Post by Doc on Jul 5, 2013 15:01:24 GMT
Someone who has committed an act he knows he shouldn't have,
unless a psychopath, feels guilt.. anxiety.. loss of self-esteem.
That's why we have defence mechanisms. After all, I've yet to meet a criminal who can't justify his actions.
unless a psychopath, feels guilt.. anxiety.. loss of self-esteem.
That's why we have defence mechanisms. After all, I've yet to meet a criminal who can't justify his actions.
{Moments after Monday Night Sacrifice comes to a close...}
I hear the stage hand coming round the locker rooms, telling everyone it's time to pack up and hit the road. For some reason, I'm numb. The thought of going outside and facing the world makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. I've made a mistake tonight, a fucking big one. What was I thinking?
We all know what it’s like to act of out instinct and regret it later.. probably no one as much as me, an idiot as impulsive and rash as anyone who ever walked that ramp. I've made plenty of mistakes, no doubt about it. It's cost me titles, main events, fans, even friends. But to do something so stupid that it would make the only family I have in this world hate me..
I stand up, and grab my bags. This time, I've fucked up good.
And I've no-one to blame but myself.
-----------------------
I’ll be honest with you Davey.
It’s obvious what Angel has done this week. I’m not booked against you by chance, just because we both happened to arrive at IWF around the same time. I’ve been pit against you for one reason, and one reason only.
Someone upstairs wants you to cut me down to size.
You see, while you were busy sending out love letters to the Kane brothers on twitter, I made my first public appearance in this company by assaulting a key member of staff. Maybe it wasn't the best idea for my career, but you can relate, right Davey? I mean, there’s nothing you would have liked more than to have had the chance to knock a few lumps in to Spike Kane on Sacrifice. So I’m pretty sure you understand my position – you want to face Spike Kane, I want to face Angel. Simple as that. Except, it seems that - unlike Spike - Angel isn’t so keen to make that feeling mutual. So instead, in only my second match in what – eighteen months? – I find myself booked against an NCW Hall of Famer.
Well Dave, I guess I may as well not even bother turning up, right? Because what chance have I got this week against a man who has had such a stellar career as yourself. A man who can claim to have been in many epic matches, losing against some of the best wrestlers in this history of this industry. A man who paved the way for the first ever Road to the Gold winner, a man who paved the way for the first ever NCW Champion, by laying down and taking pin falls that would write your name in to the history books. I admit, it’s a worrying thought. I mean, sure, you pretty much sucked ass your whole career, but along the way someone’s magical talent dust is bound have rubbed off on you. And even if it didn’t – you must have learned loads from your former tag team partner, another undoubted legend of NCW..
Joe Everyman.
It’s scary, coming up against a man of your calibre Davey. Just a couple of years ago I suffered a broken neck that doctors thought would put me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I can’t say I’m free of ring rust, in perfect condition, or that my skin is showing as much Vitamin D as yours. So all in all, things aren’t really in my favour what so ever.
Angel’s not that stupid.. he wouldn’t have made this match if I actually had a chance of winning. I mean, what would be the point in that?
No, I’m afraid my luck’s up this week. I have to apologize Davey, I only wish you could have faced someone more suitable for your altogether frightening levels of charisma and technical ability. But hey, we have to make do with what we’ve got, right?
So go on Davey, try and roll me over. Because now that I’m finished being sarcastic about your shitty little career we can get down to business. I don’t care about you, I don’t care about your past, and I sure as hell don’t care about what you plan on doing to the Kane family. Once this match is over you’ll go back to be an insignificant part of the roster who spends too much time writing novels on twitter because he craves a level of attention that his ability will never provide. I came back to this business for two reasons Davey, to face some of the best wrestlers on the planet and prove I am the better man, and to settle a score with an old “family friend” of mine. You don’t matter shit as far as I’m concerned. But before you get all giddy and convince yourself that I’m overlooking you, sorry to disappoint you. I don’t know the meaning of taking it easy Dave, and it doesn’t matter who Angel throws me against in this company.
I’ll be ready.
So forget about the Kane’s and start worrying about what you’re up against this week. And at the end of the day, if – and I admit, it’s a big if – you’re lying on your back as usual at the end of this match, don’t be too hard on yourself. Losing to great wrestlers is what made you famous in the first place. Being the first man to lose to me in this company can sit there right alongside being the first man to lose a Road to the Gold Final, being the first man to lose in four attempts at the title, being the first man to actually agree to teaming up with Joe Everyman - so on and so forth with all the many other first-evers your great career has afforded you.
And who knows, if history is anything to go by..
It might even be your first step towards the hall of fame.
See you Monday kiddo.
The alarm clock rings beside my bed, but I barely notice it. I feel the light burning my face through the window, but can't open my eyes. If I had to guess, I'd say I finally got to sleep around 5am. Tossing and turning, wondering if I've done the right thing. Wondering if Tara understands.
Slowly I begin to open my eyes and stretch my arms in the air, feeling the muscle fatigue of being back in training for the first time in so long. I've only just woke up, but already my thoughts are centred around what happened on Sacrifice.
In many ways, it seemed like the right thing to do. When I saw Angel throw my sister across the ring like a rag doll, there was little doubt in my mind of what had to happen. I had no idea I would be victimized, abused by my own so-called fans. The world has turned against me - but what would they do if someone layed their hands on their youngest sister? Just stand there and applaud?
No.. I understand. What I've done.. is drive a wedge between this family, when all I had to do was smile and shake hands on Monday night. Everything would have been ok, Angel would apologized, two of us would have moved on and maybe, just maybe, even grown to like each other..
I snigger at the thought as I get out of bed. Through all the mistakes I've made in my life, no one can accuse me of being dishonest. And pretending to be his friend has been eating me up inside for as long as I can remember.
No. This.. marriage..
It has to come to an end. One way or another.
Suddenly a hear a knock on my door. I jump a little as I hear it.
Who could that be? Surely not paps? Surely not at 8am?
I walk towards the front door and open it. In front of me is a women a looked out for as if she was my daughter my entire life. The closest thing to purity and innonence I have in my life. The only person I can trust, no matter who turns against me and what mistakes I make.
"Jennie.. come in.."
It’s obvious what Angel has done this week. I’m not booked against you by chance, just because we both happened to arrive at IWF around the same time. I’ve been pit against you for one reason, and one reason only.
Someone upstairs wants you to cut me down to size.
You see, while you were busy sending out love letters to the Kane brothers on twitter, I made my first public appearance in this company by assaulting a key member of staff. Maybe it wasn't the best idea for my career, but you can relate, right Davey? I mean, there’s nothing you would have liked more than to have had the chance to knock a few lumps in to Spike Kane on Sacrifice. So I’m pretty sure you understand my position – you want to face Spike Kane, I want to face Angel. Simple as that. Except, it seems that - unlike Spike - Angel isn’t so keen to make that feeling mutual. So instead, in only my second match in what – eighteen months? – I find myself booked against an NCW Hall of Famer.
Well Dave, I guess I may as well not even bother turning up, right? Because what chance have I got this week against a man who has had such a stellar career as yourself. A man who can claim to have been in many epic matches, losing against some of the best wrestlers in this history of this industry. A man who paved the way for the first ever Road to the Gold winner, a man who paved the way for the first ever NCW Champion, by laying down and taking pin falls that would write your name in to the history books. I admit, it’s a worrying thought. I mean, sure, you pretty much sucked ass your whole career, but along the way someone’s magical talent dust is bound have rubbed off on you. And even if it didn’t – you must have learned loads from your former tag team partner, another undoubted legend of NCW..
Joe Everyman.
It’s scary, coming up against a man of your calibre Davey. Just a couple of years ago I suffered a broken neck that doctors thought would put me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I can’t say I’m free of ring rust, in perfect condition, or that my skin is showing as much Vitamin D as yours. So all in all, things aren’t really in my favour what so ever.
Angel’s not that stupid.. he wouldn’t have made this match if I actually had a chance of winning. I mean, what would be the point in that?
No, I’m afraid my luck’s up this week. I have to apologize Davey, I only wish you could have faced someone more suitable for your altogether frightening levels of charisma and technical ability. But hey, we have to make do with what we’ve got, right?
So go on Davey, try and roll me over. Because now that I’m finished being sarcastic about your shitty little career we can get down to business. I don’t care about you, I don’t care about your past, and I sure as hell don’t care about what you plan on doing to the Kane family. Once this match is over you’ll go back to be an insignificant part of the roster who spends too much time writing novels on twitter because he craves a level of attention that his ability will never provide. I came back to this business for two reasons Davey, to face some of the best wrestlers on the planet and prove I am the better man, and to settle a score with an old “family friend” of mine. You don’t matter shit as far as I’m concerned. But before you get all giddy and convince yourself that I’m overlooking you, sorry to disappoint you. I don’t know the meaning of taking it easy Dave, and it doesn’t matter who Angel throws me against in this company.
I’ll be ready.
So forget about the Kane’s and start worrying about what you’re up against this week. And at the end of the day, if – and I admit, it’s a big if – you’re lying on your back as usual at the end of this match, don’t be too hard on yourself. Losing to great wrestlers is what made you famous in the first place. Being the first man to lose to me in this company can sit there right alongside being the first man to lose a Road to the Gold Final, being the first man to lose in four attempts at the title, being the first man to actually agree to teaming up with Joe Everyman - so on and so forth with all the many other first-evers your great career has afforded you.
And who knows, if history is anything to go by..
It might even be your first step towards the hall of fame.
See you Monday kiddo.
---------------------------------
The alarm clock rings beside my bed, but I barely notice it. I feel the light burning my face through the window, but can't open my eyes. If I had to guess, I'd say I finally got to sleep around 5am. Tossing and turning, wondering if I've done the right thing. Wondering if Tara understands.
Slowly I begin to open my eyes and stretch my arms in the air, feeling the muscle fatigue of being back in training for the first time in so long. I've only just woke up, but already my thoughts are centred around what happened on Sacrifice.
In many ways, it seemed like the right thing to do. When I saw Angel throw my sister across the ring like a rag doll, there was little doubt in my mind of what had to happen. I had no idea I would be victimized, abused by my own so-called fans. The world has turned against me - but what would they do if someone layed their hands on their youngest sister? Just stand there and applaud?
No.. I understand. What I've done.. is drive a wedge between this family, when all I had to do was smile and shake hands on Monday night. Everything would have been ok, Angel would apologized, two of us would have moved on and maybe, just maybe, even grown to like each other..
I snigger at the thought as I get out of bed. Through all the mistakes I've made in my life, no one can accuse me of being dishonest. And pretending to be his friend has been eating me up inside for as long as I can remember.
No. This.. marriage..
It has to come to an end. One way or another.
Suddenly a hear a knock on my door. I jump a little as I hear it.
Who could that be? Surely not paps? Surely not at 8am?
I walk towards the front door and open it. In front of me is a women a looked out for as if she was my daughter my entire life. The closest thing to purity and innonence I have in my life. The only person I can trust, no matter who turns against me and what mistakes I make.
"Jennie.. come in.."
She lunges forward and hugs me. In that one moment, everything becomes clear in my head. And that's when I know..
I've done the right thing.
---------------------------------
I've done the right thing.
---------------------------------
You know Angel, the last few days have been tough.
Tara isn’t returning my calls. Fans have been heckling me when I go to the shop for a pint of milk. Hell, at first, I was even beating myself up over this.
But you know what I realized, brother? It’s easy to criticize in hindsight, especially when you go home to an empty apartment and realize that you’ve lost connection with the only people that matter to you in this world. But after a day or two, I looked myself in the mirror and started thinking a bit deeper about all of this. Because as easy as it would be for me to sugar coat things and say that what happened on Sacrifice was an instinctive reaction, that I acted purely out of anger and impulse.. it wouldn’t be true. And the more I think about it..
I wish I hadn’t stopped when you were down.
You see, bro - I’m not the one to blame for this – no sir. Yeah, I thought about what I was going to do in advance, and yeah, I was god damn positive that you deserved it at the time, so what do I have to regret? How the hell am I the bad guy? You’re the one who started all of this.. choosing me as the man who could help you dominate NCW, and beating me to a bloody pulp just because I wanted to do things on my own. You’re the one who has assaulted me after every single match we’ve had, with no justification what so ever. So.. what ever way you slice it.. allow me to sleep a little easier in the knowledge that all I’ve done is stand up to your bullshit and not allow my family to be harmed.
And I would do it again if I could.
What you’ve done over the past few years alone is justification enough for me to hate you with every fibre of my being. And last week, when I saw you lay your hands on my little sister.. when I saw that look in your eyes that told me exactly what you were about to do to her..
My only regret was that I didn’t finish you off a long time ago.
So as far as Tara’s concerned, why should I worry? Sooner or later she’s going to see what you’re really like, behind this nice guy façade you’ve suddenly adopted – and believe me, I’m going to make sure she does. And if you want to stop me, if you want to shut me up, go ahead big guy. What are you waiting for? You think booking me in a match with Davey Ortega is going to slow me down? What happened to Angel the monster? The man that would have responded to me kicking his head off by leaving me in a bloody mess in the middle of that ring? Is this was you’ve become Angel?
Has Tara made your balls shrivel up that much?
It’s time you laced up those boots and we settled this once and for all, and you can try to avoid it as long as you like. Throw these other so-called superstars in my path and see what happens.
I’m coming for you.
And I’m finishing this war.
Once and for all.
Tara isn’t returning my calls. Fans have been heckling me when I go to the shop for a pint of milk. Hell, at first, I was even beating myself up over this.
But you know what I realized, brother? It’s easy to criticize in hindsight, especially when you go home to an empty apartment and realize that you’ve lost connection with the only people that matter to you in this world. But after a day or two, I looked myself in the mirror and started thinking a bit deeper about all of this. Because as easy as it would be for me to sugar coat things and say that what happened on Sacrifice was an instinctive reaction, that I acted purely out of anger and impulse.. it wouldn’t be true. And the more I think about it..
I wish I hadn’t stopped when you were down.
You see, bro - I’m not the one to blame for this – no sir. Yeah, I thought about what I was going to do in advance, and yeah, I was god damn positive that you deserved it at the time, so what do I have to regret? How the hell am I the bad guy? You’re the one who started all of this.. choosing me as the man who could help you dominate NCW, and beating me to a bloody pulp just because I wanted to do things on my own. You’re the one who has assaulted me after every single match we’ve had, with no justification what so ever. So.. what ever way you slice it.. allow me to sleep a little easier in the knowledge that all I’ve done is stand up to your bullshit and not allow my family to be harmed.
And I would do it again if I could.
What you’ve done over the past few years alone is justification enough for me to hate you with every fibre of my being. And last week, when I saw you lay your hands on my little sister.. when I saw that look in your eyes that told me exactly what you were about to do to her..
My only regret was that I didn’t finish you off a long time ago.
So as far as Tara’s concerned, why should I worry? Sooner or later she’s going to see what you’re really like, behind this nice guy façade you’ve suddenly adopted – and believe me, I’m going to make sure she does. And if you want to stop me, if you want to shut me up, go ahead big guy. What are you waiting for? You think booking me in a match with Davey Ortega is going to slow me down? What happened to Angel the monster? The man that would have responded to me kicking his head off by leaving me in a bloody mess in the middle of that ring? Is this was you’ve become Angel?
Has Tara made your balls shrivel up that much?
It’s time you laced up those boots and we settled this once and for all, and you can try to avoid it as long as you like. Throw these other so-called superstars in my path and see what happens.
I’m coming for you.
And I’m finishing this war.
Once and for all.
--------------------
"I wanted to say thank you Doc. I know what you did on Monday night.. it was sticking up for me, like you always have."
As we stand across from each other, those words bring joy to my heart. No matter what the fans think, she understands, and that's more important than anything.
"It's just.. Tara - she's really upset, you know? She feels like you've overreacted and blown this family apart again. I know that you just think she's better off without him. After seeing the way he looked at me last week, I understand it too. He's a dangerous man, god only knows what he might do to her at any second.."
"Jennie.. we have to stop this. We have to make her realize what he's like."
"I wish we could Doc.. but she's in love - you know? She's blinded."
I think about this for a moment. Jennie's right. Tara has never been able to see the flaws in her husband. If only there was some way.. that we could just make her see..
And then it hits me.
"I've got an idea.."
"I wanted to say thank you Doc. I know what you did on Monday night.. it was sticking up for me, like you always have."
As we stand across from each other, those words bring joy to my heart. No matter what the fans think, she understands, and that's more important than anything.
"It's just.. Tara - she's really upset, you know? She feels like you've overreacted and blown this family apart again. I know that you just think she's better off without him. After seeing the way he looked at me last week, I understand it too. He's a dangerous man, god only knows what he might do to her at any second.."
"Jennie.. we have to stop this. We have to make her realize what he's like."
"I wish we could Doc.. but she's in love - you know? She's blinded."
I think about this for a moment. Jennie's right. Tara has never been able to see the flaws in her husband. If only there was some way.. that we could just make her see..
And then it hits me.
"I've got an idea.."
Well howdy there pardner.