Post by Yulia Malakova on Apr 17, 2017 4:39:07 GMT
YULIA'S DIARY
26 September 2016 - 1830 GMT [Day 2]
It was hard for me, walking past the people on the boat deck.
There was a sense of complete joviality and jubiliation throughout as the ship sailed towards its first port of call, and I watched with great intent, with divine reverence, as families from all over the world got together, sang songs, played games in the arcade, and so on. I couldn't help but smile at all the laughter, give out a slight wink whenever a father was teaching his son how to surf on one of those Flow-Rider simulations, and many other activites.
It truly was a ship teeming with life, bursting at the veins with vim, vigor, and vitality the likes of which I wasn't accustomed to, even as I had ttraveled from place to place throughout most of my life.
Yet deep within my heart...I was longing for something that, to be very fair, I haven't been able to grasp in a long time...
...having a stable home, with a loving, caring family environment that I can create and cherish forever and ever.
I am an immigrant from a wartorn region, and I find myself being looked at the wrong way because my homeland is currently in a contentious debate with the United States of America over a great many issues. Whilst most of the cruise passengers wouldn't say much to me, others--more specifically, the veterans of Viet Nam--would call me "commie" or "Mr. Putin's puppet." And it just...it makes me wonder why?
Why do some Americans have to resort to labeling someone just because they come from the former Soviet Union? All I want to do is be the best person I can be, no matter where I come from. All I want to do is find a place somewhere, where I would feel welcomed and admired, not hated or misunderstood.
Nothing more...nothing less.
Yet I found being an immigrant to be...quite depressing.
I found myself walking towards the stern of the mighty ship, where I could gaze upon the memories of what I was forced to leave behind because of the wars. I was heartbroken beyond any measure of rational thinking, and I found myself, at first, to be untrusting of other people--especially Americans.
Until I saw him.
Until I saw...the one...for the very first time.
He had long, curly hair and a bushy beard; he was from the United States, obviously from the clothes he wore. But...he wasn't like those people who had given me all those terrible labels...he was quiet, reserved. He was also alone like me, staring back at the metaphorical past, the things he's had to leave behind in his life.
I found it ironic that I was doing the same thing.
So I spoke to him, in my native Russian...he was incredulous. Nobody had spoken to him before on the journey, much less in a different tongue. Yet...he was harbouring a deep pain in his soul, like I was. So I said a few more words to him in my home dialect...and, well...he was polite. He couldn't understand me...
...but I wanted to understand him.
Very, very much.
---------------
I...am an immigrant.
I come from a region torn by chaos and strife, by death and destruction.
Yet I come to wrestling...with a purpose.
For many years, since I was able to attend University, I have longed for nothing else except to find a stable place in which I can call home, with the ability to create a family of my own that I can love and cherish for the rest of my life. The process has been quite frustrating for me, moving around from city to city, from town to town, meeting all sorts of people with different backgrounds and nationalities.
I have found the travel to be quite...difficult to handle at times.
For not everyone is jovial and happy.
Whilst the Imperial Wrestling Federation's Diamonds division teems with women of different ideologies and beliefs, this "battle royal" match won't be like anything I have ever experienced before. It truly is going to be "every woman for herself," where a winner can be quite unpredictable, and where one little error in judgement along the way can result in a slow, painful demise. There will be many people who will be competing, but in the end...the winner shall have her name etched into lore and earn a spot into the coveted "Iron Maiden."
I only have one chance--a chance to prove to the world that I am not a "commie" as many others have labeled me throughout my journey.
And I want to utilise this chance to great effect--with honour and grace.
That is the problem with this sport of wrestling in which I find myself in--people giving labels to one another, calling each other terrible names. It was very heartbreaking for me when I saw that the person I met whilst on said cruise used a derogatory term to describe a fellow competitor, but when I look deeper in the matter...I start to realise that his soul was hurting, that he wants to do good things for his profession so badly that he had a moment of nonclarity. In the end...I can only pray that they would be able to make peace and not fight.
After all...I believe this concept of "name-calling" isn't worth fighting about.
I understand fully that we have our wide spectrum of emotions--joy, anger, happiness, sadness, etc. Yet we must ALL--if we want to succeed in the line of work we have chosen--to look beyond the petty insults and see people for who they really are, in the heart, in the soul...not in the colour or where you come from. If you've ever called someone a name, or if somebody else has hurt you in that fashion...then I want you to close your eyes and reflect upon how you truly see that person beyond what you see on a camera or in a ring.
Ten seconds of silence...I'll watch the time.
I am VERY sure that they will be pleased to know how much you truly care for the people around you, no matter what language they speak, and so on.
I see myself as a caring, loving woman...but more than that, I wish to grow, to see others in a new light, without resorting to labels, slurs, etc. I wish to continue my work, no matter how many times people try to tear my heart into pieces. Yet most important of all...I desire to make my family proud of me, that I CAN be a torchbearer for all the Diamonds in the division to look up to and respect...
...I will move onto the Iron Maiden match--for my country, for my family...
...for JJ.
I will be "the one."
I...am an immigrant.
I come from a region torn by chaos and strife, by death and destruction.
Yet I come to wrestling...with a purpose.
For many years, since I was able to attend University, I have longed for nothing else except to find a stable place in which I can call home, with the ability to create a family of my own that I can love and cherish for the rest of my life. The process has been quite frustrating for me, moving around from city to city, from town to town, meeting all sorts of people with different backgrounds and nationalities.
I have found the travel to be quite...difficult to handle at times.
For not everyone is jovial and happy.
Whilst the Imperial Wrestling Federation's Diamonds division teems with women of different ideologies and beliefs, this "battle royal" match won't be like anything I have ever experienced before. It truly is going to be "every woman for herself," where a winner can be quite unpredictable, and where one little error in judgement along the way can result in a slow, painful demise. There will be many people who will be competing, but in the end...the winner shall have her name etched into lore and earn a spot into the coveted "Iron Maiden."
I only have one chance--a chance to prove to the world that I am not a "commie" as many others have labeled me throughout my journey.
And I want to utilise this chance to great effect--with honour and grace.
That is the problem with this sport of wrestling in which I find myself in--people giving labels to one another, calling each other terrible names. It was very heartbreaking for me when I saw that the person I met whilst on said cruise used a derogatory term to describe a fellow competitor, but when I look deeper in the matter...I start to realise that his soul was hurting, that he wants to do good things for his profession so badly that he had a moment of nonclarity. In the end...I can only pray that they would be able to make peace and not fight.
After all...I believe this concept of "name-calling" isn't worth fighting about.
I understand fully that we have our wide spectrum of emotions--joy, anger, happiness, sadness, etc. Yet we must ALL--if we want to succeed in the line of work we have chosen--to look beyond the petty insults and see people for who they really are, in the heart, in the soul...not in the colour or where you come from. If you've ever called someone a name, or if somebody else has hurt you in that fashion...then I want you to close your eyes and reflect upon how you truly see that person beyond what you see on a camera or in a ring.
Ten seconds of silence...I'll watch the time.
I am VERY sure that they will be pleased to know how much you truly care for the people around you, no matter what language they speak, and so on.
I see myself as a caring, loving woman...but more than that, I wish to grow, to see others in a new light, without resorting to labels, slurs, etc. I wish to continue my work, no matter how many times people try to tear my heart into pieces. Yet most important of all...I desire to make my family proud of me, that I CAN be a torchbearer for all the Diamonds in the division to look up to and respect...
...I will move onto the Iron Maiden match--for my country, for my family...
...for JJ.
I will be "the one."
}
Well howdy there pardner.