Post by Jake Keeton on Aug 4, 2013 0:27:44 GMT
I’ve replayed the events of last Sunday nights house show over and over in my mind. Alex Jones and I could have and by all means should have won the match without me clocking Seth Evans in the jaw with a loaded elbow pad. We’re better than Evans and Chris Kane but there’s always that chance that pure luck will come into play and I couldn’t take that chance so when the ref wasn’t looking I did what I had to do. I’ll never be completely satisfied with any victory I achieve that way but each time I make the decision to use the elbow pad I feel a little less guilt. That scares me.
It should also scare the two big jacked up sons of bitches Jones and I are facing in the Lethal Lottery tag tournament this week as well. I’m well aware of the fact that we can wrestle circles around Jackhammer and Deathtrain, but I’m not taking them lightly, pun intended. We’re facing 625lbs combined pounds of moron, that’s pretty damn impressive and if they can get their hands on either of us we’re in trouble. Getting their hands on us will be the problem though because we’re so much faster, and even if I gotta jump to hit them in the chin if the point of my elbow connects with one of their jaws then it’ll be like a mighty oak meeting a chain saw, just look out below.
Deathtrain is in my opinion the more dangerous of the two. He was nearly a finalist in the Heir to the Throne tournament and his record does not indicate the kind of impact he’s made in IWF, he’s just faced some really tough competition. That’s not changing this week either Train.
Before I tell you why I just gotta say that I can relate to you in a lot of ways you probably don’t even realize. I too have gone to great lengths to have my son, even spent some time behind bars for it. I also had people telling my kid I was a monster, and although I’m not nearly as imposing looking as you, to a 4 year old us normal sized folks look like giants. I almost lost my boy twice to cancer and had numerous battles with his dead mother’s family for custody, but I finally got full custody back in 2006. He’s 16 now and we’re closer than ever, at least we were till last week. . I hope your son grows up to see the good in you when everyone else just sees one side. You may never be anyone else’s hero but you will always be his; a father’s love can turn even the most evil monster of all into a pile of mush.
Now that we have the pleasantries out of the way Deathtrain, I’m gonna cave your fucking skull in. Not because I have anything against you, since I already told you I relate to you, but because I don’t have any choice in the matter. Just like you I will do whatever has to be done to protect my son, my wife, my mother, and anyone else I care about. I made some really bad decisions that no one knows about and now everyone I come into contact is suffering for it, my opponents included because I’m going to measures I normally wouldn’t. You got a second chance in this tag team tournament but I plan to put your hopes of going any farther to an end, but you were doomed to fail from the get go thanks to some horrible luck when it comes to random pairings for a partner not once but twice.
This leads me to you, Jackhammer. I’m completely baffled by you. Last week I felt like I’d jumped in a time machine to the late 90’s while watching what you had to say about your opponents and I smiled cause I remember how pure and fun things were back then. This week I felt like I was watching a mentally challenged televangelist. Not a damn thing you said made sense and I felt the need to go lick a window when I was done watching it because it was that retarded. You’re the devil yet you wanna save my soul Jack? You’re not the devil and you’re not getting my soul cause I know the devil and I already sold him my soul. Which is why I won’t feel an ounce of remorse when I knock that one brain cell you got bouncing around in that big noggin of yours out your ear. Good news is that brain cell was the only thing keeping you from getting a check from the state every month.
In all seriousness, or at least as serious as I can be when addressing you Jackhammer, you’re big and you’re bad. You’ve been mainly a tag team guy since IWF started up so that’s probably the one slight advantage you have other than size. I haven’t been much of a tag team wrestler except for with a select few guys, none of whom are here. My partner doesn’t much care for me, but at least we’ve got one match under our belts as a team whereas you and Train as mean and nasty as you two are haven’t had that luxury. You’ve also taken that huge paw of yours and tapped the mat like a mad man courtesy of Alex a few weeks back. If you’re not already taking a nap from me knocking you out I’m sure he can do it again.
This all comes down to which teams is better, and that’s Mr. Jones and I. Even if we weren’t we’d win because I have to win whether Alex likes how I get it done or not.
Jake Keeton walked through the front door of his home in suburban Lexington. He laid his keys on a small table by the door and then removed the gray baseball cap he wore with khaki cargo shorts and a white t-shirt featuring the Amp Energy logo in green. He placed the hat on a rack with some others and began sniffing the air.
Jake: Damn it smells good in here…
He wanders towards the kitchen where he sees his beautiful wife Kassie in a yellow sundress standing in front of the stove with her back to him. He slowly steps behind her and wraps his arms around her from behind kissing her lightly on the neck.
Kassie: You’ve got to stop that, my husband will be home any minute.
Jake just chuckles lightly at his wife’s attempt at being funny.
Jake: If you’ve got someone else sneaking up behind you to kiss on your neck besides me he’s brave that’s all I’m saying.
She turns around and wipes her hands on the black apron with “Mrs. Keeton” written in pink she was wearing before removing it and laying it across the back of a chair. She smiles and gives Jake a little peck on the cheek.
Jake: I been in New York for three days working out the details on this sponsorship deal with Amp and all I get is a little peck on the cheek?
Jake leans in and locks lips with Kassie but before he can slip her the tongue someone from behind can be heard clearing their throat. Kassie shoves Jake off playfully.
JC: I was just checking to see if dinner was ready the smell is killing me.
Kassie: It will be soon, go get washed up and your father and I will start setting the table.
JC exits the kitchen and Jake looks mildly confused.
Jake: What on earth is going on, I left the Bundy’s and came home to the Brady’s. We haven’t sat down for a meal together in months, maybe even a year.
Kassie: It was my idea.
Jake nodded his head.
Jake: I figured that, but he agreed? He hasn’t had much to say to me lately.
Kassie: I know, I don’t know what’s going on with him. I asked him what was up with you and him but he said he didn’t want to talk about it.
Jake: I really don’t know what his problem is.
Kassie looks suspicious at Jake’s obvious lie.
Kassie: You sure?
Jake: Yeah baby, it’s just how 16 year old boys are.
Kassie: If you say so. Let’s set the table, this will be nice to eat as a family.
The scene fades and reopens slightly later with all three of them sitting at the table and an empty plate in front of them.
Kassie: So who’s ready for dessert?
Jake: You’re gonna have to give me an hour or so before I can eat another bite. If I ate like this everyday I wouldn’t be a Cruiserweight anymore.
She turns to JC who looks equally as stuffed as his father.
Kassie: How bout you?
JC: You know it.
Kassie: I thought you’d say that. That’s the most you’ve said the whole time we’ve been eating. Are you ok?
JC looks at Jake who can’t even make eye contact with him and then back to Kassie.
JC: Yeah, just ain’t got much to say.
Kassie stands up and walks towards the refrigerator where she takes out a Cookie and Cream pie. She places it on the counter and begins cutting it with her back to the guys.
Kassie: You should tell your father about your news. I’m sure he’ll be very proud.
JC: Oh I bet he’s proud.
She turns and looks at him sternly sensing the sarcasm in his voice. Jake just sits there silent and ashamed.
Kassie: What’s that supposed to mean?
JC stands up and scoots his chair in.
JC: Nothing. I changed my mind I don’t want any dessert right now, I’m going to my room.
He leaves the room and an obviously frustrated Kassie throws a fork into the sink.
Kassie: Well I guess I’ll eat the whole damn pie by myself. What did he mean by that Jake?
Jake: Honey I honestly have no idea. What was his news?
Kassie: Maybe you should go talk to him, find out what’s wrong and let him tell you.
Jake: I’ll set him down and talk to him when I get back from Michigan. I’ve had a long couple days and just want to relax with my gorgeous wife who just cooked a meal fit for a king.
She puts the untouched pie back in the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of wine.
Jake: I like the way you think.
Kassie: I’m going to take a bubble bath.
Jake: Hell yes.
Kassie: Alone.
Jake just hangs his head as Kassie walks towards the door.
Kassie: You can get the dishes though if you plan on anything happening after my bath.
Jake: Seriously?
She nods her head without even a hint of a smile.
Kassie: Dead serious, I slaved over the stove all day it’s the least you can do. By the way? Your son was named MVP of the Blue Chippers Basketball Camp he attended and was asked to play in another All-Star game in September. That was his news.
Kassie exits the kitchen with her bottle of wine leaving Jake alone with the dishes as the scene fades.
It should also scare the two big jacked up sons of bitches Jones and I are facing in the Lethal Lottery tag tournament this week as well. I’m well aware of the fact that we can wrestle circles around Jackhammer and Deathtrain, but I’m not taking them lightly, pun intended. We’re facing 625lbs combined pounds of moron, that’s pretty damn impressive and if they can get their hands on either of us we’re in trouble. Getting their hands on us will be the problem though because we’re so much faster, and even if I gotta jump to hit them in the chin if the point of my elbow connects with one of their jaws then it’ll be like a mighty oak meeting a chain saw, just look out below.
Deathtrain is in my opinion the more dangerous of the two. He was nearly a finalist in the Heir to the Throne tournament and his record does not indicate the kind of impact he’s made in IWF, he’s just faced some really tough competition. That’s not changing this week either Train.
Before I tell you why I just gotta say that I can relate to you in a lot of ways you probably don’t even realize. I too have gone to great lengths to have my son, even spent some time behind bars for it. I also had people telling my kid I was a monster, and although I’m not nearly as imposing looking as you, to a 4 year old us normal sized folks look like giants. I almost lost my boy twice to cancer and had numerous battles with his dead mother’s family for custody, but I finally got full custody back in 2006. He’s 16 now and we’re closer than ever, at least we were till last week. . I hope your son grows up to see the good in you when everyone else just sees one side. You may never be anyone else’s hero but you will always be his; a father’s love can turn even the most evil monster of all into a pile of mush.
Now that we have the pleasantries out of the way Deathtrain, I’m gonna cave your fucking skull in. Not because I have anything against you, since I already told you I relate to you, but because I don’t have any choice in the matter. Just like you I will do whatever has to be done to protect my son, my wife, my mother, and anyone else I care about. I made some really bad decisions that no one knows about and now everyone I come into contact is suffering for it, my opponents included because I’m going to measures I normally wouldn’t. You got a second chance in this tag team tournament but I plan to put your hopes of going any farther to an end, but you were doomed to fail from the get go thanks to some horrible luck when it comes to random pairings for a partner not once but twice.
This leads me to you, Jackhammer. I’m completely baffled by you. Last week I felt like I’d jumped in a time machine to the late 90’s while watching what you had to say about your opponents and I smiled cause I remember how pure and fun things were back then. This week I felt like I was watching a mentally challenged televangelist. Not a damn thing you said made sense and I felt the need to go lick a window when I was done watching it because it was that retarded. You’re the devil yet you wanna save my soul Jack? You’re not the devil and you’re not getting my soul cause I know the devil and I already sold him my soul. Which is why I won’t feel an ounce of remorse when I knock that one brain cell you got bouncing around in that big noggin of yours out your ear. Good news is that brain cell was the only thing keeping you from getting a check from the state every month.
In all seriousness, or at least as serious as I can be when addressing you Jackhammer, you’re big and you’re bad. You’ve been mainly a tag team guy since IWF started up so that’s probably the one slight advantage you have other than size. I haven’t been much of a tag team wrestler except for with a select few guys, none of whom are here. My partner doesn’t much care for me, but at least we’ve got one match under our belts as a team whereas you and Train as mean and nasty as you two are haven’t had that luxury. You’ve also taken that huge paw of yours and tapped the mat like a mad man courtesy of Alex a few weeks back. If you’re not already taking a nap from me knocking you out I’m sure he can do it again.
This all comes down to which teams is better, and that’s Mr. Jones and I. Even if we weren’t we’d win because I have to win whether Alex likes how I get it done or not.
Jake Keeton walked through the front door of his home in suburban Lexington. He laid his keys on a small table by the door and then removed the gray baseball cap he wore with khaki cargo shorts and a white t-shirt featuring the Amp Energy logo in green. He placed the hat on a rack with some others and began sniffing the air.
Jake: Damn it smells good in here…
He wanders towards the kitchen where he sees his beautiful wife Kassie in a yellow sundress standing in front of the stove with her back to him. He slowly steps behind her and wraps his arms around her from behind kissing her lightly on the neck.
Kassie: You’ve got to stop that, my husband will be home any minute.
Jake just chuckles lightly at his wife’s attempt at being funny.
Jake: If you’ve got someone else sneaking up behind you to kiss on your neck besides me he’s brave that’s all I’m saying.
She turns around and wipes her hands on the black apron with “Mrs. Keeton” written in pink she was wearing before removing it and laying it across the back of a chair. She smiles and gives Jake a little peck on the cheek.
Jake: I been in New York for three days working out the details on this sponsorship deal with Amp and all I get is a little peck on the cheek?
Jake leans in and locks lips with Kassie but before he can slip her the tongue someone from behind can be heard clearing their throat. Kassie shoves Jake off playfully.
JC: I was just checking to see if dinner was ready the smell is killing me.
Kassie: It will be soon, go get washed up and your father and I will start setting the table.
JC exits the kitchen and Jake looks mildly confused.
Jake: What on earth is going on, I left the Bundy’s and came home to the Brady’s. We haven’t sat down for a meal together in months, maybe even a year.
Kassie: It was my idea.
Jake nodded his head.
Jake: I figured that, but he agreed? He hasn’t had much to say to me lately.
Kassie: I know, I don’t know what’s going on with him. I asked him what was up with you and him but he said he didn’t want to talk about it.
Jake: I really don’t know what his problem is.
Kassie looks suspicious at Jake’s obvious lie.
Kassie: You sure?
Jake: Yeah baby, it’s just how 16 year old boys are.
Kassie: If you say so. Let’s set the table, this will be nice to eat as a family.
The scene fades and reopens slightly later with all three of them sitting at the table and an empty plate in front of them.
Kassie: So who’s ready for dessert?
Jake: You’re gonna have to give me an hour or so before I can eat another bite. If I ate like this everyday I wouldn’t be a Cruiserweight anymore.
She turns to JC who looks equally as stuffed as his father.
Kassie: How bout you?
JC: You know it.
Kassie: I thought you’d say that. That’s the most you’ve said the whole time we’ve been eating. Are you ok?
JC looks at Jake who can’t even make eye contact with him and then back to Kassie.
JC: Yeah, just ain’t got much to say.
Kassie stands up and walks towards the refrigerator where she takes out a Cookie and Cream pie. She places it on the counter and begins cutting it with her back to the guys.
Kassie: You should tell your father about your news. I’m sure he’ll be very proud.
JC: Oh I bet he’s proud.
She turns and looks at him sternly sensing the sarcasm in his voice. Jake just sits there silent and ashamed.
Kassie: What’s that supposed to mean?
JC stands up and scoots his chair in.
JC: Nothing. I changed my mind I don’t want any dessert right now, I’m going to my room.
He leaves the room and an obviously frustrated Kassie throws a fork into the sink.
Kassie: Well I guess I’ll eat the whole damn pie by myself. What did he mean by that Jake?
Jake: Honey I honestly have no idea. What was his news?
Kassie: Maybe you should go talk to him, find out what’s wrong and let him tell you.
Jake: I’ll set him down and talk to him when I get back from Michigan. I’ve had a long couple days and just want to relax with my gorgeous wife who just cooked a meal fit for a king.
She puts the untouched pie back in the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of wine.
Jake: I like the way you think.
Kassie: I’m going to take a bubble bath.
Jake: Hell yes.
Kassie: Alone.
Jake just hangs his head as Kassie walks towards the door.
Kassie: You can get the dishes though if you plan on anything happening after my bath.
Jake: Seriously?
She nods her head without even a hint of a smile.
Kassie: Dead serious, I slaved over the stove all day it’s the least you can do. By the way? Your son was named MVP of the Blue Chippers Basketball Camp he attended and was asked to play in another All-Star game in September. That was his news.
Kassie exits the kitchen with her bottle of wine leaving Jake alone with the dishes as the scene fades.
Well howdy there pardner.