Post by Tifa Heafy on Jul 27, 2013 16:37:58 GMT
"Six nights ago someone reached their dream. Six nights ago I saw a bubbly blonde who loves to dress up as video game and comic book characters reach her dream of becoming a champion. Six nights ago you saw me glomp said bubbly blonde and roll around with her a little bit. Six nights ago Jessica Reed became the Diamonds champion and no one in the arena was more thrilled, happy and excited for her then I was.
To see my best friend win the biggest women's title in the world is amazing. You all saw it too. While I beat Emma Danielson, Jess was out there beatin' bitches like they owed her a dollar. I beat them like they owed me two! I mean there's no doubt about it that right now N.E.R.D. is the most awesome thing about the Diamonds division here in IWF. N.E.R.D. will continue to be on top and do you know why?
Because we are too fugging awesome to not be awesome!
I'm so excited I can barely keep my clothes on right now! Wait, that doesn't seem like the right response at all. Oh well, I guess now you know that anyways. This coming Monday night I do what I do and that is to get into that ole ring, even though its a square, and wrestle against some of the best competition that this world has to offer. No filler here in IWF, we're all killaz. I mean 2Pac don't have crap on us!
Well, that and we're alive and 2Pac is supposedly dead anyways...
Monday night is a big six person tag match. On one side you got the IWF Imperial Champion, Joe Everyman. You got the monster that loves to inflict pain for the lolz, Lex Sense. Then you have the cutest girl on the roster, me!!!! On the other side we have the tag team champions of Spikey Kane and Robby Diamond. Don't know why they're called InFamous really as they are very famous.
Can't go down the street some days without seeing a teenage boy in an InFamous shirt telling people to suck it. I find that very vuglar but still you boys are awfully famous to not be InFamous! Change yo' damn name! The two of you really good though. I mean World Titles, other titles, hall of fames and everything in between. I bet you'd probably share the same ring rats too!
Though that'd be weird in Spikey's case...
Yeah, Freya told me I can call you Spikey so nyah! I wish I could actually mix it up against the two of you fellas in the ring and everything but the rules tell me I cannot. So you know what? TO HELL WITH THE RULES! I'LL WEAR A FAKE PENIS!
And I just made this really awkward...
I think I'll just stick with wrestling Ayla St. James again. Last time we met, Ayla, you became best friends with the bottom of my boot and got your blonde face kicked off into next week! Then it came back and all was right with the world. My best friend, Ayla, beat your best friend on the pay per view. I think that means nothing in the scheme of us but I just wanted to brag a bit more about having my bestie as the Diamond's champion.
I threw her a big party by the way. A party that you probably wished would've been for Alysson. We had cake, ice cream, video games and cosplay for hours on end! It was a lot of fun. I got my face painted to look like Harley Quinn. It was nice, Ayla. Rather funny too that someone commented that acting like a bubbly Harley Quinn meant I was still a better actress then you were. I thought it was hilarious.
I told Jess and we had a huge laugh about it too. Though for how bad of an actress you were, you make up for it with your wrestling ability at least. Every time I'm in the ring with you we entertain the people. If you weren't such a bitch, Ayla, I'm sure we'd be friends I wouldn't have to make jokes at your expense. If you weren't such a bitch we'd probably enjoy going shopping sometime.
As it stands you are a total and utter meanie pants and I don't like that. I've taken care of you once already and I'll keep doing it over and over again. Of course there's always the chance that you might beat me in this match too but the men might even let us get into the ring either which would really suck.
Big six person. I cannot wait for it. So let's go team!"
To see my best friend win the biggest women's title in the world is amazing. You all saw it too. While I beat Emma Danielson, Jess was out there beatin' bitches like they owed her a dollar. I beat them like they owed me two! I mean there's no doubt about it that right now N.E.R.D. is the most awesome thing about the Diamonds division here in IWF. N.E.R.D. will continue to be on top and do you know why?
Because we are too fugging awesome to not be awesome!
I'm so excited I can barely keep my clothes on right now! Wait, that doesn't seem like the right response at all. Oh well, I guess now you know that anyways. This coming Monday night I do what I do and that is to get into that ole ring, even though its a square, and wrestle against some of the best competition that this world has to offer. No filler here in IWF, we're all killaz. I mean 2Pac don't have crap on us!
Well, that and we're alive and 2Pac is supposedly dead anyways...
Monday night is a big six person tag match. On one side you got the IWF Imperial Champion, Joe Everyman. You got the monster that loves to inflict pain for the lolz, Lex Sense. Then you have the cutest girl on the roster, me!!!! On the other side we have the tag team champions of Spikey Kane and Robby Diamond. Don't know why they're called InFamous really as they are very famous.
Can't go down the street some days without seeing a teenage boy in an InFamous shirt telling people to suck it. I find that very vuglar but still you boys are awfully famous to not be InFamous! Change yo' damn name! The two of you really good though. I mean World Titles, other titles, hall of fames and everything in between. I bet you'd probably share the same ring rats too!
Though that'd be weird in Spikey's case...
Yeah, Freya told me I can call you Spikey so nyah! I wish I could actually mix it up against the two of you fellas in the ring and everything but the rules tell me I cannot. So you know what? TO HELL WITH THE RULES! I'LL WEAR A FAKE PENIS!
And I just made this really awkward...
I think I'll just stick with wrestling Ayla St. James again. Last time we met, Ayla, you became best friends with the bottom of my boot and got your blonde face kicked off into next week! Then it came back and all was right with the world. My best friend, Ayla, beat your best friend on the pay per view. I think that means nothing in the scheme of us but I just wanted to brag a bit more about having my bestie as the Diamond's champion.
I threw her a big party by the way. A party that you probably wished would've been for Alysson. We had cake, ice cream, video games and cosplay for hours on end! It was a lot of fun. I got my face painted to look like Harley Quinn. It was nice, Ayla. Rather funny too that someone commented that acting like a bubbly Harley Quinn meant I was still a better actress then you were. I thought it was hilarious.
I told Jess and we had a huge laugh about it too. Though for how bad of an actress you were, you make up for it with your wrestling ability at least. Every time I'm in the ring with you we entertain the people. If you weren't such a bitch, Ayla, I'm sure we'd be friends I wouldn't have to make jokes at your expense. If you weren't such a bitch we'd probably enjoy going shopping sometime.
As it stands you are a total and utter meanie pants and I don't like that. I've taken care of you once already and I'll keep doing it over and over again. Of course there's always the chance that you might beat me in this match too but the men might even let us get into the ring either which would really suck.
Big six person. I cannot wait for it. So let's go team!"
-----
Tifa finds herself storming about a poor hotel room. A few pictures are crooked, a chair is flipped over and Kevin is just sitting on the bed shaking his head. Tifa's face is a shade of bright red, furious over something. The young woman looks right into her future husband's eyes and glares daggers at him.
Tifa: Why aren't you more upset about this?!
Kevin shrugs his shoulders. Tifa hops up onto the bed and stands over him.
Tifa: You don't care that my big sis nearly ruined a fantastic relationship between two awesome people!? How can you be so heartless?
Kevin: I'm not being heartless. They stayed together and got engaged. All's well that end's well.
Tifa: You serious bro? My big sis is refusing to talk to anyone in the Kane or Heafy family right now cuz of this. Yet you sit there lookin' all macho sexy not caring at all!
Kevin: Like I said, they still stayed together so I don't really see the big deal about all of it. Sisters fight, friends fight and people fight. Give it a few weeks and it'll all blow over and everything will be fine.
Those words do nothing to ease Tifa's rage filled mind. She tries not to scream outloud before jumping up and down on the bed to upset Kevin's peaceful state.
Tifa: Oh I'm sorry is this bothering you?
He smirks knowing she wants to play this game.
Kevin: Not at all. You know misplacing your anger is very unhealthy right?
More rage from the normally bubbly Tifa. She stops jumping and instead stands over Kevin's face.
Kevin: I can see your panties.
Tifa: I'm tryin' to fart on you, shut up!
Kevin: You know I like it kinky.
Tifa's face becomes an even brighter shade of red now trying not to explode into thousands of little pieces leaving blood all over the wall.
Kevin: Well come on princess...
Tifa: I can't! I haven't ate anything today. Let me get some food first and then it's totally happening! Just you wait mister, just you wait. I shall unleash such gasses that you'll wish you had a gas mask.
Kevin: Or, and just follow me on this, I can get my own room and let you sit in here in your own stink.
Narrowing of the eyes time. Tifa gets off of the bed and sits down still all frustrated about what's happened with her sister this week. Kevin sighs and knows he has to be the caring guy now.
Kevin: Listen, Tif, everything will be fine. Your sister is still dealing with her fiance walking out on her a couple months back. It's a hard pill to swallow for anyone. I mean how would you deal with me walking out on you? You'd be in a weird place too. Then you have a baby and no one to help you take care of three kids.
Tifa: Freya does just fine. She didn't act like this after her divorce!
Kevin: Everyone's different. Your sister has lost everyone she's cared about. Just give her some time and space, alright?
Tifa sighs and nods her head before hugging Kevin. His wise words always seem to make her feel more at peace. Suppose that's why she is with him in the first place. The ying and yang of life. Tifa smiles a little bit.
Tifa: I am hungry though...
Kevin: Well let's go get some lunch then, Tif. Freya's already in town too so we might as well get her too.
Tifa: Sounds great. Although she probably won't shut up about Cameron. I hate people that go on about stuff for hours on end.
Kevin face palms pretty hard before chuckling. Tifa obviously doesn't get what he just said at all but shrugs her shoulders anyways. It is lunch time so off they go to eat!
Well howdy there pardner.