Post by Eternity on Jul 24, 2013 20:59:24 GMT
Joe Everyman was the first ever Imperial Champion.
Jessica Reed was the first ever Diamonds Champion.
You couldn't help but smile as you read this splashed across the IWF.com Home page over pictures of the triumphant champions raising their respective belts in the air.
If there was one thing you loved even more than a good underdog story, it was a story of heart, a story of triumph, a story of overcoming the odds. As far as you were concerned two of the biggest underdogs in the company were triumphant at Lineage, you had watched it live on Pay Per View and even though it had been a couple of days since, you still wore the smile on your face.
Lineage had delivered everything you could have hoped for, you really couldn't imagine a more perfect ending, it was almost like a fairytale. Both Joe's and Jess' victories and the fact that they as underdogs were now at the very top of the company filled you with a sense of hope and a sense of optimism in your own life. Lineage was proof positive that there was still some honest and wholesome good left in this world, and that occasionally it could still triumph, and that occasionally your faith as a lifelong wrestling fan could still be rewarded.
These men and women were your heroes, and even as you scanned the roster page scanning the spread of Champions, it was not the thumbnails of any of them that caught your eye. It was the fact that Emma Danielson had been 'replaced' on the IWF Diamonds roster page.
You hadn't heard anything about the release of the Hardcore Hellion, in fact you were pretty sure that she'd been advertised to appear on the 29th July 2013 edition of Monday Night Sacrifice so now you were curious, and it was this curiousity that enticed you to move your mouse and click on the thumbnail of her 'replacement', hoping for some sort of explanation...
PRINCESS EMILY
As you clicked on the picture of "Princess Emily", it was consumed by flame and moments later your screen went black.
A male voiceover narrated the words as they come across your screen.
This chilling sentiment is punctuated by a childish innocent, girly laughter that you recognised instantly and even as the words evaporated in plumes of green smoke from your screen, the laughter still pierced your ears and echoed in your head.
You found me!
There is no hiding from you is there?
Well since you're here now, I have a surprise for you!
You see the same set up as before, Tiffany Jones is still bound to the chair, her clothes are still stained with her vomit and the only illumination in the small windowless room is a purple light. Princess Jessie and her never consumed plate of peas and Princess Kate are all still 'present' around the table, but noticeably absent was Princess Alison, though her place on the pink chair was still marked with her name in orange crayon.
I know I said I'd give her back, but I don't want to.
She's soooooo cute.
And I'm a big girl now, and big girls, like princesses, can do what they want.
And I want to keep Chloe so I will.
So there!
You see me turn Tiffany's chair slightly so her back is towards the table and her remaining royal dining companions. You see me then walk around the table and pick up Princess Alysson's empty chair and bring it around and put it down in front of the drowsy Tiffany. You see me sit down in front of the barely conscious young interviewer, with a sigh.
Aren't you tired of all this Chloe? Of course you are! Look at you, you're exhausted! And you know what, sister, I'm with you! I'm with you all the way! I too am so sick and tired of all this, but you know who isn't sick of any of this? Your big sister Kathy! She still wants to play! I dangle you in front of her like a piece of string and look at what she managed to accomplish. One week of pure unrelenting hatred for me and she's gone further in her career than she ever has before. One week of her focused rage on me has done more for her than five years of love, aren't you so proud of her? She's done so well, hasn't she?
We've seen her come this far together, why should we give up on her now? We shouldn't and we won't, because we love her don't we Chloe? We want to see her succeed, to hoist that title above her head and proudly proclaim herself the Diamonds World Champion. We all want to see that, don't we? Of course we do! Everybody loves a good story of redemption, don't they? Of some perpetual failure for once in his life managing to accomplish the impossible, look at Joe Everyman! He finally did it! He won the big one and I am still not convinced whether it was out of genuine skill or some fluky fluke that he has slain a dragon like Sexy Lexy to claim his crown, but soon we will find out. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon...
So many tests lie ahead, but such is life. Some people say life itself is a test, and if that's true, no wonder it sucks. All tests suck, nobody likes tests, do they? Especially when you know the end result, if life is a test it is a damned unimaginative one because the result is always the same. Death. At least when death tests you, its far more fun! Look at how much fun we're having Chloe!
Right now your resolve is being tested not by life, but by death. How long can you hold out, really? How long can you stave off death? Be honest, how many times in the past few days have you actually thought about licking up your own vomit, because as much as you don't want to live like this, you don't want to die like this even more!
I don't want you to die, Chloe!
Kathy doesn't want you to die...probably!
If she hasn't forgotten about you already!
Your sister is probably in some comfortable hotel room right now having consolation sex with Jakey Wakey because she thinks she's conquered Death, when in fact all she has done, apart from once again prove that her ambitions are far greater than her grasp, is evade and delay the inevitable. I know she can do so much better than this, you know she can do so much better than this...and if she really wants to stay in this game for the long haul, why should I deny her? Why should I call game over? So I won't. I can't. She's come so far, let's see if she can go a little further. To end this all now when we've been making such progress, well that would just be cruel...it would be cruel to let her take one solitary victory over me and let her live under the same delusions that plague so many wrestlers who think that just because they have done something once or twice that they can do it again and again on some sort of regular basis. Fostering that kind of ego and belief in a person is just cruel and one thing I am not is cruel.
You know that, right? Of course you do! I mean look at how well I've treated you since you arrived. I've been nothing but hospitable to you as my guest! You've been in the company of royalty for days now, and I bet it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and special inside doesn't it? As well it should! I've plucked you from your regular little life as Pippa Middleton, the forgotten sister and made you the star - the centre-piece, the globally trending Twitter topic. After hashtag I Believe In Everyman and hashtag Reed Wins, hashtag Where is Tiffany Jones is third! That's how popular you are!
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
You see me get up, lean forward and sniff Tiffany's hair, and then immediately respond by turning my face away and pinching my nose.
PEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!
Interviewers do make stinky pets, especially ones that are consolation prizes! You really need a bath!
You see me jump to my feet and excitedly run off camera only to return momentarily with a toy water blaster gun. You see me point and take aim before blasting Tiffany with it, and even in her barely conscious state and starved state, her natural survival instinct is to try and catch some of the water in her mouth, and knowing this you see me tease her with it.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH I LIKE THIS GAME!
HOW LONG DO I HAVE LEFT ON THE CLOCK GUYS?
You see me then abandon the water blaster and dash off camera only to return, moments later looking very disappointed.
Locked in and my team have no crystals! You suck guys! Especially you Ed Tudor-Pole! Bring back Richard O'Brien! He was sexy! A sexy bald man....mmmmmm!
You see me return to the chair, this time with a ten by eight photograph of "Princess Emily" in my hands.
I've got to get you cleaned up! Princess Emily wants to come over! She's a friend of Princess Alison who says she's so sorry she couldn't stay by the way, but I really think you'll like her! People say she can be a right ogre sometimes, but I've never seen it. She's been a bit cranky since her mommy died and she was only five! Very, very sad! My mommy died too, that's why I got this tattoo, to remind me of the first time I ever cried my heart out...
You see me point to the tattoo of a heart under my eye.
What?
What about Lorik?
He dumped me and went back to Albania!
Thanks for reminding me, you jerk face!
My mommy died too, but unlike Princess Emily, I didn't turn to drink. She's an awful alcoholic, she is! Some might even say raging!
You see me motion a beer bottle in the air and tip my head back.
Glug, Glug, Glug!
You see me then walk over and pick up the plate Princess Jessie's peas that had been out for days and udobtedly gone stale. You see me stand about four feet in front of a severly drained Tiffany.
If there's one thing she loves even more than a good stiff drink or five, it's a fight! Not that she's very good at it! Very sloppy! Swings like a big oaf at times and she's lost so much more than she's won. Still she insists she's a Queen or wants to be someday! Her friends did indulge her for a while, especially little Puss In Boots, for a while they were inseparable...then, then I don't know what happened. They started fighting. Fight, fight, fight...fight, fight fight...
THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW!
Princess Emily has proven very little about why she should ever be made Queen, the only thing she's ever proven is you don't have to be good at something to love doing it. Maybe they call her an ogre because she's just so green with jealousy and envy at all the shiny shiny gold around her that she can never seem to attain in spite of all her physical power and strength. Sometimes being the Goliath in a match isn't everything, Lineage proved that...look at Joe Everyman!
You see me pick up a single pea and flick it at Tiffany who musters what little strength she has to try and catch it in her mouth for basic sustenance. She misses....and the second, and the third, and the fourth, but catches the fifth which she hungrily swallows.
HOORAY!
LEBRON JAMES EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
I did learn one important thing from Emily though, and that is that in a world full of so many shiny shiny trinkets to attain, in a world of flocks and flocks of magpies like all the Princesses I have ever known, I'm not a magpie....
I'm a raven.
Kraa! Kraa! Kraaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
You see me flap my 'wings' and 'fly' in circles around Tiffany - plate of stale peas and all...
Jessica Reed was the first ever Diamonds Champion.
DREAMS CAN COME TRUE...
You couldn't help but smile as you read this splashed across the IWF.com Home page over pictures of the triumphant champions raising their respective belts in the air.
If there was one thing you loved even more than a good underdog story, it was a story of heart, a story of triumph, a story of overcoming the odds. As far as you were concerned two of the biggest underdogs in the company were triumphant at Lineage, you had watched it live on Pay Per View and even though it had been a couple of days since, you still wore the smile on your face.
Lineage had delivered everything you could have hoped for, you really couldn't imagine a more perfect ending, it was almost like a fairytale. Both Joe's and Jess' victories and the fact that they as underdogs were now at the very top of the company filled you with a sense of hope and a sense of optimism in your own life. Lineage was proof positive that there was still some honest and wholesome good left in this world, and that occasionally it could still triumph, and that occasionally your faith as a lifelong wrestling fan could still be rewarded.
These men and women were your heroes, and even as you scanned the roster page scanning the spread of Champions, it was not the thumbnails of any of them that caught your eye. It was the fact that Emma Danielson had been 'replaced' on the IWF Diamonds roster page.
You hadn't heard anything about the release of the Hardcore Hellion, in fact you were pretty sure that she'd been advertised to appear on the 29th July 2013 edition of Monday Night Sacrifice so now you were curious, and it was this curiousity that enticed you to move your mouse and click on the thumbnail of her 'replacement', hoping for some sort of explanation...
PRINCESS EMILY
As you clicked on the picture of "Princess Emily", it was consumed by flame and moments later your screen went black.
A male voiceover narrated the words as they come across your screen.
FOR SOME DREAMS DO INDEED COME TRUE
BUT FOR OTHERS THE NIGHTMARES NEVER END...
This chilling sentiment is punctuated by a childish innocent, girly laughter that you recognised instantly and even as the words evaporated in plumes of green smoke from your screen, the laughter still pierced your ears and echoed in your head.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You found me!
There is no hiding from you is there?
Well since you're here now, I have a surprise for you!
You see the same set up as before, Tiffany Jones is still bound to the chair, her clothes are still stained with her vomit and the only illumination in the small windowless room is a purple light. Princess Jessie and her never consumed plate of peas and Princess Kate are all still 'present' around the table, but noticeably absent was Princess Alison, though her place on the pink chair was still marked with her name in orange crayon.
I know I said I'd give her back, but I don't want to.
She's soooooo cute.
And I'm a big girl now, and big girls, like princesses, can do what they want.
And I want to keep Chloe so I will.
So there!
You see me turn Tiffany's chair slightly so her back is towards the table and her remaining royal dining companions. You see me then walk around the table and pick up Princess Alysson's empty chair and bring it around and put it down in front of the drowsy Tiffany. You see me sit down in front of the barely conscious young interviewer, with a sigh.
Aren't you tired of all this Chloe? Of course you are! Look at you, you're exhausted! And you know what, sister, I'm with you! I'm with you all the way! I too am so sick and tired of all this, but you know who isn't sick of any of this? Your big sister Kathy! She still wants to play! I dangle you in front of her like a piece of string and look at what she managed to accomplish. One week of pure unrelenting hatred for me and she's gone further in her career than she ever has before. One week of her focused rage on me has done more for her than five years of love, aren't you so proud of her? She's done so well, hasn't she?
We've seen her come this far together, why should we give up on her now? We shouldn't and we won't, because we love her don't we Chloe? We want to see her succeed, to hoist that title above her head and proudly proclaim herself the Diamonds World Champion. We all want to see that, don't we? Of course we do! Everybody loves a good story of redemption, don't they? Of some perpetual failure for once in his life managing to accomplish the impossible, look at Joe Everyman! He finally did it! He won the big one and I am still not convinced whether it was out of genuine skill or some fluky fluke that he has slain a dragon like Sexy Lexy to claim his crown, but soon we will find out. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon...
So many tests lie ahead, but such is life. Some people say life itself is a test, and if that's true, no wonder it sucks. All tests suck, nobody likes tests, do they? Especially when you know the end result, if life is a test it is a damned unimaginative one because the result is always the same. Death. At least when death tests you, its far more fun! Look at how much fun we're having Chloe!
Right now your resolve is being tested not by life, but by death. How long can you hold out, really? How long can you stave off death? Be honest, how many times in the past few days have you actually thought about licking up your own vomit, because as much as you don't want to live like this, you don't want to die like this even more!
I don't want you to die, Chloe!
Kathy doesn't want you to die...probably!
If she hasn't forgotten about you already!
Your sister is probably in some comfortable hotel room right now having consolation sex with Jakey Wakey because she thinks she's conquered Death, when in fact all she has done, apart from once again prove that her ambitions are far greater than her grasp, is evade and delay the inevitable. I know she can do so much better than this, you know she can do so much better than this...and if she really wants to stay in this game for the long haul, why should I deny her? Why should I call game over? So I won't. I can't. She's come so far, let's see if she can go a little further. To end this all now when we've been making such progress, well that would just be cruel...it would be cruel to let her take one solitary victory over me and let her live under the same delusions that plague so many wrestlers who think that just because they have done something once or twice that they can do it again and again on some sort of regular basis. Fostering that kind of ego and belief in a person is just cruel and one thing I am not is cruel.
You know that, right? Of course you do! I mean look at how well I've treated you since you arrived. I've been nothing but hospitable to you as my guest! You've been in the company of royalty for days now, and I bet it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and special inside doesn't it? As well it should! I've plucked you from your regular little life as Pippa Middleton, the forgotten sister and made you the star - the centre-piece, the globally trending Twitter topic. After hashtag I Believe In Everyman and hashtag Reed Wins, hashtag Where is Tiffany Jones is third! That's how popular you are!
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
You see me get up, lean forward and sniff Tiffany's hair, and then immediately respond by turning my face away and pinching my nose.
PEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!
Interviewers do make stinky pets, especially ones that are consolation prizes! You really need a bath!
You see me jump to my feet and excitedly run off camera only to return momentarily with a toy water blaster gun. You see me point and take aim before blasting Tiffany with it, and even in her barely conscious state and starved state, her natural survival instinct is to try and catch some of the water in her mouth, and knowing this you see me tease her with it.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH I LIKE THIS GAME!
HOW LONG DO I HAVE LEFT ON THE CLOCK GUYS?
You see me then abandon the water blaster and dash off camera only to return, moments later looking very disappointed.
Locked in and my team have no crystals! You suck guys! Especially you Ed Tudor-Pole! Bring back Richard O'Brien! He was sexy! A sexy bald man....mmmmmm!
You see me return to the chair, this time with a ten by eight photograph of "Princess Emily" in my hands.
I've got to get you cleaned up! Princess Emily wants to come over! She's a friend of Princess Alison who says she's so sorry she couldn't stay by the way, but I really think you'll like her! People say she can be a right ogre sometimes, but I've never seen it. She's been a bit cranky since her mommy died and she was only five! Very, very sad! My mommy died too, that's why I got this tattoo, to remind me of the first time I ever cried my heart out...
You see me point to the tattoo of a heart under my eye.
What?
What about Lorik?
He dumped me and went back to Albania!
Thanks for reminding me, you jerk face!
My mommy died too, but unlike Princess Emily, I didn't turn to drink. She's an awful alcoholic, she is! Some might even say raging!
You see me motion a beer bottle in the air and tip my head back.
Glug, Glug, Glug!
You see me then walk over and pick up the plate Princess Jessie's peas that had been out for days and udobtedly gone stale. You see me stand about four feet in front of a severly drained Tiffany.
If there's one thing she loves even more than a good stiff drink or five, it's a fight! Not that she's very good at it! Very sloppy! Swings like a big oaf at times and she's lost so much more than she's won. Still she insists she's a Queen or wants to be someday! Her friends did indulge her for a while, especially little Puss In Boots, for a while they were inseparable...then, then I don't know what happened. They started fighting. Fight, fight, fight...fight, fight fight...
THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW!
Princess Emily has proven very little about why she should ever be made Queen, the only thing she's ever proven is you don't have to be good at something to love doing it. Maybe they call her an ogre because she's just so green with jealousy and envy at all the shiny shiny gold around her that she can never seem to attain in spite of all her physical power and strength. Sometimes being the Goliath in a match isn't everything, Lineage proved that...look at Joe Everyman!
You see me pick up a single pea and flick it at Tiffany who musters what little strength she has to try and catch it in her mouth for basic sustenance. She misses....and the second, and the third, and the fourth, but catches the fifth which she hungrily swallows.
HOORAY!
LEBRON JAMES EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
I did learn one important thing from Emily though, and that is that in a world full of so many shiny shiny trinkets to attain, in a world of flocks and flocks of magpies like all the Princesses I have ever known, I'm not a magpie....
I'm a raven.
Kraa! Kraa! Kraaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
You see me flap my 'wings' and 'fly' in circles around Tiffany - plate of stale peas and all...
Well howdy there pardner.