Post by Crystal Zdunich on May 8, 2017 3:39:15 GMT
Hey everybody this is the one and only Silver Screen Queen Crystal Millar but lately I have been feeling more like a jester than any sort of queen and to be honest I have no one to blame but myself. I honestly don’t know what happened but it just seemed as if everything came crashing down upon me, and it really didn’t sit with me that I had fallen so hard until I missed out on the opportunity to compete at Motor City Mayhem.
I know it sounds absolutely silly to be so concerned about competing on the Viewers Choice Pay Per View but for me it was more than just another big show and a big card. It was the chance to wrestle in front of my hometown crowd. It was the chance to compete in front of my closest family and my longtime friends and I missed out on that chance.
I missed out on the chance to be in the Iron Maiden and it’s that thought alone that brings up the reality that I have let the rest of the Diamonds division past me by. A year ago during this time I was in the Iron Maiden match. I was a big time contender and was one of the biggest focal points in the entire division.
I may have faltered and may not have won the belt but at least I was the conversation over and over again and my strong work ethic kept me there. It kept me to be able to qualify for the Heiress of the Throne series and it kept me challenging Alexis over and over again to the point where my hard work got me the chance to fight for the Shield Maiden Championship.
Once I had that small window of opportunity that’s when I was able to strike and that’s when I was able to walk away with my first true championship in this company. That was the story of last year but now here we are a year later and it just seems I am not even making the cut.
I am not the same Diamond that I once was and it appears as if this new wave of Diamonds are really out to leave the old guard in the dust. So where does this leave me?!
Where do I go from here?
Do I fully embrace my role in all of this or do my best to change the path that I am on. One thing I do know is when I stepped into the ring with Alicia Lukas I knew I had completely hit rock bottom. That match with Alicia lasted a good 45 seconds and I was extremely sloppy. I wasn’t myself, and I was completely different from the woman that I used to be.
I can’t rewrite the past of the way I wrestled against Alicia. The way I got sloppy the way I lost all senses of myself and became something that I never envisioned in becoming, but what I can do is make a vow to finally make things right. To finally take a stand so that I can be respected again, I know it’s a long road to get back to the top but at this stage in my career I have no other choice.
It’s time to strive to go upwards. It’s time to make it to the top and through hell or high water you will all witness me back at the top again. You can count on that.
It feels like an eternity since I have been involved in the upper echelon in Diamonds wrestling but all of that can change with a win. I can turn that around with a win this Monday but it’s going to take real sacrifice.
Words are merely words if you aren’t willing to put actions behind them but I am looking for a game changer. I am looking to be that dominant force again, and I know I can get there if I really put my mind behind it.
I think what hurts the most in all of this is the way that I have been treating the fans. It’s unfair to them. I haven’t been passionate about what I have been doing and they have been made to suffer because of it. Suffer because they don’t get the pleasure of watching me do what I do best. Instead it’s just a constant disappointment for them and I don’t want them to go through that anymore because they don’t deserve it.
So for the people that decided to stick by me who bought my merchandise, who comes to the arena or a nightly basis to see me this is where I devote myself into really being the person you all want me to be.
You deserve a sense of excellent and I will give it to you one way or another. Mark my words on that!
I know it sounds absolutely silly to be so concerned about competing on the Viewers Choice Pay Per View but for me it was more than just another big show and a big card. It was the chance to wrestle in front of my hometown crowd. It was the chance to compete in front of my closest family and my longtime friends and I missed out on that chance.
I missed out on the chance to be in the Iron Maiden and it’s that thought alone that brings up the reality that I have let the rest of the Diamonds division past me by. A year ago during this time I was in the Iron Maiden match. I was a big time contender and was one of the biggest focal points in the entire division.
I may have faltered and may not have won the belt but at least I was the conversation over and over again and my strong work ethic kept me there. It kept me to be able to qualify for the Heiress of the Throne series and it kept me challenging Alexis over and over again to the point where my hard work got me the chance to fight for the Shield Maiden Championship.
Once I had that small window of opportunity that’s when I was able to strike and that’s when I was able to walk away with my first true championship in this company. That was the story of last year but now here we are a year later and it just seems I am not even making the cut.
I am not the same Diamond that I once was and it appears as if this new wave of Diamonds are really out to leave the old guard in the dust. So where does this leave me?!
Where do I go from here?
Do I fully embrace my role in all of this or do my best to change the path that I am on. One thing I do know is when I stepped into the ring with Alicia Lukas I knew I had completely hit rock bottom. That match with Alicia lasted a good 45 seconds and I was extremely sloppy. I wasn’t myself, and I was completely different from the woman that I used to be.
I can’t rewrite the past of the way I wrestled against Alicia. The way I got sloppy the way I lost all senses of myself and became something that I never envisioned in becoming, but what I can do is make a vow to finally make things right. To finally take a stand so that I can be respected again, I know it’s a long road to get back to the top but at this stage in my career I have no other choice.
It’s time to strive to go upwards. It’s time to make it to the top and through hell or high water you will all witness me back at the top again. You can count on that.
It feels like an eternity since I have been involved in the upper echelon in Diamonds wrestling but all of that can change with a win. I can turn that around with a win this Monday but it’s going to take real sacrifice.
Words are merely words if you aren’t willing to put actions behind them but I am looking for a game changer. I am looking to be that dominant force again, and I know I can get there if I really put my mind behind it.
I think what hurts the most in all of this is the way that I have been treating the fans. It’s unfair to them. I haven’t been passionate about what I have been doing and they have been made to suffer because of it. Suffer because they don’t get the pleasure of watching me do what I do best. Instead it’s just a constant disappointment for them and I don’t want them to go through that anymore because they don’t deserve it.
So for the people that decided to stick by me who bought my merchandise, who comes to the arena or a nightly basis to see me this is where I devote myself into really being the person you all want me to be.
You deserve a sense of excellent and I will give it to you one way or another. Mark my words on that!
Detroit Michigan
Back Home
{Crystal Millar had decided to visit her hometown in Detroit Michigan. The Hollywood beauty could only sigh as she walked next to her daughter Brittany. The two walked next to one another as Crystal took in her home town. Brittany smiled as she glanced over her mom from head to toe.}
Brittany: “I must say mom I really love your purple hair. It’s a great look for you and it really brings out your other features…”
{Crystal just shrugs it off and Brittany just sighs as she looks over at her mother.}
Brittany: “What’s wrong mom?!”
Crystal: “Do you really want to know what’s wrong?! I feel like one big disappointment. I feel like I have never been able to tap into my full potential when it comes to competing in IWF, and because of all the blown opportunities that I never got to capitalize on it kept me from competing in front of my hometown fans right here in Detroit. To some it may not mean that much but to me it meant everything.”
{Brittany nods her head in agreement as she looks back at her mom.}
Brittany: “But still that’s no reason to feel as low as you do. It’s not the end of the world. You still have the movie career, you still have the money, and you have the fame and fortune to go with it. So what’s really the problem?!”
{Crystal turns her attention to Brittany as she sighs in return.}
[Crystal:[/b] “Pumpkin money and fame isn’t everything. Sure I might have all the money in the world but where has it really gotten me?!i think what Alicia said about me last week might have been right. All I am doing is holding on. Holding on to the thought that I am hoping my name will carry me far in this business. Hoping that my name will be the reason why people remember me, but the truth of the reality is that a name can only get me so far. It won’t bring me the happiness that I desire and it certainly won’t give me the success that I want. That’s a problem with being an actress.”
{Brittany raises her eyes as she looks deep into Crystal’s eyes.}
Brittany: “And what exactly is the problem?!”
Crystal: “The problem is in being an actress you learn how to channel so many emotions. You learn how to simply play the role of somebody else. How to put on a façade so you could give the people the reaction or person that they want.”
Brittany: “Yet at the same time that seems so sickening because you are hiding who the real person is behind the cameras, behind the scenes, and all of that acting nonsense. If you do that too much than you are setting yourself up for failure. I thought being vulnerable is what made us stronger in the end. And learning from past mistakes eventually helps us learn life lessons so we don’t do the same thing again.”
Crystal: “I know it’s just my mistakes seem like huge ones that I can’t come back from. I have all the money in the world and it still won’t change the fact that I wasn’t able to compete at Motor City Mayhem. It still doesn’t change the fact that I was totally embarrassed by Alicia Lukas. It doesn’t change anything. I am a total mess up and “
Brittany: “And I think you need to turn things around because this isn’t you. So what if you messed up or didn’t get to compete in front of your hometown crowd. You can’t let one mistake hold you down. Instead of trying to find ways to feel sorry for yourself maybe you should figure ways to change this about yourself but you need to want it mom. You are going to need to figure it out or else….”
Crystal: “Yeah I know… I don’t know what to do Brittany. I really don’t…”
Brittany: “Well until you figure it out, I feel like you are going to make the same mistakes over and over again. You have to get a hold of yourself so that you could finally move on with your life and start anew…”
{With that the mother and daughter combo walk down one of the many streets of Detroit as we leave on this image.}
Open Fight Night yes this is the night where I called out the one and only Emma Danielson. Truth be told my reason for calling you out is not to showcase that I am the better wrestler than you. Oh no Emma this goes well beyond the realm of trying to fight with you for the sake of trying to prove who is better between the two of us. I called you out because deep down I don’t know where else to turn. Seeing you come out to that ring and manage Astrid just reminds me that out of everyone that is competing here in IWF. You are the only one around that is truly from the old guard.
You and of course Kathy Conway, you both know how good I can be if really pushed. You have seen me at my absolute best and have also seen me at my absolute worst, but you know what it would take to make me bounce back again, and right now I could use all the motivation that I can possibly get.
We have been around for a very long time Emma and this year marks the year that I turn thirty I don’t want to get caught up in never accomplishing anything, in wishful thinking, and hoping for a chance to get in the spotlight again. I want for you to help me out, and help bring out that Crystal that we all remember.
I know I lashed out at you and in the past we haven’t always seen eye to eye with each other. There was a time where I would be nothing more than a bully. I would call you mean things ranging from Emma Manielson to other stupid things and I realize that it was childish. If I didn’t have a Zelda Knite to carry me who knows how much of a pounding you would have put on me but Zelda was always there to back me up.
The same thing goes for being in IWF with having an Ana Valentine at my side, and always be in the spotlight of somebody else. I would have been exposed a long time ago but I don’t want that to be my story anymore. I don’t want to be somebody’s stepping stone as they rise through the ranks and use me as an example to do so.
I want to do much more than that. I want to make a name for myself and I want to fill this empty void in my life so that I could focus to the task at hand. If there was ever a cry for help I guess this would be me asking for help.
Emma through the years we have done it all but one of the memories that I wish to remember the most that was short lived was the time when you and I tried to be a tag team. There was a time when I actually called you a friend and the two of us formed a duo called Drunken Perfection. A bunch of alcoholics who just wanted to have a great time as they frequented bars and wrestled together.
When I step in the ring with you I know I have to atone for what I have done to you in my life. I have done so much to you and I wouldn't ’be surprised if you unleashed a wrath of hell on me for about everything. If that what it has to come down too than by all means bring it Emma.
I can admit it’s probably deserved but don’t assume that I am going down without a fight.
Fighting you might light that spark again. It might bring back what I have been missing and it may be the very void that’s missing in my life.
I tried everything else and for the past two years it has been the same old song and dance. I don’t know where else to turn so that’s why I am coming to you.
After all we are drunken perfection so let’s have a match that can only be put on by the likes of us but let me make something clear. I am not going to be the one to lose.
After all this is the rebooting of a series, this is when my show gets back on air, and it looks like another season will be renewed.
From here comes the Emmys, the Golden Globes, and maybe an Oscar for best comeback actress of the year.
A girl could dream can’t she?
But no matter what happens I am ready to put on the absolute show of a lifetime and it starts by getting through you.
Lights, Camera, Action…. It’s Showtime!!!
Let’s make a movie shall we?! A movie where you will bow down before the SILVER SCREEN QUEEN!!!!!!!
Well howdy there pardner.