Post by ADudeFromCLE on Mar 5, 2017 20:04:18 GMT
We open in front of the JQH Arena, Springfield, Missouri where we can see Grandpa Kaos standing in front of the building wearing a perfectly tailored gray suit with a white shirt top two buttons undone and no tie.
"Hello and good after noon IWF faithful! Or is it universe? IWF fanatics? Whatever you call your selves or even if you are new to the product, HELLO and welcome from the JQH Arena right here in at the Birthplace of Route 66, Springfield MISSURA!
For those of you who are new, or been living under a rock, I'm Sergei Kaos, but you all can call me Grandpa Kaos and your Grandpa is here today to tell you about this week’s upcoming IWF Sacrifice coming to you live from this arena right here this Monday March 6th at 9PM sharp. I tell you the time because I don't want you to be late and miss a single second of action that we have instore for you all this week.
And man oh man do we have a stacked card for you folks this week, it starts off with a triple threat match between 2 LOVELY Diamonds, and Fiona McFly to settle some unsettled business, in one corner you have Lizzy Dalmon who, if I can be quite honest with you and not sound like a total old man perv but as Chris would say, GOD DAMN DAT ASS! And in the other corner you got the ever so eloquent Kate Steele who's been on quite the roll herself, will they team up to take out the loud mouth Fiona? Will they wind up taking each other out and allow Fiona to walk out with a victory? You can only find out this Monday!
And then right after that match we have the returning superstar, former Man of Steel Champion, Ryan Shane, as he takes on new comer Joshua Black. We don't know much about the self-proclaimed "Greatness Personified" but I do know this, he's not a woman, so Ryan Shane might have a chance!"
He grins at his own joke before continuing on.
"And in our main event for the evening we get our first look at the new Spencer Family who faces off against the Nighthawk Dojo team of Jayson Matthews, Nighthawk and the North Star Andrew Jacobsen in a six man tag match. Man this is going to be a hell of a match, these boys in the Spencer Family might be green as shit but have you seen the one brother? He's a god damn mountain of a man, I saw him backstage last week, got lost in his beard and wound up here. The Dojo has their work cut out for them but if anyone can get on the same page and ruin The Spencer’s debut it's them.
Let's not forget that Riley Gordon will be making a huge announcement also, and I have it on good authority that we will be seeing an influx of new Diamonds here soon, and boy, that is not a bad thing at all if you ask Grandpa Kaos!
And last, but most certainly not least, we have the match you all are lining up the buy tickets to see, the true draw of this card, a 3 team tag match because we are the IWF why just limit ourselves to a standard tag match!? When you have the best teams in the world, showcase them! And we are doing just that!
In one corner you have the hot new team straight from down under, a pair of blokes who I'd like to party with sometime, The Lost Boys! In the other corner you have a newly formed team of El Grande Malo and, former member of the house? Zasshu! These two are going to make quite the pair let me tell you. And finally, the 3 in our trio of tag teams, you have the greatest tag team going in the world today, "The Apex of Agility", master of THE GOD DAMN PRETTIEST MOVE IN ALL OF WRESTLING, The Shooting Chris Press, Chris Fenell, and his brother, The Atlanta Pitbull, the Suplex Savant, Will Fenell better known to you all as The Renegades!
This is going to be a hell of a match folks, one you are not going to want to miss. Need to use the bathroom? Hold it, or use that large soda cup, because even if you blink you could miss some of the best action this side of the galaxy.
This is a match where any team could win, but let’s be honest. As good as The Lost Boys are, and have been, and they have, they've been on quite the roll lately and look damn good out in that ring, they've already lost to Dem Boys, so where they might be viewing this as a revenge match, they have got to know in the back of their heads, Dem Boy's got their number.
And as far as Malo and Zasshu go? Both GREAT GREAT singles competitors, I mean hell Chris will sing Malo's praises all day long, and both brothers respect the shit out of Zasshu even if they don't agree with his choice of friends or like the man very much, but both of them are new to the tag scene, and haven’t had that time to gel like these two brothers have.
The Renegades have fought all over this globe facing all types of competitors from giants of men, to midgets in bull costumes, Mexico was a very odd tour. For over ten years they've been doing this, taking on all comers and coming out on top, and that...that is something you cannot gain just by teaming up, a sense of continuity, a bond that a tag team needs, as good as these two are, they just do not have the experience needed to defeat a this well-oiled machine.
Speaking of this well-oiled machine!"
Both Chris and Will's head pop onto the screen, Chris from the left, Will from the left, both sideways looking at the camera with confusion, then they look back at Grandpa Kaos, back to the camera, back to Grandpa.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm doing what I think you guys in the business call a promo, to sell our show and your match this week."
"Really...did you put over the venue?"
Grandpa Kaos gets right in Will's face, and lets off a
"Woooo!"
"What about the other matches on the card"
Turns to Chris with the same response.
"Wooo!"
"Did you put over our opponents?"
"WOOO!"
“Made sure to mention we’ve already beaten dem Lost Boys?
“WOOO!”
"Mention the Shooting Chris Press?"
"WOOOO!"
"Did you give me a cool nickname?"
"WOOOO!"
"Did you hit them with the phrase that pays?"
He goes to get into Chris’s face, breaths deep, then calmly says.
"Naw I was waiting for you boy's to do that."
Both brothers turn to the camera and get real close to it where just their faces are in the shot, both of them at the same time.
"Whatcha know about dat!"
They both head off camera as Grandpa Kaos's face takes over the screen all wide eyed.
"WOOOOOOOO"
The camera starts to fade as we hear the two brothers give a light wooo themselves.
"Hello and good after noon IWF faithful! Or is it universe? IWF fanatics? Whatever you call your selves or even if you are new to the product, HELLO and welcome from the JQH Arena right here in at the Birthplace of Route 66, Springfield MISSURA!
For those of you who are new, or been living under a rock, I'm Sergei Kaos, but you all can call me Grandpa Kaos and your Grandpa is here today to tell you about this week’s upcoming IWF Sacrifice coming to you live from this arena right here this Monday March 6th at 9PM sharp. I tell you the time because I don't want you to be late and miss a single second of action that we have instore for you all this week.
And man oh man do we have a stacked card for you folks this week, it starts off with a triple threat match between 2 LOVELY Diamonds, and Fiona McFly to settle some unsettled business, in one corner you have Lizzy Dalmon who, if I can be quite honest with you and not sound like a total old man perv but as Chris would say, GOD DAMN DAT ASS! And in the other corner you got the ever so eloquent Kate Steele who's been on quite the roll herself, will they team up to take out the loud mouth Fiona? Will they wind up taking each other out and allow Fiona to walk out with a victory? You can only find out this Monday!
And then right after that match we have the returning superstar, former Man of Steel Champion, Ryan Shane, as he takes on new comer Joshua Black. We don't know much about the self-proclaimed "Greatness Personified" but I do know this, he's not a woman, so Ryan Shane might have a chance!"
He grins at his own joke before continuing on.
"And in our main event for the evening we get our first look at the new Spencer Family who faces off against the Nighthawk Dojo team of Jayson Matthews, Nighthawk and the North Star Andrew Jacobsen in a six man tag match. Man this is going to be a hell of a match, these boys in the Spencer Family might be green as shit but have you seen the one brother? He's a god damn mountain of a man, I saw him backstage last week, got lost in his beard and wound up here. The Dojo has their work cut out for them but if anyone can get on the same page and ruin The Spencer’s debut it's them.
Let's not forget that Riley Gordon will be making a huge announcement also, and I have it on good authority that we will be seeing an influx of new Diamonds here soon, and boy, that is not a bad thing at all if you ask Grandpa Kaos!
And last, but most certainly not least, we have the match you all are lining up the buy tickets to see, the true draw of this card, a 3 team tag match because we are the IWF why just limit ourselves to a standard tag match!? When you have the best teams in the world, showcase them! And we are doing just that!
In one corner you have the hot new team straight from down under, a pair of blokes who I'd like to party with sometime, The Lost Boys! In the other corner you have a newly formed team of El Grande Malo and, former member of the house? Zasshu! These two are going to make quite the pair let me tell you. And finally, the 3 in our trio of tag teams, you have the greatest tag team going in the world today, "The Apex of Agility", master of THE GOD DAMN PRETTIEST MOVE IN ALL OF WRESTLING, The Shooting Chris Press, Chris Fenell, and his brother, The Atlanta Pitbull, the Suplex Savant, Will Fenell better known to you all as The Renegades!
This is going to be a hell of a match folks, one you are not going to want to miss. Need to use the bathroom? Hold it, or use that large soda cup, because even if you blink you could miss some of the best action this side of the galaxy.
This is a match where any team could win, but let’s be honest. As good as The Lost Boys are, and have been, and they have, they've been on quite the roll lately and look damn good out in that ring, they've already lost to Dem Boys, so where they might be viewing this as a revenge match, they have got to know in the back of their heads, Dem Boy's got their number.
And as far as Malo and Zasshu go? Both GREAT GREAT singles competitors, I mean hell Chris will sing Malo's praises all day long, and both brothers respect the shit out of Zasshu even if they don't agree with his choice of friends or like the man very much, but both of them are new to the tag scene, and haven’t had that time to gel like these two brothers have.
The Renegades have fought all over this globe facing all types of competitors from giants of men, to midgets in bull costumes, Mexico was a very odd tour. For over ten years they've been doing this, taking on all comers and coming out on top, and that...that is something you cannot gain just by teaming up, a sense of continuity, a bond that a tag team needs, as good as these two are, they just do not have the experience needed to defeat a this well-oiled machine.
Speaking of this well-oiled machine!"
Both Chris and Will's head pop onto the screen, Chris from the left, Will from the left, both sideways looking at the camera with confusion, then they look back at Grandpa Kaos, back to the camera, back to Grandpa.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm doing what I think you guys in the business call a promo, to sell our show and your match this week."
"Really...did you put over the venue?"
Grandpa Kaos gets right in Will's face, and lets off a
"Woooo!"
"What about the other matches on the card"
Turns to Chris with the same response.
"Wooo!"
"Did you put over our opponents?"
"WOOO!"
“Made sure to mention we’ve already beaten dem Lost Boys?
“WOOO!”
"Mention the Shooting Chris Press?"
"WOOOO!"
"Did you give me a cool nickname?"
"WOOOO!"
"Did you hit them with the phrase that pays?"
He goes to get into Chris’s face, breaths deep, then calmly says.
"Naw I was waiting for you boy's to do that."
Both brothers turn to the camera and get real close to it where just their faces are in the shot, both of them at the same time.
"Whatcha know about dat!"
They both head off camera as Grandpa Kaos's face takes over the screen all wide eyed.
"WOOOOOOOO"
The camera starts to fade as we hear the two brothers give a light wooo themselves.
Well howdy there pardner.