Back to School 4 - "Tannis Anyone?"

[Jayson Matthews]

It was going to be smooth.

And when I say smooth, I mean SMOOVE!

I was decked out to the nines man, I had the gel in my hair and fixed it up all nice and stuff. I wore the nice button down shirt instead of my usual mix of band shirts and shirts that say hilarious things on them. I spritzed on a little of my special cologne instead of my usual axe body spray. I even shaved my beard....

what? I totally can grow a beard.

The point is, I was looking pretty darn fancy if I do say so myself. Remember that Sasha girl that I was telling you about a few weeks ago? She is in the advance class at the Wrestle Factory and she was totally backing me up against those jerks Buzz and Puke. I decided to go for it. I had some roses and tickets to Cubs game. I was going to ask her out on a date and it was going to be so totally smooth.

We open up to Jayson Matthews as he walks from the parking lot to the large rectangular building known as the Wrestle Factory. He did look pretty fly though, except for the terrible chain wallet and the spikes in the hair. He heads through the front door and toward the commons area.

As I was walking, trying to think of the best pick up line I'd ever heard, I almost didn't see the most disgusting sight I'll ever see in my entire life. There, in the commons, all cuddled up and cozy and giggling and have a great and amazing time together was Buzz and the girl that I was going to ask out. He even kissed her. GROSS! TERRIBLE!

NO

NO

NO!

Jayson just stands in the room, trying his best to fathom this travesty of justice. He didn't even know they were a couple, he thought to himself.

Jayson Matthews: What a cruel and ironic way to kick me in the balls life!

Jayson said out loud, drawing the attention of Buzz, Sasha, and for a few moments even everyone else.

I realize now that I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud. But wait folks...it gets worse.

Some of the other students in the school were starting to whisper and awkwardly stare and normally Jayson might have gotten embarrassed but he was too busy staring at Buzz who just had the hugest douchebag grin on his face.

Buzz: Oh what do we have here?

Buzz lays another kiss on Sasha's cheek as he gets up to greet our hero.

Buzz: And looking real snazzy here-

Buzz grabs at Jayson's nice button down t-shirt but Jayson pulls away.

Buzz: And he has roses!?

Buzz snatches the card from the bouquet without Jayson realizing it.

Buzz: Card says, too Sasha. Well that's nice and all but Sasha is my girlfriend now.

I kind of figured it out by then but the confirmation still hurt. I don't know why it hurt my feelings, I didn't know Sasha too well. I think it was more because of Buzz, I just didn't like the fact that she was with him. I was reeling. I was trying to think of something to say but my brain was moving to fast it was like someone pulled up the flood gates. And before I could gather my wits about me, I notice Buzz lunges for the bouquet of roses and I tried to stop him but I was just too late.

He tears the plastic holding them together and the roses all fly out and fall to the ground. Some break and scatter in opposite directions like a shattered mirror. I felt this rage bubble up inside me and I felt my fists clench and I wanted more then anything to ball up my hand and punch Buzz right in the face. Destroy him. Shatter his jaw. Make him regret it all.

But then she stepped in between us.

Sasha: Leave him alone.

She says to Buzz, who was a bit surprised that she would still take Jayson's side even though they were a couple. Jayson was even a bit surprised by that as well. Buzz tried to argue but she seemed adamant.

Sasha: I'll see you after school.

She said with a firm tone and a stern gaze. Buzz grumbled and walked away and Sasha immediately started helping Jayson pick up the roses.

Sasha: Beautiful roses.

Jayson just nodded his head and kind of turned the same color. Jayson knelt down and joined her in picking up the flowers.

Jayson Matthews: They were supposed to be for you.

She looked up at him, surprised in her own right by what he said.

Sasha: Why would you get roses for me?

Jayson Matthews: Because I'm stupid and I thought maybe you actually liked me or something. But I guess your with that jerk now, so sorry forget this happened.

Sasha: Yeah, I am with that jerk now. He's actually pretty nice once you get to know him. If you liked me, you should have said something two weeks ago when you had the chance.

I couldn't think of a single thing that I could say. Well nothing that I could say out loud that she would understand. She had no idea that I was the king of misread signs and blown opportunities.

May as well be my middle name.

Call me Jayson “missed shots” Matthews.

Bleh-

---

“It's been a crazy couple of weeks I'll tell you that much....”

We open up on Jayson Matthews staring into the camera. He rolls his eyes around and shakes his head to emphasize just how crazy his weeks has been.

“Throughout the whole Roulette weekend and focusing on trying to win that and everything else that has been going on, I feel like I haven't really talked much in a few weeks. But if we havent been keeping score at home you'll know that I'm currently on a two match win streak here in IWF after a nice series with the Spencer Family. Those guys have since gotten more scary and way more smelly lately, so I'm glad that they are behind me and i'm now moving forward to the next person on the Jayson Matthews super train to victory.”

He nods his head in excitement.

“That's right baby, I'm looking for win number three. I'm looking to further my streak and move on to bigger and better things and this week I decided to throw my hat out for an open challenge and it looks like I got some new guy named...uh....Stannis Baratheon. Yeah, I think I'm facing the one true king of the north here folks. That's cool, all I really need is a tall lanky girl in armor and I'll be doing alright in that department. This can't be right....

He holds up his index finger and pulls out his cell phone.

“I'm about to just google who my real opponent is and-”

Jayson's jaw drops as soon as he see's the monster of a man known to the world as Tannis .

“Dear lord.....why are the human beings this large!?”

The idea of the beat down that this man could potentially bring to Jayson starts to dawn on him.

“Okay...look...”

He sigh and shakes his head.

“I'm sorry about getting your name wrong sir. It was an honest mistake. You should watch Game of Thrones, it really is a wonderful show. There is this guy called The Mountain, im sure he was probably inspired by you. Heh heh...

Jayson laughs nervously and then glances back at the picture of Tannis on his cell phone.

“Yeah you do not look like your a very nice person.....like at all. And the motorcycle clearly makes you super tough and gritty. I bet this dude is just mad because he has sand in his butt crack all the time. Yeah, it's probably very likely that good old Valleyball Brute is going to rip my head off my shoulders this week on sacrifice. I mean he outweighs me by multiple me and he looks like my nightmares. And on top of everything else he's brand new in this company and i'm sure he's looking to make his name by squashing me like a bug. And that's fine. You know I accept the fact that facing you is really, really really really going to hurt and there is really nothing I can do about it.

He laughs but the laughs quickly turn into a sob.

“But I just want to inform you Succor Muscle, before you proceed to fold me up and put me in your back pocket...that I'm not just going to lay down and let you take advantage of me without my consent you big strong man, you.”

Jayson slowly shakes his head.

“Nope. I'm going to fight you, big guy.”

He nods his head.

“And I know you think I have no chance. Big guys like you are really big dumb and stupid like that. And the odds are pretty much stacked against me here in this situation but I'm not ruling out the possibility that when Jayson Matthews steps inside the ring against Rogby Strong that the little scrappy kid from Detroit could grab the big dude by the beard and drag him around the ring.

Jayson stands up from his chair.

“Do you know why that is Badminton Brown? Because while your drifting on down the road on your tough guy motorcycle, going to whatever town you feel like it, I've been putting in the hard work. I've been putting my desire and my passion on the line every time I step inside that ring and everytime I step foot inside The Wrestle Factory. Even when the going get's tough, even when it gets too hard. Even when I struggle through drills and mess up, because unlike you I don't run away when it gets to hard. If I get knocked down, I'll get knocked down again. You may knock me down six times but I'll get up seven times. I'm not afraid of an ass kicking.”

His eyes shift back toward the cell phone picture.

“No matter how brutal it may be.”

He shrugs.

“But in order to knock me down, your going to have to catch me and I'm just too fast for you, dude. Your going to need your motorcycle just to keep up. I'm going to defeat your brute strength with speed and and I'm going to chop you down to size and i'm going to show you that I may not have to much to show for my career but some people call me the greatest never was there ever was and once your on your knees staring at me, wondering how this little guy from the cruiserweight division is able to look this big strong tough biker man eye to eye it will be too late for an answer...

Jayson shrugs his shoulders.

“....because I'll be going bananas...all....over....your....face.”

Fade.