Post by Avery Barnes on Feb 28, 2016 23:30:19 GMT
“I told you, Avery. I told you this would happen. You’re the most predictable woman I’ve ever met.”
Across the table and obscured slightly by the rising steam from her cup of coffee sits Gabrielle, the closest thing I have to a best friend. Which, I suppose, makes her my actual best friend. But ask yourself this, would you want to call your former boss your best friend? Didn’t think so. Gabrielle is my former boss, back when I worked as a barista-slash-baker at her independant coffee shop in the middle of Portland. I admit that I was attracted to her, and I admitted this to her face but every time I was shot down until eventually she started saying that she had a fiance.
I’ve yet to see a ring on her finger but at this point we mostly keep up the act because it’s our little ‘thing’. An in-joke, of a sort. It’ll never happen between us nor would either of us want it to. I value her friendship and company far more than I would value her companionship for an evening
Gabrielle put up with a lot of my antics over the years, from blatantly flirting with customers and employees to never showing up on time and even quitting somewhere around five times before inevitably I came back with puppy dog eyes. My most recent resignation came with the caveat that I wouldn’t be allowed to return when my venture inevitably failed. Which it did. I think it was Gabrielle’s way of telling me to grow up, to get my life together, and to stop using a minimum wage job as some kind of safety net.
I really should thank her for that one of these days, but not until I feel my life is truly sorted. I’m getting there, though. Slowly but surely.
Thankfully, just because I can no longer work for her doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with her, and from the way she was willing to spend some time with me after her shop closed I can reasonably assume that she values our friendship just as much, if not more, than I do.
“I know, I know, you can set clocks by my failures.” I didn’t have a mug of coffee in front of me, I have a vow where the only caffeine I consume when the sun is setting comes in the form of carbonated sodas with my happy meals. Instead the small silver fork in my hand is poking and prodding away at a piece of chocolate cake. It’s a bit less rich and decadent than the ones I made when I worked here but that’s to be expected. When you get rid of the self-proclaimed best baker in the Portland area...quality will dip. “But I was really hoping this would pan out. I did the thing I always do, you know?”
“Hmmm, you mean where you come on super strong and try to roll it back? I remember. I was a victim of it. What was it you said after I hired you?”
“That red and yellow makes strawberry cheesecake so why don’t we get a slice.” Even recalling it made me awkwardly chuckle. I might’ve even shivered. “In my defense, who else comes up with cake related flirts as easily as I do? All it took was hair color.”
“Yeah. That. Thing is, Av, it was cute then because you were still coming up through college or graduated or...whatever, you were young. You do that now, and to someone above your age range...it’s far less cute. How are you so bad at dating?”
“Because I don’t date, Gabby! It’s not a date if you go home with someone at a bar and it’s not a date if it’s a no strings attached lunch meeting. I was never interested in dating, I was interested in flings and maybe having one of those becoming something more.”
“There’s a saying for that, you know.” Gabrielle spent just as much time engaged in our conversation as she did gingerly blowing at the steam of her coffee; she only rarely took a sip, possibly because she wasn’t one of those people that genuinely ENJOYED coffee. But the owner of a coffee shop had to keep up appearances.
“Is there? Enlighten me.”
There’s a pause while Gabby holds up an index finger to take her third or fourth sip, not giving me a response until after she had set the cup gently on the table.
“Yeah. Having your cake and eating it too.”
It was probably for the best that I didn’t have an overly hot beverage in front of me because that sort of line from Gabby would be enough to make me do a spit take. And from the way her lips formed a sly little smirk in the corner, she knew exactly what it was she did.
“I like my baked goods based puns better. Speaking of…”
“Speaking of puns? I’d rather we didn’t.” That was one of the reasons why I loved hanging out with Gabby. She was one of the few people I knew that could keep up with me, always there to throw the ball in the net after a successful pass.
“Yeah, that does sound like a bit of a half-baked idea.”
“You always find a way to rise to the occasion.”
“Pssh, that’s an obvious one. You knead to work harder.”
“I’ll try butter next time, but you know there’s a margarine of error.”
I had no choice but to concede the victory to Gabby in this instance, otherwise it was quite likely that we’d continue on our way and get far off topic. Which would be something of a problem seeing as I was the one that wanted to do this little catch up of ours.
Still, it was good to laugh and smile and feel myself again. I couldn’t just spend all my time inside watching eighties cartoons and eating cheeseburgers. Though I really, really would want nothing other than that. It was up to me to get back to the matter at hand.
“No, but I’m serious, Gabby. It wasn’t a total loss, my little disaster meeting. But there’s something I want to run by you.”
“If this is another ploy to get me to sleep with you, need I remind you of my fiance?”
“Oh, has he come down from Imaginiationland for a visit? Tell him I said hello. But no, this is completely above the sheets, I promise.”
It was difficult for me to continue even though Gabby was hanging on my words like clothes from a hangar. Her head was tilted curiously and her eyes were narrowed in just the right way as to suggest that she was deeply focusing on my words. So I did what I had to do, I took a breath and I spoke without thinking. It had worked so well for me in the past.
“I want to open a bakery and I was wondering if you would want to co-own it with me.” To my great surprise, the words didn’t stumble out of me or blend together. They came out clear. Quickly, perhaps, but clear all the same.
“I think I might’ve preferred you trying to pick me up…”
Not quite the response I was expecting, but then again this was sort of a major investment. I could understand hesitation.
“I was informed that a business partner would make the process easier. You’ve managed a successful business for how many years now? I’m not asking you to franchise or anything...but with your experience and my skills I think the money risk is worth it.”
“You’re skilled with dough, I’ll admit, but what guarantee do I have that you won’t just give up and quit three months in? You do that a lot, you know. Only this time it’s not just your money being wasted, but mine too. I like you, Av, but you’re not the most reliable woman I know.”
“That’s fair, Gabby. But I’m making an effort here to stop messing around and to do something with my life for once. I’m good at two things. Making cakes and talking to people. This way I can do both. I just...I have to grow up sometime. Why not now?”
Silence followed, broken only by the audible sipping of Gabby’s coffee. I couldn’t offer up more of an explanation than that. I said what I had to say, my cards were on the table, another cliche metaphor goes here.
“I don’t know, Avery. It’s a risk. All businesses are. I...I need to think about this, yeah? And you need to come up with a plan B just in case.”
“That’s the thing, Gabby. You ARE my plan B.”
If I hadn’t made my case perfectly clear before, it was all the more apparent now. I got the feeling that Gabrielle could see how serious I was taking this, because on my face wasn’t the usual smile and wink, but a serious, thoughtful expression reserved usually for more somber moments.
I needed her expertise on the matter now more than ever, but I didn’t want to just come out and say I was desperate. I was that, though. Desperate. Desperate for something in my life to go right for a change.
I would give Gabby all the time she needed to decide. But I was hoping all the while that she would agree to my proposal. Otherwise my business would be burnt like toast.
And that’s the pun game won by yours truly.
~
“I’m not sure if this is IWF’s idea of hazing the new girl or the people behind the curtain putting faith in me but either way I’m kind of shocked at what I’ve walked into. Normally you’d have to catch the right group of people during spring break or something to get wrapped up in a four way dance and this is on the heels of a recent three way tango; at this rate I’m gonna wind up going through all the Diamonds before I’ve had a chance to pick a favorite!”
“I’m just kidding. I’ve already picked a favorite. You know who you are.”
“What gets me about this match of mine isn’t so much the whole ‘four way’ aspect but rather the fact that a win doesn’t just contribute to my slowly increasing self confidence. I had to do a double take when I heard the news because apart from seeming like the odd woman out in this scenario...suddenly I’ve got even more reason to give this my best effort. It’s not everyday I enter a place and find a potential championship match dangling above me like that sword in that one thing. Honestly? That only sweetens the deal as far as I’m concerned because if you put me in the ring with three other Diamonds...well I’m already beaming from ear to ear. Now I’m what you might call glowing.”
“But I don’t want to get ahead of myself here. I don’t expect this to be easy, but then nothing worth doing ever is. Except for, like, you know...which is easy enough and absolutely worth doing. It’s been something of an uphill climb for me in IWF but I’ve pulled through with the same charm and irreverence that got me the gig in the first place. One of these women I’ve faced before and that’s Emma Danielson. Hi, Emma! Remember me? I’m the one that pinned you in that triple threat with Kate Steele? I’m not rubbing anything in or anything, I just thought you might need a reminder is all. Boy, people have not told me complimentary things about you, but I know better than to take gossip at face value. What do you think this is, high school?”
“I mean, I like older women so as far as I’m concerned people saying that about you can only be a good thing. And truth be told more, I get the sense that my debut match didn’t see either of us at our best; I missed the chance to give you or Kate a Goodnight Kiss and you missed the chance to make me bloody or whatever it is you said you would do to me. Something tells me you won’t get the chance to do that this go around but on the same notion...chances are slim that I’ll be giving to you what I gave to Fiona. And I’m not talking about my phone number, which she didn’t take.”
“Seriously, though, I offered. I think.”
“I don’t think you’re as bad a person as you said you are, Emma. Trust me when I say I can understand what you’re feeling. That whole inadequacy, comparing yourselves to others and wondering what secret they discovered about how to get ahead in life...it hurts. It truly does. But unlike you I don’t take the pain I feel and turn it onto others. Instead I work even harder to be the friendly, optimistic person that you see today. In a way, I feel like we’re kindred spirits. My life has been a series of mishaps because I’m my own worst enemy. And my wrestling life? I used the fact that I had one good run in a tag team to make myself sound more appealing to potential companies and opponents...because each and every time I tried to get a singles path going...I always found myself coming up just short.”
“It’s happened every time. I was in the running for a major singles title in two different places...each time I got to the title match...and both times I dropped the ball and fell into the funk of depression. I get you, Emma, I do. But just because you’ve got some age on people doesn’t mean jack. You look at someone like me and people don’t say ‘there’s a girl that looks like a champion’ but I look at you and I know that you’ve got the build, the body, and the brain to do it...and you shouldn’t beat yourself up...or others...because it hasn’t come to pass. I’m asking you to trust me again when I say that...it will happen for you.”
“Just that...well...it probably won’t happen with this match. Sorry. I hate being the bearer of bad news but sometimes it’s inevitable. Were I not part of this match I might even put my money on you because this match is made up of four people out to prove something not to the world at large or Kathy Conway as the case is for one of us...but to ourselves. And frankly, Emma, though I understand you fully...I don’t think that yours is as strong a case.”
“But if you wanna talk strong, how about that Kayla Richards, am I right? I don’t exactly know what you mean with this ‘anti-christ’ nonsense, that was a terrible movie, girl, but you’re no laughing matter. It’s kind of poetic, isn’t it, that my victory in this match - over you or otherwise - means going after the same title that you helped put on the map. Or am I wrong about that? Seems to me that the word ‘Shieldmaiden’ has you spring to mind if only due to your impressive reign. You’ve stood against Emma and Mercedes multiple times before and you’ve cut a swath through the division which is rather crazy considering that diamonds are the hardest substance.”
“That’s a geology reference. Yeah, I paid attention in earth science!”
“And here you are, Kayla, poised to pounce and stake your claim in the Big Girls side of town. And you’re confident about it. Maybe a bit cocky and rude but perhaps deservedly so because, again, you’ve been up against two of your three opponents before. But you only know me either by reputation or by my two IWF appearances, right? Either way it’s probably not enough to form any sort of opinion about my in ring ability. Because if you did know something about me, you’d know that my previous match before signing with IWF involved me, two others, and a whole lot of barbed wire. I lost that match. But I also survived it. Maybe not what you meant by shedding blood but I want to mention it for the specific reason that the brutality of that match and the physicality involved didn’t break me. It didn’t dampen my spirits and it didn’t change me in any way other than having a cool scar to impress dates with.”
“I may not be the pain dealing, so-called anti-christ that you are but I’m here to show you and everyone that I don’t have to be some bitchy, mean, killer type to find success here. And that means going through a former Shieldmaiden champion and killing not with blood intent but with kindness and a kiss. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most dominating presence, but my ground game is so on point, and once I get someone right where I want them...namely horizontal, I don’t let them go.”
“The way I see this, Kayla, is that if and when I Kiss you Goodnight...that’s basically the same as defeating a champion...which would prepare me for my own future shot at gold, and one I intend on taking. You’re a bad chick, Kayla, but even you bad girls get weak in the knees for the right good girl.”
“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Mercedes Vargas, you’re as important to this match as anyone. Thing is, you’re a former champion yourself which just means I can echo my statement about Kayla...but perhaps it won’t ring as true given...well...you know. From where I’m standing, your eyes would be on Kay;a above all else. You get the win on Kayla and you get the shot at the top and well...losing certainly doesn’t sound like fun for anyone...but especially you.”
“Then again...maybe you’re looking at me but not in the way I’d be looking at you looking at me. Because maybe you don’t care about WHAT you win just that you DO win...and a newer girl, an untested Diamond makes for perfect fodder, doesn’t it? I caution you not to take me so lightly, Mercedes, it won’t work out as well as you think.”
“Of course, maybe I’m wrong...but something tells me I’m being more than a little prophetic here. The thing with you arrogant types is that no matter what happens you’ll always BE arrogant. I may as well be a mouse in a trap compared to the likes of you. That’s the thing about mice, though, is that they’re crafty and resourceful.”
“You’re up against someone you had a rather unsuccesful tag team match up with a few weeks ago so who knows...could very well be some bad blood between you two that needs settling up...which would work out well for me...and that’s saying nothing of the fact that you’ve not had a good string of runs against Kayla here...so that’s just further fuel to your own fire, right? Where do I rate on that list, I wonder. Either I’m your first target because I’m clearly the weak link, the odd woman out, the whathaveyou...or I’m your leftovers after you settle your scores.”
“Either way...it works out well for me. I’ve got no ill will towards anyone nor they towards me...and that extends to this match. I’m the unpredictable element. If you focus on Emma and Kayla...I’m there to keep you from getting a victory...if you focus on ME then Emma and Kay;a are there to do the same...if not worse. To me, Mercedes, you’re in the worst position out of all of us in this match...the one I’d say has the least chance of walking out of Danger Zone with a victory.”
“And that’s not me being arrogant, that’s me trying to be all analytical and stuff.”
“Listen, ladies, all of you have something to gain from this match and I don’t expect any of you to give it up without a drawn out fight. And while I certainly stand to gain much AND intend on earning a third victory...what I don’t intend on doing is going down without a fight. Ask any of the names in my little book and they’ll tell you that I know a thing or two about resilience and stamina...which is a fun way of saying that I can go for as long as I need to to get what I want. And what I need.”
“And at Danger Zone...what I need is a first class ticket to Ireland. And I’m willing to pay any amount to get it.”
“I look forward to Kissing one of you. I’m not picky about who that is. See you ladies there.”
Across the table and obscured slightly by the rising steam from her cup of coffee sits Gabrielle, the closest thing I have to a best friend. Which, I suppose, makes her my actual best friend. But ask yourself this, would you want to call your former boss your best friend? Didn’t think so. Gabrielle is my former boss, back when I worked as a barista-slash-baker at her independant coffee shop in the middle of Portland. I admit that I was attracted to her, and I admitted this to her face but every time I was shot down until eventually she started saying that she had a fiance.
I’ve yet to see a ring on her finger but at this point we mostly keep up the act because it’s our little ‘thing’. An in-joke, of a sort. It’ll never happen between us nor would either of us want it to. I value her friendship and company far more than I would value her companionship for an evening
Gabrielle put up with a lot of my antics over the years, from blatantly flirting with customers and employees to never showing up on time and even quitting somewhere around five times before inevitably I came back with puppy dog eyes. My most recent resignation came with the caveat that I wouldn’t be allowed to return when my venture inevitably failed. Which it did. I think it was Gabrielle’s way of telling me to grow up, to get my life together, and to stop using a minimum wage job as some kind of safety net.
I really should thank her for that one of these days, but not until I feel my life is truly sorted. I’m getting there, though. Slowly but surely.
Thankfully, just because I can no longer work for her doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with her, and from the way she was willing to spend some time with me after her shop closed I can reasonably assume that she values our friendship just as much, if not more, than I do.
“I know, I know, you can set clocks by my failures.” I didn’t have a mug of coffee in front of me, I have a vow where the only caffeine I consume when the sun is setting comes in the form of carbonated sodas with my happy meals. Instead the small silver fork in my hand is poking and prodding away at a piece of chocolate cake. It’s a bit less rich and decadent than the ones I made when I worked here but that’s to be expected. When you get rid of the self-proclaimed best baker in the Portland area...quality will dip. “But I was really hoping this would pan out. I did the thing I always do, you know?”
“Hmmm, you mean where you come on super strong and try to roll it back? I remember. I was a victim of it. What was it you said after I hired you?”
“That red and yellow makes strawberry cheesecake so why don’t we get a slice.” Even recalling it made me awkwardly chuckle. I might’ve even shivered. “In my defense, who else comes up with cake related flirts as easily as I do? All it took was hair color.”
“Yeah. That. Thing is, Av, it was cute then because you were still coming up through college or graduated or...whatever, you were young. You do that now, and to someone above your age range...it’s far less cute. How are you so bad at dating?”
“Because I don’t date, Gabby! It’s not a date if you go home with someone at a bar and it’s not a date if it’s a no strings attached lunch meeting. I was never interested in dating, I was interested in flings and maybe having one of those becoming something more.”
“There’s a saying for that, you know.” Gabrielle spent just as much time engaged in our conversation as she did gingerly blowing at the steam of her coffee; she only rarely took a sip, possibly because she wasn’t one of those people that genuinely ENJOYED coffee. But the owner of a coffee shop had to keep up appearances.
“Is there? Enlighten me.”
There’s a pause while Gabby holds up an index finger to take her third or fourth sip, not giving me a response until after she had set the cup gently on the table.
“Yeah. Having your cake and eating it too.”
It was probably for the best that I didn’t have an overly hot beverage in front of me because that sort of line from Gabby would be enough to make me do a spit take. And from the way her lips formed a sly little smirk in the corner, she knew exactly what it was she did.
“I like my baked goods based puns better. Speaking of…”
“Speaking of puns? I’d rather we didn’t.” That was one of the reasons why I loved hanging out with Gabby. She was one of the few people I knew that could keep up with me, always there to throw the ball in the net after a successful pass.
“Yeah, that does sound like a bit of a half-baked idea.”
“You always find a way to rise to the occasion.”
“Pssh, that’s an obvious one. You knead to work harder.”
“I’ll try butter next time, but you know there’s a margarine of error.”
I had no choice but to concede the victory to Gabby in this instance, otherwise it was quite likely that we’d continue on our way and get far off topic. Which would be something of a problem seeing as I was the one that wanted to do this little catch up of ours.
Still, it was good to laugh and smile and feel myself again. I couldn’t just spend all my time inside watching eighties cartoons and eating cheeseburgers. Though I really, really would want nothing other than that. It was up to me to get back to the matter at hand.
“No, but I’m serious, Gabby. It wasn’t a total loss, my little disaster meeting. But there’s something I want to run by you.”
“If this is another ploy to get me to sleep with you, need I remind you of my fiance?”
“Oh, has he come down from Imaginiationland for a visit? Tell him I said hello. But no, this is completely above the sheets, I promise.”
It was difficult for me to continue even though Gabby was hanging on my words like clothes from a hangar. Her head was tilted curiously and her eyes were narrowed in just the right way as to suggest that she was deeply focusing on my words. So I did what I had to do, I took a breath and I spoke without thinking. It had worked so well for me in the past.
“I want to open a bakery and I was wondering if you would want to co-own it with me.” To my great surprise, the words didn’t stumble out of me or blend together. They came out clear. Quickly, perhaps, but clear all the same.
“I think I might’ve preferred you trying to pick me up…”
Not quite the response I was expecting, but then again this was sort of a major investment. I could understand hesitation.
“I was informed that a business partner would make the process easier. You’ve managed a successful business for how many years now? I’m not asking you to franchise or anything...but with your experience and my skills I think the money risk is worth it.”
“You’re skilled with dough, I’ll admit, but what guarantee do I have that you won’t just give up and quit three months in? You do that a lot, you know. Only this time it’s not just your money being wasted, but mine too. I like you, Av, but you’re not the most reliable woman I know.”
“That’s fair, Gabby. But I’m making an effort here to stop messing around and to do something with my life for once. I’m good at two things. Making cakes and talking to people. This way I can do both. I just...I have to grow up sometime. Why not now?”
Silence followed, broken only by the audible sipping of Gabby’s coffee. I couldn’t offer up more of an explanation than that. I said what I had to say, my cards were on the table, another cliche metaphor goes here.
“I don’t know, Avery. It’s a risk. All businesses are. I...I need to think about this, yeah? And you need to come up with a plan B just in case.”
“That’s the thing, Gabby. You ARE my plan B.”
If I hadn’t made my case perfectly clear before, it was all the more apparent now. I got the feeling that Gabrielle could see how serious I was taking this, because on my face wasn’t the usual smile and wink, but a serious, thoughtful expression reserved usually for more somber moments.
I needed her expertise on the matter now more than ever, but I didn’t want to just come out and say I was desperate. I was that, though. Desperate. Desperate for something in my life to go right for a change.
I would give Gabby all the time she needed to decide. But I was hoping all the while that she would agree to my proposal. Otherwise my business would be burnt like toast.
And that’s the pun game won by yours truly.
~
“I’m not sure if this is IWF’s idea of hazing the new girl or the people behind the curtain putting faith in me but either way I’m kind of shocked at what I’ve walked into. Normally you’d have to catch the right group of people during spring break or something to get wrapped up in a four way dance and this is on the heels of a recent three way tango; at this rate I’m gonna wind up going through all the Diamonds before I’ve had a chance to pick a favorite!”
“I’m just kidding. I’ve already picked a favorite. You know who you are.”
“What gets me about this match of mine isn’t so much the whole ‘four way’ aspect but rather the fact that a win doesn’t just contribute to my slowly increasing self confidence. I had to do a double take when I heard the news because apart from seeming like the odd woman out in this scenario...suddenly I’ve got even more reason to give this my best effort. It’s not everyday I enter a place and find a potential championship match dangling above me like that sword in that one thing. Honestly? That only sweetens the deal as far as I’m concerned because if you put me in the ring with three other Diamonds...well I’m already beaming from ear to ear. Now I’m what you might call glowing.”
“But I don’t want to get ahead of myself here. I don’t expect this to be easy, but then nothing worth doing ever is. Except for, like, you know...which is easy enough and absolutely worth doing. It’s been something of an uphill climb for me in IWF but I’ve pulled through with the same charm and irreverence that got me the gig in the first place. One of these women I’ve faced before and that’s Emma Danielson. Hi, Emma! Remember me? I’m the one that pinned you in that triple threat with Kate Steele? I’m not rubbing anything in or anything, I just thought you might need a reminder is all. Boy, people have not told me complimentary things about you, but I know better than to take gossip at face value. What do you think this is, high school?”
“I mean, I like older women so as far as I’m concerned people saying that about you can only be a good thing. And truth be told more, I get the sense that my debut match didn’t see either of us at our best; I missed the chance to give you or Kate a Goodnight Kiss and you missed the chance to make me bloody or whatever it is you said you would do to me. Something tells me you won’t get the chance to do that this go around but on the same notion...chances are slim that I’ll be giving to you what I gave to Fiona. And I’m not talking about my phone number, which she didn’t take.”
“Seriously, though, I offered. I think.”
“I don’t think you’re as bad a person as you said you are, Emma. Trust me when I say I can understand what you’re feeling. That whole inadequacy, comparing yourselves to others and wondering what secret they discovered about how to get ahead in life...it hurts. It truly does. But unlike you I don’t take the pain I feel and turn it onto others. Instead I work even harder to be the friendly, optimistic person that you see today. In a way, I feel like we’re kindred spirits. My life has been a series of mishaps because I’m my own worst enemy. And my wrestling life? I used the fact that I had one good run in a tag team to make myself sound more appealing to potential companies and opponents...because each and every time I tried to get a singles path going...I always found myself coming up just short.”
“It’s happened every time. I was in the running for a major singles title in two different places...each time I got to the title match...and both times I dropped the ball and fell into the funk of depression. I get you, Emma, I do. But just because you’ve got some age on people doesn’t mean jack. You look at someone like me and people don’t say ‘there’s a girl that looks like a champion’ but I look at you and I know that you’ve got the build, the body, and the brain to do it...and you shouldn’t beat yourself up...or others...because it hasn’t come to pass. I’m asking you to trust me again when I say that...it will happen for you.”
“Just that...well...it probably won’t happen with this match. Sorry. I hate being the bearer of bad news but sometimes it’s inevitable. Were I not part of this match I might even put my money on you because this match is made up of four people out to prove something not to the world at large or Kathy Conway as the case is for one of us...but to ourselves. And frankly, Emma, though I understand you fully...I don’t think that yours is as strong a case.”
“But if you wanna talk strong, how about that Kayla Richards, am I right? I don’t exactly know what you mean with this ‘anti-christ’ nonsense, that was a terrible movie, girl, but you’re no laughing matter. It’s kind of poetic, isn’t it, that my victory in this match - over you or otherwise - means going after the same title that you helped put on the map. Or am I wrong about that? Seems to me that the word ‘Shieldmaiden’ has you spring to mind if only due to your impressive reign. You’ve stood against Emma and Mercedes multiple times before and you’ve cut a swath through the division which is rather crazy considering that diamonds are the hardest substance.”
“That’s a geology reference. Yeah, I paid attention in earth science!”
“And here you are, Kayla, poised to pounce and stake your claim in the Big Girls side of town. And you’re confident about it. Maybe a bit cocky and rude but perhaps deservedly so because, again, you’ve been up against two of your three opponents before. But you only know me either by reputation or by my two IWF appearances, right? Either way it’s probably not enough to form any sort of opinion about my in ring ability. Because if you did know something about me, you’d know that my previous match before signing with IWF involved me, two others, and a whole lot of barbed wire. I lost that match. But I also survived it. Maybe not what you meant by shedding blood but I want to mention it for the specific reason that the brutality of that match and the physicality involved didn’t break me. It didn’t dampen my spirits and it didn’t change me in any way other than having a cool scar to impress dates with.”
“I may not be the pain dealing, so-called anti-christ that you are but I’m here to show you and everyone that I don’t have to be some bitchy, mean, killer type to find success here. And that means going through a former Shieldmaiden champion and killing not with blood intent but with kindness and a kiss. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most dominating presence, but my ground game is so on point, and once I get someone right where I want them...namely horizontal, I don’t let them go.”
“The way I see this, Kayla, is that if and when I Kiss you Goodnight...that’s basically the same as defeating a champion...which would prepare me for my own future shot at gold, and one I intend on taking. You’re a bad chick, Kayla, but even you bad girls get weak in the knees for the right good girl.”
“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Mercedes Vargas, you’re as important to this match as anyone. Thing is, you’re a former champion yourself which just means I can echo my statement about Kayla...but perhaps it won’t ring as true given...well...you know. From where I’m standing, your eyes would be on Kay;a above all else. You get the win on Kayla and you get the shot at the top and well...losing certainly doesn’t sound like fun for anyone...but especially you.”
“Then again...maybe you’re looking at me but not in the way I’d be looking at you looking at me. Because maybe you don’t care about WHAT you win just that you DO win...and a newer girl, an untested Diamond makes for perfect fodder, doesn’t it? I caution you not to take me so lightly, Mercedes, it won’t work out as well as you think.”
“Of course, maybe I’m wrong...but something tells me I’m being more than a little prophetic here. The thing with you arrogant types is that no matter what happens you’ll always BE arrogant. I may as well be a mouse in a trap compared to the likes of you. That’s the thing about mice, though, is that they’re crafty and resourceful.”
“You’re up against someone you had a rather unsuccesful tag team match up with a few weeks ago so who knows...could very well be some bad blood between you two that needs settling up...which would work out well for me...and that’s saying nothing of the fact that you’ve not had a good string of runs against Kayla here...so that’s just further fuel to your own fire, right? Where do I rate on that list, I wonder. Either I’m your first target because I’m clearly the weak link, the odd woman out, the whathaveyou...or I’m your leftovers after you settle your scores.”
“Either way...it works out well for me. I’ve got no ill will towards anyone nor they towards me...and that extends to this match. I’m the unpredictable element. If you focus on Emma and Kayla...I’m there to keep you from getting a victory...if you focus on ME then Emma and Kay;a are there to do the same...if not worse. To me, Mercedes, you’re in the worst position out of all of us in this match...the one I’d say has the least chance of walking out of Danger Zone with a victory.”
“And that’s not me being arrogant, that’s me trying to be all analytical and stuff.”
“Listen, ladies, all of you have something to gain from this match and I don’t expect any of you to give it up without a drawn out fight. And while I certainly stand to gain much AND intend on earning a third victory...what I don’t intend on doing is going down without a fight. Ask any of the names in my little book and they’ll tell you that I know a thing or two about resilience and stamina...which is a fun way of saying that I can go for as long as I need to to get what I want. And what I need.”
“And at Danger Zone...what I need is a first class ticket to Ireland. And I’m willing to pay any amount to get it.”
“I look forward to Kissing one of you. I’m not picky about who that is. See you ladies there.”
Well howdy there pardner.