Post by Kathleen Conway on Jul 8, 2013 19:21:21 GMT
Tifa, or should I call you Tiffany?
See if I was half the bitch you think I am, I'd call you Tiffany simply because I know you hate it. If I wanted to see someone of your youth and naivety throw a temper tantrum, I'd condescend. I'd underestimate you. I'd step up to this camera and tell you point blank that I have five years of in-ring experience over you, and call it a day. But I don't want to do any of those things Tifa, or st least I didn't think I did until I heard what you had to say this week.
Honestly I was looking forward to this match. I was looking forward to starting afresh in this company, facing the new challenges, unshackled by my past, I figured a new start and a new attitude towards my career would help people see beyond my rather colourful history. I came into IWF looking to outrun my past, to break free of the last remnants of an injury that had not only dimmed my lights upstairs but also dimmed the lights of a fierce ambition and drive for the last five years.
I want to be the woman I was before 2008. I want to find in myself what I lost, the determination and the desire, the very same determination and desire that got me promoted ahead of all my male colleagues in the male dominated world of law enforcement. The world has not seen that Kathy, the world does not know that Kathy, all they know and all they have known for a long time is Kat, a caricature of who I started out to be, a whisper of the woman I used to be. A woman lost in her own mind, guided only by her love for one man...and after half a decade, he has brought me home just like he said he would, and for that I love him and I love him absolutely and I will make no apologies to you or anyone else for what I feel in my heart for Jake Conway.
I don't want to be anybody's mentor Tifa, I don't want to teach you or any of the other diamonds any lessons here, all I want to do is rediscover myself, rediscover the woman I was and return as the woman Jake fell in love with seven years ago, its a slow road with its share of speedbumps but then all of the roads worth taking are. I cannot and do not expect to fly through this tournament like some timeless straight arrow, my fortune has never been that golden. Nothing has ever come easy for me in life, everything I have I have earned, including the love of my husband, and just like I won't apologise for it, neither will I apologise for showing a little pride where it is warranted.
I don't have your extraordinary luck Tifa, and I doubt I ever will when it comes to this business. I cannot lay claim to having put everybody down, all I can do is do what I do best, do the very thing you and those like you mock me for, be a cat. You see all this time I thought escaping the spectre of that chapter of my life was the key, now I realise that it isn't, so I'll stand here with open arms and bear your slings and arrows Tifa. Hit me with your best shot girl, kick me in the face as hard as you like, I've survived so much worse already. I've been through things you couldn't even begin to imagine both inside and outside that ring. I've survived the Wrath of the God of Xtreme, I've survived being Piledriven by Falcon, I've been kicked in the face by life so many times already, and none of it has kept me down, so why should the kick of some jumped up little chica be any different?
You've amassed a small string of victories and now the ego is starting to come to the fore as I knew it would. Nobody in this business is immune to it...you've had your little chats with Freya about me, no doubt shared a few girly giggles at my expense, and now all of a sudden you think you know all about me and who I am and where I come from and what I'm all about, but the reality is you don't have the first clue. So what's a Kat to do but to take that little string of victories you dangle in front of me and make it my play thing. Bat it all away. I'll be honest here Tifa, that mocking sense of righteousness and arrogance with which you address me quite frankly doesn't suit you and seems quite the opposite to the cheery excitable girl I was expecting to face, the happy-go-lucky sort that you were just a week ago, I liked her, hell you might even say I respected her. I was fully prepared to come out here and go on record by giving that girl all the props in the world.
What happened to that girl? I'll tell you what happened Tifa, you started to take life advice from a woman the world mocked just because she preferred chocolate to vanilla, but I never did. I, like you, always saw her a little differently, and I respected her, and until now I thought that sense of respect was mutual. Apparently not, apparently Tifa, as one of the few who see Freya differently to everybody else, you cannot extend me that same courtesy. You cannot see me a little differently to everybody else in this company. Quite frankly I'm disappointed.
But I can't really say I'm all that surprised, you are after all a little pup trying to make it in a world of dogs, and as you're so gosh darn proud of telling me, you are being trained by one of the biggest dogs in the company, and like any dog, she's got you well house-trained, and running around in the same circles as all the other dogs who bark in frustration at never quite being able to capture the tail end of their dreams. Whilst the dogs run around in circles waiting for someone to throw them the ball so they can run with it, it is the cat who concerns herself with scrambling up the tree and sitting on the top of the world looking down at all the mongrels and bitches below her still running around in circles until they tire themselves out.
If I am a cat and a cat is all I'll ever be, then at least I'm a cat with claws.
It was time to stop outrunning the monsters in your life Kathy.
It was time to confront them. Embrace them.
Embrace who you were.
Embrace who you are.
Embrace who you will be.
They condemn you as a cat.
So be a cat.
Be a cat in a world full of canaries.
See if I was half the bitch you think I am, I'd call you Tiffany simply because I know you hate it. If I wanted to see someone of your youth and naivety throw a temper tantrum, I'd condescend. I'd underestimate you. I'd step up to this camera and tell you point blank that I have five years of in-ring experience over you, and call it a day. But I don't want to do any of those things Tifa, or st least I didn't think I did until I heard what you had to say this week.
Honestly I was looking forward to this match. I was looking forward to starting afresh in this company, facing the new challenges, unshackled by my past, I figured a new start and a new attitude towards my career would help people see beyond my rather colourful history. I came into IWF looking to outrun my past, to break free of the last remnants of an injury that had not only dimmed my lights upstairs but also dimmed the lights of a fierce ambition and drive for the last five years.
I want to be the woman I was before 2008. I want to find in myself what I lost, the determination and the desire, the very same determination and desire that got me promoted ahead of all my male colleagues in the male dominated world of law enforcement. The world has not seen that Kathy, the world does not know that Kathy, all they know and all they have known for a long time is Kat, a caricature of who I started out to be, a whisper of the woman I used to be. A woman lost in her own mind, guided only by her love for one man...and after half a decade, he has brought me home just like he said he would, and for that I love him and I love him absolutely and I will make no apologies to you or anyone else for what I feel in my heart for Jake Conway.
I don't want to be anybody's mentor Tifa, I don't want to teach you or any of the other diamonds any lessons here, all I want to do is rediscover myself, rediscover the woman I was and return as the woman Jake fell in love with seven years ago, its a slow road with its share of speedbumps but then all of the roads worth taking are. I cannot and do not expect to fly through this tournament like some timeless straight arrow, my fortune has never been that golden. Nothing has ever come easy for me in life, everything I have I have earned, including the love of my husband, and just like I won't apologise for it, neither will I apologise for showing a little pride where it is warranted.
I don't have your extraordinary luck Tifa, and I doubt I ever will when it comes to this business. I cannot lay claim to having put everybody down, all I can do is do what I do best, do the very thing you and those like you mock me for, be a cat. You see all this time I thought escaping the spectre of that chapter of my life was the key, now I realise that it isn't, so I'll stand here with open arms and bear your slings and arrows Tifa. Hit me with your best shot girl, kick me in the face as hard as you like, I've survived so much worse already. I've been through things you couldn't even begin to imagine both inside and outside that ring. I've survived the Wrath of the God of Xtreme, I've survived being Piledriven by Falcon, I've been kicked in the face by life so many times already, and none of it has kept me down, so why should the kick of some jumped up little chica be any different?
You've amassed a small string of victories and now the ego is starting to come to the fore as I knew it would. Nobody in this business is immune to it...you've had your little chats with Freya about me, no doubt shared a few girly giggles at my expense, and now all of a sudden you think you know all about me and who I am and where I come from and what I'm all about, but the reality is you don't have the first clue. So what's a Kat to do but to take that little string of victories you dangle in front of me and make it my play thing. Bat it all away. I'll be honest here Tifa, that mocking sense of righteousness and arrogance with which you address me quite frankly doesn't suit you and seems quite the opposite to the cheery excitable girl I was expecting to face, the happy-go-lucky sort that you were just a week ago, I liked her, hell you might even say I respected her. I was fully prepared to come out here and go on record by giving that girl all the props in the world.
What happened to that girl? I'll tell you what happened Tifa, you started to take life advice from a woman the world mocked just because she preferred chocolate to vanilla, but I never did. I, like you, always saw her a little differently, and I respected her, and until now I thought that sense of respect was mutual. Apparently not, apparently Tifa, as one of the few who see Freya differently to everybody else, you cannot extend me that same courtesy. You cannot see me a little differently to everybody else in this company. Quite frankly I'm disappointed.
But I can't really say I'm all that surprised, you are after all a little pup trying to make it in a world of dogs, and as you're so gosh darn proud of telling me, you are being trained by one of the biggest dogs in the company, and like any dog, she's got you well house-trained, and running around in the same circles as all the other dogs who bark in frustration at never quite being able to capture the tail end of their dreams. Whilst the dogs run around in circles waiting for someone to throw them the ball so they can run with it, it is the cat who concerns herself with scrambling up the tree and sitting on the top of the world looking down at all the mongrels and bitches below her still running around in circles until they tire themselves out.
If I am a cat and a cat is all I'll ever be, then at least I'm a cat with claws.
It was time to stop outrunning the monsters in your life Kathy.
It was time to confront them. Embrace them.
Embrace who you were.
Embrace who you are.
Embrace who you will be.
They condemn you as a cat.
So be a cat.
Be a cat in a world full of canaries.
Well howdy there pardner.