Post by "Positively" Patricia Powers on Feb 17, 2017 8:26:45 GMT
We open up to a big clearing in the middle of the forest. Standing in the middle of the clearing were two men. One was a slender man, looked like he may have been twenty five, twenty six, and he was continuously glancing up toward the sky holding a stop watch. The other was a stocky, over weight man with his head hung low and his hands stuffed into his pocket. He wasn't sure who the man was out in the woods with him or who he was supposed to meet up with while they were out here....but he's tried everything else.
But he had to admit it seemed odd.
“Is this normal?”
The man asked, after what seemed like hours of silence. The other man just stared at him for a moment or two,
“Oh, you mean meeting in the middle of the woods?”
The man with the stop watch said with a chuckle.
“Absolutely not.”
His eyes dart back up toward the sky but when he noticed it was a false alarm he looked back down at the man he shared the clearing with.
“But she isn't normal.”
The stocky gentlemen glances around his surroundings again.
“No offense but where the heck is she? Mister.....I dont even know your name....
The man with the stop watch looks at the time again.
“It's Gregg Jennings, and she should be here any minute, just be patient.”
Gregg chuckles and slaps the guy on the chest.
Gregg Jennings: “See what I did there? Eh it's doctor humor, you wouldn't get it.”
The stocky man just shakes his head.
“I can't believe I'm out here. Man, this better work, I've tried everything else.”
The man turns and looks at Gregg and asks him.
“Do you believe in this crazy stuff? Is it legit, or are you just a bunch of quacks taking my money?”
Gregg rubs the small soul patch on his chin as he thinks about the answer. He decides to level with the guy.
Gregg Jennings: It might be a little bit of both honestly.....look when I took this job I didn't believe it either. But I've seen some things....and now, well I don't know. You'll just have to talk to her and see what happens bro.”
The guy looks around the clearing, and just as he thought, still nobody.
“And when will I be able to actually do that?”
Gregg watches the timer tick down.
Gregg Jennings: Right.....about.....now.
HUUUUUUZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Just then a lady comes flying down to the ground with a parachute, tucks and rolls with the landing, unhooks the back pack and stands straight up with her stylish business pants suit unwrinkled all in one impressive fluid motion.
“Positively” Patricia Powers: Please write down that I struck the landing, Gregg. I want it to say “graceful as a crane” and I want it written in cursive writing because it looks fancy!
IWF Womens tournament stuff in order? Good, send everyone over there a cactus as a thank you for including me in there Diamond in the Rough tournament and.....wow-
IWF Womens tournament stuff in order? Good, send everyone over there a cactus as a thank you for including me in there Diamond in the Rough tournament and.....wow-
Gregg immediately does what he's asked to do. Patricia eyes the stocky man standing there looking at her in shock
“Positively” Patricia Powers: This must be him. Let's see......fat......oily.....gross, YOU POOR THING!!!
She rushes over to his side and grabs his hand and dramatically stares into his eyes.
“Positively” Patricia Powers: You must really hate yourself. Well I'm here to make you love yourself once again! With the “Powers of Positivity” program you can finally believe in yourself again, and not be the disgusting slob you see yourself as today.
The guy crosses his arms.
“What!? I thought this was a weight loss thing, I don't hate myself....
Patricia shakes her head in sadness.
“Positively” Patricia Powers: Denial.
“I have a wife!”
“Positively” Patricia Powers: Delusional as well. Gregg, hold all my calls. This is gonna take my full attention.
Gregg just smiles and shakes his head.
Gregg Jennings: You don't even have a phone.
The poor stocky gentlemen just stands there looking confused at this lady who not only insulted his looks and life but also made him feel like he could do anything he wanted.
“Who are you?”
She sticks out her hand.
“Positively” Patricia Powers: The name is “Positively” Patricia Powers, all my friends call me Triple P....
The stocky guy shakes her hand and she smiles a giant toothy grin.
“Positively” Patricia Powers:....and you can too.
Fade out on the grin.