Steve Awesome is a Punk Ass Bitch

[Joe Everyman]

Send in your skeletons
Sing as their bones go marching in again
The need you buried deep
The secrets that you keep are ever ready

Steve Awesome is a punk ass bitch.

You heard it here first, folks. Well... it's been said a lot over the years, but for the first time in IWF, you're hearing it! Steve Awesome is now, has always been, and will always be, a punk ass bitch. Why would I make such a bold claim? Because it's the truth. And I know that every single one of you can see it. But, for those in IWF who don't know this man, allow me to run it down for you.

He's a punk ass bitch.

He tried to premiere, and make a big deal about himself. He failed.

I stole all of his thunder, while shutting down his ego for a week.

That's all. And do you know why? Because everything he's done before IWF doesn't matter anymore. You're coming in with a clean slate, just like the rest of us. And what do you do with it? You have more than a golden opportunity to be someone new. You have a chance to be something more than just... awesome. And you decide to go back on your heels and become yourself again. Instead of being an instant contender, you became an instant pretender.

That's why I came out to interrupt you, Steve. I came out because I am going to prove that you are nothing but a pretender anymore. People may see the shinny pants and the bad hair and assume you're either the big time, or Edward Cullen. I would have to side with the latter, of course. But, it's more than that. You wanted to be shot into the prime time, despite doing nothing for IWF yet. Your ego is more out of control than anybody's that I have ever faced. And Steve, I have to put an end to that.

I put an end to my ego, and you can do that same. We all love being in the lime light, we all love having a fair amount of glory, but too much can be sickening. And Steve, you passed too much years ago. You have a sickness, and I'm here to help cleanse you! We will get you over your ego problem, or die trying! ...well, you'll die trying. My main medicine is repeated blows to the head. And enough of those could put you down for a while. But, it's a risk that I'm willing to take!

Oh, and by the way, Steve... sending your little goons after me only made me angrier. I've been pissed at you for years, and now, you've made it even worse. I will rip through them, and then I will rip through you. And on top of all of that, I'm still in second place in the Heir to the Throne tournament. And I plan on staying in the top four. When Lineage comes around, I won't have to make the choice of fighting you, or fighting for the Imperial Championship... because I for damn sure will do both in one night! And I'll win both. Why am I so sure? Because it's something I have to do.

The scene slowly opens up inside of the Joe Everyman household, in the bedroom to be more specific. Melanie sits upon the bed by herself, crying. She's holding what looks to be an old journal in her hands. After a few moments, the bedroom door opens up and in walks Joe, holding his bag and a hoodie from his trip back from Sacrifice.

Joe Everyman: I'm home, Mel! Thank you for putti- ...oh my god, are you ok?

Joe sees Melanie, who quickly tries to wipe away her tears. She closes the journal and places it on the bed next to her, before forcing a smile.

Melanie Brooks: Yeah... I'm fine.

Joe quickly walks over to the bed and grabs Melanie's hand. She looks down at it, seeing her engagement ring on her hand, between Joe's fingers.

Joe Everyman: Come on. Tell me, what's wrong?

Melanie Brooks: ...I'm scared.

Joe Everyman: Of what? What happened?

Melanie Brooks: Nothing... happened. It's just... what if I can't do it?

Joe Everyman: Do what?

Melanie Brooks: Be a mother... be a wife... what if I fail at doing those?

Joe is speechless that a thought like this could slip into his fiance's mind. Joe immediately gets up onto the bed and holds Melanie with both of his arms. She immediately collapses into them, letting out more tears. Joe holds her tight, closing his eyes.

Joe Everyman: Melanie, I know you're going to be the greatest mother ever. I've seen how you are with Aurora. She thinks of you like a mother now anyway. But, please tell me... why would you think this?

Melanie is breathing heavily, trying to control herself. The tears continue to stream down her face.

Joe Everyman: Baby, please.

Melanie stops and takes a big breath before exhaling slowly. She takes a moment to wipe away the new tears on her face.

Melanie Brooks: Even since I was a little girl, all I wanted to do was be loved and to be a mother. Now that those things are finally here... it's just a lot of pressure...

Joe Everyman: I know it is. Being that attached to someone can be hard on your soul. But, it helps when that other person is that attached to you. I know that you're going to be an amazing mother. And you pretty much are already my wife. I know neither have happened yet, but you have to trust me.

Melanie Brooks: It's just hard...

Joe Everyman: Sweetheart, I know it is. But you know I'm here for you. And I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I love you, Melanie.

Melanie begins crying more. She can't possibly control herself through this influx of emotion.

Melanie Brooks: I love you too, Joe...

She sinks further into Joe's arms, still crying her heart out. Joe holds onto her more, trying to aid her in feeling better. He kisses her on the top of the head while squeezing his eyes shut. They stay like this for a few moments before the scene slowly fades to black.

To say this coming week is important is a vast understatement. I am doing my best to be a new man, with no ego. I know that I'm doing all of this for my fans and for my family, but there are weeks like this... where you just have to win. I am going up against three of the most dangerous men in this whole tournament in Lex Sense, Ryan Shane and Bernard de Montfort. These three and myself could very well end up in the finals, and that wouldn't surprise me one bit. I need to distance myself from them, sooner rather than later.

I have so much riding on this match. Self worth, my family's future, my own career's future. I know it's only the third match in this long tournament, but this one may be the biggest one of the whole thing. The leader and second place locking horns in the middle of the ring. It's been a long time, Lex.

It's been some time since we rocked the world as EverySense, and even longer since we faced off as opponents. You are one of those men that I will never grow tired of watching in the ring. And you are one of those men that I will never underestimate. And that will not change this coming Monday night. I know that I will have to be on my absolute best to even have a shot at besting you. You are a beast in the ring, but you are a slay-able beast. I'm going to put forth my best effort, and if I can put you down, you can be damn sure I'll be celebrating.

Next, onto Ryan Shane. You really showed me something this week. You showed me that you are more than just an ego-ridden man. You showed me that you can hold your own in the ring very well. And you even took down the behemoth known as Deathtrain. But, you played your hand. I know your best stuff now. I was able to analyze you, and I know you now. Come this Monday, I'll be able to get the upper hand against you. I know that I will. And I hope that you don't think less of me, just because I didn't win and you did. Many people over my career have done that, and I put them down the next time I faced them. And with only one week removed, you'll have much less time to make that mistake. I promise you, this Monday, I will be the one to put you out.

And finally... Bernard de Moneybags. A daddy's boy if I've ever seen one. You play the stereotypical part of the bosses song so well. You are spoiled rotten, never working a day in your life. That will come back and kick your ass sooner than later. And if I have to be that guy... then I will be. You are the epitome of what is wrong with this world. You were both with a silver spoon in your mouth, and you expect everybody to do whatever YOU want. You expect everybody to give you anything YOU want. You don't think you need to work a day in your life, because you have daddy's money. People like you make me sick.

I had to do all of this on my own. I didn't get my parent's help through it all. I had to pay my way through life. I had to pay my own college tuition. I had to pay my way through wrestling school. I had to make a life for myself, through my own hard work and my own determination. Everybody thought I would fail, and look where I am now. I have to work to feed my family, and keep a roof over their head. I wasn't given anything. And look where I am now. Bernard, you may think you're the tops, but in all honesty, you are nothing but the bottom.

Thinking about you make me feel physically ill. You have the biggest ego of anybody in this match. And this Monday, I have one hell of a chance to put an end to that ego. I know that you will accept nothing less than total victory, so I will make it my solemn duty to take you out first. I will knock you off of your cloud high above, and watch as you tumble back down to Earth, among us mortals.

The three of you may see yourselves as kings, but you will soon see that it is the peasants that truly control this kingdom. I will show that the normal man can go up against Goliaths and come out on top. I will show everybody that you do not need to fear those above you. All you need is a strong heart and you will get far. And lucky for me... I have the strongest heart of them all.

Are you ready?
I'm finished making sense
Done pleading ignorance
That whole defense

Spinning infinity, boy
The wheel is spinning me
It's never-ending, never-ending
Same old story