Post by Freakke on Jun 23, 2013 15:16:25 GMT
--- Monday, Freakke's Home ---
Charlie Smiles sat bandaged on his couch watching a ceiling fan. He stared upwards, face paint still smeared in some places. The wrestler known as Freakke the Clown rolled over finally and sat up on the couch. The bandages and bindings seemed a bit restrictive as he moved. He seemed tired and solemn. Rubbing his neck, he stood up and disappeared into the bathroom.
--- Junkyard ---
Freakke is standing on top of a pile of cars left out in the middle of a pick of scrap metal and old appliances. The crumpled car he found himself standing on was a dark rose colored Buick. The whole affair seemed rather grim and uninviting. Even a stereotypical barrel fire roared off to the side. He stood looking into the camera. His arms were crossed as he waited a moment. He seemed deep in contemplation in regards to something. For the first time in IWF, Freakke seemed ready to get serious.
Then...
”LLLLLAAAADDDDDIIIIEESSSS AANNND GENTLEMEN, Boys and Girls, miscreants and oddballs...”
...he spoke.
”What a way to end the first month for IWF. All night long I was all like...”
Freakke made a comical face with his arms raised miming the word 'Yeeaaaahhhhh!'
”Then I was all like...”
He leaned back making a face like he just saw something that hurt.
”But then I was like...”
He tilted his head sideways looking puzzled.
”And then I kinda looked like this...”
He pulled out a picture of him mummified in gauze being wheeled out of an arena with his thumb up at the camera.
”No, seriously. Show was epic. Watching all those matches and being in one myself is really something a guy needs to treasure. Could be worse. I could be the guy scraping the gum off the stadium seats after an event like this.”
--- Quick Cut to the Stadium Seats ---
Freakke in a janitor's uniform and a fake beard scraping gum off a seat for a few seconds before shaking his fist at the sky.
”CURSE YOU BAZOOOKAAAA!!!”
“Get back to work!”
”Yes sir.”
He resumed his scraping before...
--- Quick Cut back to Freakke ---
The Carnival King is now sitting in a prop jeep that's bouncing around as a black and white driving scene used for movies from the fifties plays behind him. This doesn't even come close to providing the illusion he is actually driving.
”Anywho, that awesome stuff is now behind us, likely having been DVR'd or recorded illegally for future watchings or legitimately purchased on a kick ass DVD online from IWF's awesome online store along with some of your favorite wrestler's shirts, action figures, and lunch boxes as well as classic kick ass nCw merch. Not to mention...”
The camera pans to the right were all of the Freakke Merchandise is shamelessly arranged on a table beyond the driving scene's view. There's a lot of it. The camera pans back to Freakke whose got a really cheesy grin. There was only a short pause.
”Insert corny and over the top, blatant self advertising here.”
His smiled widened and he threw his feet onto the steering wheel, not even caring to pretend to be driving as he continued.
”Which leaves us with whats ahead. Honestly, I've always been a clown who believes that looking forward is the only way to go. Yet there's still this one little nagging feature that's just clinging on. The same old schtick.”
He thinks a moment and then hops out of the car. He signals for the camera to come with him as we cut to...
--- Cut to Freakke's Van ---
Freakke hops out of the back of his van and looks around.
”Wait...this isn't the right set up...huh...”
He hopped back in and closed the door. They opened again and he looked down.
”...Thats where I put that doughnut.”
He reached down and grabbed the pastry before closing the doors again.
--- Cut to Demolition Derby ---
Freakke climbs out of a hatch in the middle of a live demolition derby in a center stage area. He seems a little confused but gets out anyways. The cars are all revved up and as Freakke tries to talk the microphone isn't picking him up. Looking around, he grabs a sign and a sharpie and writes something down. He then showed off his short work. 'Voice Over Time'. He then began to speak but the dubbing is horrible. Japanese Monster Destroys Tokyo movie horrible dubbing happens. As Freakke goes off on a tangent the voice over begins.
”Well folks....I'm not gonna lie. I forgot most of what I said. Anyways, I'll do my best at lip reading and paraphrasing. Anywho, I remember starting off here with really ticked off about some things that have been bugging me for a real long time. I've brought it up before and it's really a pain to go over it again, but here we go. First off, I get that I'm a joke. Haha, thats the point, get over yourselves. Does every other promo I watch from some of you guys really have to be, 'Oh man I'm not afraid of a clown. Wipe the paint off and I'll consider you a challenge'.”
The last line seems to fit perfectly as Freakke says just about the same thing and acts it out. It continues shortly, but drops off after the impression ends.
”'Oh look, a guy that throws woopie cushions and sits on pies, if only he'd work on his wrestling skills'. This of course coming from guys who make a living stepping into a square circled off with ropes in spandex speedo's and boots that come up so high the calf it looks like they were bought off a hooker. While wrestling boots are comfy they do look weird...especially if you only in the equivalent of underwear in front of millions. BUY A PAIR OF PANTS PEOPLE!”
The visual Freakke is ranting but the voice over Freakke seems to have taken a drink.
”While that's bad, lets look at the other end of the spectrum. From 'Oh hey look he's a clown, who cares' to 'Oh jeez I don't/won't underestimate you just because you wear more make up than Tim Curry in the Rocky Horror Picture Show'. While flattering, we hear it so often. Sure, you really shouldn't ignore me. Not gonna lie, I tend to fly from out of nowhere sometimes. Kinda my thing. It's just that everyone, their mother, their cousin, their lawyers, that kid from the Sixth Sense, the NSA, and 90% of the Czech Republic sees it coming when I'm on the card.”
Real Freakke stops a moment having seen something particularly nasty in the demolition derby.
”We've got more or less an example of both here this week. Bushido, who lets be honest, is right in that I haven't done so well so far at IWF, having lost all four of my matches. It happens. At least the champ gives props where there due. Captivating is a word I haven't heard used in a long time. I like that. Still, we've got that, 'You're a joke' mentality. For being the clown, please, wait till ya hear the Punchline. For not having a great record in IWF? Jeez dude its been a month and we've got a top notch roster. Sure I'm gonna lose a few. It just comes off as pompous and arrogant and just really looking like some kind of great big doody head so Naaaahhhh”
Freakke looks at the camera for a moment like he heard the noise but then resumes his rants.
”Rob Diamond. Again, ya don't need to repeat the fact your not going to underestimate or forget about me. Trust me, that's more than abundantly clear when the bell rings more often than not. It's redundant and tired and getting more than a little boring actually. Its the same old song. I know you know I know your watching me just like I know you know I know you know I'm not being written off. I think. Long story short, ya don't need to tell me I can in fact kick your ass, I know that. All you have to do is worry about me actually doing it. 'Kay cupcake? Just bring your A-game and we'll see where the chips fall at the end of the match.”
The Carnival King no longer seems to be talking about the match as he walks and romps around the stage like King Kong.
”What is thi-....I don't even....screw it. Comments on what I do outside of the ring and why my opponents should or should not be paying attention to me inside, aside, what we have here, is a three way accident waiting to happen. Really. A wonderful mashup of talent and 'Oh God its just so awesome'. The Cruiserweight Champion, one half of the Tag Team Championship, and one crazy clown guy who probably should be dead as many times as he's crashed into the ground and various junk that he has. This is the scene from the second Matrix flick where the two Mac trucks smash into each other, except there are three trucks and they're all Optimus Prime! Beyond just how awesome that is, the match is just a match. No titles are on the line. Its just gonna be awesome. No real crushing rivalries to tend to. I got nothing to lose...except maybe the match but that's not the point. I intend on stepping in the ring and putting myself in harms way. I might have to be carried out of the ring, but I wont be the only one. This week its just three guys in the corners waiting to rush head long into the fray. No real value, yet the most enriching of all. These really are the matches worth watching. These are the matches that show whose bringing it all.”
Freakke stops a moment and then smirks. An almost perfect dub then starts.
”The one thing we all forget from time to time is that when the bell rings, our titles, our past, our gimmick's, they mean exactly, jack, diddly, and squat. We can't hide behind them when it hits the fan. There's no protection that comes from being champion. There's no guarantee of victory after having won the week before or X number of matches before that. There's no excuse for being the clown. When this match is over and the ref is holding up the winner's hand, what happens when the bodies are lieing twisted on the ground and one guy manages to pull it together for just three seconds? What happens when its over and all the words we've said are meaningless? What happens when the joke beats the Champions? Monday Night, we'll see who laughs last.”
The Carnival King smirked as he reached down to pick up another sign. He flipped it in his hands as the sounds kicked back in. Only one engine is roaring as a banged up Buick drifts a victory lap behind the stage.
'Haha'
Charlie Smiles sat bandaged on his couch watching a ceiling fan. He stared upwards, face paint still smeared in some places. The wrestler known as Freakke the Clown rolled over finally and sat up on the couch. The bandages and bindings seemed a bit restrictive as he moved. He seemed tired and solemn. Rubbing his neck, he stood up and disappeared into the bathroom.
--- Junkyard ---
Freakke is standing on top of a pile of cars left out in the middle of a pick of scrap metal and old appliances. The crumpled car he found himself standing on was a dark rose colored Buick. The whole affair seemed rather grim and uninviting. Even a stereotypical barrel fire roared off to the side. He stood looking into the camera. His arms were crossed as he waited a moment. He seemed deep in contemplation in regards to something. For the first time in IWF, Freakke seemed ready to get serious.
Then...
”LLLLLAAAADDDDDIIIIEESSSS AANNND GENTLEMEN, Boys and Girls, miscreants and oddballs...”
...he spoke.
”What a way to end the first month for IWF. All night long I was all like...”
Freakke made a comical face with his arms raised miming the word 'Yeeaaaahhhhh!'
”Then I was all like...”
He leaned back making a face like he just saw something that hurt.
”But then I was like...”
He tilted his head sideways looking puzzled.
”And then I kinda looked like this...”
He pulled out a picture of him mummified in gauze being wheeled out of an arena with his thumb up at the camera.
”No, seriously. Show was epic. Watching all those matches and being in one myself is really something a guy needs to treasure. Could be worse. I could be the guy scraping the gum off the stadium seats after an event like this.”
--- Quick Cut to the Stadium Seats ---
Freakke in a janitor's uniform and a fake beard scraping gum off a seat for a few seconds before shaking his fist at the sky.
”CURSE YOU BAZOOOKAAAA!!!”
“Get back to work!”
”Yes sir.”
He resumed his scraping before...
--- Quick Cut back to Freakke ---
The Carnival King is now sitting in a prop jeep that's bouncing around as a black and white driving scene used for movies from the fifties plays behind him. This doesn't even come close to providing the illusion he is actually driving.
”Anywho, that awesome stuff is now behind us, likely having been DVR'd or recorded illegally for future watchings or legitimately purchased on a kick ass DVD online from IWF's awesome online store along with some of your favorite wrestler's shirts, action figures, and lunch boxes as well as classic kick ass nCw merch. Not to mention...”
The camera pans to the right were all of the Freakke Merchandise is shamelessly arranged on a table beyond the driving scene's view. There's a lot of it. The camera pans back to Freakke whose got a really cheesy grin. There was only a short pause.
”Insert corny and over the top, blatant self advertising here.”
His smiled widened and he threw his feet onto the steering wheel, not even caring to pretend to be driving as he continued.
”Which leaves us with whats ahead. Honestly, I've always been a clown who believes that looking forward is the only way to go. Yet there's still this one little nagging feature that's just clinging on. The same old schtick.”
He thinks a moment and then hops out of the car. He signals for the camera to come with him as we cut to...
--- Cut to Freakke's Van ---
Freakke hops out of the back of his van and looks around.
”Wait...this isn't the right set up...huh...”
He hopped back in and closed the door. They opened again and he looked down.
”...Thats where I put that doughnut.”
He reached down and grabbed the pastry before closing the doors again.
--- Cut to Demolition Derby ---
Freakke climbs out of a hatch in the middle of a live demolition derby in a center stage area. He seems a little confused but gets out anyways. The cars are all revved up and as Freakke tries to talk the microphone isn't picking him up. Looking around, he grabs a sign and a sharpie and writes something down. He then showed off his short work. 'Voice Over Time'. He then began to speak but the dubbing is horrible. Japanese Monster Destroys Tokyo movie horrible dubbing happens. As Freakke goes off on a tangent the voice over begins.
”Well folks....I'm not gonna lie. I forgot most of what I said. Anyways, I'll do my best at lip reading and paraphrasing. Anywho, I remember starting off here with really ticked off about some things that have been bugging me for a real long time. I've brought it up before and it's really a pain to go over it again, but here we go. First off, I get that I'm a joke. Haha, thats the point, get over yourselves. Does every other promo I watch from some of you guys really have to be, 'Oh man I'm not afraid of a clown. Wipe the paint off and I'll consider you a challenge'.”
The last line seems to fit perfectly as Freakke says just about the same thing and acts it out. It continues shortly, but drops off after the impression ends.
”'Oh look, a guy that throws woopie cushions and sits on pies, if only he'd work on his wrestling skills'. This of course coming from guys who make a living stepping into a square circled off with ropes in spandex speedo's and boots that come up so high the calf it looks like they were bought off a hooker. While wrestling boots are comfy they do look weird...especially if you only in the equivalent of underwear in front of millions. BUY A PAIR OF PANTS PEOPLE!”
The visual Freakke is ranting but the voice over Freakke seems to have taken a drink.
”While that's bad, lets look at the other end of the spectrum. From 'Oh hey look he's a clown, who cares' to 'Oh jeez I don't/won't underestimate you just because you wear more make up than Tim Curry in the Rocky Horror Picture Show'. While flattering, we hear it so often. Sure, you really shouldn't ignore me. Not gonna lie, I tend to fly from out of nowhere sometimes. Kinda my thing. It's just that everyone, their mother, their cousin, their lawyers, that kid from the Sixth Sense, the NSA, and 90% of the Czech Republic sees it coming when I'm on the card.”
Real Freakke stops a moment having seen something particularly nasty in the demolition derby.
”We've got more or less an example of both here this week. Bushido, who lets be honest, is right in that I haven't done so well so far at IWF, having lost all four of my matches. It happens. At least the champ gives props where there due. Captivating is a word I haven't heard used in a long time. I like that. Still, we've got that, 'You're a joke' mentality. For being the clown, please, wait till ya hear the Punchline. For not having a great record in IWF? Jeez dude its been a month and we've got a top notch roster. Sure I'm gonna lose a few. It just comes off as pompous and arrogant and just really looking like some kind of great big doody head so Naaaahhhh”
Freakke looks at the camera for a moment like he heard the noise but then resumes his rants.
”Rob Diamond. Again, ya don't need to repeat the fact your not going to underestimate or forget about me. Trust me, that's more than abundantly clear when the bell rings more often than not. It's redundant and tired and getting more than a little boring actually. Its the same old song. I know you know I know your watching me just like I know you know I know you know I'm not being written off. I think. Long story short, ya don't need to tell me I can in fact kick your ass, I know that. All you have to do is worry about me actually doing it. 'Kay cupcake? Just bring your A-game and we'll see where the chips fall at the end of the match.”
The Carnival King no longer seems to be talking about the match as he walks and romps around the stage like King Kong.
”What is thi-....I don't even....screw it. Comments on what I do outside of the ring and why my opponents should or should not be paying attention to me inside, aside, what we have here, is a three way accident waiting to happen. Really. A wonderful mashup of talent and 'Oh God its just so awesome'. The Cruiserweight Champion, one half of the Tag Team Championship, and one crazy clown guy who probably should be dead as many times as he's crashed into the ground and various junk that he has. This is the scene from the second Matrix flick where the two Mac trucks smash into each other, except there are three trucks and they're all Optimus Prime! Beyond just how awesome that is, the match is just a match. No titles are on the line. Its just gonna be awesome. No real crushing rivalries to tend to. I got nothing to lose...except maybe the match but that's not the point. I intend on stepping in the ring and putting myself in harms way. I might have to be carried out of the ring, but I wont be the only one. This week its just three guys in the corners waiting to rush head long into the fray. No real value, yet the most enriching of all. These really are the matches worth watching. These are the matches that show whose bringing it all.”
Freakke stops a moment and then smirks. An almost perfect dub then starts.
”The one thing we all forget from time to time is that when the bell rings, our titles, our past, our gimmick's, they mean exactly, jack, diddly, and squat. We can't hide behind them when it hits the fan. There's no protection that comes from being champion. There's no guarantee of victory after having won the week before or X number of matches before that. There's no excuse for being the clown. When this match is over and the ref is holding up the winner's hand, what happens when the bodies are lieing twisted on the ground and one guy manages to pull it together for just three seconds? What happens when its over and all the words we've said are meaningless? What happens when the joke beats the Champions? Monday Night, we'll see who laughs last.”
The Carnival King smirked as he reached down to pick up another sign. He flipped it in his hands as the sounds kicked back in. Only one engine is roaring as a banged up Buick drifts a victory lap behind the stage.
'Haha'
Well howdy there pardner.