Post by Angel Blake on Jul 13, 2015 17:39:30 GMT
It has been months since Angel Blake last saw the inside of a wrestling ring. His life was in shatters, as it always seemed to be. Tara Fenix, his one constant in his many dark years had absconded with their family, their home and all of Angel’s worldly possessions…
He was broken, mentally and spiritually. He’d lived a dark life, a hard life, mostly by choice. Self destructing at every turn, at every opportunity, souring every loving friendship and love he had ever known…
Spike Kane took the brunt of his pain…
For years Angel had imagined what it would be like to finally beat Spike senseless enough to pin him for three seconds and he had accomplished that. For once in his three decades of existence he felt a sense of completion, wholeness, there was nothing left for him to accomplish in a professional wrestling ring…
But he was still alone, his family gone, nothing but an empty studio apartment to go home too and a bottle of whiskey…
He’d clutched that whiskey bottle for many nights, his only friend as he tried to drown out the pain and heartache, hoping the amber liquid would work it’s magic and free him from the regret of living for as long as he had…
When the whiskey wasn’t enough he toyed with the idea of taking his own but every time the cold steel pale touched pale moist flesh he thought of the look on his daughter’s face when she would say her final goodbyes, knowing that in one selfish moment of weakness he would create in her the hatred he still felt for his own father…
It was on the other side of such a moment of weakness that he found himself in a room full of other equally beaten and vulnerable men a women. Lost souls who had it all taken from them and found momentary solace in the bottom of a bottle or glass or perhaps off a counter top or mirror, some even going so far as to inject themselves with happiness just to escape the misery…
He lost himself in these meetings, these gatherings, pouring himself out in a way he had never done before, exposing himself for the first time for the monster he was. Expressing the joy he felt as he caused pain, the feeling of satisfaction as he ruined lives, admitting for the first time that the character people knew from television was no different than the man sitting before them in the rooms…
Angel Blake was no longer a God…
Just a broken man with demons…
It was in those hallowed halls that a voice called out to him in the darkness. At first he resisted, pushed the voice away, chose to continue wallowing in his own despair but the voice was insistent, it kept pushing and pushing until he had no choice but to listen…
”You aren’t alone, Angel.”
Those were the first words he’d really heard in a long time.
”You aren’t alone.”
When his ears opened so did his eyes and the calming effect he felt when he looked into her dark green eyes was almost instant. It was as if the world had suddenly opened up to him, the dark cloud that had always followed him parted open for the sun and for the first time he could feel the warmth around him…
”You’re a good man, Angel, even if you don’t believe it.”
”But the things I’ve done-“
”Are in the past. It’s all about how you live today, who you chose to be today.”
It was so simple yet so complicated. She took his hand in hers and pulled him from the pit of despair he has been living in, shielding himself in so no one could ever hurt him the way he hurt others…
”You just have to take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself.”
He’d only know her a short time, days but there was something about, something about her presence that quieted his busy mind and calmed his tortured soul. He tried to fight the feelings welling up inside of him, he tried to remind himself of all those who came before, Shelly, Tara, Ana…
He’d said I love you so many times that the words just kind of died in his mouth…
But when her lips met his on that rainy June evening in Connecticut he knew…
”I love you…”
He knew that she was different…
”I know this is crazy but… I love you too…”
He felt himself melt into her arms in the darkness of his apartment, the rain seemed to stop if only for a moment as she held him tight, as he held her tight, each of them keeping the other from leaving as if that were even an option…
”Maxx?”
She looked down into his dark brown eyes, noting silently to herself that for the first time since they met his eyes appeared brighter and full of life…
”Angel.”
He brushed her short blond hair behind her ear, his fingers dancing along her cheek and down to her jaw bone, she smiled as the shivers ran down her spine…
”I want to leave this place… Tonight…”
”Where do you want to go?”
He smiled at her…
”Anywhere. Everywhere. As long as it’s with you.”
She expected doubt, fear, she expected to second guess his every word because it should sound crazy but she didn’t… Couldn’t… All she could do was whisper…
”Let’s go.”
It happened so quickly he hardly had time to think. What little he had was packed and safely tucked away in the trunk of his 1967 Cehvy Impala. Maxx sat in her short blue one piece dress on the black leather seat, legs crossed with a smile as wide as the Grand Canyon on her face…
”Angel, what about your daughter?”
He almost laughed, in fact he did and Maxx stared at him awkwardly as Angel slowly turned to look over his left shoulder where Shelly now stood with their nine year old daughter, Hayleigh, the spitting image of her father...
He dropped to one knee as she came running across the pavement at him and leapt into his arms. He spun her around in a circle as she laughed and giggled before putting her securely in the back seat…
”She’s coming with us.”
”Good.”
He knew she meant it, Maxx had never been anything but sincere with him…
He looked back once more at the life that was, at Shelly and all the broken promises and lies then back to Maxx…
”It’s time to move on.”
Without another word he dropped himself into the car and starting the engine. He felt the roar of the big block as it reverberated through the steering linkage and into the leather bound wheel in his hands…
This was it…
This was how the story of Savior X…
The story of God…
This was how it ended…
And how the story of Angel Blake begins…
We can get better.
He was broken, mentally and spiritually. He’d lived a dark life, a hard life, mostly by choice. Self destructing at every turn, at every opportunity, souring every loving friendship and love he had ever known…
Spike Kane took the brunt of his pain…
For years Angel had imagined what it would be like to finally beat Spike senseless enough to pin him for three seconds and he had accomplished that. For once in his three decades of existence he felt a sense of completion, wholeness, there was nothing left for him to accomplish in a professional wrestling ring…
But he was still alone, his family gone, nothing but an empty studio apartment to go home too and a bottle of whiskey…
He’d clutched that whiskey bottle for many nights, his only friend as he tried to drown out the pain and heartache, hoping the amber liquid would work it’s magic and free him from the regret of living for as long as he had…
When the whiskey wasn’t enough he toyed with the idea of taking his own but every time the cold steel pale touched pale moist flesh he thought of the look on his daughter’s face when she would say her final goodbyes, knowing that in one selfish moment of weakness he would create in her the hatred he still felt for his own father…
It was on the other side of such a moment of weakness that he found himself in a room full of other equally beaten and vulnerable men a women. Lost souls who had it all taken from them and found momentary solace in the bottom of a bottle or glass or perhaps off a counter top or mirror, some even going so far as to inject themselves with happiness just to escape the misery…
He lost himself in these meetings, these gatherings, pouring himself out in a way he had never done before, exposing himself for the first time for the monster he was. Expressing the joy he felt as he caused pain, the feeling of satisfaction as he ruined lives, admitting for the first time that the character people knew from television was no different than the man sitting before them in the rooms…
Angel Blake was no longer a God…
Just a broken man with demons…
It was in those hallowed halls that a voice called out to him in the darkness. At first he resisted, pushed the voice away, chose to continue wallowing in his own despair but the voice was insistent, it kept pushing and pushing until he had no choice but to listen…
”You aren’t alone, Angel.”
Those were the first words he’d really heard in a long time.
”You aren’t alone.”
When his ears opened so did his eyes and the calming effect he felt when he looked into her dark green eyes was almost instant. It was as if the world had suddenly opened up to him, the dark cloud that had always followed him parted open for the sun and for the first time he could feel the warmth around him…
”You’re a good man, Angel, even if you don’t believe it.”
”But the things I’ve done-“
”Are in the past. It’s all about how you live today, who you chose to be today.”
It was so simple yet so complicated. She took his hand in hers and pulled him from the pit of despair he has been living in, shielding himself in so no one could ever hurt him the way he hurt others…
”You just have to take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself.”
He’d only know her a short time, days but there was something about, something about her presence that quieted his busy mind and calmed his tortured soul. He tried to fight the feelings welling up inside of him, he tried to remind himself of all those who came before, Shelly, Tara, Ana…
He’d said I love you so many times that the words just kind of died in his mouth…
But when her lips met his on that rainy June evening in Connecticut he knew…
”I love you…”
He knew that she was different…
”I know this is crazy but… I love you too…”
He felt himself melt into her arms in the darkness of his apartment, the rain seemed to stop if only for a moment as she held him tight, as he held her tight, each of them keeping the other from leaving as if that were even an option…
”Maxx?”
She looked down into his dark brown eyes, noting silently to herself that for the first time since they met his eyes appeared brighter and full of life…
”Angel.”
He brushed her short blond hair behind her ear, his fingers dancing along her cheek and down to her jaw bone, she smiled as the shivers ran down her spine…
”I want to leave this place… Tonight…”
”Where do you want to go?”
He smiled at her…
”Anywhere. Everywhere. As long as it’s with you.”
She expected doubt, fear, she expected to second guess his every word because it should sound crazy but she didn’t… Couldn’t… All she could do was whisper…
”Let’s go.”
It happened so quickly he hardly had time to think. What little he had was packed and safely tucked away in the trunk of his 1967 Cehvy Impala. Maxx sat in her short blue one piece dress on the black leather seat, legs crossed with a smile as wide as the Grand Canyon on her face…
”Angel, what about your daughter?”
He almost laughed, in fact he did and Maxx stared at him awkwardly as Angel slowly turned to look over his left shoulder where Shelly now stood with their nine year old daughter, Hayleigh, the spitting image of her father...
He dropped to one knee as she came running across the pavement at him and leapt into his arms. He spun her around in a circle as she laughed and giggled before putting her securely in the back seat…
”She’s coming with us.”
”Good.”
He knew she meant it, Maxx had never been anything but sincere with him…
He looked back once more at the life that was, at Shelly and all the broken promises and lies then back to Maxx…
”It’s time to move on.”
Without another word he dropped himself into the car and starting the engine. He felt the roar of the big block as it reverberated through the steering linkage and into the leather bound wheel in his hands…
This was it…
This was how the story of Savior X…
The story of God…
This was how it ended…
And how the story of Angel Blake begins…
We can get better.