Post by Jayson Matthews on Feb 6, 2017 5:40:59 GMT
We open up on Jayson Matthews sneezing a mighty sneeze into his hands and then he wipes them on a towel and blows his nose. His eyes were red and puffy and he had pulsing headache. His chest was congested and his throat was killing him.
“I'm sick.”
He says as he wipes away his sniffling nose. His voice was raspy and scratched.
“But I love wrestling....and I love all of you.”
More importantly he wanted to make up for being late last week, and the times he didn't show up but the flu has come and infiltrated his body. He nearly falls over but he realizes and rights himself.
“So I'm just going to do a promo and go die....I mean go to sleep.....maybe both?”
Jayson fantasizes how death would bring the sweet release of this stuffy nose.
“So this week on Sacrifice.....AH-CHOO!”
He shakes his head as snot oozes out of his hand.
“How is there this much snot coming out of there?”
His voice muffled and achey behind the tissues he used to wipe his nose.
“I won't let a little flu stop me from getting my point across. I mean basically, I don't hate Jimmy Zane or Buck Spencer, but this Sacrifice I plan on downing a bottle of dayquil if i'm still sick and then walking into Sacrifice and punching those guys in the face. Like Jimmy Zane.....the second generation superstar....dude was born in this business. Been in it all his life probably...but heres the thing-AH-CHOO COUGH WHEEZE oh god.....”
He blows his nose and chugs some orange juice.
“sniffle sniffle and that's cool but I can't let something like that psyche me out in our match Zane. I'll tell you what could psyche me out in our match and that's your crazy split personality thing that you got going on. It's like the movie Split by M night shyamalon except the twist is both personalities are just you sounding like raving lunatic and you showing up to the ring with more rust then one of the stripped cars sitting in Buck Spencer's front yard. I mean dude, what happened to the old Jimmy Zane that was actually cool and didn't sound like an idiot. I'm sorry, maybe the cold medicine is making me a little snarky but I miss the old Jimmy Zane that you secretly thought was really cool but you were too embarassed to tell your friends because you knew they would make fun of you.
He points to the camera,
“That's the Zane I want to face. Not damn double mint twins Jimmy Zane. You bring the badass athlete and second generation star Jimmy Zane. I'm not down with buy one get one free Jimmy Zane. If you don't bring the cool Jimmy, then dude....you just suck and are depriving me of things that I like.....or something....”
Jayson rubs his head and clenches his eyes through the pain.
“and then there is Buck Spencer.....the runnin rebel.....where you running too? The rebel store?”
Jayson groans, mostly over the pains in his head, neck and back, but partially to the horrible joke.
“Ughhh my head is killing me guys. I'm sick, but I just wanted to post a promo before I leave this Earth and die in my bed. This week when I step into the ring with you two guys I'm going to show you that I'm starting to learn so much from being in Coach Nighthawks class and I plan on showing you guys exactly what it is I have been learning and I'm going to give you the worst ass kicking you'll get in your life.
He sneezes again and the shrugs his shoulders.
“Or at the very least I'll give you the flu.”
“I'm sick.”
He says as he wipes away his sniffling nose. His voice was raspy and scratched.
“But I love wrestling....and I love all of you.”
More importantly he wanted to make up for being late last week, and the times he didn't show up but the flu has come and infiltrated his body. He nearly falls over but he realizes and rights himself.
“So I'm just going to do a promo and go die....I mean go to sleep.....maybe both?”
Jayson fantasizes how death would bring the sweet release of this stuffy nose.
“So this week on Sacrifice.....AH-CHOO!”
He shakes his head as snot oozes out of his hand.
“How is there this much snot coming out of there?”
His voice muffled and achey behind the tissues he used to wipe his nose.
“I won't let a little flu stop me from getting my point across. I mean basically, I don't hate Jimmy Zane or Buck Spencer, but this Sacrifice I plan on downing a bottle of dayquil if i'm still sick and then walking into Sacrifice and punching those guys in the face. Like Jimmy Zane.....the second generation superstar....dude was born in this business. Been in it all his life probably...but heres the thing-AH-CHOO COUGH WHEEZE oh god.....”
He blows his nose and chugs some orange juice.
“sniffle sniffle and that's cool but I can't let something like that psyche me out in our match Zane. I'll tell you what could psyche me out in our match and that's your crazy split personality thing that you got going on. It's like the movie Split by M night shyamalon except the twist is both personalities are just you sounding like raving lunatic and you showing up to the ring with more rust then one of the stripped cars sitting in Buck Spencer's front yard. I mean dude, what happened to the old Jimmy Zane that was actually cool and didn't sound like an idiot. I'm sorry, maybe the cold medicine is making me a little snarky but I miss the old Jimmy Zane that you secretly thought was really cool but you were too embarassed to tell your friends because you knew they would make fun of you.
He points to the camera,
“That's the Zane I want to face. Not damn double mint twins Jimmy Zane. You bring the badass athlete and second generation star Jimmy Zane. I'm not down with buy one get one free Jimmy Zane. If you don't bring the cool Jimmy, then dude....you just suck and are depriving me of things that I like.....or something....”
Jayson rubs his head and clenches his eyes through the pain.
“and then there is Buck Spencer.....the runnin rebel.....where you running too? The rebel store?”
Jayson groans, mostly over the pains in his head, neck and back, but partially to the horrible joke.
“Ughhh my head is killing me guys. I'm sick, but I just wanted to post a promo before I leave this Earth and die in my bed. This week when I step into the ring with you two guys I'm going to show you that I'm starting to learn so much from being in Coach Nighthawks class and I plan on showing you guys exactly what it is I have been learning and I'm going to give you the worst ass kicking you'll get in your life.
He sneezes again and the shrugs his shoulders.
“Or at the very least I'll give you the flu.”
Well howdy there pardner.