Post by Rob Diamond on Jun 12, 2017 1:28:39 GMT
{ We open on a similar scene as last week, the apartment of Randy and Nelly *REDACTED* and Mr. Happy, only the Faygo soda bottle furniture has been replaced with real furniture and instead of Mr. Happy being passed out after a hard night of binge drinking Root Beer flavored Faygo we find Randy *REDACTED* laying in a pile of empty bottles of Jack Daniels on the floor in front of the blue couch. }
Randy: CHRISSSSSSST! My head…
{ A lone reaches up for something to grab and lands on the clearly erect genitalia of Mr. Happy who is WIDE awake and just watching Randy sleep. Randy pats around the popped tent before resting his hand on what is clearly the head of Mr. Happy’s penis which is confined beneath his jorts. Randy’s lifts his head and opens his groggy eyes before realizing exactly what he’s touching. }
Randy: What… The… Fuck?
{ He finally realizes he’s cupping the dick of the all too happy clown who is looking down at him with an eerie smile. }
Mr Happy: GOOD MORNING RANDY!!!! I made you breakfast!!!
{ Happy stands up, Randy’s hand falling off his junk and Randy himself searching frantically for something in which he can vomit into, finally settling on the gym bag of his brother Nelly and unleashes last nights microwaved pizza bites. Happy is now standing and reaches into his pants to remove what we all thought was his manhood but is instead a long kielbasa that he readily takes a bite out of before stuffing it in the face of Randy. }
Mr Happy: Kielbasa for a growing body!
{ Randy turns to see a long curly black hair sticking off the meat, also there is quite a pungent aroma coming off the kielbasa, Randy turns green and buries his face right back into the gym bag. }
Mr Happy: Suit yourself, I need to carb up for my next match anyway.
{ Randy’s head pokes up and wipes away a piece of pepperoni. }
Randy: They gave you another match?
Mr Happy: Nope! I challenged someone! They have this cool thing called Open Fight Night where you can challenge anyone!
Randy: So challenged Andrew Jacobsen, clearly?
{ Randy says as he slowly pushes himself back up and then plops down onto the couch. He begins digging for something behind him and pulls out a nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniels, he takes a long swig, gargles then swallows. }
Mr Happy: Nope! I challenged James Gilmore!
Randy: Who the hell is James Gilmore?
Mr Happy: Only the most racist person on the planet besides that hate filled man sitting in the white house.
{ Happy looks genuinely upset about this and Randy just raises an eyebrow. }
Randy: Why the hell do you care if he’s racist?
{ Mr Happy’s jaw drops and he gasps. }
Mr Happy: Randy, while I appreciate you ability to see past my bi-racial skin do not pretend to thing we live in an equally color blind world!
{ I think we’re all pretty much thinking what Randy is thinking, DA FUQ? }
Randy: Bi-racial? You mean because of the face paint?
Mr Happy: This!
{ Happy circles he painted face. }
Mr Happy: Is my skin, Randy! And I will not tolerate someone judging me based on it’s color! Why that is the most ignorant and hateful thing a person can do on this wonderful planet and if it’s the last thing I do I will hug the love into James Gilmore’s heart!
Randy: Woah, settle down big boy, I just wanted to make sure I understand.
{ Happy plops back down in the blue arm chair he was sitting in. He reaches to the side and grabs a full bottle of Root Beer flavored Faygo and goes to take a drink but then stops himself. }
Mr Happy: As a child my parents, Mr and Mrs Happy senior would make me wear a bag on my head when we went out. They said they didn’t want me to experience the hatred of the world for the way that I looked. But I learned, Randy, I learned as a young adult despite my parents efforts how awful human beings can be to those who look different. That’s why I try to love everyone, even someone like James Gilmore because hate isn’t going to beat hate, only love can beat hate.
Randy: That… Was shockingly deep.
{ Now Happy takes a drink out of his Faygo bottle. }
Mr Happy: People like James Gilmore, they only know how to look at the surface of something. They can’t see past their own misconceptions. They sit there and watch hate filled news broadcasts and base all their opinions on it. They don’t understand that the people they hate are flesh and blood like they are. They are husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. They are so much more than the color of their skin or their sexual preference or their religious beliefs. They are beautiful miracles who have evolved on this unique world and have the chance to leave it a better place than they found it. That’s our duty as people, Randy.
{ Randy is completely caught off guard. In the background we see Nelly *REDACTED* sticking his head out of his bedroom just long enough to shed a tear. }
Randy: Jesus Christ, Happy…
{ Mr Happy slowly lifts the kielbasa from early and bites it right where the pubic hair is sticking off which causes Randy to nearly vomit again. }
Mr Happy: I love people, Randy, I love everything about them but if James Gilmore can’t learn to love and accept his fellow man well… I’ll just have to learn to live life without him.
{ Randy leans back for a second with a suspecting glance. }
Randy: That sounds an awful lot like a death threat?
Mr Happy: NOPE! Fore what is death but accepting the lords warm embrace!
{ Somewhere you can hear Eternity yell “PREACH!” }
Mr Happy: And despite all the awful terrible things James Gilmore has to say about people like me I will still love him. Even if he beats me I will love him. Even if he humiliates me I will love him. Even if he ties me to a pipe in his basement and has his-
Randy: Wrap it up!
Mr Happy: I will love him because love is the only weapon I need! Whether it’s Monday night or some other night my love will stand erect in defiance, dripping wet with compassion and it will violently penetrate his hate filled heart and pump him full of goodness!
Randy: We are talking about emotionally love, right?
Mr Happy: Of course!
Randy: Good, because this is a kids show…
{ A strange smile spreads across the face of Happy as he thinks about children. }
Randy: Oh god…
Mr Happy: MR HAPPY LOVES YOU JAMES!!!!!!!!
{ With no notice what so ever Mr Happy charges and tackles the camera man sending the scene to black. }
Randy: CHRISSSSSSST! My head…
{ A lone reaches up for something to grab and lands on the clearly erect genitalia of Mr. Happy who is WIDE awake and just watching Randy sleep. Randy pats around the popped tent before resting his hand on what is clearly the head of Mr. Happy’s penis which is confined beneath his jorts. Randy’s lifts his head and opens his groggy eyes before realizing exactly what he’s touching. }
Randy: What… The… Fuck?
{ He finally realizes he’s cupping the dick of the all too happy clown who is looking down at him with an eerie smile. }
Mr Happy: GOOD MORNING RANDY!!!! I made you breakfast!!!
{ Happy stands up, Randy’s hand falling off his junk and Randy himself searching frantically for something in which he can vomit into, finally settling on the gym bag of his brother Nelly and unleashes last nights microwaved pizza bites. Happy is now standing and reaches into his pants to remove what we all thought was his manhood but is instead a long kielbasa that he readily takes a bite out of before stuffing it in the face of Randy. }
Mr Happy: Kielbasa for a growing body!
{ Randy turns to see a long curly black hair sticking off the meat, also there is quite a pungent aroma coming off the kielbasa, Randy turns green and buries his face right back into the gym bag. }
Mr Happy: Suit yourself, I need to carb up for my next match anyway.
{ Randy’s head pokes up and wipes away a piece of pepperoni. }
Randy: They gave you another match?
Mr Happy: Nope! I challenged someone! They have this cool thing called Open Fight Night where you can challenge anyone!
Randy: So challenged Andrew Jacobsen, clearly?
{ Randy says as he slowly pushes himself back up and then plops down onto the couch. He begins digging for something behind him and pulls out a nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniels, he takes a long swig, gargles then swallows. }
Mr Happy: Nope! I challenged James Gilmore!
Randy: Who the hell is James Gilmore?
Mr Happy: Only the most racist person on the planet besides that hate filled man sitting in the white house.
{ Happy looks genuinely upset about this and Randy just raises an eyebrow. }
Randy: Why the hell do you care if he’s racist?
{ Mr Happy’s jaw drops and he gasps. }
Mr Happy: Randy, while I appreciate you ability to see past my bi-racial skin do not pretend to thing we live in an equally color blind world!
{ I think we’re all pretty much thinking what Randy is thinking, DA FUQ? }
Randy: Bi-racial? You mean because of the face paint?
Mr Happy: This!
{ Happy circles he painted face. }
Mr Happy: Is my skin, Randy! And I will not tolerate someone judging me based on it’s color! Why that is the most ignorant and hateful thing a person can do on this wonderful planet and if it’s the last thing I do I will hug the love into James Gilmore’s heart!
Randy: Woah, settle down big boy, I just wanted to make sure I understand.
{ Happy plops back down in the blue arm chair he was sitting in. He reaches to the side and grabs a full bottle of Root Beer flavored Faygo and goes to take a drink but then stops himself. }
Mr Happy: As a child my parents, Mr and Mrs Happy senior would make me wear a bag on my head when we went out. They said they didn’t want me to experience the hatred of the world for the way that I looked. But I learned, Randy, I learned as a young adult despite my parents efforts how awful human beings can be to those who look different. That’s why I try to love everyone, even someone like James Gilmore because hate isn’t going to beat hate, only love can beat hate.
Randy: That… Was shockingly deep.
{ Now Happy takes a drink out of his Faygo bottle. }
Mr Happy: People like James Gilmore, they only know how to look at the surface of something. They can’t see past their own misconceptions. They sit there and watch hate filled news broadcasts and base all their opinions on it. They don’t understand that the people they hate are flesh and blood like they are. They are husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. They are so much more than the color of their skin or their sexual preference or their religious beliefs. They are beautiful miracles who have evolved on this unique world and have the chance to leave it a better place than they found it. That’s our duty as people, Randy.
{ Randy is completely caught off guard. In the background we see Nelly *REDACTED* sticking his head out of his bedroom just long enough to shed a tear. }
Randy: Jesus Christ, Happy…
{ Mr Happy slowly lifts the kielbasa from early and bites it right where the pubic hair is sticking off which causes Randy to nearly vomit again. }
Mr Happy: I love people, Randy, I love everything about them but if James Gilmore can’t learn to love and accept his fellow man well… I’ll just have to learn to live life without him.
{ Randy leans back for a second with a suspecting glance. }
Randy: That sounds an awful lot like a death threat?
Mr Happy: NOPE! Fore what is death but accepting the lords warm embrace!
{ Somewhere you can hear Eternity yell “PREACH!” }
Mr Happy: And despite all the awful terrible things James Gilmore has to say about people like me I will still love him. Even if he beats me I will love him. Even if he humiliates me I will love him. Even if he ties me to a pipe in his basement and has his-
Randy: Wrap it up!
Mr Happy: I will love him because love is the only weapon I need! Whether it’s Monday night or some other night my love will stand erect in defiance, dripping wet with compassion and it will violently penetrate his hate filled heart and pump him full of goodness!
Randy: We are talking about emotionally love, right?
Mr Happy: Of course!
Randy: Good, because this is a kids show…
{ A strange smile spreads across the face of Happy as he thinks about children. }
Randy: Oh god…
Mr Happy: MR HAPPY LOVES YOU JAMES!!!!!!!!
{ With no notice what so ever Mr Happy charges and tackles the camera man sending the scene to black. }
Well howdy there pardner.