Post by Jessica Reed on Jul 27, 2013 18:33:52 GMT
Rain slowly trickles down on the car windshield, the wipers sweeping back and forth in a futile effort to remove the raindrops from view. Roberto Verona stares stoically out into the distance as they approach a built up area, the sign saying “ Welcome to Pittsburgh”, the with the latter crossed out to be replaced by the word “Hell”. Jess pays little attention; instead she rummages through a few old documents, pulling them to look at before a smile runs across her lips.
Jessica Reed: These old photos are really neat. Look at this one, I can’t believe they kept it! Me and Kat celebrating after my big title win, you know she was a lot more humble than guys ever gave her credit for. In her darkest hour and my finest moment she was woman enough to drink tequila with me and dance the night away.
Roberto Verona: She was a misunderstood woman, now she’s…
Jessica Reed: A creepy deformed clicker thingy?
Roberto Verona: Yes… only with a little more tact. This is why we never invited you to dinner ceremonies.
Jessica Reed: You and Hannah?
Roberto pauses for a second, reminiscing, before shaking his head and looking out at the road as the pair drive into Philadelphia. Hannah breaks the awkward silence by rummaging around a little more in the boxes they collected from the Ace.
Jessica Reed: Hey, Berto, what’s this? It looks like a map, but it’s got girls names over the country’s names…
Verona looks back and then suddenly gulps nervously.
Roberto Verona: That was, erm, Jake’s “World Sex Map” from before he met Kathy…
Jessica Reed: Really? He had sex with a Guatemalan named Maria and an Austrian named Hildebrand?
Roberto Verona: I guess before he found love he was aiming for the Genghis Khan gene pool award.
Jessica Reed: I guess the photos are pretty cute and a little less creepy… what do you think this stain is?
Roberto Verona: I… erm… well Ace had a bit of a problem…
Jessica’s eyes suddenly open wide as she rolls down the window and throws the map out.
Jessica Reed: Eww! You couldn’t have told me that before I touched it!
Roberto Verona: It was brandy! What the hell did you think it was?
Jessica Reed: Baby glue!
Roberto Verona: What!? Ugh… just… listen, this place is dangerous, we need to be on guard for anything that looks even remotely out of place, got that?
Jessica Reed: So, does that mean I can have a gun?
Roberto Verona: No.
Jessica Reed: But what if I get bitten!?
Roberto Verona: You’re immune.
Jessica Reed: What if two bite me?
Roberto Verona: No.
Jessica Reed: What if-
Roberto Verona: No! Don’t make me come back there!
Jessica Reed: Ugh, this is unbelievable… don’t you trust me? After all we’ve just been through?
Roberto Verona: Hell no.
As the pair continue arguing suddenly Jessica lunges forward with an outstretched finger pointing dead ahead. Verona turns and realises that his lack of attention has directed them straight toward an old liquor store and as he tries to brake in vain the pair crash through the main doors and smash through the shelves before coming to a violent halt. Verona is hunched over the steering wheel as Jess sits up, clutching her head, blood beginning to trickle down her forehead as she hears voices from outside. She begins to panic, leaning over and shaking Verona who remains motionless.
Jessica Reed: Berto! Wake up! Please! Somebody is coming!
Jess shakes him again, harder this time as he starts to groan and show at least some signs of life.
Jessica Reed: Please don’t leave me! I swear I’ll stop asking for a gun just wake up!
Verona lets out a pain filled moan, picking himself up as he squeezes his eyes together, trying to shake off the fog which has transcended over them. Jess turns to see figures forming in the smoke which blankets the chaos of their unexpected arrival and Verona turns to notice them himself.
Roberto Verona: Shit… I was worried about this…
Jessica Reed: Oh Berto! Thank God! Don’t ever do that to me again!
Roberto Verona: Jess, get out of the car, quickly…
Jessica Reed: Why… w-who are they!?
Roberto lets out a sigh tinged with reluctant acceptance.
Roberto Verona: The I.W.C….
Oh. Em. Gee!
I still can’t quite believe it… after years and years of dreaming, finally everything came true! I am the first ever Diamond’s champion, just like I always wanted to be! But honestly, that night couldn’t have been so special if it wasn’t for the three other girls involved who made it the spectacle it was just as much as me. Thank you to my partner this week, Alysson and even you Eternity… but we really need to talk about how you make friends, ok?
I learnt so much from my battles with two of the most experienced women on the roster and now I have a memory that absolutely nobody, however grinchy and mean spirited they are, can ever take away from me.
The night I beat two veterans on the same day to become the champion.
Squee! I am shaking again!
Jessica does a little dance of excitement to let out some energy.
I don’t know if it’s the tequila or just a rush but damn this feels so good, it is everything they said it would be! Dream big guys, it’s totally worth it!
But, I guess I can’t live in the past forever, although that would be totally awesome, I’d be like a busty Arty McFly without the incest! I think the DVD player would appreciate a rest from the constant re-runs of that special night, so I’ll get back to the present and focus on my next challenge!
I suppose congratulations are in order for the first lady on my list!
Well done, Amber, you must be absolutely thrilled. This must be a life changing moment for you and I can’t possibly imagine how proud you are. Can I just ask you one thing? It’s pretty important for the gift I pick out for you.
Is it a boy or a girl?
Muffled voice.
What do you mean she isn’t pregnant?
Amber specifically said that the only reason she isn’t the Diamond’s champion is because she was late… like… you know… late. Really? She really just means it’s because she was late to sign a contract? Did Angel forget to put a stamp on it or something? Hey, wait a minute, wasn’t she in the invitational to replace Ryleigh four or five weeks ago? Oh! She was the prudish one!
Gotcha. Damn, you’re really just a big ole sassy sour puss.
I got all excited for nothing, sheesh, thanks a lot Amber. Stop it with your vague mixed messages, you’re making us all look really stupid, do you realise that? We could have been throwing you a baby shower with presents and ice cream and now what? You’ve spoiled it for everyone! I am going to have to uninvite everybody from “Amber’s Announcement Meeting” on Facebook now. Although that is probably a good thing, people kept telling me to hang in there and beat the demon bottle.
Creepers.
Anyways, I guess I should say well done on the whole Ruby victory, I mean that is pretty neat. I know it’s not quite the Diamond’s Championship but it’s a pretty prestigious prize in itself, I know I would treat it like a consolation prize. After all, there won’t be an Heiress to the Throne tournament every month to get a shot at this little number over my shoulder.
Not that you seem to have spent much time saying how proud you are… heck you spent most of the week saying how Kathy sucks and I am a placeholder champion. Silly sausage, you shouldn’t keep measuring yourself against your colleagues.
Come to think of it… you were just being pretty mean.
What was it you called me? A bubble brained moron? Bertie’s clumsy special ed student? Ouchies, Amber, that’s just not very nice, what did I ever do to you? Geeze, there’s no need to be so hurtful, heck, even my love of geek culture is apparently unacceptable to you because one other girl on the planet happened to like it and also wrestled.
Newsflash, there’s more than one of us packing ovaries at conventions and we all have different personalities, we’re not all arrogant egobots like so many people who get a bit of gold become. There’s no need to be a hater. It’s just really petty and childish, I thought we’d all grown out of this…
You’re just a…a big, smelly, grumble fish. There! I said it!
I hope you’re proud of yourself, reducing me to that. I’m really sorry to those watching at home. I’m just getting mad now, I’d best move onto Miss Fenix before any more profanities.
Commiserations Tara, I know it must suck ass to have to watch your tag team parade your belt whilst you have nothing to show for your hard work, despite avoiding the pinfall yourself. You were so close and that little golden snitch came and stole it from you!
That’s practically daylight robbery, you ought go see my sister about it.
Damn this Amber really is a no good double crossing trickster! Ok, easy Jess, just breathe…
Jess closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again.
That’s better; my yoga instructor taught me that technique. Oddly enough he taught me the head scissors and other things too, guess it’s pretty hard being a wrestling instructor these days. Where was I? Oh, yes! Tara!
Look, I think it’s pretty obvious I have no problems with you Miss Fenix, honestly, I don’t really hate anybody around here and I find it really difficult to understand all the backstage politics that go on. Girls are nice to each other and all nicey nicey, then they’re betraying them with a steel chair to the back or a piledriver through a table.
It put’s my lil ole noggin’ into a spin. Why can’t we just all be friends?
You’re a good wrestler, Tara. I mean, I sat and watching you capture that Ruby championship and nail your name in the record books for-like-ever and it was really inspiring to see how much that meant to you. Not that I needed motivating any further, but seeing girls like you achieve things made me believe in myself.
And well, now I am Diamond’s champion, which is so damn awesome!
It was my dream to capture this belt and now, it is my responsibility to represent this whole division to the best of my abilities and show exactly what us girls can do. This is getting a little bit girl powery but gosh darn it, it's time for women like you and me to show everybody that we can go just as hard as the men!
Oh come on, knock it off your perverts.
It was my dream to capture this belt and now, it is my responsibility to represent this whole division to the best of my abilities and show exactly what us girls can do. This is getting a little bit girl powery but gosh darn it, it's time for women like you and me to show everybody that we can go just as hard as the men!
Oh come on, knock it off your perverts.
Perhaps you hit a bit of a road bump last week but if I took anything from your chase for the belt it was that you’re one damn determined lil chicka and if you’re going to get that Ruby back, I am totally on Team Tara.
We could make t-shirts and everything!
This week, well, I guess the whole Tara fandom will be a little awkward given that we have to slap each other about and stuff but hey, we’re both professionals, I’ve always believed that what happens between the moments that bell rings should be forgotten about when we hit the back.
So, how about it, Tara?
We go out, there show the world what we’re all made of, make this company proud of its Diamond division, make a few memories, you get on the road to glory again and then just ditch the melodrama and leave the cheerleaders in the back to their silly little games whilst we celebrate to close out the show?
This Sunday it is party time and the ice cream is on me!
Off camera laughter.
Oh you guys are just unbelievable! Just because of that one out take when I spilt Ben & Jerry’s on my boobs by mistake! Gah!
We re-join our troubled heroes as they rush from the smoking wreckage of their cars to find the nearest cover as the sound of footsteps grows ever louder. Jessica rushes behind a counter and is quickly follow by Roberto just in the nick of time.
Jessica Reed: What is the I.W.C!?
Verona slams his back up against the counter, trying to get his breath back.
Roberto Verona: The Internet Wrestling Community.
Jessica Reed: How the Hershies did they survive the apocalypse?
Roberto Verona: Think about. They live in a basement, surrounded by Mountain Dew and Doritos, ignored by humanity, are excessively aggressive and unable to handle how the infected “went over” humanity. If anybody is going to survive the outside world going to shit, it’s them.
Jessica Reed: Don’t these guys worship you?
Roberto Verona: Well, yeah, I was a heel, but we’re all kinda tweeners now…
A loud bang can suddenly be heard as a grunt slams the car door shut in frustration.
I.W.C. Grunt 1: Where the fuck are they?
I.W.C. Grunt 2: I don’t fucking know you butt clown, do I look like I can see in the God damn dark. Jack off.
I.W.C. Grunt 1: Hey, go fuck yourself. Look over there and see if you can find these dickwads…
Jessica and Roberto huddle closer together and begin to whisper.
Jessica Reed: Geez, do they always talk to one another like this? They could fill a swears jar in a matter of seconds.
Roberto Verona: Pretty much. Can you reach that brick?
Jessica Reed: I think so, but I’ve got a better idea.
Roberto Verona: No, Jess, just grab...
Roberto facepalms as Jess picks herself up and starts waving at the two men who have entered the building, shotguns in their hands.
Jessica Reed: Hey guys!
Roberto Verona: What the hell are you doing!?
Jessica Reed: I got this… listen I heard you guys enjoy…erm, enjoyed… pro wrestling?
I.W.C. Grunt 2: Who the fuck is she?
Jessica Reed: If you both put down those bang bang sticks me and my friend would be glad to sign a few autographs, maybe take a few photographs and then we could be on our merry way?
The two grunts stare at one another before suddenly, a light bulb, miraculously, comes on in one of their heads.
I.W.C. Grunt 1: That’s the fucking Zelda clone plastic Barbie doll they shoved down our throats!
I.W.C. Grunt 2: You’ve got to be shitting me…
Suddenly Roberto grabs Jess and yanks her down behind the counter just as the flash of powder erupts from both shotguns and shrapnel and pieces of debris fly over the pairs heads. Jess screams and covers her head as Verona turns and points his head over the counter, pulling the trigger of his hand gun which sends a bullet ripping through one of the grunts kneecaps, much to his misery. Verona ducks back down as the other begins to reload feverishly, almost dropping his ammunition.
Jessica Reed: What is wrong with these people!?
Roberto Verona: You’re a babyface! You’re their natural enemy!
The sound of a second lot of gunfire pierces through the air temporarily drowning out the screams of the injured man as Verona leaps up, this time putting a bullet through the uninjured grunts skull as the other pulls the trigger of his shotgun but luckily misses Verona entirely. Roberto hopes over the counter and grabs the end of the shotgun, yanking it out of his hands as he stands on the man’s wound.
I.W.C. Grunt 1: Son of a bitch!
Roberto Verona: How many of you are there!?
Verona puts more pressure on the wound.
Roberto Verona: How. Many.
I.W.C. Grunt 1: Fuck dude, the city is crawling with us man…
Roberto shakes his head and grunts angrily before flipping the shotgun and smashing it into the man’s temple to leave him unconscious. He stands up and aims the barrel at the grunt’s skull when Jess rushes and grabs the gun herself.
Jessica Reed: No! You can’t just kill him!
Roberto Verona: He knows who we are, Jess, thanks to your little stunt back there. If we don’t do this they’ll know exactly who to look for and they won’t stop til they have our bodies.
Jessica Reed: Can’t you just bring him with us?
Roberto Verona: You want me to carry a 300lb man across Philadelphia?
Jessica Reed: Well, we can’t just murder him!
Roberto Verona: Why not?
Jessica Reed: Because, you’re a good man! Underneath all that stupid bravado deep down you’re not a total dingus. Please…
Verona sighs, shaking his head as he lifts the barrel up.
Roberto Verona: Fine. Just… don’t ever, ever do that again, do you hear me? You’ll get us both killed.
Jessica Reed: Yes, whatever you say captain my captain, can we please just get out of here, I think the last one was aiming at my boobs.
Verona points to a broken window leading into a back alley as he picks up some ammunition along the way as the pair make their way out of the chaos just as a squadron of five grunts descends on the building, left to find the chaos for themselves as we fade to black.
Well howdy there pardner.