Post by Mohammed Al Thani on May 27, 2015 12:00:26 GMT
The rednecks slowly begin to wake up and open their eyes after drinking and no doubt partying from a party last night. Squeek is the first to wake up, passed out on the sofa with the words “Fucktard” along with whiskers and a dog nose marked on his face by permanent marker from last night. He sees the whole place is completely trashed from ornaments to television being caved in to even the windows with what appears to be stained blood around the sharp edges of the broken glass. He immediately smells something and jumps when he notices that a bin is on fire. He stomps it out to which Murdoch grumbles and mumbles as he wakes up.
Squeek: Boss, what did we do last night?
Murdoch spits out before the blood shot eyes and bruising from a fight are seen. His hair is standing up on end along with the beast looking around at the carnage that has been created by their ways from the night before.
Murdoch: Is this all we did? Pfft this is baby shit compared to how we’ve left some places.
Squeek tries to pull the beast up, but Murdoch is so big that he can’t do it. The beast eventually gets on to his knees and rubs his face as he tries to be as normal as he can be.
Murdoch: Well I’m hungry , who’s for some vodka and meat?
Squeek nods but raises his finger.
Squeek: Emm as much as we love our breakfast of vodka and meat, shouldn’t we clean up the place before we’re supposed to emm what’s the word….train?
Murdoch smiles before headbutting Squeek in the nose, causing the little one to bleed.
Murdoch: Why on earth would I do such a thing you little faggot? IT’S NOT EVEN OUR HOUSE!
Squeek: Wait…this isn’t ours?
Murdoch: No you mongatron! We have never owned a house before! How much did you fucking drink you retard!!! We broke in as we started a party and raided their cupboards? Shit we need to go before the cops get here! But first a little case of taking a massive shit.
Murdoch goes to the bathroom before the sound of a meow can be heard. Squeek pulls away trash and broken pieces of the sound system they destroyed last night before his eyes widen open as he sees a ginger female cat.
Squeek: Aww aren’t you a cutey!
But what Squeek didn’t realise is that the cat is in heat and continues to headbutt Squeek for affection along with wrapping itself around his legs. She continually meows loud as he puts her hind legs up which starts to annoy Murdoch and confuse Squeek.
Squeek: What’s wrong with you little one? You hungry? Thirsty?
Murdoch (distant from bathroom): SQUEEK SHUT THAT FUCKING ANIMAL UP! I’M TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT IN PEACE!
Squeek pets the animal and picks her up to hug into her.
Squeek: Oh stop meowing. It’s okay I’ll look after you. I’ll feed you, water you, hug and love you all the time!
The female cat still meows loudly which again makes Murdoch respond angrily to shut the cat up. Squeeks lack of intelligence again points out that he still doesn’t know the cat is in heat as he claws a little bit of his skin and meowing constantly.
Squeek: Oh I know what it is! You’re trying to talk to me! Aww well it’s nice to meet you too! My name is-
Murdoch takes the cat off Squeek and snaps her neck, killing her instantly. He drops her into Squeeks arms to which a shocked Squeeks eyes widen open and start to water. He begins to whine like he is almost about to cry before Murdoch returns, taking the dead cat.
Murdoch: The selfish pricks don’t have any toilet roll, I need something to wipe my shitty ass with.
Squeek looks at his open arms and hands as his lower lip comes out as the whining slowly creeps out of his voice.
----------------------------
After hearing sirens, Murdoch and Squeek are on the streets. With Murdoch stinking of mold and booze, Squeek is more reclusive and being introverted which becomes more clearer with Murdoch as his hangover starts to go away.
Murdoch: Are still ass hurt over that cat bitch tits?
Squeek crosses his arms as his bottom lip comes out again.
Squeek: That animal did nothing to you. Don’t you care about anything in this world apart from yourself!!
Murdoch: Nope.
Murdoch punches a dog next to him tied to a leash unconscious to prove his point.
Squeek: What on earth was that for!!!! The elders told me to keep you under control and that’s wha Imma be doing as of right now!
Murdoch begins to laugh hysterically.
Murdoch: They sent you away with me because they wanted rid of you little turd bitch! You set their church on fire.
Squeek: Wasn’t my fault! I was only wanting to look at the purdy colours you see on a flame! I swear if you make fun of me thirteen more times im am going home!
Murdoch begins to pat Squeeks shoulder.
Murdoch: Oh squeak you have so much to learn….Because if you dare do such a thing to me ill shove your shit back up your asshole and put metal bolts up your dick hole…..followed by beating you into the next stone age! Got it?
Squeek nods in fear.
Murdoch: Good boy. Now let me see….Ah bingo!
Murdoch finds a table that is in the back of a trailer and without any hesitation snaps a leg off it. He then looks around and steals a large bag nearby and puts the table leg in. Squeek tries to talk but Murdoch makes him quiet. He ties the bag up before walking on as normal.
Murdoch: I have however listened to you Squeek about training and you’re right.
Squeek (confused): I am?
Murdoch nods.
Murdoch: Yes you’re right. We shouldn’t be breaking into homes and having parties. We should be investing our money as soon as the cheques start coming! Our own trailer to live and drive in! We can go to shows, maybe gyms, bars, strip clubs and not miss a single thing!
So we can fight train fuck and be drunk all in one day!
Squeek: You really mean it?!
Murdoch: Yes my little Tinkerbelle acquaintance I am. But we need to set out getting a deposit first before we get our first cheque for fighting!
Squeek: Finally we’re getting paid for fighting, must be something you’ve been waiting for years to be paid for doing!
The two walk into a bank which is full of customers.
Murdoch: Yes it is Squeek….And now here is to our future. Because the fucking rednecks future is now!
Murdoch raises the bagged table leg in the air in the bank.
Murdoch: EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND OR I’LL FUCKING SHOOT!
…………………………………..
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!
Gentlemen….That was a fart.
A big greasy wet fart that nearly shat my pants.
A gas of faeces.
Why am I describing my fart? It is because that it what the Olympians are. A big gassy fart that appears to dominate the aroma in the air, but in reality is just a fart that is swept away in the wind.
Squeek: Don’t forget the gayness with them too boss.
Murdoch: I’M TRYING TO BE POETIC HERE SQUEEK!
Squeek: Sorry…
Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted by my retarded colleague who doesn’t know how to spell cat. We are going to make history. It’s true. I mean who would have thought a couple of rednecks with their greasy hair, unwashed bodies, smell of shit and liquor and downright rotten to the bone would come into a professional company and turn the tables? Because come Night of the Immortals we’ll be doing the giving and you’ll be the ones taking it deep!
And it will be very painful!
But you know what bugs me Squeek about these two jokers? It’s one big fat gimmick to them.
(sarcastically)Oh look at me, I’m like one of the greek gods and titans with my big biceps and six pack. Please suck our dicks because it will be the closest thing to sucking a gods dick you’ll ever taste!
Ha Ha ha….I bet you taste like a grandmother who hasn’t had it in a decade. Nothing but dust and dryness!
See as much of a bunch of filthy animals we are. We’re legitimate, we’re ourselves and we don’t need a gimmick to stop us doing whatever the fuck we want. We drink, we fuck hookers, we fuck shit up and we fight! We fight until the bones in our knuckles have eroded. We fight no matter how many scars stain our bodies for a lifetime. And we sure as hell keep fighting even when the last drop of blood is shed.
You cannot prepare for opponents like us. We’re dumb, love our guns and our fists. That is close to being the deadliest people in these wonderful tooting United States!
Instead of being in photo shoots , I’m shooting people for pissing me off. Instead of being on twitter, whatever the fuck that is, I’m in bars looking for a fight with my shitty ass hanging out like 50 pounds of crack, heck I should be arrested for that HA!
We don’t do what the system wants us to do, but you do Titan and Kronus, what a bunch of fucking shitty names. I mean
Titan and Kronus? Fuck me sounds like you’re in gay porn once a week with fisting males assholes and putting your tongues up your own dick holes.
But as you see over the nature of time you two gay cowboys will soon realise….The system always needs changed and does change. And that comes with us! The fucking rednecks!
We will become the first men in IWF history to win belts on our debuts and pay per view debuts!
We will become the first men to end the so called shit streak of the Olympians, note to self the streak in my underwear is richer and better than your streak.
You won’t know how to cope with us. No one does. And when that little bitty piece of shit treacles down your leg when you see how much of a psychotic and lunatic bunch of men we are…Well it’s game, set and match!
Regardless of whatever little technical ability you have, and you could turn us into pretzels if you want! You can use all of your Olympic strength to cave our skulls in. Heck part of my skull is already caved the fuck in. Our lives have been to take pain, as much as you can….And like a rattlesnake wait for your prey…And give it the fuck back!
That leg lariat for your Olympian slam ain’t gonna knock me out boy. While the beatings we will give you will make you look like you’re having a female period every week.
….
Oh and speaking of female periods, we’ll be happy to double team your girl manager there too. She’s hot as fuck! And plus she’ll want to screw real men with no gimmicks needed.
Squeek: You’s are gonna get fucked up real soon he he he!
Murdoch: Yes Squeek, yes they are. I can’t wait to get my gingivitis teeth on that gold and show the whole world that living free as a redneck is what the world needs to be!
Squeek: And their ain’t no way you are knocking out the beast!
Murdoch: And the only one that gets to knock that bitch out is me!
Night of the Immortals you say? We’ll get ready for it to Night of the Rednecks! Because we’re taking over and eradicating every single one of you motherfuckers
Because we’re The Fucking Rednecks!
Squeek: Boss, what did we do last night?
Murdoch spits out before the blood shot eyes and bruising from a fight are seen. His hair is standing up on end along with the beast looking around at the carnage that has been created by their ways from the night before.
Murdoch: Is this all we did? Pfft this is baby shit compared to how we’ve left some places.
Squeek tries to pull the beast up, but Murdoch is so big that he can’t do it. The beast eventually gets on to his knees and rubs his face as he tries to be as normal as he can be.
Murdoch: Well I’m hungry , who’s for some vodka and meat?
Squeek nods but raises his finger.
Squeek: Emm as much as we love our breakfast of vodka and meat, shouldn’t we clean up the place before we’re supposed to emm what’s the word….train?
Murdoch smiles before headbutting Squeek in the nose, causing the little one to bleed.
Murdoch: Why on earth would I do such a thing you little faggot? IT’S NOT EVEN OUR HOUSE!
Squeek: Wait…this isn’t ours?
Murdoch: No you mongatron! We have never owned a house before! How much did you fucking drink you retard!!! We broke in as we started a party and raided their cupboards? Shit we need to go before the cops get here! But first a little case of taking a massive shit.
Murdoch goes to the bathroom before the sound of a meow can be heard. Squeek pulls away trash and broken pieces of the sound system they destroyed last night before his eyes widen open as he sees a ginger female cat.
Squeek: Aww aren’t you a cutey!
But what Squeek didn’t realise is that the cat is in heat and continues to headbutt Squeek for affection along with wrapping itself around his legs. She continually meows loud as he puts her hind legs up which starts to annoy Murdoch and confuse Squeek.
Squeek: What’s wrong with you little one? You hungry? Thirsty?
Murdoch (distant from bathroom): SQUEEK SHUT THAT FUCKING ANIMAL UP! I’M TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT IN PEACE!
Squeek pets the animal and picks her up to hug into her.
Squeek: Oh stop meowing. It’s okay I’ll look after you. I’ll feed you, water you, hug and love you all the time!
The female cat still meows loudly which again makes Murdoch respond angrily to shut the cat up. Squeeks lack of intelligence again points out that he still doesn’t know the cat is in heat as he claws a little bit of his skin and meowing constantly.
Squeek: Oh I know what it is! You’re trying to talk to me! Aww well it’s nice to meet you too! My name is-
Murdoch takes the cat off Squeek and snaps her neck, killing her instantly. He drops her into Squeeks arms to which a shocked Squeeks eyes widen open and start to water. He begins to whine like he is almost about to cry before Murdoch returns, taking the dead cat.
Murdoch: The selfish pricks don’t have any toilet roll, I need something to wipe my shitty ass with.
Squeek looks at his open arms and hands as his lower lip comes out as the whining slowly creeps out of his voice.
----------------------------
After hearing sirens, Murdoch and Squeek are on the streets. With Murdoch stinking of mold and booze, Squeek is more reclusive and being introverted which becomes more clearer with Murdoch as his hangover starts to go away.
Murdoch: Are still ass hurt over that cat bitch tits?
Squeek crosses his arms as his bottom lip comes out again.
Squeek: That animal did nothing to you. Don’t you care about anything in this world apart from yourself!!
Murdoch: Nope.
Murdoch punches a dog next to him tied to a leash unconscious to prove his point.
Squeek: What on earth was that for!!!! The elders told me to keep you under control and that’s wha Imma be doing as of right now!
Murdoch begins to laugh hysterically.
Murdoch: They sent you away with me because they wanted rid of you little turd bitch! You set their church on fire.
Squeek: Wasn’t my fault! I was only wanting to look at the purdy colours you see on a flame! I swear if you make fun of me thirteen more times im am going home!
Murdoch begins to pat Squeeks shoulder.
Murdoch: Oh squeak you have so much to learn….Because if you dare do such a thing to me ill shove your shit back up your asshole and put metal bolts up your dick hole…..followed by beating you into the next stone age! Got it?
Squeek nods in fear.
Murdoch: Good boy. Now let me see….Ah bingo!
Murdoch finds a table that is in the back of a trailer and without any hesitation snaps a leg off it. He then looks around and steals a large bag nearby and puts the table leg in. Squeek tries to talk but Murdoch makes him quiet. He ties the bag up before walking on as normal.
Murdoch: I have however listened to you Squeek about training and you’re right.
Squeek (confused): I am?
Murdoch nods.
Murdoch: Yes you’re right. We shouldn’t be breaking into homes and having parties. We should be investing our money as soon as the cheques start coming! Our own trailer to live and drive in! We can go to shows, maybe gyms, bars, strip clubs and not miss a single thing!
So we can fight train fuck and be drunk all in one day!
Squeek: You really mean it?!
Murdoch: Yes my little Tinkerbelle acquaintance I am. But we need to set out getting a deposit first before we get our first cheque for fighting!
Squeek: Finally we’re getting paid for fighting, must be something you’ve been waiting for years to be paid for doing!
The two walk into a bank which is full of customers.
Murdoch: Yes it is Squeek….And now here is to our future. Because the fucking rednecks future is now!
Murdoch raises the bagged table leg in the air in the bank.
Murdoch: EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND OR I’LL FUCKING SHOOT!
…………………………………..
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!
Gentlemen….That was a fart.
A big greasy wet fart that nearly shat my pants.
A gas of faeces.
Why am I describing my fart? It is because that it what the Olympians are. A big gassy fart that appears to dominate the aroma in the air, but in reality is just a fart that is swept away in the wind.
Squeek: Don’t forget the gayness with them too boss.
Murdoch: I’M TRYING TO BE POETIC HERE SQUEEK!
Squeek: Sorry…
Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted by my retarded colleague who doesn’t know how to spell cat. We are going to make history. It’s true. I mean who would have thought a couple of rednecks with their greasy hair, unwashed bodies, smell of shit and liquor and downright rotten to the bone would come into a professional company and turn the tables? Because come Night of the Immortals we’ll be doing the giving and you’ll be the ones taking it deep!
And it will be very painful!
But you know what bugs me Squeek about these two jokers? It’s one big fat gimmick to them.
(sarcastically)Oh look at me, I’m like one of the greek gods and titans with my big biceps and six pack. Please suck our dicks because it will be the closest thing to sucking a gods dick you’ll ever taste!
Ha Ha ha….I bet you taste like a grandmother who hasn’t had it in a decade. Nothing but dust and dryness!
See as much of a bunch of filthy animals we are. We’re legitimate, we’re ourselves and we don’t need a gimmick to stop us doing whatever the fuck we want. We drink, we fuck hookers, we fuck shit up and we fight! We fight until the bones in our knuckles have eroded. We fight no matter how many scars stain our bodies for a lifetime. And we sure as hell keep fighting even when the last drop of blood is shed.
You cannot prepare for opponents like us. We’re dumb, love our guns and our fists. That is close to being the deadliest people in these wonderful tooting United States!
Instead of being in photo shoots , I’m shooting people for pissing me off. Instead of being on twitter, whatever the fuck that is, I’m in bars looking for a fight with my shitty ass hanging out like 50 pounds of crack, heck I should be arrested for that HA!
We don’t do what the system wants us to do, but you do Titan and Kronus, what a bunch of fucking shitty names. I mean
Titan and Kronus? Fuck me sounds like you’re in gay porn once a week with fisting males assholes and putting your tongues up your own dick holes.
But as you see over the nature of time you two gay cowboys will soon realise….The system always needs changed and does change. And that comes with us! The fucking rednecks!
We will become the first men in IWF history to win belts on our debuts and pay per view debuts!
We will become the first men to end the so called shit streak of the Olympians, note to self the streak in my underwear is richer and better than your streak.
You won’t know how to cope with us. No one does. And when that little bitty piece of shit treacles down your leg when you see how much of a psychotic and lunatic bunch of men we are…Well it’s game, set and match!
Regardless of whatever little technical ability you have, and you could turn us into pretzels if you want! You can use all of your Olympic strength to cave our skulls in. Heck part of my skull is already caved the fuck in. Our lives have been to take pain, as much as you can….And like a rattlesnake wait for your prey…And give it the fuck back!
That leg lariat for your Olympian slam ain’t gonna knock me out boy. While the beatings we will give you will make you look like you’re having a female period every week.
….
Oh and speaking of female periods, we’ll be happy to double team your girl manager there too. She’s hot as fuck! And plus she’ll want to screw real men with no gimmicks needed.
Squeek: You’s are gonna get fucked up real soon he he he!
Murdoch: Yes Squeek, yes they are. I can’t wait to get my gingivitis teeth on that gold and show the whole world that living free as a redneck is what the world needs to be!
Squeek: And their ain’t no way you are knocking out the beast!
Murdoch: And the only one that gets to knock that bitch out is me!
Night of the Immortals you say? We’ll get ready for it to Night of the Rednecks! Because we’re taking over and eradicating every single one of you motherfuckers
Because we’re The Fucking Rednecks!
Well howdy there pardner.