Post by Alexis Caffrey on Jun 1, 2015 16:24:04 GMT
I’m supposed to be the happiest girl on the planet. This is my first real, fair shot at the Diamonds title since I faced Eternity one on one at last year’s Bloody Assizes. This is a match I earned by winning the Iron Maiden, just one more instance in which case I’ve shown that my game has been raised to another level in the Diamonds Division.
For you information, I will be telling you what’s going on as apparently, Mike and I…are through. I’m sitting there, on a bench, my head hung about as low as possible. Tears are flowing down my face as I continue to cry over all that has been lost. I look up, mascara running down my face which possesses a look that could make the most cold of hearts melt.
THEN WHY DO I FEEL LIKE ABSOLUTE CRAP!?
WHY IS MY LIFE CRUMBLING BEFORE MY VERY EYES IN SPITE OF THIS GLORIOUS ACCOMPLISHMENT!?
WHYYYYYYYYY!?
My head burrows down into the palms of my hands. The sorrow coursed through my veins like water rushing through a raging river. I was overcome by the emotion, the sadness, the anger, the confusion. Each battled for a space in my heart and another in my head to the point of me not being able to even think about the match at hand.
Things were going great. Mike had won the title, we were at the top of the world. Our love was never more evident than it was at that time. It was warm, touching, and all kinds of good. Then, in the snap of a finger…
I snapped my fingers together.
It was all gone. No more title reign, no more love, no more caring. He was consumed by his greed. He showed that he loved success more than he loved me.
I looked up, sucking up my last ounces of strength as I glared through my water logged eyes.
He thinks I’m nothing without him. I’m sure each and every one of you thinks I’m nothing without him.
I was letting anger get the best of me. I could feel my body heating up as I tilted my head to the side with an almost evil glare.
Well, I’ll show each and every single one of you EXACTLY what I can do on my own. Today, you’re not Ana Banana because the time for games is over. You’re Ana Valentine, the Diamonds Champion, the final obstacle in my way to finally proving to the world that I am every bit as good as I’ve shown since the beginning of this year. You’re the last hurdle to showing the world that Alexis Caffrey isn’t a mere shadow of a man she once loved, a man who once loved her, but is her own woman, standing tall in your face, ready to knock you down off the pedestal of which you sit.
I reach up with my fingers and wipe the tears away, clear my skin of the black lines the trails of tears left.
The so-called “Golden Couple” will be no more. We’re sick of hearing about it, sick of watching you run roughshod over the company like you own something. It’s time to bring you down to Earth Ana. It’s time to show you that your dominant time in this division, heck, in this company has come and gone, and it’s time for a new woman to be the face of the Diamonds Division and that woman is ME!
*********************
“Broken”
I took off. I through his ring back at him and took off. I couldn’t handle what he had become. He was mean, cruel, he was a monster. I thought I could help him, I needed to help him, not just for himself, but for us. I needed to make us survive. It was one more trial, one more tribulation…but I guess it was just too much to overcome this time around. I guess our love just wasn’t strong enough for the multitude of obstacles that came rushing our way all at once.
He called me names, and yes they hurt, but not enough to throw it all away.
Then he uttered the words, the words that made me think it was indeed all over, and in the end, was the dagger in my stomach that made me give it all up. It was the burning sensation that let me know the end was near. I ripped that ring from my finger with fear in my eyes and I threw it at him.
IT WAS OVER!
All the hard work, all the sacrifice, all the late nights of helping him with his wounds, and easing his sorrows and it was all for nothing. I wasted my time…and yet…
I still wanted him back more than anything in this world. My heart still beat a little slower when he was around. I still wanted to go back, apologize, pick that ring up and kiss him…because that’s what true love is…never willing to let go.
I stopped in my tracks, nobody was around. I fell to my knees and let the tears rush out of my eyes. I looked up and saw all the things around, rage started to fuel my actions as I lashed out with a primal scream and swiped all of the items off the catering table. I threw trays, I thrashed platters, and the water bottles were clotheslined from their neatly arranged position. I continued to scream as I grabbed the side of the table and flipped it over. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me. What had I done wrong for all of this to come crashing down on me?
WHYYYYYYY!?
I continued to sob as a stagehand walked up on me and saw me in distress as I leaned on a production crate in the hall. I was breathing heavy as she wrapped her arm around me.
What’s wrong Alexis?
I didn’t want anyone around me, least of all some random stage worker who couldn’t comprehend what I was going through. I lashed out again, spinning out of her grasp before slapping her across the face.
LEAVE…ME…ALONE!
I was enraged. I looked like a rabid dog who had its food taken away. I was glaring at this particular stage worker with the wrath of God in my eyes and she looked on scared as she held her cheek before heading off in the other direction. I grabbed anything I could and just started hurling it in another direction before coming back down to my knees and sobbing uncontrollably as the scene fades.
*********************
The camera catches up with me in the wreck that I caused near catering. I glared up.
Despite all of this, all the happenings in my life, I will prove to the world that I am not the fluke that everyone thinks I am. I don’t just show up out of nowhere and put on a show for people. I get in that ring and climb through those ropes to show that I can go toe to toe with anyone else who steps foot on that canvas. This isn’t a little side fling for me…this is my life.
I slowly stand from my slouched position.
This is everything that I’ve worked for since the age of twelve. This is what I’ve yearned for since I first set my eyes on a television set with two guys going at it to show who the better person was. I worked my ass off to get where I am and for anyone to think me weak just based on what you’ve seen on television is the most wrong of perceptions. To think that I can’t handle the burdens of everyday life here in this business is beyond insane.
I drag my hands through my hair, pulling it tight to my head as my insecurities seem to be getting the better of me.
Despite all the pressures, all the obstacles, all the deterrents in my life, I’ve overcome each and every one of them, and at Night of the Immortals it will be no different. You see Ana, I don’t know exactly what your perception is of me. At times you seem to be a condescending bitch, and at other times you seem like there might be some glimmer of caring despite your cold, ruthless persona. Let me tell you though, exactly what I think of you.
You’re do care.
Despite the cold harsh words, you want this division to thrive, and you know that for that to happen, there needs to be more than just Ana Valentine and on occasion, when she decides to show up, Amber Richards. You know that it can’t be the same back and forth that’s it has been for the last year plus. No matter how many sprinkles you add, how many stipulations, it just gets tedious and boring after a while.
I wrap my arms around one another and rub them up and down to send any shivers of rage, and the cold air of the arena away.
I respect you as champion. I’m not oblivious to what that means. You have it and you want to keep it no matter how you do so. You want to keep the fame and the fortune no matter how challenging it gets, and for you to do so for one hundred plus days is astounding and to be honest, makes me admire you. I appreciate the tenacity, the guts, and the bravery to hold that burden for as long as you have.
I point to myself.
I have the same guts, the same desire, the same tenacity, the same fight that you possess Ana. You’ve seen it firsthand, you know better. I will be bringing all of that and then some to our match at Night of the Immortals. I will prove beyond a shadow of any doubt…held by you and anyone else, not myself, that I can take that title from you, hold that burden, and rather than shy away from the pressure, thrive in it.
I finally get to my senses as I seem a bit more stable emotionally than I was mere moments earlier.
Ana, I’m different from most other people, I don’t shy away from that. My message to the world is that you don’t have to be the glitzy, ditzy hot chick with designer handbags and stiletto heels in sparkly dresses to impress in this world. You can be the girl next door who just happens to look cute, lace up some Chucks and go about your business. To be different, in my eyes, is impressive because you’re able to show off your individuality, your uniqueness whereas others merely fit in, or try to, a mold presented to them by society. Another place where I’m different Ana, is in the face of adversity. Where others wilt away, wither away and die, I thrive. Adversity is my friend because we’ve known each other for quite some time.
Adversity taught me to go after what I want in life.
Adversity drove me to school.
Adversity lead me to the IWF.
Adversity is what set me up to succeed in this business.
Adversity is what will fuel me, push me to the biggest win of my career Ana. At Night of the Immortals, there will be no doubt in my mind, there will only be confidence, confidence that I will walk out the Diamonds Champion, confidence that I will show the world just who Alexis Caffrey…truly is.
Despite all of the emotions I’ve gone through, the thought of holding that title is the one that now cascades through my head. A small smile creeps on my face as the scene fades into oblivion.
For you information, I will be telling you what’s going on as apparently, Mike and I…are through. I’m sitting there, on a bench, my head hung about as low as possible. Tears are flowing down my face as I continue to cry over all that has been lost. I look up, mascara running down my face which possesses a look that could make the most cold of hearts melt.
THEN WHY DO I FEEL LIKE ABSOLUTE CRAP!?
WHY IS MY LIFE CRUMBLING BEFORE MY VERY EYES IN SPITE OF THIS GLORIOUS ACCOMPLISHMENT!?
WHYYYYYYYYY!?
My head burrows down into the palms of my hands. The sorrow coursed through my veins like water rushing through a raging river. I was overcome by the emotion, the sadness, the anger, the confusion. Each battled for a space in my heart and another in my head to the point of me not being able to even think about the match at hand.
Things were going great. Mike had won the title, we were at the top of the world. Our love was never more evident than it was at that time. It was warm, touching, and all kinds of good. Then, in the snap of a finger…
I snapped my fingers together.
It was all gone. No more title reign, no more love, no more caring. He was consumed by his greed. He showed that he loved success more than he loved me.
I looked up, sucking up my last ounces of strength as I glared through my water logged eyes.
He thinks I’m nothing without him. I’m sure each and every one of you thinks I’m nothing without him.
I was letting anger get the best of me. I could feel my body heating up as I tilted my head to the side with an almost evil glare.
Well, I’ll show each and every single one of you EXACTLY what I can do on my own. Today, you’re not Ana Banana because the time for games is over. You’re Ana Valentine, the Diamonds Champion, the final obstacle in my way to finally proving to the world that I am every bit as good as I’ve shown since the beginning of this year. You’re the last hurdle to showing the world that Alexis Caffrey isn’t a mere shadow of a man she once loved, a man who once loved her, but is her own woman, standing tall in your face, ready to knock you down off the pedestal of which you sit.
I reach up with my fingers and wipe the tears away, clear my skin of the black lines the trails of tears left.
The so-called “Golden Couple” will be no more. We’re sick of hearing about it, sick of watching you run roughshod over the company like you own something. It’s time to bring you down to Earth Ana. It’s time to show you that your dominant time in this division, heck, in this company has come and gone, and it’s time for a new woman to be the face of the Diamonds Division and that woman is ME!
*********************
“Broken”
I took off. I through his ring back at him and took off. I couldn’t handle what he had become. He was mean, cruel, he was a monster. I thought I could help him, I needed to help him, not just for himself, but for us. I needed to make us survive. It was one more trial, one more tribulation…but I guess it was just too much to overcome this time around. I guess our love just wasn’t strong enough for the multitude of obstacles that came rushing our way all at once.
He called me names, and yes they hurt, but not enough to throw it all away.
Then he uttered the words, the words that made me think it was indeed all over, and in the end, was the dagger in my stomach that made me give it all up. It was the burning sensation that let me know the end was near. I ripped that ring from my finger with fear in my eyes and I threw it at him.
IT WAS OVER!
All the hard work, all the sacrifice, all the late nights of helping him with his wounds, and easing his sorrows and it was all for nothing. I wasted my time…and yet…
I still wanted him back more than anything in this world. My heart still beat a little slower when he was around. I still wanted to go back, apologize, pick that ring up and kiss him…because that’s what true love is…never willing to let go.
I stopped in my tracks, nobody was around. I fell to my knees and let the tears rush out of my eyes. I looked up and saw all the things around, rage started to fuel my actions as I lashed out with a primal scream and swiped all of the items off the catering table. I threw trays, I thrashed platters, and the water bottles were clotheslined from their neatly arranged position. I continued to scream as I grabbed the side of the table and flipped it over. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me. What had I done wrong for all of this to come crashing down on me?
WHYYYYYYY!?
I continued to sob as a stagehand walked up on me and saw me in distress as I leaned on a production crate in the hall. I was breathing heavy as she wrapped her arm around me.
What’s wrong Alexis?
I didn’t want anyone around me, least of all some random stage worker who couldn’t comprehend what I was going through. I lashed out again, spinning out of her grasp before slapping her across the face.
LEAVE…ME…ALONE!
I was enraged. I looked like a rabid dog who had its food taken away. I was glaring at this particular stage worker with the wrath of God in my eyes and she looked on scared as she held her cheek before heading off in the other direction. I grabbed anything I could and just started hurling it in another direction before coming back down to my knees and sobbing uncontrollably as the scene fades.
*********************
The camera catches up with me in the wreck that I caused near catering. I glared up.
Despite all of this, all the happenings in my life, I will prove to the world that I am not the fluke that everyone thinks I am. I don’t just show up out of nowhere and put on a show for people. I get in that ring and climb through those ropes to show that I can go toe to toe with anyone else who steps foot on that canvas. This isn’t a little side fling for me…this is my life.
I slowly stand from my slouched position.
This is everything that I’ve worked for since the age of twelve. This is what I’ve yearned for since I first set my eyes on a television set with two guys going at it to show who the better person was. I worked my ass off to get where I am and for anyone to think me weak just based on what you’ve seen on television is the most wrong of perceptions. To think that I can’t handle the burdens of everyday life here in this business is beyond insane.
I drag my hands through my hair, pulling it tight to my head as my insecurities seem to be getting the better of me.
Despite all the pressures, all the obstacles, all the deterrents in my life, I’ve overcome each and every one of them, and at Night of the Immortals it will be no different. You see Ana, I don’t know exactly what your perception is of me. At times you seem to be a condescending bitch, and at other times you seem like there might be some glimmer of caring despite your cold, ruthless persona. Let me tell you though, exactly what I think of you.
You’re do care.
Despite the cold harsh words, you want this division to thrive, and you know that for that to happen, there needs to be more than just Ana Valentine and on occasion, when she decides to show up, Amber Richards. You know that it can’t be the same back and forth that’s it has been for the last year plus. No matter how many sprinkles you add, how many stipulations, it just gets tedious and boring after a while.
I wrap my arms around one another and rub them up and down to send any shivers of rage, and the cold air of the arena away.
I respect you as champion. I’m not oblivious to what that means. You have it and you want to keep it no matter how you do so. You want to keep the fame and the fortune no matter how challenging it gets, and for you to do so for one hundred plus days is astounding and to be honest, makes me admire you. I appreciate the tenacity, the guts, and the bravery to hold that burden for as long as you have.
I point to myself.
I have the same guts, the same desire, the same tenacity, the same fight that you possess Ana. You’ve seen it firsthand, you know better. I will be bringing all of that and then some to our match at Night of the Immortals. I will prove beyond a shadow of any doubt…held by you and anyone else, not myself, that I can take that title from you, hold that burden, and rather than shy away from the pressure, thrive in it.
I finally get to my senses as I seem a bit more stable emotionally than I was mere moments earlier.
Ana, I’m different from most other people, I don’t shy away from that. My message to the world is that you don’t have to be the glitzy, ditzy hot chick with designer handbags and stiletto heels in sparkly dresses to impress in this world. You can be the girl next door who just happens to look cute, lace up some Chucks and go about your business. To be different, in my eyes, is impressive because you’re able to show off your individuality, your uniqueness whereas others merely fit in, or try to, a mold presented to them by society. Another place where I’m different Ana, is in the face of adversity. Where others wilt away, wither away and die, I thrive. Adversity is my friend because we’ve known each other for quite some time.
Adversity taught me to go after what I want in life.
Adversity drove me to school.
Adversity lead me to the IWF.
Adversity is what set me up to succeed in this business.
Adversity is what will fuel me, push me to the biggest win of my career Ana. At Night of the Immortals, there will be no doubt in my mind, there will only be confidence, confidence that I will walk out the Diamonds Champion, confidence that I will show the world just who Alexis Caffrey…truly is.
Despite all of the emotions I’ve gone through, the thought of holding that title is the one that now cascades through my head. A small smile creeps on my face as the scene fades into oblivion.