Post by Alexis Caffrey on Aug 30, 2015 16:10:20 GMT
There’s times in a girl’s life where everything just seems perfect.
As the camera pans into the scene you see Alexis, sitting with her legs crossed on the floor, a single spotlight appearing above her, it’s single beam focused over her as she gentle rocks back and forth with the Diamonds Title in her lap.
The first time I felt that way is when I got my chance to shine in the IWF. It was the moment I signed my name to a little piece of paper that says I am indeed an IWF DIAMOND.
After that there were ups…
She leans back.
…and downs.
She leans forward and repeats the process with each word.
And more ups and downs.
She stops the rocking and slightly raises her head, her brown eyes rolling upward until she’s looking right into the camera’s lens.
Then a girl who had lost her way…got back on track. The world went from a deep dark hole to a brighter, happier place.
The spotlight turned off as the rest of the lights in the room came on. Alexis wasn’t in a room by herself, she was sitting on the stage of an auditorium. She swings her legs out from under her and dangles them over the stage.
Earlier this year, in its first month, I vowed and I told the world that I was going to be more focused than ever. I informed you all that I was going to be strongerfasterandbetterthaneverbefore!
But did you listen?
Did you say go for it?
NO!
For months on end I had to listen to the likes of Mercedes and Amber and Ana and any of the other hateful despised bitches in the back go on and on and on about how I was no good; how I didn’t belong in their stratosphere. They repeated that I would go nowhere and fast, that maybe I could touch the glass ceiling once or twice, but nevereverneverEVER shatter it.
The lights go out and the sound of shattered glass is heard. As the lights comeback on, there are pieces of glass all around Alexis as she holds up the Diamonds Title. A huge smile takes over her face as she turns her head and looks up at the freshly polished title.
And then came this. I won the Iron Maiden.
She turns back to the camera.
That’s right haters, I EARNED my spot into the Diamonds Title match at Night of the Immortals. I took on Diamonds old and new, befitting and not so much and I went through the hells of being inside that chamber and I came out VICTORIOUS!
There’s a slight pause for that dramatic effect that everyone tries so hard to achieve. She brings the belt down into both of her hands and stares at it in all of its golden glory.
Then came Night of the Immortals. Another shot to prove I was everything the world says I wasn’t. It was my big moment to shine brighter than any of the other stars, and when push came to shove, and all of Ana’s bad karma caught up to her, I saw the opportunity to shine, to take my rightful place among those who had come before me; the opportunity to shatter the ceiling, AND I TOOK IT! I dropped Ana like a bad habit. I put her out for a three count. I became DIAMONDS CHAMPION!
She looks around and even picks up a piece of the glass, laughing before chucking it over her shoulder.
I look at each shard of glass and I can’t help but laugh. Each piece represents the opinions of all you non-believers out there. I watch them as they fall beside me, meaningless, just as are your opinions now. You know, the ones that say I’ll lose to Eternity at Legacy; the ones that say my title reign is a fluke and was only a turnabout of unfair tactics yet every single one of you would have done the exact same thing.
She looks down at the belt with a glee in her eye.
I said it last week and I’ll say it again meaning every single freaking word. This belt is mine, it was earned, and it will NEVER leave my hands.
She hugs the title and what once may have seemed like a nervous anticipation, nowadays seems like an unrivaled sense of self-worth, the kind you loathe as she knows now she is championship material, she knows now she’s good enough to take on anyone. It’s no longer a belief she has to instill in herself, but one she sets out to make you all believe.
******************************
”So It Begins”
We got to the hospital and the nurse took my mother in to see the doctor. We sat in the waiting room as she underwent test after test. We were only there for a little bit, but as many of you know, when it’s something like your mother, or family in general, it seems like it takes for hours. We sat there nervously, me with my hands wrapped around my head as if it were about to explode, Mike’s hand cascading up and down my back in an attempt at soothing me, though a failed one.
We waited…
And waited…
And waited…
WAIT…A DOCTOR!
My anticipations were high as he walked towards us…
Only to walk by us. My head sank again as Mike tried to reassure me.
I’m sure it’s nothing. They’re just making sure they look at everything.
My hands dropped as I turned my head, my tired eyes gazing into his.
I hope you’re right.
I leaned over the arm of my chair into his chest. I yearned for comfort, some form of safety, some sort of caring and he supplied it all. We waited and my eyes started to clothes at the nervous exhaustion that had overcome my being when a doctor walked up to us.
Mr. and Mrs. Laszlo?
I jumped out of my seat at the mention of my name.
What? What’s wrong!?
He held his hands out as a way to relax things. It didn’t work. My heart was pounding out of my chest, probably noticeable to the walkers by. He could see the fear in my eyes. I wanted to scream at him “TELL ME!” but I was able to keep it in just long enough for him to actually do just that.
Well, the reason your mother looked to frail is the fact that she’s really not been eating. The lack of nutrition attributes to the weakness and paleness she’s been experiencing.
What’s been keeping her in bed, which I’m sure is what’s been keeping her from eating.
Well…
I waited for his next words as he sighed. I knew it wasn’t good and I slowly backed up and sat back down.
We found a lump under her right breast.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. The sound of his words was becoming slow and jumbled in my head. I couldn’t decipher them. Through the tears in my eyes I looked at Mike who was absorbing what it is the doctor had to say. He had been through this, though he was younger. He knew what this could entail. He listened as I kind of just backed away from the entire world if only for a few moment as he explained it all.
We biopsied the mass and have to do another test to determine exactly what it is. It’s small and there’s a chance that if it is anything serious, we can deal with it as it appears to be at an early stage. It’s most likely curable as long as we catch it now. It’s a good thing you brought her in here today.
I didn’t get a damn thing he was saying. All I heard is my mother has a mass and could be really sick. Mike thanked the doctor as he went back to do further tests. Mike looked over at me and saw the absolute state of shock I was in. He knew how I was, and if he didn’t do something quick, he’d lose me for some time. He kneeled down in front of me on both knees and took my hands.
Hey…hey…look at me.
I didn’t pay attention to him, or anyone else for that matter. I could feel myself shutting down again.
Alexis…honey…sweetheart…
He grabbed my shoulders and shook me a bit, before he finally leaned in and kissed me in the middle of the waiting room. People stared I’m sure, but it didn’t matter. I felt his love and compassion as they traveled through his lips to mine. I kissed him back and slowly leaned forward as he started to pull away. I wanted more…I didn’t want it to end. I was snapped into reality and as he pulled away, my eyes gazed upon his, and I could tell his were looking right back into mine.
You with me?
I slowly nodded my head.
Good. Stay here. I need you to fight this fear you have. Things are different now than they were back then. My family didn’t have the means or the resources to fight this. The doctors know so much more today than they did then to fight this.
I was understanding his words and yet they were still passing through my head in one ear and out the other. I couldn’t think straight and I wanted to know everything now. It’s the same instant gratification a gambler wants when he hits the stupid button. I want to know how to fight this for my mother, almost as if it were an opponent, an actual person whose ass I want to kick. I know it’s not that way, it isn’t how things work…but it’s what I want.
We waited longer. I couldn’t leave my mother alone in a hospital. We waited for what seemed like years, but in the reality of time was only about another hour and a half before the doctor reemerged from behind the double doors. The look on his face pretty much told the story anyway, and though I was prepared for the worst, the look on my face told otherwise.
Unfortunately…
He put his hands on his hips as he stared down at the floor. He then slightly sighed as he picked his head up and stared at me.
It is cancerous.
I felt my heart drop as Mike’s head lowered. He knew we were in for a fight, as did I. The doctor then continued.
The good news is, it’s only in the opening stages, so it is treatable.
The word treatable echoed in my head. It was my ray of light, my one chance.
I stood up from the chair and pleaded with the doctor.
You do WHATEVER it is you need to do. Tell us what we can do. That woman in there is my life and I will do WHATEVER I have to do to keep her in it.
He nodded; a small comforting smile appeared on his face as he could appreciate my enthusiasm and my will in even such a dark hour. He put his hand on my shoulder.
You can join us in the room and listen over all the options I’m going to lay out for your mother on ways to get better. Then you guys can talk about it and make the best decision.
I nodded as Mike stood from his chair. The doctor escorted us back, the scene fading and going to black as the doors closed behind us.
******************************
So what do you wish to get out of this Eternity?
As the scene comes to, you see Alexis with the Diamonds Title slung over her shoulder.
You try to take this trip inside my head like you’ve done over and over and over again. You bring out your smoke, and your creepy little girls in white dresses like this is some old school horror flick and you expect it to rattle me, conflict me, change me into something you can beat.
A smile cracks on her face, not so innocent, more calculated, colder than we’ve seen in the past.
Well I hate to break it to you and your creepy little children, but the fact of the matter is simple…I’m better than that, and I’m better than you. I don’t need the smoke and mirrors; nor do I need the riddles and songs. Besides, all of that is useless and petty. I’ll simply look you in the eyes and tell you that this little head you wish to get into oh so much…isn’t the fun little trip I’ve made it out to be. It’s not all roses and sunshine Eternity, there’s traps and pitfalls of which you can only imagine.
There’s a complexity that needs to be explained, because it’s quite simple that you just don’t get it.
You’re like a fish in a pond, a painted, freaky little fish that someone would throw back out in a heartbeat…just like has been the case your entire life. I’ve baited the hook, I’ve lured you in, and you’ve taken the bait. I’ve reeled you aboard so I can beat you with a stick and take you out of your miserable little life.
An evil little giggle, if that’s even possible, passes her lips.
There’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and there’s not a single mommy or daddy there to save you. You’ll be all alone, just like you’ve been your whole existence. Nobody will want you, nobody will care for you, nobody will want to help you with anything.
You’re a waste of space.
You’re a waste of perfectly good air.
You’re a burden to everyone around you.
You and your mind games like you’re some sort of master technician, when in reality you’re just a scared little girl afraid to face the realisms of the world. You hide behind the paint on your face like camouflage because you know deep down inside that you can’t handle reality. You hide behind the smoke and mirrors because you can’t see yourself as anything more than illusion, a fake portrait of something you believe to be good and wholesome…a mother.
She shutters at the thought of it all.
You’re sick delusions in your head that you and I are ANYTHING alike makes my skin crawl. I’m not your bundle of crazy, and I certainly have absolutely no relation to you in any sense of the word.
Eternity, people call me crazy to get under my skin. They know that I hate hearing that word every single time it is spoken. When they say it to you; when they tell you that you didn’t fall off the deep end, you willingly dove, they mean every single syllable of it. You’re certifiably nuts. You belong in a padded room, buckled in a straitjacket, where you can run and play with all the other mommys and daddys in your head.
She snaps her fingers.
Back to reality. The reality of things is quite simplistic. You want the Diamonds Title that I have. You want to prove all the people right who call my reign a fluke. You don’t care about anyone but yourself, your just too delusional to come right out and say it. You won the Heiress to the Throne, you beat that shell of a woman Amber Richards and proved you’re the better wrestler. I beat that wannabe Goddess Ana Jones and proved to the world that I am the one who deserves this belt.
Now they’re saying you’re my next challenge, that you’re the one who is going to take this from me. “They” paint me as the underdog based on my stature and the fact that you’ve been Diamonds Champion and beaten me before. What they don’t paint me as is a woman of my word, and that’s what the portrait should truly be.
I said I would shock people this year. I told each and every one of you that I’d be champion…
She holds the title in the air.
And I am.
She brings the title back down.
Now I’m telling you that I’m going to shock the world again. I’m telling you to your face that I am going to beat you at Legacy. There will be no controversy, no nothing. I am going to beat you and make you, and all the rest eat their words…again.
So I have said it…so it shall happen.
Because…
I am…THAT GOOD!.
As the camera pans into the scene you see Alexis, sitting with her legs crossed on the floor, a single spotlight appearing above her, it’s single beam focused over her as she gentle rocks back and forth with the Diamonds Title in her lap.
The first time I felt that way is when I got my chance to shine in the IWF. It was the moment I signed my name to a little piece of paper that says I am indeed an IWF DIAMOND.
After that there were ups…
She leans back.
…and downs.
She leans forward and repeats the process with each word.
And more ups and downs.
She stops the rocking and slightly raises her head, her brown eyes rolling upward until she’s looking right into the camera’s lens.
Then a girl who had lost her way…got back on track. The world went from a deep dark hole to a brighter, happier place.
The spotlight turned off as the rest of the lights in the room came on. Alexis wasn’t in a room by herself, she was sitting on the stage of an auditorium. She swings her legs out from under her and dangles them over the stage.
Earlier this year, in its first month, I vowed and I told the world that I was going to be more focused than ever. I informed you all that I was going to be strongerfasterandbetterthaneverbefore!
But did you listen?
Did you say go for it?
NO!
For months on end I had to listen to the likes of Mercedes and Amber and Ana and any of the other hateful despised bitches in the back go on and on and on about how I was no good; how I didn’t belong in their stratosphere. They repeated that I would go nowhere and fast, that maybe I could touch the glass ceiling once or twice, but nevereverneverEVER shatter it.
The lights go out and the sound of shattered glass is heard. As the lights comeback on, there are pieces of glass all around Alexis as she holds up the Diamonds Title. A huge smile takes over her face as she turns her head and looks up at the freshly polished title.
And then came this. I won the Iron Maiden.
She turns back to the camera.
That’s right haters, I EARNED my spot into the Diamonds Title match at Night of the Immortals. I took on Diamonds old and new, befitting and not so much and I went through the hells of being inside that chamber and I came out VICTORIOUS!
There’s a slight pause for that dramatic effect that everyone tries so hard to achieve. She brings the belt down into both of her hands and stares at it in all of its golden glory.
Then came Night of the Immortals. Another shot to prove I was everything the world says I wasn’t. It was my big moment to shine brighter than any of the other stars, and when push came to shove, and all of Ana’s bad karma caught up to her, I saw the opportunity to shine, to take my rightful place among those who had come before me; the opportunity to shatter the ceiling, AND I TOOK IT! I dropped Ana like a bad habit. I put her out for a three count. I became DIAMONDS CHAMPION!
She looks around and even picks up a piece of the glass, laughing before chucking it over her shoulder.
I look at each shard of glass and I can’t help but laugh. Each piece represents the opinions of all you non-believers out there. I watch them as they fall beside me, meaningless, just as are your opinions now. You know, the ones that say I’ll lose to Eternity at Legacy; the ones that say my title reign is a fluke and was only a turnabout of unfair tactics yet every single one of you would have done the exact same thing.
She looks down at the belt with a glee in her eye.
I said it last week and I’ll say it again meaning every single freaking word. This belt is mine, it was earned, and it will NEVER leave my hands.
She hugs the title and what once may have seemed like a nervous anticipation, nowadays seems like an unrivaled sense of self-worth, the kind you loathe as she knows now she is championship material, she knows now she’s good enough to take on anyone. It’s no longer a belief she has to instill in herself, but one she sets out to make you all believe.
******************************
”So It Begins”
We got to the hospital and the nurse took my mother in to see the doctor. We sat in the waiting room as she underwent test after test. We were only there for a little bit, but as many of you know, when it’s something like your mother, or family in general, it seems like it takes for hours. We sat there nervously, me with my hands wrapped around my head as if it were about to explode, Mike’s hand cascading up and down my back in an attempt at soothing me, though a failed one.
We waited…
And waited…
And waited…
WAIT…A DOCTOR!
My anticipations were high as he walked towards us…
Only to walk by us. My head sank again as Mike tried to reassure me.
I’m sure it’s nothing. They’re just making sure they look at everything.
My hands dropped as I turned my head, my tired eyes gazing into his.
I hope you’re right.
I leaned over the arm of my chair into his chest. I yearned for comfort, some form of safety, some sort of caring and he supplied it all. We waited and my eyes started to clothes at the nervous exhaustion that had overcome my being when a doctor walked up to us.
Mr. and Mrs. Laszlo?
I jumped out of my seat at the mention of my name.
What? What’s wrong!?
He held his hands out as a way to relax things. It didn’t work. My heart was pounding out of my chest, probably noticeable to the walkers by. He could see the fear in my eyes. I wanted to scream at him “TELL ME!” but I was able to keep it in just long enough for him to actually do just that.
Well, the reason your mother looked to frail is the fact that she’s really not been eating. The lack of nutrition attributes to the weakness and paleness she’s been experiencing.
What’s been keeping her in bed, which I’m sure is what’s been keeping her from eating.
Well…
I waited for his next words as he sighed. I knew it wasn’t good and I slowly backed up and sat back down.
We found a lump under her right breast.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. The sound of his words was becoming slow and jumbled in my head. I couldn’t decipher them. Through the tears in my eyes I looked at Mike who was absorbing what it is the doctor had to say. He had been through this, though he was younger. He knew what this could entail. He listened as I kind of just backed away from the entire world if only for a few moment as he explained it all.
We biopsied the mass and have to do another test to determine exactly what it is. It’s small and there’s a chance that if it is anything serious, we can deal with it as it appears to be at an early stage. It’s most likely curable as long as we catch it now. It’s a good thing you brought her in here today.
I didn’t get a damn thing he was saying. All I heard is my mother has a mass and could be really sick. Mike thanked the doctor as he went back to do further tests. Mike looked over at me and saw the absolute state of shock I was in. He knew how I was, and if he didn’t do something quick, he’d lose me for some time. He kneeled down in front of me on both knees and took my hands.
Hey…hey…look at me.
I didn’t pay attention to him, or anyone else for that matter. I could feel myself shutting down again.
Alexis…honey…sweetheart…
He grabbed my shoulders and shook me a bit, before he finally leaned in and kissed me in the middle of the waiting room. People stared I’m sure, but it didn’t matter. I felt his love and compassion as they traveled through his lips to mine. I kissed him back and slowly leaned forward as he started to pull away. I wanted more…I didn’t want it to end. I was snapped into reality and as he pulled away, my eyes gazed upon his, and I could tell his were looking right back into mine.
You with me?
I slowly nodded my head.
Good. Stay here. I need you to fight this fear you have. Things are different now than they were back then. My family didn’t have the means or the resources to fight this. The doctors know so much more today than they did then to fight this.
I was understanding his words and yet they were still passing through my head in one ear and out the other. I couldn’t think straight and I wanted to know everything now. It’s the same instant gratification a gambler wants when he hits the stupid button. I want to know how to fight this for my mother, almost as if it were an opponent, an actual person whose ass I want to kick. I know it’s not that way, it isn’t how things work…but it’s what I want.
We waited longer. I couldn’t leave my mother alone in a hospital. We waited for what seemed like years, but in the reality of time was only about another hour and a half before the doctor reemerged from behind the double doors. The look on his face pretty much told the story anyway, and though I was prepared for the worst, the look on my face told otherwise.
Unfortunately…
He put his hands on his hips as he stared down at the floor. He then slightly sighed as he picked his head up and stared at me.
It is cancerous.
I felt my heart drop as Mike’s head lowered. He knew we were in for a fight, as did I. The doctor then continued.
The good news is, it’s only in the opening stages, so it is treatable.
The word treatable echoed in my head. It was my ray of light, my one chance.
I stood up from the chair and pleaded with the doctor.
You do WHATEVER it is you need to do. Tell us what we can do. That woman in there is my life and I will do WHATEVER I have to do to keep her in it.
He nodded; a small comforting smile appeared on his face as he could appreciate my enthusiasm and my will in even such a dark hour. He put his hand on my shoulder.
You can join us in the room and listen over all the options I’m going to lay out for your mother on ways to get better. Then you guys can talk about it and make the best decision.
I nodded as Mike stood from his chair. The doctor escorted us back, the scene fading and going to black as the doors closed behind us.
******************************
So what do you wish to get out of this Eternity?
As the scene comes to, you see Alexis with the Diamonds Title slung over her shoulder.
You try to take this trip inside my head like you’ve done over and over and over again. You bring out your smoke, and your creepy little girls in white dresses like this is some old school horror flick and you expect it to rattle me, conflict me, change me into something you can beat.
A smile cracks on her face, not so innocent, more calculated, colder than we’ve seen in the past.
Well I hate to break it to you and your creepy little children, but the fact of the matter is simple…I’m better than that, and I’m better than you. I don’t need the smoke and mirrors; nor do I need the riddles and songs. Besides, all of that is useless and petty. I’ll simply look you in the eyes and tell you that this little head you wish to get into oh so much…isn’t the fun little trip I’ve made it out to be. It’s not all roses and sunshine Eternity, there’s traps and pitfalls of which you can only imagine.
There’s a complexity that needs to be explained, because it’s quite simple that you just don’t get it.
You’re like a fish in a pond, a painted, freaky little fish that someone would throw back out in a heartbeat…just like has been the case your entire life. I’ve baited the hook, I’ve lured you in, and you’ve taken the bait. I’ve reeled you aboard so I can beat you with a stick and take you out of your miserable little life.
An evil little giggle, if that’s even possible, passes her lips.
There’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and there’s not a single mommy or daddy there to save you. You’ll be all alone, just like you’ve been your whole existence. Nobody will want you, nobody will care for you, nobody will want to help you with anything.
You’re a waste of space.
You’re a waste of perfectly good air.
You’re a burden to everyone around you.
You and your mind games like you’re some sort of master technician, when in reality you’re just a scared little girl afraid to face the realisms of the world. You hide behind the paint on your face like camouflage because you know deep down inside that you can’t handle reality. You hide behind the smoke and mirrors because you can’t see yourself as anything more than illusion, a fake portrait of something you believe to be good and wholesome…a mother.
She shutters at the thought of it all.
You’re sick delusions in your head that you and I are ANYTHING alike makes my skin crawl. I’m not your bundle of crazy, and I certainly have absolutely no relation to you in any sense of the word.
Eternity, people call me crazy to get under my skin. They know that I hate hearing that word every single time it is spoken. When they say it to you; when they tell you that you didn’t fall off the deep end, you willingly dove, they mean every single syllable of it. You’re certifiably nuts. You belong in a padded room, buckled in a straitjacket, where you can run and play with all the other mommys and daddys in your head.
She snaps her fingers.
Back to reality. The reality of things is quite simplistic. You want the Diamonds Title that I have. You want to prove all the people right who call my reign a fluke. You don’t care about anyone but yourself, your just too delusional to come right out and say it. You won the Heiress to the Throne, you beat that shell of a woman Amber Richards and proved you’re the better wrestler. I beat that wannabe Goddess Ana Jones and proved to the world that I am the one who deserves this belt.
Now they’re saying you’re my next challenge, that you’re the one who is going to take this from me. “They” paint me as the underdog based on my stature and the fact that you’ve been Diamonds Champion and beaten me before. What they don’t paint me as is a woman of my word, and that’s what the portrait should truly be.
I said I would shock people this year. I told each and every one of you that I’d be champion…
She holds the title in the air.
And I am.
She brings the title back down.
Now I’m telling you that I’m going to shock the world again. I’m telling you to your face that I am going to beat you at Legacy. There will be no controversy, no nothing. I am going to beat you and make you, and all the rest eat their words…again.
So I have said it…so it shall happen.
Because…
I am…THAT GOOD!.
Well howdy there pardner.