Post by bushido on Jun 23, 2013 0:43:34 GMT
Faster than a Mike Machado! More powerful than a Jake Keeton! Able to leap tall ladders in a single bound! Look, up at the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's The Super One, BUSHIDO! Not only does he shine majestically in the sunlight as he flexes his heroic pectorals but now that shine comes off doubly so thanks to the 15 pounds of gold draped regally across his shoulder. IWF has crowned its' first Cruiserweight Champion and what a champeen The One with a massive peen truly is. The trailer park trash that counts for the masses around here now have a definitive idol to idolize. Bushido has gone from a follower of a Mexican drunkard to the leader of an entire division. The future for his fellow Cruiserweights now rests clenched tightly between his buttche... erm, I meant iron grip. Fret not, lovable losers! With Bushido at the helm there will always be a place for all of you as secondary characters or perhaps even as a sidekick. Wouldn't that be swell?
Monday Morning...
Shit was being thrown against the walls. Before your mind goes to that big poopy in the ceramic bowl, your narrator meant stuff. Bushido stood still as Miranda threw a vase that just barely missed his head, crashing on the wall behind him. He didn't flinch, nor move. He simply stood there.
Miranda: Du verdammtes Arschloch!
Trust me, kids. It's better the little ones don't know what that means.
Miranda: After everything I did for you! I betrayed Dragon for you! FOR YOU!
Flopping on the edge of the bed, Miranda appeared defeated before the fight even began.
Miranda: You don't even know this girl.
Bushido: She no matter.
Miranda: She matters enough. You're going to marry her.
Bushido: It is necessary. Way of life for family.
Miranda: Screw that! Don't you remember that just last week the only family you had was me?
Bushido closed the small gap between them, standing over her and brushing some strands of hair that stuck to the tears on her face.
Bushido: That is still case. I can not do this without you. I am champion because of you.
P. I. M. P. It ain't easy.
Miranda: ... When the hell do we meet this new girl?
Bushido: Next week.
Miranda: Everything is moving so fast... I don't know if I can deal.
She turned away from him but Bushido wasn't having it. He knelt down before her, forcing the eye contact.
Bushido: You must.
Miranda: I need some time.
Standing to her feet she looked more angry than sad though tears streamlined down her face. She gave him a disappointed look that all men know all too well before leaving the room. Things weren't going well for the champeen with the massive peen.
Today...
The Last Samurai has agreed to an arranged wedding as well as arranging beatdowns on future competitors. He's living the dream... You know, if your dream is to marry some unknown woman while simultaneously representing a division as its' champion with a manager that doubles as your lover who now probably hates you.
Bushido: *speaks Japanese*
Subtitles: I feel the need to ask you a question, Rob. Do you believe half the bullshit that comes out of your mouth? I feel nothing but sympathy if this is the case. If you think your little match stole the show then you are truly delusional and need to seek professional help. The Cruiserweights brought the house down. Yours was nothing but a cooler, there to fill in a quota. I faced stiff competition and had to scratch and claw for my title that is now mine. You simply sat back and allowed your partner to do all the heavy lifting. Like a true hyena you lied in wait to reap the rewards of a lion's kill. Yet you still feel the need to act as if you are some grand champion and the be all end all of professional wrestling. InFamous has become as outdated as some of those catchphrases you still spit out in a weak attempt to appear "hip".
You were right about one thing though. The past is the past... And that's where your career remains. My time is now. You make light of my title and my division, both of which I hold in high regards. You act as if you and your "do not make direct eye contact so it is not gay" partner can simply run over those in my weight class. I believe it is up to me to prove to you how wrong you truly are. You are a great competitor. If we were to compare accomplishments in our illustrious careers I think I would be forced to concede to your statistics. However, this match is not to compare trophies. Neither is it written on paper. This match is not to showcase one half of the tag team champions. This match is all about the Cruiserweight Champion and how utterly dominant he can be towards any man in any weight class.
I congratulate you, Rob. You managed to beat the best IWF has to offer in tag team wrestling. But the Tag Team Division's best does not have anything on the best Cruiserweights in the universe. You do deserve a round of applause. You managed to make huge statements around here. You punked out tag teams, you punked out Mike Laszlo's, you punked out your ex-wife but you wont punk out me. I wont be The One sucking anything, friend. By the time Sacrifice ends you will find a new chew toy in the form of your thumb when I kick you so hard I send your silly ass back to your traumatic childhood. Then we shall see who truly "Sucks it". I am the undefeated Cruiserweight Champion and I plan to stay that way for a long time. You were kind of a big deal elsewhere, Rob. Here in IWF though, you are nothing but a nostalgic factor. You're like Trent Helms without the ability to know when to call it quits.
This week, you wont have a choice in that matter.
Diamonds have been known to revert back to coal in Bushido's grasp. Unfortunately there is another man in this match that could pose an incredi... PWAHAHAHAHAA... Sorry, couldn't keep a straight face.
Bushido: *speaks Japanese*
Subtitles: I do not know how you manage to weasel your way into these big match situations, Freakke. That's what this is, clown. Make no mistake about it. A match that involves Bushido and Rob Diamond is main event material people salivate over. Only this is not a one on one, is it? This is a one on one plus a clown that might or might not take this seriously depending on which side of his face got smashed with a pie. You continue to surprise the world with your unpredictable nature and perhaps that is what makes you a threat. You never know what routine the old jokester has in store. Still, I've seen your act time and time before and I have to say, the comedy has grown stale.
You still appeal to the general population but if that's all we as performers wanted than we'd do this for free in the middle of the street, which I have no doubt you do on your free time. There is something about your delightful Krusty the Clown act that even gets me enthralled in your promos, but other than your psychadelic theatrics we are left wanting on your in ring performances. It is like I have stated, you enjoy bringing smiles to faces worldwide only most of those smiles comes at the expense of your career. I hear tells of your once great run in NCW and I wonder if those are true or simply rumors spread by your own mouth. I hope you come and amaze the world by holding two of the best down for three seconds and go on to give me a real challenge for MY belt that is now mine and stop simply doing this for the gags.
Then again, you could always make me smile by letting me pin you.
I don't know how this match will end. I can not predict the future. What I can predict is that I wont disappoint anyone and when all is said and done, I will still be the hero the world can be proud of.
Either way, it doesn't matter. Bushido is on a hot roll like his middle name was Hot Pocket and nothing is standing in his way. How long can our hero hold back the evil tyranny of evil tyrants? Tune in to find out on Sacrifice.
Monday Morning...
Shit was being thrown against the walls. Before your mind goes to that big poopy in the ceramic bowl, your narrator meant stuff. Bushido stood still as Miranda threw a vase that just barely missed his head, crashing on the wall behind him. He didn't flinch, nor move. He simply stood there.
Miranda: Du verdammtes Arschloch!
Trust me, kids. It's better the little ones don't know what that means.
Miranda: After everything I did for you! I betrayed Dragon for you! FOR YOU!
Flopping on the edge of the bed, Miranda appeared defeated before the fight even began.
Miranda: You don't even know this girl.
Bushido: She no matter.
Miranda: She matters enough. You're going to marry her.
Bushido: It is necessary. Way of life for family.
Miranda: Screw that! Don't you remember that just last week the only family you had was me?
Bushido closed the small gap between them, standing over her and brushing some strands of hair that stuck to the tears on her face.
Bushido: That is still case. I can not do this without you. I am champion because of you.
P. I. M. P. It ain't easy.
Miranda: ... When the hell do we meet this new girl?
Bushido: Next week.
Miranda: Everything is moving so fast... I don't know if I can deal.
She turned away from him but Bushido wasn't having it. He knelt down before her, forcing the eye contact.
Bushido: You must.
Miranda: I need some time.
Standing to her feet she looked more angry than sad though tears streamlined down her face. She gave him a disappointed look that all men know all too well before leaving the room. Things weren't going well for the champeen with the massive peen.
Today...
The Last Samurai has agreed to an arranged wedding as well as arranging beatdowns on future competitors. He's living the dream... You know, if your dream is to marry some unknown woman while simultaneously representing a division as its' champion with a manager that doubles as your lover who now probably hates you.
Bushido: *speaks Japanese*
Subtitles: I feel the need to ask you a question, Rob. Do you believe half the bullshit that comes out of your mouth? I feel nothing but sympathy if this is the case. If you think your little match stole the show then you are truly delusional and need to seek professional help. The Cruiserweights brought the house down. Yours was nothing but a cooler, there to fill in a quota. I faced stiff competition and had to scratch and claw for my title that is now mine. You simply sat back and allowed your partner to do all the heavy lifting. Like a true hyena you lied in wait to reap the rewards of a lion's kill. Yet you still feel the need to act as if you are some grand champion and the be all end all of professional wrestling. InFamous has become as outdated as some of those catchphrases you still spit out in a weak attempt to appear "hip".
You were right about one thing though. The past is the past... And that's where your career remains. My time is now. You make light of my title and my division, both of which I hold in high regards. You act as if you and your "do not make direct eye contact so it is not gay" partner can simply run over those in my weight class. I believe it is up to me to prove to you how wrong you truly are. You are a great competitor. If we were to compare accomplishments in our illustrious careers I think I would be forced to concede to your statistics. However, this match is not to compare trophies. Neither is it written on paper. This match is not to showcase one half of the tag team champions. This match is all about the Cruiserweight Champion and how utterly dominant he can be towards any man in any weight class.
I congratulate you, Rob. You managed to beat the best IWF has to offer in tag team wrestling. But the Tag Team Division's best does not have anything on the best Cruiserweights in the universe. You do deserve a round of applause. You managed to make huge statements around here. You punked out tag teams, you punked out Mike Laszlo's, you punked out your ex-wife but you wont punk out me. I wont be The One sucking anything, friend. By the time Sacrifice ends you will find a new chew toy in the form of your thumb when I kick you so hard I send your silly ass back to your traumatic childhood. Then we shall see who truly "Sucks it". I am the undefeated Cruiserweight Champion and I plan to stay that way for a long time. You were kind of a big deal elsewhere, Rob. Here in IWF though, you are nothing but a nostalgic factor. You're like Trent Helms without the ability to know when to call it quits.
This week, you wont have a choice in that matter.
Diamonds have been known to revert back to coal in Bushido's grasp. Unfortunately there is another man in this match that could pose an incredi... PWAHAHAHAHAA... Sorry, couldn't keep a straight face.
Bushido: *speaks Japanese*
Subtitles: I do not know how you manage to weasel your way into these big match situations, Freakke. That's what this is, clown. Make no mistake about it. A match that involves Bushido and Rob Diamond is main event material people salivate over. Only this is not a one on one, is it? This is a one on one plus a clown that might or might not take this seriously depending on which side of his face got smashed with a pie. You continue to surprise the world with your unpredictable nature and perhaps that is what makes you a threat. You never know what routine the old jokester has in store. Still, I've seen your act time and time before and I have to say, the comedy has grown stale.
You still appeal to the general population but if that's all we as performers wanted than we'd do this for free in the middle of the street, which I have no doubt you do on your free time. There is something about your delightful Krusty the Clown act that even gets me enthralled in your promos, but other than your psychadelic theatrics we are left wanting on your in ring performances. It is like I have stated, you enjoy bringing smiles to faces worldwide only most of those smiles comes at the expense of your career. I hear tells of your once great run in NCW and I wonder if those are true or simply rumors spread by your own mouth. I hope you come and amaze the world by holding two of the best down for three seconds and go on to give me a real challenge for MY belt that is now mine and stop simply doing this for the gags.
Then again, you could always make me smile by letting me pin you.
I don't know how this match will end. I can not predict the future. What I can predict is that I wont disappoint anyone and when all is said and done, I will still be the hero the world can be proud of.
Either way, it doesn't matter. Bushido is on a hot roll like his middle name was Hot Pocket and nothing is standing in his way. How long can our hero hold back the evil tyranny of evil tyrants? Tune in to find out on Sacrifice.
Well howdy there pardner.