Post by Mike Machado on Jun 27, 2013 14:35:01 GMT
“It’s not very comfortable in the heat, Juan.”
We open close on Machado who is seated next to Juan Carlos Domingo, wearing his new luchador mask. He lifts the bottom of the mask up a bit and pours a bottle of water onto his face. He replaces the mask and carefully feels the bottom to make sure it’s fit correctly.
“I told you – you aren’t supposed to wear it when you aren’t wrestling. The whole point is…”
“The whole point is so Jake Keeton doesn’t find me. What if Jake Keeton decides to come to the beach, Juan? Did you ever consider that?”
The camera pulls out some, and we notice that Machado is in fact on the beach. Wearing a luchador mask. …On the beach.
“Would you mind putting some lotion on my back?”
“Some… what? No, idiot.”
“C’mon Juan… my skin is really fair.”
“I’m not putting any lotion on your back.”
Machado sighs and lifts himself off of his beach towel. He picks his speedo-wedgie out of his ass, and walks up to an innocent woman in a bikini, holding the bottle of lotion out.
“Ma’am, would you mind?”
“Wh…what?! GET AWAY FROM ME!”
The woman takes off running down the beach away from Machado. Machado makes his way back to his beach towel.
“This thing is really throwing off my mojo.”
Machado sits back down on his beach towel, giving up on his lotion mission for now. Juan Carlos adjusts his sunglasses and sips a bottle of water.
“We didn’t come here so you can scare away women, Mike.”
“Call me Miguel.”
“I’m not calling you Miguel.”
“Miguel Muchacho. You have to call me that.”
“I’m not calling you that. That’s not even a real name. I’m calling you Mike; or dumbass. Your choice.”
“Fine. I’m calling you John then.”
“Whatever floats your boat, dumbass.”
Machado grunts, unsatisfied but unwilling to press the issue any further.
“Why are we here then, Juan?”
“We’re here so that you can relax. You’ve been so uptight lately – and it almost got you killed on Sacrifice.”
“I was doing fine…”
“Lex Sense almost put you in the hospital. I’m not sure that you shouldn’t be in one.”
“That’s the first place Keeton will look.”
“Shut up and enjoy the day off, amigo. There’s a ton of hard work in your future.”
Juan Carlos rolls over onto his stomach, sighing and ending the conversation.
Como Estan, bitches?
My name is Miguel Muchacho, and I have been chosen to take the place of Mike Machado on this week’s IWF show, Sacrifice. I realize that the name has not yet been updated on the card, but if you read the bottom it clearly states “card subject to change”.
I am the subject that they’re speaking of.
So, you three hombres want to dance? I guess the three of you are supposed to be scary, eh? Let’s dance! I have no fear of the men that have been put in front of me. I am Miguel Muchacho! The ..Mexican… Mauler… from Mexico. I have wrestled …bears! And men riding bears using machine guns. I am a legend south of the border.
You little homies have no idea what you’re up against. I was trained in the Mexican…Marine Corps… as a … el Sea Lion. That is the Mexican version of the Navy Seals, hombres. You’re all dead, kiddos!
They call me “el nino!” Do you know what that means? It means “the storm”. I am going to storm into the IWF like a hurricane, and I am going to blow every guy on the roster until they fall to the ground. After I’m done blowing the three of you on Monday, I’m going to go blow the next three guys that are put in front of me. I hearby swear on the memory of my dead uncle Jose Rodrigo Muchcho the third, that I will blow the ever-living shit out of this entire roster until I have blown my way to the top!
I have spoken with Mike Machado, and he assures me that he has already wrestled against two of the competitors in this match, Deathtrain, and Cable Arcane. He said that you’re both pretty badass essays, but that he was able to hold his own against you. If Mike was able to hold his own with you, then it will be a walk in the park for me. I’m a classically trained, Mexican Luchador from Mexico. How can you possibly think to stand up against me in the ring?
I guess the only wildcard we have besides me of course, is Mike Lazlo. The guy has a lot going for him, and a lot going on. I mean he has the girl, the looks, the athletic ability, the wins…
Oh wait. I guess he doesn’t have the wins. I was thinking of his opponents. My bad, amigo.
He may not have the wins – but he certainly has the attitude. Reading el twittero – it is clear that Mike Lazlo is in fact the internet's champion. Unfortunately, Lazzy – to win this Imperial championship it’s going to take more than tweets and BS - you’re going to have to win some matches.
That’s just not in the cards this week.
I’ve got a lot to prove – being brand new to this wrestling federation.
So Lazlo, Deathtrain, Arcane, I have one question for you:
“I don’t know if I can do it, Juan.”
Machado lays on his back in the middle of an empty gym, panting. He folds up the bottom of his new luchador mask for access to more oxygen.
“What other choice do you have? Are you going to give up?”
“No.”
“Well then you have to get up, and you have to try again.”
Machado groans and lifts himself up off of the mat, replacing his mask. After a few more labored breaths he uses the ropes to springboard himself toward Juan in the middle of the ring. Juan jumps up into the air with astonishing agility, easily leapfrogging Mike. Mike hits the opposite side and bounces off back toward the middle of the ring. When he meets Juan in the middle this time, Juan ducks and Machado jumps up into the air over Juan, and flips onto his back in an attempt at a sunset flip. Unfortunately, he overshoots by quite a bit, and lands out of reach of his trainer.
“God dammit!”
Juan Carlos smiles, looking down at his student.
“Better. Again.”
Machado digs down deep and peels himself up off of the mat, he leans onto the ropes for a moment before he grunts loudly, launching himself toward Juan Carlos yet again.
We open close on Machado who is seated next to Juan Carlos Domingo, wearing his new luchador mask. He lifts the bottom of the mask up a bit and pours a bottle of water onto his face. He replaces the mask and carefully feels the bottom to make sure it’s fit correctly.
“I told you – you aren’t supposed to wear it when you aren’t wrestling. The whole point is…”
“The whole point is so Jake Keeton doesn’t find me. What if Jake Keeton decides to come to the beach, Juan? Did you ever consider that?”
The camera pulls out some, and we notice that Machado is in fact on the beach. Wearing a luchador mask. …On the beach.
“Would you mind putting some lotion on my back?”
“Some… what? No, idiot.”
“C’mon Juan… my skin is really fair.”
“I’m not putting any lotion on your back.”
Machado sighs and lifts himself off of his beach towel. He picks his speedo-wedgie out of his ass, and walks up to an innocent woman in a bikini, holding the bottle of lotion out.
“Ma’am, would you mind?”
“Wh…what?! GET AWAY FROM ME!”
The woman takes off running down the beach away from Machado. Machado makes his way back to his beach towel.
“This thing is really throwing off my mojo.”
Machado sits back down on his beach towel, giving up on his lotion mission for now. Juan Carlos adjusts his sunglasses and sips a bottle of water.
“We didn’t come here so you can scare away women, Mike.”
“Call me Miguel.”
“I’m not calling you Miguel.”
“Miguel Muchacho. You have to call me that.”
“I’m not calling you that. That’s not even a real name. I’m calling you Mike; or dumbass. Your choice.”
“Fine. I’m calling you John then.”
“Whatever floats your boat, dumbass.”
Machado grunts, unsatisfied but unwilling to press the issue any further.
“Why are we here then, Juan?”
“We’re here so that you can relax. You’ve been so uptight lately – and it almost got you killed on Sacrifice.”
“I was doing fine…”
“Lex Sense almost put you in the hospital. I’m not sure that you shouldn’t be in one.”
“That’s the first place Keeton will look.”
“Shut up and enjoy the day off, amigo. There’s a ton of hard work in your future.”
Juan Carlos rolls over onto his stomach, sighing and ending the conversation.
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Como Estan, bitches?
My name is Miguel Muchacho, and I have been chosen to take the place of Mike Machado on this week’s IWF show, Sacrifice. I realize that the name has not yet been updated on the card, but if you read the bottom it clearly states “card subject to change”.
I am the subject that they’re speaking of.
So, you three hombres want to dance? I guess the three of you are supposed to be scary, eh? Let’s dance! I have no fear of the men that have been put in front of me. I am Miguel Muchacho! The ..Mexican… Mauler… from Mexico. I have wrestled …bears! And men riding bears using machine guns. I am a legend south of the border.
You little homies have no idea what you’re up against. I was trained in the Mexican…Marine Corps… as a … el Sea Lion. That is the Mexican version of the Navy Seals, hombres. You’re all dead, kiddos!
They call me “el nino!” Do you know what that means? It means “the storm”. I am going to storm into the IWF like a hurricane, and I am going to blow every guy on the roster until they fall to the ground. After I’m done blowing the three of you on Monday, I’m going to go blow the next three guys that are put in front of me. I hearby swear on the memory of my dead uncle Jose Rodrigo Muchcho the third, that I will blow the ever-living shit out of this entire roster until I have blown my way to the top!
I have spoken with Mike Machado, and he assures me that he has already wrestled against two of the competitors in this match, Deathtrain, and Cable Arcane. He said that you’re both pretty badass essays, but that he was able to hold his own against you. If Mike was able to hold his own with you, then it will be a walk in the park for me. I’m a classically trained, Mexican Luchador from Mexico. How can you possibly think to stand up against me in the ring?
I guess the only wildcard we have besides me of course, is Mike Lazlo. The guy has a lot going for him, and a lot going on. I mean he has the girl, the looks, the athletic ability, the wins…
Oh wait. I guess he doesn’t have the wins. I was thinking of his opponents. My bad, amigo.
He may not have the wins – but he certainly has the attitude. Reading el twittero – it is clear that Mike Lazlo is in fact the internet's champion. Unfortunately, Lazzy – to win this Imperial championship it’s going to take more than tweets and BS - you’re going to have to win some matches.
That’s just not in the cards this week.
I’ve got a lot to prove – being brand new to this wrestling federation.
So Lazlo, Deathtrain, Arcane, I have one question for you:
¿DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTEQUE?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I don’t know if I can do it, Juan.”
Machado lays on his back in the middle of an empty gym, panting. He folds up the bottom of his new luchador mask for access to more oxygen.
“What other choice do you have? Are you going to give up?”
“No.”
“Well then you have to get up, and you have to try again.”
Machado groans and lifts himself up off of the mat, replacing his mask. After a few more labored breaths he uses the ropes to springboard himself toward Juan in the middle of the ring. Juan jumps up into the air with astonishing agility, easily leapfrogging Mike. Mike hits the opposite side and bounces off back toward the middle of the ring. When he meets Juan in the middle this time, Juan ducks and Machado jumps up into the air over Juan, and flips onto his back in an attempt at a sunset flip. Unfortunately, he overshoots by quite a bit, and lands out of reach of his trainer.
“God dammit!”
Juan Carlos smiles, looking down at his student.
“Better. Again.”
Machado digs down deep and peels himself up off of the mat, he leans onto the ropes for a moment before he grunts loudly, launching himself toward Juan Carlos yet again.
Well howdy there pardner.