that you’ve loved Alex all along and that he really cares about you and it’s all been a grand ruse to get your both in a position to be on top and that every time you’ve lost a confidant it’s been your choice but…

Can you really be sure that when you finally fall, and as much as you don’t want to think about that, that there will anybody there to catch you?

Will Alex Jones be there for you now you’ve burnt all your bridges behind you?

Will he be there to kiss the bruises after I’ve got my chance to fight back?

Will he still love you when everything that you’ve built come crumbling down?