CANDID CAMERA, EPISODE III

[Mercedes Vargas]

CANDID CAMERA, EPISODE 3
[T H E • V A R G A S • E F F E C T]

***Uploaded to IWF.com and all streaming devices***

[REC•]

[Scene opens on Mercedes writing a letter on stationery. Today, she's wearing a "Eat Spike Eat" t-shirt over high rise jeans and is barefoot. When she looks up, noticing the camera, she stops what she's doing and smiles.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"Oh, hello there. Welcome to "Candid Camera", the "Keep Calm, it's Wednesday" edition. As you probably noticed, I was in the middle of writing a very heartfelt letter, which I hope gets in the hands of the right people. I think I'll get back to this a little later, but for now, let's get into our episode for today, shall we?"

[A rueful smile follows the long pause, then a deep breath.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"So, last episode, I talked about my hard-fought loss at Sacrifice with Rayne and Alexis in a match that I was never pinned, you know, the one placed on the preshow? Yeah, that one. And then I talked about my next pair of matches at Training Grounds, which both resulted in losses. Yeah, not a good time to be me right now. One thing led to another and this week, I find out not only was I not booked for Sacrifice, but I didn't have a match for Training Grounds either. Basically, I have a free week to myself. Well, alright! Am I glad I found something constructive to do - idle hands and all that - or else I would be in a coma, a boredom-induced coma. Anyway."

[With a toss of her brunette hair, Mercedes continues.]

"[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"You know, when I signed with the Imperial Wrestling Federation, I was looking forward to wrestling a few familiar faces, meeting new competition, getting my name out there and climbing the ladder to challenge for titles. It's all I ever wanted to do. I was hoping to get noticed, but I never felt I could do it. Oh sure, I've beaten the best this company has to offer, I became Ruby Champion and then made history by becoming the longest reigning champion, but there was something missing. I'm not quite sure what it was, but then it hit me: You know you made it in life when you get the attention of the top champions in all of the Imperial Wrestling Federation. And as the Imperial and Diamond Champions, the Golden Couple, are sure to remind you, when they speak, we shut up and listen.

"I don't think I received that memo, but that's okay because let's face it, everybody wants to know what's on the mind of Mercedes Vargas. It's why after two episodes, the views continue to pour in. Crazy, right? So a day after my second"Candid Camera" aired, Alex Jones took to Twitter to show his appreciation. He said, and I quote, "Dear, Mercedes..."

[Mercedes briefly looks up at the camera while pointing to herself with a goofy expression on her face.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"That's me!"

[She goes back to remembering the tweet.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"Dear, Mercedes. No one cares. Signed IWF Roster. Hash tag shut the fuck up, hashtag midcarder for life, hash tag jerks more than the curtain."

[Mercedes reels back as if she has been shot and holds a hand over her heart.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"Wow, just wow. I don’t know what to say. I’m flattered, really. Here I thought the most important man in the company, the IWF World Champion, would simply ignore me like everybody else. With all of the promotional events and meet-and-greets and talk show appearances and photo-ops, Alex Jones would ignore the Diamond who obviously makes herself seem more important than she actually is. Instead, he took time out of his busy day to think about me and respond kindly. Sharing is caring and all that. It wasn't nice what he said and I expected a real, actual letter, but that's OK. I completely understand. Maybe bringing back that repressed memory of him getting his butt kicked by Zelda all those years ago set him off, and he has every right to be. Probably more angry that he and Robbie are going to take a trip down memory lane in two weeks at the People's Choice pay-per-view. Won't that be fun?

"Alex fought the match of his life against Roberto Verona at A Night to Remember, but did anyone expect him to be the fall guy? I don't think so. Still, when you look back at that moment, don't you just feel for him? Alex Jones: From champion to footnote in a single night? Ouch! I'm willing to bet A Night to Remember was a night he would like to forget, no thanks to Zelda."

[She smirks.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"Oh, I know, I know, even after NCW closed its doors Zelda remains kind of a big deal around here, and I guess they wanted to keep the nostalgia by making her the IWF Commissioner here, which ended up as a wash, but that's neither here or there. Back in NCW, I completely understand for most of the Starlets at the time, they couldn't deal with having to lose to her over and over and over again. It was so bad that even before I got there, she managed to build up an unbeaten singles streak that lasted damn near over two years. That's kind of telling, you know. It tells me one of two things: Either she was going a little too easy on her opponents, or the talent there couldn't measure up.

"If I can be candid for a moment, I don't think there's any argument that Zelda was the kiss of death of the Starlets Division. With a EMF stamp in one hand and a shovel in the other, the casual wrestling fan might have mistaken the division as a graveyard with all those careers she put to rest; others couldn't roll with the punches and left for greener pastures. Either way, you knew that after the bell rang and rang again, those three words always came up: Zelda wins, lolz. Followed by that damn stage dive."

[Mercedes rolls her eyes.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"But I guess I'm the one that got away, huh? While it may have taken some help from Kelly Knite, how many people in the Starlets Division, let alone NCW, can say they pinned her sister-in-law in a singles match? Not many. Few people can say they have beaten Zelda outside of that company too, and not just when it didn't matter. While she may have been a world beater in the eyes of most people, I actually beat her for world titles at her expense, twice. But really, I didn't come here to brag, because Zelda Knite not only became a name on my checklist, but she was just the latest to fall victim to an phenomena that has gone unexplained for years. Many theories and formulas have been used to solve this mystery but to no success. Rocket scientists and geniuses are baffled, scholars are speechless, and four out of five doctors have quit medical school because of it. Just what is this confounding enigma? It's called dot dot dot...the Vargas Effect." 

[Don't laugh, it really does exist.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"Take Rayne, for example. Since I defeated her in my debut, she wasn't seen or heard from again for an unprecedented ten long months. And let's not forget, I've beaten her at Diamonds are Forever in back-to-back years. Coincidence? I think not. Or what about Eternity, the FACE of the COE? Third-match into my debut, and I beat her for the 1-2-3. I know, shocking, right? Who'd have thunk it? Sure, she got her revenge and her claim to fame by setting a table on fire and sending me through it and "won" so to speak by referee's decision, but it won't change the fact that I'm one of the very few Diamonds to claim a pinfall over her.

"Or what about Christine Rochette, hmm? Amber's bodyguard came in with all this bravado and hype and this larger-than-life presence about her, but what happened? The Vargas Effect, that's what. Amber had to sit there and watch as I embarrassed and humiliated her client like never before and caused her first loss in IWF, and then I beat her AGAIN three weeks later in a tag team match. Sure, the chokeslam I received from Chrissie at the end of that one was a little excessive and a telling sign of a sore loser, but if I can live through a few broken ribs, I can live with that. Amber Richards, on the other hand, could not. So, it was no surprise when she gave her client the 'boot' (said in a stereotypical Canadian accent) right back to that third world country she calls home. Oh, Canada!"

[Mercedes waves a miniature Canadian flag.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"Then there's Jennifer Famularo. When I pinned her to become Ruby Champion, she was never the same again. Even when she was thrown into a pointless contendership battle royal. Alice Blake, the other person I beat in that match, become a ghost. She hardly is booked these days, if ever. What about Joanne Canelli? Hasn't been seen since I beat her back on April of last year and promptly quit the company. Speaking of April, anyone know where she went after I kicked her ass twice and was never from again? What's that, back to Colchester, Vermont? The Vargas Effect."

[Mercedes laces her fingers together, dropping them below her chin while adding a small chuckle.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"And we can't forget about Amber. We may not be rivals in her eyes and, yes, she has gone on record to defeat me twice, both instances during the Heiress to the Throne last year. But when she looks back at making history wrestling in her 50th match in the company and her first match since losing the Diamonds Championship at Diamonds are Forever, guess who ruined that moment for her? Yeah, that's right, me. She hasn't been the same since that night. In fact, she lost two more matches after the fact and as much as I hate to say it, that isn't the right mind frame to have ahead of a championship match. As sure as she'll remind everyone, she is a thee-time Diamonds Champion, but let's not forget that all three of her reigns was ended by, yes, you guessed it, Ana Valentine. And in in her re-match this past Monday, Amber proved that she is what we thought she was. The Vargas Effect, people. It's real.

[Mercedes raises her hands in resignation as she stands to her feet.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"Speaking of personal, how about that Firenze Everette, huh? She sure knows how to keep a captive audience, doesn't she? And by "captive audience", I mean they would have to be locked in a room and forced to listen to her go on endlessly about her accomplishments – as little as they are – as a means of torture. Luckily, I didn't even need to be there in Salt Lake City, Utah, to hear all of it, but I did happen to hear that she went head over heels just talking about me for most of her fifteen minutes. For some reason, the words "shots fired" sums it up nicely. In any event, while I may not be competing on Training Grounds, I think I might stop by tomorrow anyway."

She pauses, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. Almost despite herself, Mercedes takes on a comical tone.

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"I get that so many people shower me with hate and vitriol, but you know something? It's still attention and publicity, so I win. Sooner or later, they'll realize that contrary to popular belief, I'm not stuck with them, they're stuck with me."

[She returns to the coy, almost snobbish expression.]

[M E R C E D E S ♦ V A R G A S]
"Is this the real life? Is it just fantasy?"

[And with a little wave at the camera, Mercedes offers a parting smile as our scene fades.]